Saturday, March 31, 2007
conference
ok, to get everyone to blog this weekend, I think everyone should have to blog their favorite conference talk. gotta love conference weekend. !
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Secret
This is actually - in a way - in response to Bret's blog about the book The Secret. No, I haven't read it, and until I read your post I had never heard of it... I tend to be out of the loop since we don't really have TV now and even if we did, we would NOT be watching Opra (I know I know, hers wasn't the only show to talk about it).
Anyway... It's interesting that I was just thinking about this concept lately - the power of the mind. I too believe that each of us has the power to bring about "self fulfilled prophesies." I've seen it all to often in my own life (as well as in the lives of others) not to. Unfortunately, unlike Bret, I think my self-fulfilled prophecies tend to be negative. It's been a persistent life-long struggle with me (and I think even within our family). However, there is good news:
Despite the fact that I (and most of us Webb’s and Borrego’s) am so good at projecting negativity upon me by the power of thought, life is not all bad. I've been blessed with an amazing family that, although they may not truly know me, who I am, or what I face each day (good or bad), I know they still love and care about me. I know they are there (and even here) for me. Of all the things I've doubted or struggled with in life since leaving home, the love our family has for each other has never been questioned (I think for this reason I was so shocked to hear from Tevs that my family seems to think otherwise simply based on the fact that I live in Utah and don't visit all that often)... but this blog is not about that.
The point is, I can look back and clearly recall a number of occasions where I have ruined relationships, lost opportunities, and performed poorly simply as a result of negative thinking (causing my own self fulfilled prophesy). I can also recount occasions where positive thought has brought about positive results. It makes sense then - as I've heard said before - that if you are unhappy with the situation you are in, perhaps you should think about changing your attitude rather than trying to change the situation.
Anyway... It's interesting that I was just thinking about this concept lately - the power of the mind. I too believe that each of us has the power to bring about "self fulfilled prophesies." I've seen it all to often in my own life (as well as in the lives of others) not to. Unfortunately, unlike Bret, I think my self-fulfilled prophecies tend to be negative. It's been a persistent life-long struggle with me (and I think even within our family). However, there is good news:
Despite the fact that I (and most of us Webb’s and Borrego’s) am so good at projecting negativity upon me by the power of thought, life is not all bad. I've been blessed with an amazing family that, although they may not truly know me, who I am, or what I face each day (good or bad), I know they still love and care about me. I know they are there (and even here) for me. Of all the things I've doubted or struggled with in life since leaving home, the love our family has for each other has never been questioned (I think for this reason I was so shocked to hear from Tevs that my family seems to think otherwise simply based on the fact that I live in Utah and don't visit all that often)... but this blog is not about that.
The point is, I can look back and clearly recall a number of occasions where I have ruined relationships, lost opportunities, and performed poorly simply as a result of negative thinking (causing my own self fulfilled prophesy). I can also recount occasions where positive thought has brought about positive results. It makes sense then - as I've heard said before - that if you are unhappy with the situation you are in, perhaps you should think about changing your attitude rather than trying to change the situation.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
easter
are we doing any Eastery bunny type things on the desert trip? we can play hide the eggs at least. let me know what a grandma should or should not do or bring. :)
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Finetune - The Secret
A few weeks ago I posted about the amazing site pandora.com. I still use this site a lot to learn new music, but I found another site that lets me listen to music I already know - without having to illegally download it or store it on my computer. At finetune.com you can create playlists - and the concept is to create mixtapes - like you did (well, I did) when you were young. You can then listen to these or share them. It is free and the only real limitation is that you can only have three songs by one artist in each playlist and you have to have a certain amount of songs - but you can press the "I'm lazy" button to fill in the rest if you don't want to take the time. I have posted a recent playlist I created of music I used to have on tapes that I was never able to really buy CDs for or download. Pretty cool. Catch it while you can as these sites probably won't be around much longer as the RIAA is trying to sue these sites. You know - like Napster.
Have you heard of the book "The Secret?" It is a top seller and has gotten a lot of airtime lately. I haven't read it personally, but from what I've seen it should have been written by me! Actually, it really is just rehashing a lot of thoughts of previous authors. But the concept is that you can get anything you want in life by "thinking" it to happen. Kinda like the power of positive thinking. I am such a big proponent of this way of thinking. I truly believe - and live the concept - that we can make our lives what we want them to be. People make themselves miserable or happy. It is what we imagine for ourselves that happens. There is even, in my mind, religious support to this as we are often told that we will receive what we pray for (yes, there are limitations). I love this subject as I believe we all create self-fulfilling prophecies for ourselves. If we believe our marriage will suck and be hard - it will! If I believe I am going to be successful and get the next promotion - I will! The secret is you really have to believe - or we might say have faith. One excellent book that I love to read that dwells on this subject is Dune by Frank Herbert. In it the prophet Muad'Dib starts to wonder whether or not he really is a prophet or if he is just making his prophecies come true. By imagining something and then setting things in motion for that to happen. This truly is a big concept as you can imagine the power of God to be akin to what he imagines happens. Are there divine laws of nature that truly are manipulated by our thoughts or desires? If you study faith and priesthood it would seem that this may be the case. So if you happen to read the book, let me know if it is good. I will be working on a career changing thought over the next few months. I still need to convince myself that it is what I want - but when I do I'll let you know if it worked. It worked with Tevia (i.e. she married me - you think that would have happened without some voodoo????).
