Kidney Stone

It was Monday morning and a holiday.  I was excited for the day off of work and  looking forward to a relaxing day.  I had decided to do the dishes that morning and suddenly felt a major pain in my side as I leaned over to put a dish in the dishwasher.  I thought I must have pulled my back.

Annoyed, I moved to the other room where Jarek was and the pain got worse.  I laid on the ground and tried to find a position to relieve the pain, but no luck.  The pain kept getting worse and no longer felt like a pulled muscle or back pain.  It was in the lower back area just beneath the rib cage on the left side.  I think I began to moan a little and Jarek got worried.  "Should I get mom?" he asked.  I told him no, that I would be fine.  After a few more minutes he said "I'm getting mom".

We had Jacob and Millie over and Jacob, being a physical therapist, asked some questions and moved my body in ways to see if he could figure out what it might be.  He decided it wasn't a muscle or bone, but most likely something else, like an organ.  After some more looking while the pain finally began to subside, we decided it must be a kidney stone.  Tevia's mom had one a few years ago and after talking to her it seemed to fit the description.

We quickly looked up kidney stones and saw that most pass within a couple of days.  I had heard they were painful, but decided to try and bear it and avoid going in to the hospital.  By the next afternoon, we decided to change that strategy.

I went into the hospital in a lot of pain.  The pain had come and gone several times, but this time it was lasting much longer (more than an hour) and constant pain.  They took a CT scan and confirmed it was a kidney stone.  They tried some meds to ease the pain (didn't really work), ordered some prescriptions and sent us on our way.  Seeing as it was almost two day since the pain started, I was hoping that with the Flo-max they gave me it would pass quickly.  I was still working (when I wasn't doubled over in pain).

By Friday nothing had changed.  I went in to the urologist who changed some meds and suggested I come in the next week with an x-ray.  He said some stones take longer to pass and to give it patience.

By early the next week I was getting desperate.  Life seemed just a constant wave of pain.  The pain meds did little to help ease the pain and I was getting less and less sleep.  I also had become constipated (first time in my life - a common side effect of kidney stones) adding to the discomfort.  I got meds for that too, but they did little to help.  I was able to see how many people must feel that live in constant pain.  You have little desire to do anything.  Even watching TV was painful.  Fear that I would never feel "well" again crept into my mind.  I felt like I was a burden to my family, my company, my church.  I felt my prayers were going unanswered.  I felt alone.

I went into the urologist again and with an x-ray it showed the stone was almost to the bladder.  Wednesday morning I was able to get some sleep and when I woke up Tevia said "today it will pass".  We focused more on getting me moving to try and force the stone out.  I drank as much as possible (I had done this the whole time and it was miserable as I was constipated and constantly nauseous), went on several walks, ran in place from time to time,and prayed a lot.  By late afternoon I finally felt the feelings that the internet had said I would feel when the stone made it into the bladder.  Not much longer the stone passed and I saved it to show the doctor.  Within an hour or so the pain had completely stopped and I was basically back to normal.

It took a couple more days to get my digestive track back on track and feel energized and rested.  But now it is like the thing never happened.  9 days of pain and frustration.  During this time I had learned that many people have had stones.  Each of them talked about how painful it was - and almost all the women said it was worse than childbirth.  I can't comment on that, but I can say that it was a new level of pain that I didn't enjoy.  I learned a lot and hope it never happens again.  They say that once you've had one, the chances of having others increases.  It seems like a week of my life just disappeared.  That I wasn't even there.  That I was just observing me in pain.

And once it passed, life was suddenly wonderful again.

My Mother

We have an incredible mother in our family and recently I've felt a desire to write a quick blog about her and some of what she has done for me in my life.  I feel like I don't ever show her enough appreciation or gratitude for all that she's does.  I hope that this helps her understand what she means to me.

The most important thing that she had done for me in my life has been being an example of love, Mom has always been and still is someone who really loves and cares for those around her.  I have memories throughout my entire life of her trying to help those around her, whether it was a fellow relief society sister, a young woman, her children, or anyone else in her life.  Dad once told me this about mom: "Most people walk into a church meeting thinking, 'who do I want to sit by.'  Your mother thinks, 'who needs me to sit next to them.'"  I know that sounds like something small, but in my entire life, I have never really come across a more simple example of someone caring about others above themselves.  My mother truly loves others.  

Mom is an amazing cook.  I loved every meal that she made me.  Sometimes it is hard to appreciate cooking talent until you are exposed to cooking that maybe isn't quite the best...  Holly and I have two children.  When both of them were born several ward members were nice enough to bring us dinner for a few nights.  I have to say, I am still very surprised by the low quality of some of those meals.  I am spoiled when it comes to well-cooked meals.  For the first 18 years of my life, it was my mom who did the spoiling, although, now it is Holly who does the spoiling.  Holly's cooking never ceases to amaze me.  I hold that she is the best cook in the family even though she would be mad at me for saying that.  Mom's cooking is still some of the best I've ever had.

Mom is also incredibly smart.  When I asked grandma what mom was like as a child, one of the first things she said was that  she was always wanting to learn something new.  As the youngest I was still home when mom started taking college classes from Dutchess Community College.  I am impressed that she even wanted to go back to school, but I am especially impressed with how good she did in her classes.  Mom didn't have the same opportunities that we (her children) did with education as a child, but she still excelled when it came to new school work.  I am grateful for the brains she passed on to me.  

Mom is a dedicated Latter Day Saint.  From my observations, if you give mom a responsibility in the church, whether it be a calling or assignment, she simply magnifies it.  The job will get done, and it will be done well.  She has always been an example to me of true faith.  I don't know about the rest of her kids, but I used more stories about my mother while teaching on m mission than I did of anyone else, and the competition wasn't even close.  The most significant story I used was her story on tithing.  

There are many more things that I could write about my mother, but I will just end by saying that I believe I had the best mother of all.  She did so much for me and she still serves me today.  I enjoy talking with her on the phone these days.  My family receives a package with something nice from her almost daily.  Well, maybe not daily, but its often enough to impress me.  I look forward to seeing her here in Utah soon.  Thanks mom for all that you've done and who you've been for me in my life.