So a couple weeks ago, I got really down about how Jimmy was gone again, mostly because I realized that even when he comes back, we only have a few more weeks together, for the rest of the year. I always knew this, but it didn't really hit me until just recently. Well this made me do a lot of thinking and I decided that I should do something worth my time when he is gone. That is when I had this epiphany that I should go to Africa to do volunteer work and the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. So, I went online to do some research and looked at many different programs and groups that offer these different volunteer opportunities. I even called a bunch of these organizations and left emails, etc. Well, then I thought, if I really were to go, it would probably be smart to go with someone.And the first person I thought of was Jill. Jill was my best friend from Utah and my roommate (for those of you who don't know). She was one of the ones to come visit me in NY. Also, her brother has been to Africa like 5 times. Anyways, I called her up and asked her what she thought about going and she actually said, she thought it was a great idea!
Well to make this story short, we found this amazing looking organization called village volunteers and filled out the application to go this summer. Well, two days ago we got back our responses which gave us the green light. They put us into a specific program in the organization called, Mama na Dada, which means mother and daughter. It is in Kenya and sounds awesome! There is several volunteer opportunities offered for this program but we we were told that we will mostly be working in the circle of hope daycare, with kids who need help because most of their mothers died or are dying of AIDS.
Also this program, Mama na dada sounds like it has a lot better accommodations than some of the others because there is bottled water provided for us, we get our own hut to live in with mosquito nets for our beds, and there is a flush toilet. Most of the places, don't have this. So that is really nice. There is also electricity, although, the closest internet access to us, is 3 hours away! lol but I'm sure we'll manage.
Anyways, Jimmy and I discussed it yesterday and decided it was manageable and okay and then, Jill and I talked about it some more and we both decided that we definitely want to go ahead and go! So we are looking at plane tickets now for around the middle of June to the middle of July. We will be staying there for four weeks. So I AM SO EXCITED! There is still a chance that something might not work out, and I am going to start praying about it to make sure it is the right decision but so far we are in the clear! I really hope everything works out!
The program also allows you to take small trips on the weekend and they even provide a safari trip. So we will be doing that. We also are looking into going to Victoria Falls, and I am hoping to get to go to the coast of Kenya and put my toes in the Indian Ocean! So we will see! But I just wanted to share with you this exciting possible opportunity in my life!You can click here, CIRCLE OF HOPE DAYCARE to view more about Mama na Dada. There is a video with some of the kids. It makes me tear everytime because my heart goes out to these children. I want to be apart of helping these kids out so bad.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Desert Trip Food
Just talked to mom about this a bit. We should pin down a few things. 1. Are we staying over Saturday night? 2. Who all is going? 3.Who is in for food sharing?(meaning group meals together, probably dinner and/or breakfast) 4. How many camp stoves do we have?(Bret and I will probably be getting one) 5. Is anyone bringing dutch ovens? (I think Webb might have one but I don't know for sure)
Bret and I are in for food sharing. We were thinking that if everyone wants to join in, we could have two families tackle one meal together, depending on how many go and how many want to share.
Thoughts anyone?
Bret and I are in for food sharing. We were thinking that if everyone wants to join in, we could have two families tackle one meal together, depending on how many go and how many want to share.
Thoughts anyone?
desert trip needs
Bret is going to bring one shade tent- does anyone else coming from UT have one?
also- dad & I will need an air mattress. Bret has one with a hole he can try to patch and bring, but it would be easier if someonein UT has one. Jake, are all yours holy?
Can you patch them? Does anyone else have an extra one?
also- dad & I will need an air mattress. Bret has one with a hole he can try to patch and bring, but it would be easier if someonein UT has one. Jake, are all yours holy?
Can you patch them? Does anyone else have an extra one?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
pastry shoes
Another thing that I, being old, never heard of.