Have you heard of the book "The Secret?" It is a top seller and has gotten a lot of airtime lately. I haven't read it personally, but from what I've seen it should have been written by me! Actually, it really is just rehashing a lot of thoughts of previous authors. But the concept is that you can get anything you want in life by "thinking" it to happen. Kinda like the power of positive thinking. I am such a big proponent of this way of thinking. I truly believe - and live the concept - that we can make our lives what we want them to be. People make themselves miserable or happy. It is what we imagine for ourselves that happens. There is even, in my mind, religious support to this as we are often told that we will receive what we pray for (yes, there are limitations). I love this subject as I believe we all create self-fulfilling prophecies for ourselves. If we believe our marriage will suck and be hard - it will! If I believe I am going to be successful and get the next promotion - I will! The secret is you really have to believe - or we might say have faith. One excellent book that I love to read that dwells on this subject is Dune by Frank Herbert. In it the prophet Muad'Dib starts to wonder whether or not he really is a prophet or if he is just making his prophecies come true. By imagining something and then setting things in motion for that to happen. This truly is a big concept as you can imagine the power of God to be akin to what he imagines happens. Are there divine laws of nature that truly are manipulated by our thoughts or desires? If you study faith and priesthood it would seem that this may be the case. So if you happen to read the book, let me know if it is good. I will be working on a career changing thought over the next few months. I still need to convince myself that it is what I want - but when I do I'll let you know if it worked. It worked with Tevia (i.e. she married me - you think that would have happened without some voodoo????).
Sunday, March 25, 2007
From the pulpit, compliment, and my two cents on Christmas
Our sacrament meeting had a few extra minutes today when the scheduled talks were finished, and so our bishop stood up to fill the time with some counsel for the ward. He mentioned increasing our fast offerings and the ward goals that he encouraged us to fast for on Fast Sunday in two weeks. One he mentioned was that our Primary and youth programs were getting smaller. So he said that we need more kids in the ward and we should fast and pray to know what we can do to bring more kids to the ward. So I leaned over to Jacob and asked him, "Did you hear that? The bishop just asked us to have babies. If they need more kids in the Primary, we'd better get started." Considering our constant baby discussion, we thought it was pretty funny.
And Jacob is forcing me to share the following: My company is trying to hire two more analysts (people who would do what I do) and they have been having a hard time finding someone they like. So two of my bosses said to me this last week on separate occasions that one of the things that is making hiring this year so hard is that I am/was so perfect for the job and that none of current applicants quite measure up. So, big compliment from my local powers that be.
And finally, here's my two cents on Christmas this year: it make more money sense to do Christmas somewhere in the West that's within driving distance of Phoenix, Provo or both. Two plane tickets instead of nine is a pretty big difference. As for Provo, Phoenix or somewhere in between, I'm up for whatever. And I've never actually cooked a turkey, so I'm not recommending that I be put in charge of Christmas dinner. In fact, I highly discourage it. I like the condo in Park City idea, but I don't know how difficult it would be to make that idea come to fruition. I love Phoenix in the winter but I don't know how my time off is going to shake out this year. I think as long as I don't take very long for Thanksgiving, I'll be good to take at least a week for Christmas. Anyway, the world doesn't revolve around me (obviously) so what I'm trying to say is that I'm/we're completely flexible though I think doing it somewhere out west is a better plan. Well, that's all, folks.
And Jacob is forcing me to share the following: My company is trying to hire two more analysts (people who would do what I do) and they have been having a hard time finding someone they like. So two of my bosses said to me this last week on separate occasions that one of the things that is making hiring this year so hard is that I am/was so perfect for the job and that none of current applicants quite measure up. So, big compliment from my local powers that be.
And finally, here's my two cents on Christmas this year: it make more money sense to do Christmas somewhere in the West that's within driving distance of Phoenix, Provo or both. Two plane tickets instead of nine is a pretty big difference. As for Provo, Phoenix or somewhere in between, I'm up for whatever. And I've never actually cooked a turkey, so I'm not recommending that I be put in charge of Christmas dinner. In fact, I highly discourage it. I like the condo in Park City idea, but I don't know how difficult it would be to make that idea come to fruition. I love Phoenix in the winter but I don't know how my time off is going to shake out this year. I think as long as I don't take very long for Thanksgiving, I'll be good to take at least a week for Christmas. Anyway, the world doesn't revolve around me (obviously) so what I'm trying to say is that I'm/we're completely flexible though I think doing it somewhere out west is a better plan. Well, that's all, folks.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Zoo
I took the boys to the zoo this week since it was their spring break. We went with a mom and her two daughters. One of the daughters is in Malik's special needs class. Her name is Montie. We had decided to meet up at the zoo at 9:00 in the morning on Wednesday. Right off the bat I was super impressed. I believe this is the first time EVER that we have invited someone to go to the zoo with us that showed up before us. And we were on time. Every other person I have met up with has been late...
We saw the sting rays first of all. My kids have been before, but her girls had not. (her other daughter is 14) We had very good timing and got there right when they were feeding the sting rays, so everyone got a piece of fish to feed them. Jarek dropped his in, but Malik got the sting ray to eat his. It was really cool because their mouths just kind of opened up funny and slurped up the fish. Malik loved it. Montie was a little nervous to do it, so she gave her fish to Malik who happily fed another sting ray. The boys leaned over touching them and encouraged Montie to do the same. After many attempts (she would reach her hand in then pull it away just as the sting rays would come close) she finally touched one and everybody cheered her on for overcoming her fear. It was neat to watch, and her mom was so proud of her.
