This past week or so I've been involved in quite a bit discussion about, and with, old friends (from high school and whatnot). I have a friend here in my ward who is from Cali. Her name is Jamie (yes Tevs, I've told you about her), and she is VERY attached and close to her friends from her high school. She's from a small town in Northern California called Lakeport. She and I have had a number of conversations about how she can't understand why I'm not really close to anyone I went to school with, and I can't understand why she can't live in the present. She's actually expressed that she wishes sometimes that she could call Provo "home" like me. Not that I want to live here... but that "home is where the rump rests." She says she wants to move on and live in the present but doesn't know how. Not that she wants to cut her ties with her old friends completely, but she wants to be able to more fully enjoy the new relationships she has the chance to make here and now. Also, she has a "boyfriend" that she's dated for the past 4 years up until this last summer. They "broke up" because he's not a member and other than that she sees him pretty much as the perfect guy. So now, although she wants to move on, she is basically completely under this guy's spell.
Also, Christina Metcalf, a girl I went to school with who now lives in Tucson, and I have recently got back in touch with each other and have talked on IM quite a bit. She and I were always good friends through school but never dated. We still wouldn't given the chance, but I consider us good friends. She was talking the other day about our old classmates, most of whom she still keeps close contact with. She said she's been disappointed with many of them because of who they've become, and pleasantly surprised at other for the same reason... However, she herself doesn't feel as though she's changed at all since high school. I can't help but think that's in part because it's somewhat true.
Just like Jamie, (although maybe not to the same degree) Christina has never moved on from high school or given themselves the chance to grow up and become who they need or want to. This said, I'm actually glad I have had the chance, (and took it) to get out of my home town and live... even if not to the fullest extent that I sometimes would like to due to the cost... but all in all like my new friends and the ever evolving new me. I still really love and care about just about everyone from my past... after all, they all contributed in one way or another to who I am now... but I think more than anything, my friends now are those that are helping me become who I want to become.
I don't think one must completely abandon past relationships to make new ones, but I think the person that can't let go (even just enough to make new relationships) is at such a disadvantage in life... What a big and exciting world we live in... filled with so many people to meet and things to do and see!!! I plan on filling my life with all the new I can while I can. However, due to recent events, I've also realized that I could (and probably should) find a little more room in my life for those from my past... just because I've been able to move on without looking back or thinking twice about a lot of things or people (mostly for my own sanity and protection) I've realized there are people from my past that are still good friends and who could benefit from me and me from them.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Annual Meetings
Does it seem like a long time since I posted something? Well, it should. This week was a hectic week as it was our company's annual team forum, and so I had meetings from 8 AM to 9 PM at night most days. I actually skipped dinner on Wednesday and Thursday, but even with those little bits of time, I had little time to go online and even less time to dedicate to my real job and my family. Weeks like this make me happy that I am not an executive - yet. Meeting after meeting takes a lot out of you, and in the end takes away from your family. Sure, dinners can be glamorous, fun, and calorie-fests, but in the end you will just end up fat and single. I am grateful my family puts up with this once every few months. They are great.
On Friday I was asked by one of our top salesmen to go to Pittsburgh for a presentation to Heinz - yes, the ketchup company. So I think I'll be flying out on Tuesday and come back on Thursday. This is not the ideal time to go to Pittsburgh, but then, is there ever?
We had another double-header for our ward basketball team. I can't remember if I have written much about our team, but it has opened my eyes to how important teamwork is and how much I can't stand losing. I believe of our 10 or so games we have won 2. This week we managed to lose both games to teams that in all honesty were not better than us. Our team meshes about as well as milk and orange juice (but not nearly as nice as Orange Julius!). Tevia actually came to watch and upon leaving commented that our team "really sucks." For me, it has become like half court basketball. In half court basketball, I have difficulty being "motivated," since there is not a lot of movement and, for me, turns into a 3 point shooting match. My drive and competetiveness weakens and I am not into it. The same happens in these games. When I see my team not competing, or even trying, it makes me not try as hard. I'll play defense and pass, but I shoot less and when I shoot I am short as I am not jumping. I feel bad because this team needs my scoring. But it is hard. This week I scored 13 in the first half, but we were down by 20 at halftime. Some of our players have no idea how to play defense, and a few don't even make it down the court to defend. And this is a team with 14 players! Each week it is the same. Kipp, my good friend, and I question if we should go. We love basketball, so in the end we go. We play and get frustrated. We lose and come home ticked off. We decide not to go back, since after all we have 14 players. But in the end we go back. I guess I feel like one of those women who keeps going back to that scumbag, because in the end, she still loves him. I guess I have developed more simpathy.