I was at the big Pallisades Mall in NJ yesterday with some friends. In the center court, they were having a lot of loud rap music and people were watching a DJ do his thing for awhile, and we walked on by with little interest. We heard him saying, "now is not the time to go away and be buying purses and pastry." Now, you have to imagine, this is a black guy with a black rap accent and music playing, mentioning pastry. We looked at each other like, what is he talking about? ;)
Lots more people went over and watched some cute girls walk a little runway and do a few dances, but we were having too much fun shopping to go sit and watch.
Later, as we were coming up one of the elevators, a big body guard guy says, "out of the way, we need this elevator" and rushes us and a few more innocent bystanders aside, and they run past with this black girl, about 16ish, in these little outfit, with bright pink hi-tops.
We were like, is she famous? So I bravely ask a young girl next to us, who was she? She told me a name I didn't quite understand, so we moved on. Later, we walked past a security guard, and I asked him what the concert and commotion was all about, and he said, (now this is a white basic mall security), "I don't know, something about Pastry". So, we thought he meant this singer or actor girl was named Pastry.
So I came home and did some good googling, and she evidently was here modelling for the Pastry line of shoes. If I had heard her name, I could have looked up more.
But it was funny that we are so out of it. There is a line of Pastry shoes, so now we know what the guy was talking about.
I guess you had to be there.
I was at the big Pallisades Mall in NJ yesterday with some friends. In the center court, they were having a lot of loud rap music and people were watching a DJ do his thing for awhile, and we walked on by with little interest. We heard him saying, "now is not the time to go away and be buying purses and pastry." Now, you have to imagine, this is a black guy with a black rap accent and music playing, mentioning pastry. We looked at each other like, what is he talking about? ;)
Lots more people went over and watched some cute girls walk a little runway and do a few dances, but we were having too much fun shopping to go sit and watch.
Later, as we were coming up one of the elevators, a big body guard guy says, "out of the way, we need this elevator" and rushes us and a few more innocent bystanders aside, and they run past with this black girl, about 16ish, in these little outfit, with bright pink hi-tops.
We were like, is she famous? So I bravely ask a young girl next to us, who was she? She told me a name I didn't quite understand, so we moved on. Later, we walked past a security guard, and I asked him what the concert and commotion was all about, and he said, (now this is a white basic mall security), "I don't know, something about Pastry". So, we thought he meant this singer or actor girl was named Pastry.
So I came home and did some good googling, and she evidently was here modelling for the Pastry line of shoes. If I had heard her name, I could have looked up more.
But it was funny that we are so out of it. There is a line of Pastry shoes, so now we know what the guy was talking about.
I guess you had to be there.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Spring Break 2009 - New Mexico
This year we decided to spend our spring break on a road trip through New Mexico. On Monday Tevia and the boys picked me up after work and we went straight up to Show Low. The next morning we set off on our trip with Tevia's parents and their RV. One might not think there is a lot to see in New Mexico, but I was looking forward to the itinerary that Tevia had put together.
The first stop was one that I was looking forward - and one that we had been to before. It was the Catwalk, a small box canyon that we had visited a few years ago for the 4th of July. I loved it then and was looking forward to the fun hike up the canyon, which consists of 'catwalks' or little suspension bridges up the canyon where they used to mine. The weather proved beautiful and the hike was great. This time there were a ton of bugs - but they were tolerable for the most part. Enok loved the hike and did great. Jarek and Malik also did well and we didn't have to carry the kids as much as we did a couple of years ago. We ate lunch there, stuck our toes in the freezing water, and enjoyed the first stop on our trip.
The second stop was a location I had never heard of before. It is called City of Rocks and we got there just before the sun was setting. It was beautiful. We found a great place to camp (Tevia's parents and the boys slept in the RV while Tevia and I shared a tent) under a huge tree right up against the rocks. The location is a spectacle as it is a huge congregation of rocks in the middle of desert. I kinda reminded me of the place we camp near Moab for the desert trip, but even cooler and better for kids. The kids could go anywhere and there was no reason for worry of them falling off of cliffs or anything like that since the only way they could get high enough for danger was if they could climb the rocks - most of which they could not (the tall ones - there were plenty of small ones to climb). We ate chili dogs and watched the sunset. Later in the dark Tevia and I hiked around and found a small nook in a rock where we could rest and talk as the cool breeze floated by and we could see millions of stars. This is a place I certainly would love to return to. We woke up in the morning and hiked around a bit more. We climbed on top of big rocks and marveled at the beauty of this site. Then we packed up and headed out to our next stop.