We decided to let the kids map out our course and they chose to ride the "train" around the park. We got off at the farm area. We took our time wandering around and the kids dug in the compost pile thinking it was great fun pulling out old banana peels and chunks of celery and bits and pieces of food that was mixed in the dirt. Montie got right in there with the boys and her mom was amazed.
When we got to this part by the raccoons, there was a "cave" that you could walk into to see inside the exhibit. the boys went into the cave. I was standing on the other side of the exhibit to wave to to the kids. There were little round glass windows that let you look from the cave into the raccoon exhibit and you could wave to the people inside the cave. Montie kept looking over to where they were and wanted to go, but seemed hesitant. Lori, Montie's mom, was telling me that Montie doesn't wander out of sight of her mom because she has separation fears. Well, Montie kept eyeballing the boys and decided to follow them. The boys urged her to come to the cave, and were careful to look out for her and to make sure she was near them. Lori started having a panic attack of sorts saying that she gets very anxious when Montie is out of her sight for any length of time. I told her to sit down and just breathe. She looked really nervous but I told her there were only two ways out and we could see both exits so they couldn't really escape. The kids were really only there for about 4 minutes, but it was a good for both Lori and Montie. I have been trying give my kids a little more "rope" if you will, to explore and move farther away from my grasp and sight. It is very hard, but it seemed to be a little easier having someone there who has anxiety worse then me when it comes to watching their children. Ultimately she was fine and said that it was good for her to let Montie explore. After that Montie tagged close by the boys and would wander off with them for a bit.
One of the really great things about this zoo trip was the fact that these guys moved at about the same pace as us. I never felt stressed or up-tight about having to keep up with other kids that zoomed on ahead. Since we were at a relaxed pace, we actually lasted a lot longer at the zoo than we normally do. We were there from 9:00 to 1:00. I was amazed, and felt so relaxed.
At the end I wanted to feed Enok before we drove home. We stopped at the big tree house and off the kids went. I was stuck with a baby stuck on me so couldn't shadow my kids like I normally do. Jarek wandered pretty far; I think he was testing how far he could go before I yelled for him to get closer. I never yelled for him, and I think he enjoyed not being under my thumb. Malik took off without a backward glance and made a friend right away. He was sad to leave his friend but promised to find him the next time we came to the zoo.
The boys were very worn out that afternoon and after our daily reading time I let them play some Nintendo. They wanted to go to bed early so we gave them a bath and put them to bed.
This zoo trip was so enjoyable for me. It really makes a difference going with people who move at the same pace. I didn't feel guilty for my kids being slow, or feel guilty for yelling at my kids to hurry it up. We were relaxed, happy and satisfied. I feel that hanging out with other people who have children with special needs really gives me an opportunity to share something in common. It is amazing to see the dedication and strength that other mothers have and the special, deep love that extends beyond their own child to others around them. It is amazing to have these boys in my life. They have opened up my heart and understanding to people and circumstances I may never have met/had before. God knows what he is doing, of that I am sure.
We saw the sting rays first of all. My kids have been before, but her girls had not. (her other daughter is 14) We had very good timing and got there right when they were feeding the sting rays, so everyone got a piece of fish to feed them. Jarek dropped his in, but Malik got the sting ray to eat his. It was really cool because their mouths just kind of opened up funny and slurped up the fish. Malik loved it. Montie was a little nervous to do it, so she gave her fish to Malik who happily fed another sting ray. The boys leaned over touching them and encouraged Montie to do the same. After many attempts (she would reach her hand in then pull it away just as the sting rays would come close) she finally touched one and everybody cheered her on for overcoming her fear. It was neat to watch, and her mom was so proud of her.
We decided to let the kids map out our course and they chose to ride the "train" around the park. We got off at the farm area. We took our time wandering around and the kids dug in the compost pile thinking it was great fun pulling out old banana peels and chunks of celery and bits and pieces of food that was mixed in the dirt. Montie got right in there with the boys and her mom was amazed.
When we got to this part by the raccoons, there was a "cave" that you could walk into to see inside the exhibit. the boys went into the cave. I was standing on the other side of the exhibit to wave to to the kids. There were little round glass windows that let you look from the cave into the raccoon exhibit and you could wave to the people inside the cave. Montie kept looking over to where they were and wanted to go, but seemed hesitant. Lori, Montie's mom, was telling me that Montie doesn't wander out of sight of her mom because she has separation fears. Well, Montie kept eyeballing the boys and decided to follow them. The boys urged her to come to the cave, and were careful to look out for her and to make sure she was near them. Lori started having a panic attack of sorts saying that she gets very anxious when Montie is out of her sight for any length of time. I told her to sit down and just breathe. She looked really nervous but I told her there were only two ways out and we could see both exits so they couldn't really escape. The kids were really only there for about 4 minutes, but it was a good for both Lori and Montie. I have been trying give my kids a little more "rope" if you will, to explore and move farther away from my grasp and sight. It is very hard, but it seemed to be a little easier having someone there who has anxiety worse then me when it comes to watching their children. Ultimately she was fine and said that it was good for her to let Montie explore. After that Montie tagged close by the boys and would wander off with them for a bit.
One of the really great things about this zoo trip was the fact that these guys moved at about the same pace as us. I never felt stressed or up-tight about having to keep up with other kids that zoomed on ahead. Since we were at a relaxed pace, we actually lasted a lot longer at the zoo than we normally do. We were there from 9:00 to 1:00. I was amazed, and felt so relaxed.