We rented the movie "Shall We Dance" this week. It has Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon and Jennifer Lopez. I really do not like Mr. Gere, but anything with J-Lo is tempting. In the end I really enjoyed this movie. The underlying story and theme was so touching and deep - and moral! So different than most movies that Hollywoood puts out. It was very honest and true. Plus J-Lo is in it. :-)
Yesterday was Malik's birthday. He opened presents and we had Dairy Queen cake. It is hard to believe he is 3. Tomorrow is Tevia's birthday. I sometimes feel bad as we are not really into birthdays. We don't really have parties and the presents are never amazing. I wonder if we need to be more into it, or if this is the better way to avoid all of the commercialism and worldly nature of it. We just all keep getting older - and sometimes it's best to quietly acknowledge and move on.
On Friday I was asked by one of our top salesmen to go to Pittsburgh for a presentation to Heinz - yes, the ketchup company. So I think I'll be flying out on Tuesday and come back on Thursday. This is not the ideal time to go to Pittsburgh, but then, is there ever?
We had another double-header for our ward basketball team. I can't remember if I have written much about our team, but it has opened my eyes to how important teamwork is and how much I can't stand losing. I believe of our 10 or so games we have won 2. This week we managed to lose both games to teams that in all honesty were not better than us. Our team meshes about as well as milk and orange juice (but not nearly as nice as Orange Julius!). Tevia actually came to watch and upon leaving commented that our team "really sucks." For me, it has become like half court basketball. In half court basketball, I have difficulty being "motivated," since there is not a lot of movement and, for me, turns into a 3 point shooting match. My drive and competetiveness weakens and I am not into it. The same happens in these games. When I see my team not competing, or even trying, it makes me not try as hard. I'll play defense and pass, but I shoot less and when I shoot I am short as I am not jumping. I feel bad because this team needs my scoring. But it is hard. This week I scored 13 in the first half, but we were down by 20 at halftime. Some of our players have no idea how to play defense, and a few don't even make it down the court to defend. And this is a team with 14 players! Each week it is the same. Kipp, my good friend, and I question if we should go. We love basketball, so in the end we go. We play and get frustrated. We lose and come home ticked off. We decide not to go back, since after all we have 14 players. But in the end we go back. I guess I feel like one of those women who keeps going back to that scumbag, because in the end, she still loves him. I guess I have developed more simpathy.
We rented the movie "Shall We Dance" this week. It has Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon and Jennifer Lopez. I really do not like Mr. Gere, but anything with J-Lo is tempting. In the end I really enjoyed this movie. The underlying story and theme was so touching and deep - and moral! So different than most movies that Hollywoood puts out. It was very honest and true. Plus J-Lo is in it. :-)
Yesterday was Malik's birthday. He opened presents and we had Dairy Queen cake. It is hard to believe he is 3. Tomorrow is Tevia's birthday. I sometimes feel bad as we are not really into birthdays. We don't really have parties and the presents are never amazing. I wonder if we need to be more into it, or if this is the better way to avoid all of the commercialism and worldly nature of it. We just all keep getting older - and sometimes it's best to quietly acknowledge and move on.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
birthdays
happy happy birthday to Malik and Tevia. this blog is especially created for the guys in our lives who may not remember such things! Tevs, you are the best! I don't know what I did without you in my life. I appreciate all you stand for, all of your creativity and spark, and your intelligence and fun. I love the way you raise the boys. and my darling Malik- hope you look great in your new clothes! Bret liked to pick out his own clothes at age 3, and he always did and stil looks fabulous. so both of you blow out those candles and celebrate- another great year is about to happen! love, mom
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Disneyland!
Hey Everyone!
I don't want to rub it in or anything, but I just wanted to tell about my weekend at Disneyland! It was a blast. We went in a group of 9 of us from here in Provo. My roommate is from Buena Park CA and his younger brother works at Disneyland. So we stayed with his fam and got into the parks (both Disney and Claifornia Adventure) for free, plus we got those new "fast track" passes, so you don't have to wait in line... although we really didn't need them because, thanks to the morning showers the parks weren't that busy. We also got VIP seats for the Fantasmic show Saturday night. Also, Quentin (my brother) and our cousin Johnathan McNeil came for a while, then came to church and dinner with us on Sunday. It was good to see them.
Anyway, about the parks... If you haven't been in a while I recommend making the trip, especially around or after March when all the rides are supposed to be reopened for the 50th annaversary. (Splash Mountain and Space Mountain are under some major changes!) Also, although there has been a lot of talk about how much California Adventure sucks... I have to say it wasn't that bad. Sure it's not Disneyland, and it's not Cedar Point, but as long as you go into it with that in mind, it's a fun place... I Highly recommend doing the "Sorin'" ride, it was pretty cool.