Stop number 3 was on Wednesday at White Sands. This is a place I had heard of before and had always wanted to visit. It has been seen in many movies and is a place of white, fine, gypsum sand (more like salt) in New Mexico. As we pulled up it literally looked like we were surrounded by snow. The roads were plowed and the asphalt was covered with the white sand as white 'sandbanks' were built up on the side of the roads. Jumping out of the RV the sand was warm on top and then cool and soothing as your foot sunk into it. The white was blinding. The weather again proved to be fantastic as it wasn't too hot nor too cold. We ate lunch at the bottom of a beautiful hill/dune. Enok enjoyed going across the street and picking up little sandballs. I am convinced he thought it was snow. We had fun jumping down the large sand dunes. I went for a small hike in search of the white lizards but couldn't find any. This stop was also beautiful and I look forward to going back again at some point. After a couple of hours or so we had brush off as much of the sand as possible and get back in the RV for our next stop.
The next stop was a KOA near Carlsbad, NM. We were to go to the Carlsbad Caverns early on Thursday, so this was a logical stop for us to refresh the RV and have some nice amenities. This KOA was very nice as it had great showers, wifi, electricity, a playground, campfire pits, etc. It even had roadrunners and bunnies for me to watch. We ordered BBQ from the camp which they delivered to our site (the boys ate mac and cheese we cooked) and afterwards we bought some Mexican paletas from the store (I got coco). I then set up a fire, but most people were tired. I took the boys to get showered and showered myself. Tevia and I decided to try and watch a movie from netflix in our tent using the wifi, but it wasn't good enough for a movie. We watched a couple of episodes of Scrubs she had on her computer and then went to sleep. I didn't sleep too well either of these nights - I find it harder to sleep in tents as I get older. Plus I had allergies which make it hard for me to sleep as well (I sleep terrible if I have to breathe through my mouth). But it was still great and I enjoyed it. In the morning I started another fire and enjoyed the brisk morning.
We then set out for Carlsbad Cavern. We bundled up a bit as the cave is fairly cool (Tevia and her parents had been here before). We had decided to descend via the natural entrance which is about a mile or so hike down into the cave. The cave was MUCH bigger than I had even imagined. It is huge. I couldn't believe how big this cave was. And it kept going down and down. It took us about an hour or so to get down to the main room. At that point most of the boys were getting tired - and by this point they had seen quite a bit of cave - and there wasn't all that much more to be seen. But we did part of the hike around the main room and then headed back up via the elevators they have. I enjoyed this part of the trip quite a bit as well.
Next up was Roswell, NM. This is the spot famous for the flying saucer crash in the 1940s. I must say it was fun to go here, but it wasn't nearly as cool as I had anticipated. We went to the UFO museum and checked out a few local shops. Enok did not like all of the fake aliens everywhere. But after a while we were a little bored and decided to take off. We didn't see any real aliens or UFOs though.
That evening we stopped in Capitan, NM which is the home of Smokey the Bear. We stayed in the Smokey Bear motel and I was able to catch a little of March Madness. We ate at a cute restaurant across the street where I ordered a green chili burger (which was great). In the morning we went to the Smokey Bear museum, which was fun, though small.
It was now our last day of our trip. We made a lunch stop in Socorro and then headed for our last anticipated stop in Pie Town, NM. The one pie place we had planned on going was closed (due to Winter hours it closed at 2 PM) so we went to the other pie place called Pie O Neer cafe. It was almost closing time for them, so we were limited in our pie selection. Jarek thoroughly enjoyed his cherry pie with ice cream and deemed it one of his favorite stops. Malik cried when he realized they did not have 'Pot Pies' which he likes - as he let us know he does not like sweet pies. Tevia and I shared an apple/blackberry pie which was fine. I'm not a big pie fan. A couple of hours later we were back in Show Low and enjoyed our obligatory dinner from La Casita.