At the end I wanted to feed Enok before we drove home. We stopped at the big tree house and off the kids went. I was stuck with a baby stuck on me so couldn't shadow my kids like I normally do. Jarek wandered pretty far; I think he was testing how far he could go before I yelled for him to get closer. I never yelled for him, and I think he enjoyed not being under my thumb. Malik took off without a backward glance and made a friend right away. He was sad to leave his friend but promised to find him the next time we came to the zoo.
The boys were very worn out that afternoon and after our daily reading time I let them play some Nintendo. They wanted to go to bed early so we gave them a bath and put them to bed.
This zoo trip was so enjoyable for me. It really makes a difference going with people who move at the same pace. I didn't feel guilty for my kids being slow, or feel guilty for yelling at my kids to hurry it up. We were relaxed, happy and satisfied. I feel that hanging out with other people who have children with special needs really gives me an opportunity to share something in common. It is amazing to see the dedication and strength that other mothers have and the special, deep love that extends beyond their own child to others around them. It is amazing to have these boys in my life. They have opened up my heart and understanding to people and circumstances I may never have met/had before. God knows what he is doing, of that I am sure.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
my class today
I am at the Junior High, I am subbing in the ISR class, (in school restriction). I have 2 boys today. one is here for having an IPOD and a lazer pointer in his backpack. he says it fell out. 2 days in here for that. silly. the other was suspended all last week for a fight. he is in here today to catch up on his work. he is nice. now I have a boy who just came in for 4th period because he isn't trusted in the lunch room. he is pretending he is the teacher and talking to the other boys. this is the easiest job. I love it!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Christmas
Anyone know what we are doing for Christmas? hee hee. I know it is early, but dad and I have 2 frequent flyer tickets that if we plan early enough, we can use. are we going out to UT or Phoenix, or are people coming here? or do we need to discuss it on our desert trip? I love making fun plans!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Take time to slow down
Life has been hectic, but we all need to remember to take time to slow down and consider what is important in life. In the end it is not money, career, toys, or fun. It is family. I am grateful we are close as a family and stay in touch - even when the blog is empty for a few days.
Jacob Webb and Millie have been here and that has been fun. Though much of our time has been spent watching basketball - we did go swimming yesterday. Yes, on March 17 we swam in our pool. It was nearly 100 degrees, so it seemed the right thing to do. The water was around 70, so not too bad. I think this is the earliest we have ever swam. Meanwhile I know mom and pops in NY were sitting in over a foot of snow. That is why I like AZ.
A few things from the last few days. Have you noticed how much my geni.com family tree has grown? Wow. Pretty cool. I've noticed Cari's family has caught on now. Cool! We watched Casino Royale last night with pretty high expectations. Tevia fell asleep and I must say it didn't meet my expectations. It didn't seem very Bond-like. I know this was supposed to be the first, etc., but I didn't need a whole movie with a thin plot to understand why Bond is a womanizer. And it was well over 2 hours! And the Bond girls weren't that hot. And this new Bond sometimes looked really buff and good - but other times he looked like an ugly old man. I think I recall Jake Wall saying he loved this, but I will pass and agree more with mom. Maybe we were expecting too much. I am pretty sure I will take last place in the March Madness tournament. I am terrible at picking. But it is always fun. Hasn't been as fun a tournament as last year, but still good. The overtime games yesterday (or was it Friday?) were great.
Jacob Webb and Millie have been here and that has been fun. Though much of our time has been spent watching basketball - we did go swimming yesterday. Yes, on March 17 we swam in our pool. It was nearly 100 degrees, so it seemed the right thing to do. The water was around 70, so not too bad. I think this is the earliest we have ever swam. Meanwhile I know mom and pops in NY were sitting in over a foot of snow. That is why I like AZ.
A few things from the last few days. Have you noticed how much my geni.com family tree has grown? Wow. Pretty cool. I've noticed Cari's family has caught on now. Cool! We watched Casino Royale last night with pretty high expectations. Tevia fell asleep and I must say it didn't meet my expectations. It didn't seem very Bond-like. I know this was supposed to be the first, etc., but I didn't need a whole movie with a thin plot to understand why Bond is a womanizer. And it was well over 2 hours! And the Bond girls weren't that hot. And this new Bond sometimes looked really buff and good - but other times he looked like an ugly old man. I think I recall Jake Wall saying he loved this, but I will pass and agree more with mom. Maybe we were expecting too much. I am pretty sure I will take last place in the March Madness tournament. I am terrible at picking. But it is always fun. Hasn't been as fun a tournament as last year, but still good. The overtime games yesterday (or was it Friday?) were great.
Friday, March 16, 2007
special ed
I love my job! I worked in 7th grade at VanWYck Jr high yesterday, a self-contained sp ed class. the kids were just great! I love being able to actually help someone. a tall, thin Jamaican boy put his head down as soon as the math teacher started the new concept of scales, ratios, etc. I could tell he already felt overwhelmed by the long explanation. I went over to him and showed him how to set up the equation and do cross multiplying. he said that was easy, and he did a few more. he felt so good about himself. later, his class went down to help at a bake sale, and he didn't want to go. the teacher asked if I would stay with him and he could do homework. we talked the whole period! here are some of his responses: he says he is on the school Basketball team, yet, he didn't seem to know when they played or who. he loves b ball, and plans to make it to the pros. he watches college ball, so we discussed March madness, which term he never heard. he said his brother is on a college team, and when I asked the name of the college, he said he didn't know, but that is was somewhere in poughkeepsie. he told me of brothers and sisters gallore, so when I asked who he was living with now, he said his real mom was in Jamaica, and he lived with his pops, and his real dad was around in Brooklyn, and that his family was all mixed up, as he put it. he was so sweet and darling and we got to work together the next period also. I just wanted to bring him home to join the church and get him on a basketball team and help him do his homework and just give him what all you kids got. but alas, I can't change the world, and we need people like him. I told him not to get caught up in drugs, and to pass his classes. he said he would. I had another boy who limped and had a major physical facial problem, and he was so smart! then I had a boy who couldn't write, so he would scribble on his paper, and a one-on -one teacher took all his notes for him. when he had to do written class work, he used the computer. he was also so sweet. I just have a soft spot for these kids who have to work harder and over come many obstacles to just do regular school work.
another snow day today! there isn't a flake in the sky, at 8 am, but a noreaster is on its way, supposedly. :)
everything is closed.
