Two weeks ago I sang in church. So I had to get to church early in order to pratice with the guys I was singing with. I decided to walk since we are fairly close to the chapel and it was a beautiful morning. On the way to church I noticed an old lady walking across the street from me. She looked quite old and had difficulty walking. She noticed me looking at her and said hello. I was feeling more cheerful and friendly than usual, so I responded with a hearty 'good morning' and smiled. Next thing I know she is crossing the street and asks if she can walk with me.
Now, I am not really very nice to strangers. I can blame it no NY or it might just be my personality, but I try to avoid interaction with strangers. But I was feeling inspired and couldn't imagine being rude enough to say "no." So we walked to church as I asked her about her life. She was a widow living in Phoenix with her son. She said she was very lonely and pointed which street she lived down. I told her about my family and how long I had lived in AZ. Abruptly we arrived at church and, without knowing quite what to say, we said goodbye and went our separate ways.
This encounter has had an unusual effect upon my life. First of all, I was happy that someone found me friendly enough to want to walk with me. Maybe some of my NY crust is falling off (no eye contact, ever!). But mostly it was what I didn't do that has bothered me. Certainly I was being kind and was interested in her stories, but I wasn't interested in her. I think this is what keeps me from being a better person. Afterwards I thought of many things I could have done. I could have invited her to church. I could have found out exactly where she lived and have home teachers - or better yet me - visit her. My family could have had a large impact on her life, and vice versa. But I didn't do any of those things. I was scared, uninterested, and busy. This is one area I would like to improve my life in. I want to be more interested in helping and being a part of those around me. I want to give more.
Later that week on my perfunctory trip to the gas station to get Gatorade after basketball at 11 PM, the cashier asked me a question and I actually answered - and asked him a question! We talked for a few minutes and I hope that I made his tough night at work a little better - either that or he thinks I'm gay. :-)
3 comments:
I didn't know you had a problem with strangers. I love talking to strangers. I look for them, and they seem to find me . I can't tell you how many old ladies I have helped in the mall and stores; one I helped her find a card for her husband, she was almost blind and I read through several until she found one she liked, on lady was lost in the south hills mall and couldn't remember who she even came with, one lady couldn't find her car, one lady couldn't reach the item she wanted to purchase, etc. I am extremely fearful of strange men, though. A moving truck came down my street the other day as I was walking. I crossed to the other side as it parked up close to the curb right by David Chan,s house right on Sterling. now, there is no house for sale right there, so I got nervous as 2 gigantic men came out of the van and started walking toward me! I almost ran, but by the time I thought of running they were only 10 feet away and could have caught me easily. so I said a nervous hi and asked what they needed. they were going to walk toward Troy land to see the house that was for sale and see where to park the van. I refuse to get in an elevator with just one man, no matter age or race or what he looks like. I go up an elevator almost weekly in the Poughkeepsie parking mall to go to the church office I work in. if there is only one guy going up, I pretend I need to go back to my car! I do talk to every single person that waits on me, checks me out at a store, or sits next to me anywhere. I love to go out on slits and meet people. I find strangers and their lives incredibly interesting.
I have to say Hooray for Bret! I had already heard these stories, but to see it in writing has given me a surge of happiness in my heart. This is one thing that we are so different on, and it has always made me a little sad that he is so indifferent towards other peoples lives. I have a lot of my dad in me, and i love talking to strangers and being friendly to everyone around me, which sometimes would annoy him.
Maybe you will see this lady again and get a second chance to do it differently. I am proud of you babes for stepping out of your comfort zone.
I really didn't know that about you Bret... and here I was under the impression that you really were quite perfect. It gives me some comfort, or pride, or whatever, knowing that like Tevs, this is something that comes fairly natural to me (getting it from my dad). However, I must admit that I am only good in VERY small groups of people (2 or less, sometimes 3... but that's more than I can handle).
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