All in all, it was a wonderful trip. I thank Tevia's dad for driving the whole time. I hate driving, so the many hours on the road were much more palatable when you can draw, play DS, read or even sleep on the bed above the cabin of the RV. My favorite stops were by far the City of Rocks and White Sands. I wish I could take everyone there one day. But it is pretty far away. I can't wait for the desert trip!
The first stop was one that I was looking forward - and one that we had been to before. It was the Catwalk, a small box canyon that we had visited a few years ago for the 4th of July. I loved it then and was looking forward to the fun hike up the canyon, which consists of 'catwalks' or little suspension bridges up the canyon where they used to mine. The weather proved beautiful and the hike was great. This time there were a ton of bugs - but they were tolerable for the most part. Enok loved the hike and did great. Jarek and Malik also did well and we didn't have to carry the kids as much as we did a couple of years ago. We ate lunch there, stuck our toes in the freezing water, and enjoyed the first stop on our trip.
The second stop was a location I had never heard of before. It is called City of Rocks and we got there just before the sun was setting. It was beautiful. We found a great place to camp (Tevia's parents and the boys slept in the RV while Tevia and I shared a tent) under a huge tree right up against the rocks. The location is a spectacle as it is a huge congregation of rocks in the middle of desert. I kinda reminded me of the place we camp near Moab for the desert trip, but even cooler and better for kids. The kids could go anywhere and there was no reason for worry of them falling off of cliffs or anything like that since the only way they could get high enough for danger was if they could climb the rocks - most of which they could not (the tall ones - there were plenty of small ones to climb). We ate chili dogs and watched the sunset. Later in the dark Tevia and I hiked around and found a small nook in a rock where we could rest and talk as the cool breeze floated by and we could see millions of stars. This is a place I certainly would love to return to. We woke up in the morning and hiked around a bit more. We climbed on top of big rocks and marveled at the beauty of this site. Then we packed up and headed out to our next stop.
Stop number 3 was on Wednesday at White Sands. This is a place I had heard of before and had always wanted to visit. It has been seen in many movies and is a place of white, fine, gypsum sand (more like salt) in New Mexico. As we pulled up it literally looked like we were surrounded by snow. The roads were plowed and the asphalt was covered with the white sand as white 'sandbanks' were built up on the side of the roads. Jumping out of the RV the sand was warm on top and then cool and soothing as your foot sunk into it. The white was blinding. The weather again proved to be fantastic as it wasn't too hot nor too cold. We ate lunch at the bottom of a beautiful hill/dune. Enok enjoyed going across the street and picking up little sandballs. I am convinced he thought it was snow. We had fun jumping down the large sand dunes. I went for a small hike in search of the white lizards but couldn't find any. This stop was also beautiful and I look forward to going back again at some point. After a couple of hours or so we had brush off as much of the sand as possible and get back in the RV for our next stop.
The next stop was a KOA near Carlsbad, NM. We were to go to the Carlsbad Caverns early on Thursday, so this was a logical stop for us to refresh the RV and have some nice amenities. This KOA was very nice as it had great showers, wifi, electricity, a playground, campfire pits, etc. It even had roadrunners and bunnies for me to watch. We ordered BBQ from the camp which they delivered to our site (the boys ate mac and cheese we cooked) and afterwards we bought some Mexican paletas from the store (I got coco). I then set up a fire, but most people were tired. I took the boys to get showered and showered myself. Tevia and I decided to try and watch a movie from netflix in our tent using the wifi, but it wasn't good enough for a movie. We watched a couple of episodes of Scrubs she had on her computer and then went to sleep. I didn't sleep too well either of these nights - I find it harder to sleep in tents as I get older. Plus I had allergies which make it hard for me to sleep as well (I sleep terrible if I have to breathe through my mouth). But it was still great and I enjoyed it. In the morning I started another fire and enjoyed the brisk morning.