Webbs, have fun in AZ! Hope to see you when we are in UT!
another snow day today! there isn't a flake in the sky, at 8 am, but a noreaster is on its way, supposedly. :)
everything is closed.
Webbs, have fun in AZ! Hope to see you when we are in UT!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Imagini VisualDNA
Imagini VisualDNA
This was a fun little test. Try it out by clicking on the picture that matches the words on top. Mine was pretty accurate.
This was a fun little test. Try it out by clicking on the picture that matches the words on top. Mine was pretty accurate.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Essential
Okay so i havent been able to get on the computer for quite some time because well, recently my back and before that school was just nuts. so i never got the chance to blog about california. So tonight im gonna suck it up. i put a pillow beind my back and im gonna type as long as i can.
California was alot of words put into one. But the word that i think describes it the most is essential. A pretty strong word but in my opinion perfect for the job. On this trip me and jimmy delt with a lot of different things and saw eachother in a totally different light. This led to castrophe the first couple days. However, we were troopers and endured some hard things and ended up having a magnificent trip... but let me start you off from the beginning.
So i am so excited to go on my trip to cali for 2 big reasons! 1) i was going to see my boyfriend who i missed so much and 2) i was going to see california which all of you know, is a place that i have wanted to visit for like 10 years. The morning went amazing. My hair worked with me, my makeup looked good, the weather wasnt that cold, and jacob and me got to the airport on time. After giving him a goodbye hug, i even went and bought my favorite drink from star bucks, a vanilla cream which was great and a blueberry scone which i highly reccomend you guys to never get. Then, on the plane i got to sit next to a young couple with a 1 year old boy so i was in heaven. He was so cute and in the first couple minutes we became friends. Then i landed! i got my suitcase and went outside to walk across the street to the USO, a military place where military people can stay and relax while waiting to go somewhere. The weather was amazing and i had the biggest smile on my face. I was in LA! i felt so grown up and im not gonna lie, i felt pretty cool too. When i got to the USO i walked in and the people looked at me as if i was an alien from another universe. I guess its really intended strictly for military people and well it was obvious i clearly was not. But i told them that my bf had called earlier to ask if i could stay there while waiting for the bus and they immediately went from looking at me like an alien to a princess. They were SO nice. But still complication still took place. We quickly found out that Jimmy had gotten the times wrong for the busses going to Palm Springs and that the only way to get there was a greyhound bus that left at 630. It was a mess because 1) the man there told me i couldnt go on it alone and 2) even if i did go on it i still didnt have a ride to 29 palms because the military shuttle that went from there to 29 palms stopped running at 5. To make a long story short, eventually Jimmy was able to get hold of a travel lady with a husband in the military to help us out and she said that she would have her daughter and boyfriend drive down with Jimmy to pick me up. It was a long day and i was pretty mad at jimmy because i honestly thought i was homeless and thats not how you should feel when you go on a vacation alone by yourself. Anyways the bus was nuts but this angel, i dont even know her name, stayed with me the whole time and made me feel so safe. She was in her 30s i think and a mom of 6 kids, with 3 different dads. I felt so bad for her but she was actually surprisingly upbeat and sweet even though you could tell she was so lonely. Anyways i finally got to Palm Springs and met jimmy there who had pink roses, not that i cared though because i was too mad... i have a stubborn problem.
The next two days kinda went like the 1st... crazy and completely unplanned but they were essential because it lef to us having a huge and serious talk. Both of us learned things about each other and ourselves that we didnt know. I wont go into detail but we were tried with many trials and came out on top and if it werent for this trip we would still be completely unaware of important things... things we both need to work on, things that scare us both, and things that we need help with. Also church on Sunday was absolutely amazing and essential for i wanna say just jimmy but it helped me in countless ways as well because i got to see jimmys eyes light up as he watched the other boys prepare the sacrement and a tear stroll down his cheek as we took it. You could tell he felt so at home. We went to a singles branch if you didnt hear about it. It had about 10-15 kids around our age...almost all of them marines and half of them converts just like jimmy but you could tell that they truely wanted to be there and truely loved the gospel and each other. They were all so kind too especially the adults. This one couple, the Redfords, came up to us and gave us big welcome hugs and offered to have us for lunch after church. It was amazing to see how nice people are and i was so grateful that jimmy was able to see the kindness that they offered us because it was such a testimony strengthener. After church we actually did go over to the Redfords and not only did we get lunch but a ride to the airport for me on tuesday morning at 4! Talk about being generous! Later we read scriptures too and both of our tesimonies increased 10-fold. Jimmy is now reading the book of mormon everyday and loves it. I will never forget that Sunday.