Anyway, I have pix and I'll get those posted as soon as I figure out how... or I may just email them.
I don't want to rub it in or anything, but I just wanted to tell about my weekend at Disneyland! It was a blast. We went in a group of 9 of us from here in Provo. My roommate is from Buena Park CA and his younger brother works at Disneyland. So we stayed with his fam and got into the parks (both Disney and Claifornia Adventure) for free, plus we got those new "fast track" passes, so you don't have to wait in line... although we really didn't need them because, thanks to the morning showers the parks weren't that busy. We also got VIP seats for the Fantasmic show Saturday night. Also, Quentin (my brother) and our cousin Johnathan McNeil came for a while, then came to church and dinner with us on Sunday. It was good to see them.
Anyway, about the parks... If you haven't been in a while I recommend making the trip, especially around or after March when all the rides are supposed to be reopened for the 50th annaversary. (Splash Mountain and Space Mountain are under some major changes!) Also, although there has been a lot of talk about how much California Adventure sucks... I have to say it wasn't that bad. Sure it's not Disneyland, and it's not Cedar Point, but as long as you go into it with that in mind, it's a fun place... I Highly recommend doing the "Sorin'" ride, it was pretty cool.
Anyway, I have pix and I'll get those posted as soon as I figure out how... or I may just email them.
Friday, February 18, 2005
It's all Chinese to me...
We have an employee at my work - Dan Brimhall - who knows Mandarin Chinese. A few weeks ago he offered to teach Chinese (Mandarin) for free to employees interested during lunch breaks. I jumped at the offer, and so about 9 of us go to his classes during lunch twice a week.
I have wanted to learn Chinese for the past few years. It is funny - about three years ago I really wanted to learn Japanese (and still do), but more recently I have been enthralled by Chinese. Whether this be due to the films I love, or what, it has become such a beautiful language to me. So this opportunity has been awesome.
I have been to three sessions now and LOVE it. We have learned surprisingly a lot in just 3 hours. I can say "how are you?" and count and talk about my family. For example (please note that I do not know how to use the TONE symbols, so these words will not have the tonal indications):
Wo xing Wall - means my family name is Wall
Wo jiao Bret - means my given name is Bret
Wo you liang erzi - means I have two sons
Wo you taitai - means I have a wife
The grammar is really cool in Chinese. It is very basic and simple. For example, "ta" means he or she - and it also means his or her. To say "they" you just pluralize it, which is "ta men." I look forward to each class and hope that eventually we can get into characters.
Learning languages is so cool. Now one of our French employees is going to do French classes. So I'm signing up for them, too! Learning a language makes me feel so sympathetic. It helps me feel like I am learning about others as well as the language. I think learning a language is so important. I am very lucky to have this opportunity at my work.
I have wanted to learn Chinese for the past few years. It is funny - about three years ago I really wanted to learn Japanese (and still do), but more recently I have been enthralled by Chinese. Whether this be due to the films I love, or what, it has become such a beautiful language to me. So this opportunity has been awesome.
I have been to three sessions now and LOVE it. We have learned surprisingly a lot in just 3 hours. I can say "how are you?" and count and talk about my family. For example (please note that I do not know how to use the TONE symbols, so these words will not have the tonal indications):
Wo xing Wall - means my family name is Wall
Wo jiao Bret - means my given name is Bret
Wo you liang erzi - means I have two sons
Wo you taitai - means I have a wife
The grammar is really cool in Chinese. It is very basic and simple. For example, "ta" means he or she - and it also means his or her. To say "they" you just pluralize it, which is "ta men." I look forward to each class and hope that eventually we can get into characters.
Learning languages is so cool. Now one of our French employees is going to do French classes. So I'm signing up for them, too! Learning a language makes me feel so sympathetic. It helps me feel like I am learning about others as well as the language. I think learning a language is so important. I am very lucky to have this opportunity at my work.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
AP classes, advice for Tom
Tom is signing up for next year, (junior year) classes. any advice on how important it is to take or not take AP classes, and which calculus to take. (A? or BC) he wants to challenge himself. he now knows he is smart, and wants to excel next year in order to have an easy senior year. he is thinking of AP spanish, english, american history, whatever follows chem, and calculus. hard schedule? is it worth it?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Get Motivated - and Valentine's Day
Today I was able to go to a seminar with a few other people from work called "Get Motivated." Though I don't particulary think I need motivation, I was happy to go with my coworkers down to America West Arena (Go Suns!) for the whole day event. We were able to "weasel" some VIP tickets, so we actually were sitting on the floor about 10 yards from the stage. The speakers consisted of people like: Zig Ziggler, Jerry Lewis, Joe Montana, General Tommy Franks (led troops into Afghanistan, Iraq), Rudy Giulianni, and other business/motivation gurus.