We then set out for Carlsbad Cavern. We bundled up a bit as the cave is fairly cool (Tevia and her parents had been here before). We had decided to descend via the natural entrance which is about a mile or so hike down into the cave. The cave was MUCH bigger than I had even imagined. It is huge. I couldn't believe how big this cave was. And it kept going down and down. It took us about an hour or so to get down to the main room. At that point most of the boys were getting tired - and by this point they had seen quite a bit of cave - and there wasn't all that much more to be seen. But we did part of the hike around the main room and then headed back up via the elevators they have. I enjoyed this part of the trip quite a bit as well.
Next up was Roswell, NM. This is the spot famous for the flying saucer crash in the 1940s. I must say it was fun to go here, but it wasn't nearly as cool as I had anticipated. We went to the UFO museum and checked out a few local shops. Enok did not like all of the fake aliens everywhere. But after a while we were a little bored and decided to take off. We didn't see any real aliens or UFOs though.
That evening we stopped in Capitan, NM which is the home of Smokey the Bear. We stayed in the Smokey Bear motel and I was able to catch a little of March Madness. We ate at a cute restaurant across the street where I ordered a green chili burger (which was great). In the morning we went to the Smokey Bear museum, which was fun, though small.
It was now our last day of our trip. We made a lunch stop in Socorro and then headed for our last anticipated stop in Pie Town, NM. The one pie place we had planned on going was closed (due to Winter hours it closed at 2 PM) so we went to the other pie place called Pie O Neer cafe. It was almost closing time for them, so we were limited in our pie selection. Jarek thoroughly enjoyed his cherry pie with ice cream and deemed it one of his favorite stops. Malik cried when he realized they did not have 'Pot Pies' which he likes - as he let us know he does not like sweet pies. Tevia and I shared an apple/blackberry pie which was fine. I'm not a big pie fan. A couple of hours later we were back in Show Low and enjoyed our obligatory dinner from La Casita.
All in all, it was a wonderful trip. I thank Tevia's dad for driving the whole time. I hate driving, so the many hours on the road were much more palatable when you can draw, play DS, read or even sleep on the bed above the cabin of the RV. My favorite stops were by far the City of Rocks and White Sands. I wish I could take everyone there one day. But it is pretty far away. I can't wait for the desert trip!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
top place in America to visit
I guess you can all guess what the #1 place to visit is in America; can you guess #2? Temple Square ranks #16. That's not bad.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Some pics
Here are some recent pics of us and Hazel.
And here are a couple from Andy's wedding.
Enjoy!
And here are a couple from Andy's wedding.
Enjoy!
update on Wii progress
Thanks for the soccer challenge. I improve every single day, and I am now up to 122! It is fun to see the progress made. I will never get close to you guys, but I am kicking my own butt!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
more desert trip
If Andrew and Kim come, or Nicole and Alex, and they want to share in our meals, we could have them bring the paper products and snack type stuff. Amanda and Jared may come too.
Dad will call Daniel Woodland this week about any advantages going somewhere else may have, otherwise, I think most of us want to go to the usual place.
Dad will call Daniel Woodland this week about any advantages going somewhere else may have, otherwise, I think most of us want to go to the usual place.
desert trip things to bring list
Some of these things we share, some dad & I can't bring on a plane, some Jacob Wall has, etc.
tent
ground cloth
sleeping bags
coleman stove
propane
air mattress
coolers
pillows
latrine, poop tent
chairs
table
water jug
cutting board
utensils
pots, pans
fire stuff
We can bring our own tent and sleeping bags. We will need a cooler, which we can maybe get from Bonnie, an air mattress, and we obviously can't bring a table or chairs.
We will also need some pillows.
If we have to, we can buy an air mattress when we get there.
tent
ground cloth
sleeping bags
coleman stove
propane
air mattress
coolers
pillows
latrine, poop tent
chairs
table
water jug
cutting board
utensils
pots, pans
fire stuff
We can bring our own tent and sleeping bags. We will need a cooler, which we can maybe get from Bonnie, an air mattress, and we obviously can't bring a table or chairs.
We will also need some pillows.