So the trip turned out to be amazing and essential to keeping us alive i think because we became alot closer and became more of a team. I have to work on certain traits as does he but we are and we are helping eachother and they are things we can both change. The trip was also fun! omgsh! being in love and in california is pretty awesome! just holding hands everywhere was so nice. Especially in Joshua Tree National Park which was gorgeous just to let you know. We went to Palm springs too one night and it was also incredible. It was so pretty and like 85 degrees at like 9 at night. It was so fun to walk around with Jimmy and i felt so good because we were with this other couple (the one that picked me up from the bus station) and the guy didnt pay for the girl for dinner or when we went for jamba juice and he didnt hold the door or anything particularly sweet and jimmy did all of that and would ask me constantly if i was cold, hott, or needed anything. He really is such a sweetheart.
So maybe this trip was not essential to my well being or okay even our relationship but it was definitely a building block and i am SOOO glad i went!
Anyways just a tad bit more info... jimmy got stationed to HAWAII!! thats right! thats where he is going to be living for the next 3 years as a marine except when he gets deployed. Were actually really happy. We'll find out more information on it later but im so excited. if we get married i could just be living in Hawaii for a year of two of my life! pretty cool!
Also Bret and Tev, this is more for you... last sunday i fasted and prayed about my decision about where i should live this summer which turned out to be new york after all and got a very strong confirmation during a testimony that this one guy bore about his friends. I felt so strong that i shouldnt run from my friends but go there and be a better example than i ever have before and really show them who i am and what this religion stands for. Also i have a very strong feeling that i should be with mom this summer. I know without doubt that this is what i should do. I am so grateful though for you guys being so open about me staying there and know that it would have been a blast! I am so lucky to even have these choices. I love you guys so much and am sorry that i wont be living there.
k well thats the end =)
California was alot of words put into one. But the word that i think describes it the most is essential. A pretty strong word but in my opinion perfect for the job. On this trip me and jimmy delt with a lot of different things and saw eachother in a totally different light. This led to castrophe the first couple days. However, we were troopers and endured some hard things and ended up having a magnificent trip... but let me start you off from the beginning.
So i am so excited to go on my trip to cali for 2 big reasons! 1) i was going to see my boyfriend who i missed so much and 2) i was going to see california which all of you know, is a place that i have wanted to visit for like 10 years. The morning went amazing. My hair worked with me, my makeup looked good, the weather wasnt that cold, and jacob and me got to the airport on time. After giving him a goodbye hug, i even went and bought my favorite drink from star bucks, a vanilla cream which was great and a blueberry scone which i highly reccomend you guys to never get. Then, on the plane i got to sit next to a young couple with a 1 year old boy so i was in heaven. He was so cute and in the first couple minutes we became friends. Then i landed! i got my suitcase and went outside to walk across the street to the USO, a military place where military people can stay and relax while waiting to go somewhere. The weather was amazing and i had the biggest smile on my face. I was in LA! i felt so grown up and im not gonna lie, i felt pretty cool too. When i got to the USO i walked in and the people looked at me as if i was an alien from another universe. I guess its really intended strictly for military people and well it was obvious i clearly was not. But i told them that my bf had called earlier to ask if i could stay there while waiting for the bus and they immediately went from looking at me like an alien to a princess. They were SO nice. But still complication still took place. We quickly found out that Jimmy had gotten the times wrong for the busses going to Palm Springs and that the only way to get there was a greyhound bus that left at 630. It was a mess because 1) the man there told me i couldnt go on it alone and 2) even if i did go on it i still didnt have a ride to 29 palms because the military shuttle that went from there to 29 palms stopped running at 5. To make a long story short, eventually Jimmy was able to get hold of a travel lady with a husband in the military to help us out and she said that she would have her daughter and boyfriend drive down with Jimmy to pick me up. It was a long day and i was pretty mad at jimmy because i honestly thought i was homeless and thats not how you should feel when you go on a vacation alone by yourself. Anyways the bus was nuts but this angel, i dont even know her name, stayed with me the whole time and made me feel so safe. She was in her 30s i think and a mom of 6 kids, with 3 different dads. I felt so bad for her but she was actually surprisingly upbeat and sweet even though you could tell she was so lonely. Anyways i finally got to Palm Springs and met jimmy there who had pink roses, not that i cared though because i was too mad... i have a stubborn problem.
The next two days kinda went like the 1st... crazy and completely unplanned but they were essential because it lef to us having a huge and serious talk. Both of us learned things about each other and ourselves that we didnt know. I wont go into detail but we were tried with many trials and came out on top and if it werent for this trip we would still be completely unaware of important things... things we both need to work on, things that scare us both, and things that we need help with. Also church on Sunday was absolutely amazing and essential for i wanna say just jimmy but it helped me in countless ways as well because i got to see jimmys eyes light up as he watched the other boys prepare the sacrement and a tear stroll down his cheek as we took it. You could tell he felt so at home. We went to a singles branch if you didnt hear about it. It had about 10-15 kids around our age...almost all of them marines and half of them converts just like jimmy but you could tell that they truely wanted to be there and truely loved the gospel and each other. They were all so kind too especially the adults. This one couple, the Redfords, came up to us and gave us big welcome hugs and offered to have us for lunch after church. It was amazing to see how nice people are and i was so grateful that jimmy was able to see the kindness that they offered us because it was such a testimony strengthener. After church we actually did go over to the Redfords and not only did we get lunch but a ride to the airport for me on tuesday morning at 4! Talk about being generous! Later we read scriptures too and both of our tesimonies increased 10-fold. Jimmy is now reading the book of mormon everyday and loves it. I will never forget that Sunday.