If we have to, we can buy an air mattress when we get there.
desert trip food
Hi all, as we get closer, we can start to think about how to handle the food situation. Last time we all went, we split the meals up, so one family cooked one meal for everyone, making it easier to buy the food, kind of.
To review: those who went in on Wed night had stew & rolls. Tevia did Chili and hot dogs Thursday night, Friday night we did burgers, and Bret & Tevia did Mountain House meals.
I think we did all our own lunches, and I did a big breakfast on Friday or Saturday.
Anyways, we will wait and see who is all going, but at this point, it is for sure us, J & Cari, Webbs, B & Tevia. That is 2 + basically 2 + basically 2 + 5 = 11. (2 babies, Enok eats more than a baby nowadays).
I assume we are all going in on Thursday for dinner? That would make 2 dinners, 2 lunches, and 2 breakfasts. We have 4 families, so, we can each pick a breakfast or a dinner, and leave lunches up to each family. Or we can all do separate food.
What do you all think?
To review: those who went in on Wed night had stew & rolls. Tevia did Chili and hot dogs Thursday night, Friday night we did burgers, and Bret & Tevia did Mountain House meals.
I think we did all our own lunches, and I did a big breakfast on Friday or Saturday.
Anyways, we will wait and see who is all going, but at this point, it is for sure us, J & Cari, Webbs, B & Tevia. That is 2 + basically 2 + basically 2 + 5 = 11. (2 babies, Enok eats more than a baby nowadays).
I assume we are all going in on Thursday for dinner? That would make 2 dinners, 2 lunches, and 2 breakfasts. We have 4 families, so, we can each pick a breakfast or a dinner, and leave lunches up to each family. Or we can all do separate food.
What do you all think?
Friday, March 06, 2009
Which is worse?
Ever since the Rhianna/Chris Brown incident, I started wondering about which things are cause for automatic breakups in relationships. And in my thinking I would guess that things have changed dramatically over the years. It would be my guess (and in reading people's reaction to the Rhianna situation) that most people today would say that if a man hits a woman, that is/can be automatic grounds for divorce or breakup. In having this conversation with a few women I know, I would say that this is especially true from the woman's point of view.
However, when it comes to other 'errors' of judgment on the man's part, I realized that this probably isn't the case with something like adultery. From a popular/celebrity point of view, it certainly would seem that adultery is considered as something to work through. Few people would say it is good (though it seems more and more consider it 'normal'), but I don't think most people would say it is automatic grounds for divorce. Outside of the public eye, it has been my experience that this seems to also be the case. If a man has an affair, most of the times it seems the couple try to reconcile (which may or may not succeed).
In thinking about these two scenarios, I began to scratch my head as to why we would be more accepting of one than the other. Let me state that I in no way condone either of these actions - and believe both of them to be egregious and serious sins. But I would say that if we turned the clock back 50 years (or even thousands of years) I would guess that adultery would be considered much more serious than a man hitting his woman/spouse. Certainly we have progressed in the treatment of women (at least in this country - and yes, I know some may debate this statement) and this would seem to lead to us being less tolerant of abuse of women. At the same time have we regressed in our treatment of adultery? Or perhaps we have become more forgiving (certainly seems like the Christian thing to do) with adultery, but have become less tolerant of physical contact. Maybe it is a combination of both.
Either way, from my point of view, it would seem that if my husband (let's have imaginations here, I am not hinting anything here) lost his control in an argument and happened to hit me one time and had never done this before, I would think I would be more forgiving than if I found out he had an affair. Maybe that is because I am a man and can not imagine the impact being hit would have upon me. But from a man's point of view, I would think having lost control of my hand in a moment of passion isn't nearly as bad as losing control of something much more passionate and private. I am looking at this from the point of view that a man does it once and is truly penitent. Repeat offenders of either of these sins lose all respect in my eyes. From a more 'church' point of view, I'd be curious to see which of these actions would require more repentance (disciplinary actions). I'm sure it would vary, but one of these is a direct breaking of a sacred covenant that many people make with God (thou shalt not commit adultery). Does that make it more serious?
In the end, perhaps it has more to do with what the physical contact was. I believe there is a big difference between a punch and a slap (as does the law). And certainly there is a difference if the action is repeated as opposed to just one blow. But in speaking to a few women I know, even that doesn't seem to matter in terms of the consequence of leaving the man. Just one slap would seem to merit instant divorce. Just one affair may or may not.
Ironic is the fact that somebody like Rhianna appears to have forgiven Mr. Brown and returned to work things out. Even with all of the negative feedback of friends, family, and press. And according to a few articles that have popped up online this tends to be the case for women that are hit repeatedly. Maybe the true fear is that if they hit me once, they WILL hit me again. And even though all of the women I have spoken with have agreed they would leave their man instantly, I must say I've never heard of a situation where a woman left because she was hit. This may be more due to the fact that somebody probably wouldn't want to publicize it though. But maybe in reality men still can/do get away with abusing their women more than having an affair. Maybe that is why many women are so unforgiving of a 'theoretical' scenario - because they know of women who have gone through this and they will not let it happen to them.
Either way I think the woman has the right to her decision. Men should be held accountable for their actions. For me I just found it interesting that it seemed women are much more forgiving of men who make a poor decision and commit adultery than of men who make a poor decision and hit them. I would have guessed the other way around - at least for first time offenders.
However, when it comes to other 'errors' of judgment on the man's part, I realized that this probably isn't the case with something like adultery. From a popular/celebrity point of view, it certainly would seem that adultery is considered as something to work through. Few people would say it is good (though it seems more and more consider it 'normal'), but I don't think most people would say it is automatic grounds for divorce. Outside of the public eye, it has been my experience that this seems to also be the case. If a man has an affair, most of the times it seems the couple try to reconcile (which may or may not succeed).
In thinking about these two scenarios, I began to scratch my head as to why we would be more accepting of one than the other. Let me state that I in no way condone either of these actions - and believe both of them to be egregious and serious sins. But I would say that if we turned the clock back 50 years (or even thousands of years) I would guess that adultery would be considered much more serious than a man hitting his woman/spouse. Certainly we have progressed in the treatment of women (at least in this country - and yes, I know some may debate this statement) and this would seem to lead to us being less tolerant of abuse of women. At the same time have we regressed in our treatment of adultery? Or perhaps we have become more forgiving (certainly seems like the Christian thing to do) with adultery, but have become less tolerant of physical contact. Maybe it is a combination of both.
Either way, from my point of view, it would seem that if my husband (let's have imaginations here, I am not hinting anything here) lost his control in an argument and happened to hit me one time and had never done this before, I would think I would be more forgiving than if I found out he had an affair. Maybe that is because I am a man and can not imagine the impact being hit would have upon me. But from a man's point of view, I would think having lost control of my hand in a moment of passion isn't nearly as bad as losing control of something much more passionate and private. I am looking at this from the point of view that a man does it once and is truly penitent. Repeat offenders of either of these sins lose all respect in my eyes. From a more 'church' point of view, I'd be curious to see which of these actions would require more repentance (disciplinary actions). I'm sure it would vary, but one of these is a direct breaking of a sacred covenant that many people make with God (thou shalt not commit adultery). Does that make it more serious?
In the end, perhaps it has more to do with what the physical contact was. I believe there is a big difference between a punch and a slap (as does the law). And certainly there is a difference if the action is repeated as opposed to just one blow. But in speaking to a few women I know, even that doesn't seem to matter in terms of the consequence of leaving the man. Just one slap would seem to merit instant divorce. Just one affair may or may not.
Ironic is the fact that somebody like Rhianna appears to have forgiven Mr. Brown and returned to work things out. Even with all of the negative feedback of friends, family, and press. And according to a few articles that have popped up online this tends to be the case for women that are hit repeatedly. Maybe the true fear is that if they hit me once, they WILL hit me again. And even though all of the women I have spoken with have agreed they would leave their man instantly, I must say I've never heard of a situation where a woman left because she was hit. This may be more due to the fact that somebody probably wouldn't want to publicize it though. But maybe in reality men still can/do get away with abusing their women more than having an affair. Maybe that is why many women are so unforgiving of a 'theoretical' scenario - because they know of women who have gone through this and they will not let it happen to them.