So the trip turned out to be amazing and essential to keeping us alive i think because we became alot closer and became more of a team. I have to work on certain traits as does he but we are and we are helping eachother and they are things we can both change. The trip was also fun! omgsh! being in love and in california is pretty awesome! just holding hands everywhere was so nice. Especially in Joshua Tree National Park which was gorgeous just to let you know. We went to Palm springs too one night and it was also incredible. It was so pretty and like 85 degrees at like 9 at night. It was so fun to walk around with Jimmy and i felt so good because we were with this other couple (the one that picked me up from the bus station) and the guy didnt pay for the girl for dinner or when we went for jamba juice and he didnt hold the door or anything particularly sweet and jimmy did all of that and would ask me constantly if i was cold, hott, or needed anything. He really is such a sweetheart.
So maybe this trip was not essential to my well being or okay even our relationship but it was definitely a building block and i am SOOO glad i went!
Anyways just a tad bit more info... jimmy got stationed to HAWAII!! thats right! thats where he is going to be living for the next 3 years as a marine except when he gets deployed. Were actually really happy. We'll find out more information on it later but im so excited. if we get married i could just be living in Hawaii for a year of two of my life! pretty cool!
Also Bret and Tev, this is more for you... last sunday i fasted and prayed about my decision about where i should live this summer which turned out to be new york after all and got a very strong confirmation during a testimony that this one guy bore about his friends. I felt so strong that i shouldnt run from my friends but go there and be a better example than i ever have before and really show them who i am and what this religion stands for. Also i have a very strong feeling that i should be with mom this summer. I know without doubt that this is what i should do. I am so grateful though for you guys being so open about me staying there and know that it would have been a blast! I am so lucky to even have these choices. I love you guys so much and am sorry that i wont be living there.
k well thats the end =)
Fridays are bliss
There is a reason TGIF is so well known. Though I don't use that terminology as it insinuates a word that I don't typically use, I do love Fridays. Fridays for me start at 5:15AM as I get up and dressed for basketball. I drive the few miles up to our stake center and play some ball for a good hour or so. This morning was great as I made up for a terrible night on Wednesday and hit just about every shot I took. Three pointers and reverse layups were going in and made me feel great.
I then go home, shower, eat some cereal and take Jarek to school. I take him to school most days (even though we only live a few hundred yards from school - that's another blog subject!) and drop him off with an "I love you" and wink. Then I drive to work.
Work is a good 30 minutes on a normal day. Today my calendar was fairly open at work. I only had a couple of meetings. One was for a project I am on to update our website/portal for our customers. I am excited about the project as it currently is teh suck. The other was to sign off on some requirements for our CRM project.
The rest of the day I spent dealing with my emails. I got an urgent call from one of our Sr VPs this morning asking me to review some RFP details as I now appear to be the Subject Matter Expert (SME) for international. At the end of the day it is good to feel that you are so needed. It is always nice to know deep down that nobody could possibly bring as much value to my company in my role as I do. They are lucky to have me. But today I enjoyed work. Those days, unfortunately, are not as often as they used to be. I did have a good talk with my old boss and my new boss today. But the highlight of the day was a gift (swag) I received from Citibank - one of our vendor partners. I got a cool laser pointer keychain. I loved it! I felt like I was on "The Office" as I annoyed people all day by shining a red light on them or around them. I'm easy to please. I usually hate swag.
Then I drove home after a good talk with some of my employees about how Americans are lame and don't understand how good they have things. Tevia wasn't home as she is out with the boys so I made a great sandwich with avocado, ham, cheese and lettuce on my favorite white bread and ate outside to watch my birds. The hummingbirds have found my new feeder - and it appears to be living up to its name as the best feeder out there. So I thought I'd fill you in on a day in the life of BW and let you know that life is wonderful.
I then go home, shower, eat some cereal and take Jarek to school. I take him to school most days (even though we only live a few hundred yards from school - that's another blog subject!) and drop him off with an "I love you" and wink. Then I drive to work.
Work is a good 30 minutes on a normal day. Today my calendar was fairly open at work. I only had a couple of meetings. One was for a project I am on to update our website/portal for our customers. I am excited about the project as it currently is teh suck. The other was to sign off on some requirements for our CRM project.
The rest of the day I spent dealing with my emails. I got an urgent call from one of our Sr VPs this morning asking me to review some RFP details as I now appear to be the Subject Matter Expert (SME) for international. At the end of the day it is good to feel that you are so needed. It is always nice to know deep down that nobody could possibly bring as much value to my company in my role as I do. They are lucky to have me. But today I enjoyed work. Those days, unfortunately, are not as often as they used to be. I did have a good talk with my old boss and my new boss today. But the highlight of the day was a gift (swag) I received from Citibank - one of our vendor partners. I got a cool laser pointer keychain. I loved it! I felt like I was on "The Office" as I annoyed people all day by shining a red light on them or around them. I'm easy to please. I usually hate swag.
Then I drove home after a good talk with some of my employees about how Americans are lame and don't understand how good they have things. Tevia wasn't home as she is out with the boys so I made a great sandwich with avocado, ham, cheese and lettuce on my favorite white bread and ate outside to watch my birds. The hummingbirds have found my new feeder - and it appears to be living up to its name as the best feeder out there. So I thought I'd fill you in on a day in the life of BW and let you know that life is wonderful.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
March Madness 2007
The best time of the year is coming up. I have sent most of you an invite (Millie - I didn't have your email in my contacts). Sign up for fun. You can invite a few people - but I'd like to keep it close to family so we can trash talk more. Kathy - feel free to invite Jimmy. The group is:
Wall & Co. (Group ID# 59313)
Password: dukesucks
Good luck to all. Go BYU!