Either way I think the woman has the right to her decision. Men should be held accountable for their actions. For me I just found it interesting that it seemed women are much more forgiving of men who make a poor decision and commit adultery than of men who make a poor decision and hit them. I would have guessed the other way around - at least for first time offenders.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
New Suburban and its name is ?
Here is a quick video of our new sweet ride!
Problem is we don't have a name.
As this car will be in our family for a while, we figured you might be able to help us with some suggestions.
Power Snow or ChiBi Robo?
I first got Malik a pretend hamster in a ball, which he loved, and even took to bed and to school, and named Power Snow. I think I should have stopped there. Power Snow didn't bite.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
In like a lion...
I'm not sure the old 'in like a lion, out like a lamb' applies to Phoenix, but it has been very warm the last few days. I'm not complaining, I like it warm. I even jumped in the pool on Saturday, which I would guess was in the refreshing upper 60s. Jarek and Enok also thought it would be fun to join the pool party, but everyone else stayed away.
My mother was able to visit us this last week. It was Malik's and Tevia's birthday and we had some fun activities. For Malik he got a new pet: a robo hamster. He named it Chibi and she is quite cute, though seems to bite a lot. Maybe she is still nervous (as many websites say they are nervous the first few days). For Tevia's birthday we went to a hotel in Scottsdale after a great meal at a Cuban restaurant. It was fun being alone with her as we were nerds and watched Battlestar Galactica at the hotel. It reminded me of our first night after our wedding (which was also a hotel in Scottsdale) where we cuddled up and watched the X-Files. We are kinda sci-fi nerds. We also went shopping to get some shoes and I was amazed at how many stores in the mall were closed. I don't get to a mall that often these days, but it was basically empty on a Friday night and it seemed that at least 15% of the stores were closed. The economy truly seems to be taking a toll. It looked like the South Hills Mall in Poughkeepsie.
Sunday we were lucky enough to hear Jarek bare his testimony at church. We also got to hear Malik give a talk in primary. They are such good boys and I am so lucky to be their father. They make my job seem so easy. I just sit and watch and try to follow their good examples.
I think the hardest thing about getting older is how quickly time goes by. I sometimes wish I could make time stop and enjoy more of the present. Enok has a habit of gesturing you to sit next to him on the couch and then puts your arm around him and wants you to hold him close to you. It is such a cute little action. It makes me feel loved and I wish at those moments I could sit next to him like that forever.
My mother was able to visit us this last week. It was Malik's and Tevia's birthday and we had some fun activities. For Malik he got a new pet: a robo hamster. He named it Chibi and she is quite cute, though seems to bite a lot. Maybe she is still nervous (as many websites say they are nervous the first few days). For Tevia's birthday we went to a hotel in Scottsdale after a great meal at a Cuban restaurant. It was fun being alone with her as we were nerds and watched Battlestar Galactica at the hotel. It reminded me of our first night after our wedding (which was also a hotel in Scottsdale) where we cuddled up and watched the X-Files. We are kinda sci-fi nerds. We also went shopping to get some shoes and I was amazed at how many stores in the mall were closed. I don't get to a mall that often these days, but it was basically empty on a Friday night and it seemed that at least 15% of the stores were closed. The economy truly seems to be taking a toll. It looked like the South Hills Mall in Poughkeepsie.
Sunday we were lucky enough to hear Jarek bare his testimony at church. We also got to hear Malik give a talk in primary. They are such good boys and I am so lucky to be their father. They make my job seem so easy. I just sit and watch and try to follow their good examples.
I think the hardest thing about getting older is how quickly time goes by. I sometimes wish I could make time stop and enjoy more of the present. Enok has a habit of gesturing you to sit next to him on the couch and then puts your arm around him and wants you to hold him close to you. It is such a cute little action. It makes me feel loved and I wish at those moments I could sit next to him like that forever.
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