Wall & Co. (Group ID# 59313)
Password: dukesucks
Good luck to all. Go BYU!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
New rule for me
So, I have decided that I am giving myself a new rule. Here is what inspired my new rule. I have been having a lot of stress lately due mostly to the fact that I have been frustrated and felt very under qualified in how best to raise, discipline and show love to Malik. He is so very, very different from Jarek in so many ways that not many of the things I have heretofore used on Jarek works well on Malik. It is not that I don't love this child, I love him so much that sometimes my heart breaks on account of getting so grumpy at him on a regular basis. So, I got to a breaking point and figured the best way to help would be to solicit advice from one much smarter than me, namely, God, and to be better at doing the things I have been slacking off on, like reading my scriptures. I know that many people of this day and age would run quickly to the nearest shrink or bookstore for all the combined wisdom of the world, but I sought a higher and more qualified person for advice.
Okay, this may seem like a total no-brainer to many of you, but here is what I have concluded for now. I realized that I was not spending very much, if any, QUALITY time with Malik. I knew I was spending time with him because, heck, we live in the same house and he drives around in the car with me and we eat breakfast and dinner together, that is a lot of time together, right???
Wrong. I know he has really been shafted on quality time since Enok was born and I just thought we was doing hunky-dory since he hadn't "reverted" back to wetting his pants, or hitting Enok, or any of the things I thought were typical behavior for a child to have when a new baby arrived. Well, it seems that Malik really needs the one on one time with me. He gets frustrated because I spend time reading to Jarek out of the books he is reading (which Malik isn't that interested in) or helping Jarek with his homework, etc... And then I spend ample time with Enok feeding him and playing with him and trying to nurture him. So little Malik keeps getting left out and is therefore acting in ways that will get my attention, albeit he does things that get my bad attention.
Okay, so what is my new rule? I am not allowed to turn the computer on until I have spent an hour with Malik in the morning. Generally this time is spent after I put Enok down for his nap, so it is truly one on one time. We read, or we will play in the playroom or whatever he wants. I get too distracted at the computer and waste a lot of time on it. I know there is a lot of time I am going to have to account for that was wasted because of this technology. Anyhow, so far this has seemed to have made somewhat of a difference. I haven't yelled at him or felt annoyed or angry at him for two whole days. I was getting to the point where I couldn't even look at him without feeling frustrated, and I know he was feeling it, and Bret could see it so easily. I am not one that can hide my feelings very well.
Anyhow, this is a good step, and I know it seems stupid that it would take so long to figure this out. I know I am still going to have to adjust my parenting style with him, and I am going to have to involve prayer a lot lot more than I have up to this point. I always pray for my children, but now I am really focusing on how I can be the best parent for him as an individual. It is hard work to be a mother. You have so much love and concern for your offspring, and when they choose paths that don't seem like they will bring the most happiness, your heart aches and you just want to force them to do what you want them to do, but you know you can't do this, so you rely on the spirit and those around you for love and support and just pray, pray, pray. I know Malik is a good kid with a good heart, he is just a lot like me, stubborn and wants things his way, so we butt heads an awful lot. I am going to have to give ground on things that aren't going to affect his eternal salvation and focus only on the things that really matter. It is hard, but it will be worth it in the end if I have faith.
Okay, this may seem like a total no-brainer to many of you, but here is what I have concluded for now. I realized that I was not spending very much, if any, QUALITY time with Malik. I knew I was spending time with him because, heck, we live in the same house and he drives around in the car with me and we eat breakfast and dinner together, that is a lot of time together, right???
Wrong. I know he has really been shafted on quality time since Enok was born and I just thought we was doing hunky-dory since he hadn't "reverted" back to wetting his pants, or hitting Enok, or any of the things I thought were typical behavior for a child to have when a new baby arrived. Well, it seems that Malik really needs the one on one time with me. He gets frustrated because I spend time reading to Jarek out of the books he is reading (which Malik isn't that interested in) or helping Jarek with his homework, etc... And then I spend ample time with Enok feeding him and playing with him and trying to nurture him. So little Malik keeps getting left out and is therefore acting in ways that will get my attention, albeit he does things that get my bad attention.
Okay, so what is my new rule? I am not allowed to turn the computer on until I have spent an hour with Malik in the morning. Generally this time is spent after I put Enok down for his nap, so it is truly one on one time. We read, or we will play in the playroom or whatever he wants. I get too distracted at the computer and waste a lot of time on it. I know there is a lot of time I am going to have to account for that was wasted because of this technology. Anyhow, so far this has seemed to have made somewhat of a difference. I haven't yelled at him or felt annoyed or angry at him for two whole days. I was getting to the point where I couldn't even look at him without feeling frustrated, and I know he was feeling it, and Bret could see it so easily. I am not one that can hide my feelings very well.
Anyhow, this is a good step, and I know it seems stupid that it would take so long to figure this out. I know I am still going to have to adjust my parenting style with him, and I am going to have to involve prayer a lot lot more than I have up to this point. I always pray for my children, but now I am really focusing on how I can be the best parent for him as an individual. It is hard work to be a mother. You have so much love and concern for your offspring, and when they choose paths that don't seem like they will bring the most happiness, your heart aches and you just want to force them to do what you want them to do, but you know you can't do this, so you rely on the spirit and those around you for love and support and just pray, pray, pray. I know Malik is a good kid with a good heart, he is just a lot like me, stubborn and wants things his way, so we butt heads an awful lot. I am going to have to give ground on things that aren't going to affect his eternal salvation and focus only on the things that really matter. It is hard, but it will be worth it in the end if I have faith.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
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