It was a good event. If I were to describe it, I would describe it as a mix between a Republican National Convention, a Christian Revival, one of those meetings you go to where they try to sell you a timeshare, and American Idol. I know that seems weird, but it is a good portrayal. I must admit that I was surprised by the amount of religion they brought into the seminar. I'm not sure if other ticket buyers (Prudential purchased mine) were aware they were going to be told multiple times about Jesus Christ and his power to redeem us, but I sure wasn't. In a way it was a very pleasant surprise, as it made me happy to know that certainly the thousands of people in the arenas around the country are hearing this very good and true message: Jesus will make us happy. Yet I can't help but think that many people were quite turned off by the religious undertones. At one point one of the speakers who really was quite open about Jesus, offered the crowd the opportunity to fill out a form to get a free CD with his "testimony" (what I would call it) and the opportunity to ask for representatives of Christ to visit you and your family. Sound familiar? I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of a Mormon motivational seminar with Steve Covey, Steve Young, the CEO of Dell Computers, and other Mormon leaders - with the missionaries seated outside in the halls of the basketball arenas around the country. Hey, if people are willing to pay for this seminar, why not that one?
The other thing that made me think was to see how people act in such large groups. I am not one easily swayed by groupthink or groups, but most people certainly are. A few of the speakers were pushing products. One speaker, who discussed how we can all get rich using the stock market - as long as we have the right tools - was a fun and interesting speaker. At the end he was able to give us a huge discount on his tools and seminar, which usually sell for over $3,000. For merely $500 you could get the DVDs, website access, and attend the seminar with 100% money back guarantee for satisfaction. After his talk, seriously, I bet 25% of the people signed up. 8 of the 20 in my group did! And this talk came right after a great talk about how money DOES NOT bring happiness. A similar thing happened in the afternoon session with a Real Estate millionaire. I didn't buy anything. I even tried to avoid buying the high priced food at AWA, but my stomach got the best of me.
The best speaker? I thought it was Zig Ziggler. Honestly, I had heard of this guy, but had no idea who he was. I guess you could categorize him as a Christian motivational speaker. He was great. Giulianni was also good. Only a couple were a waste of time - one was by the founder of Kinkos. He's rich now that he sold it to FedEx. I think Jarek could have given a more motivating talk.
In the end, the seminar confirmed my belief that to be motivated we have to be honest, true, and have self-respect. We need to be loved and love others. Most speakers agreed that family was most important - a very interesting concept to sell in today's society. But I agree.
For Valentine's Day, I came home from work to discover my home decorated with large, red, heart-shaped balloons and a wonderful dinner prepared by the greatest chef this side of La Casita. I truly am motivated by that women. There is nothing in this world I would not do for her. The gospel of Jesus Christ truly is the truth - and hopefully all of these people that attended today will come to know not only Christ, but the true Christ that only we as members of his Church know.
It was a good event. If I were to describe it, I would describe it as a mix between a Republican National Convention, a Christian Revival, one of those meetings you go to where they try to sell you a timeshare, and American Idol. I know that seems weird, but it is a good portrayal. I must admit that I was surprised by the amount of religion they brought into the seminar. I'm not sure if other ticket buyers (Prudential purchased mine) were aware they were going to be told multiple times about Jesus Christ and his power to redeem us, but I sure wasn't. In a way it was a very pleasant surprise, as it made me happy to know that certainly the thousands of people in the arenas around the country are hearing this very good and true message: Jesus will make us happy. Yet I can't help but think that many people were quite turned off by the religious undertones. At one point one of the speakers who really was quite open about Jesus, offered the crowd the opportunity to fill out a form to get a free CD with his "testimony" (what I would call it) and the opportunity to ask for representatives of Christ to visit you and your family. Sound familiar? I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of a Mormon motivational seminar with Steve Covey, Steve Young, the CEO of Dell Computers, and other Mormon leaders - with the missionaries seated outside in the halls of the basketball arenas around the country. Hey, if people are willing to pay for this seminar, why not that one?
The other thing that made me think was to see how people act in such large groups. I am not one easily swayed by groupthink or groups, but most people certainly are. A few of the speakers were pushing products. One speaker, who discussed how we can all get rich using the stock market - as long as we have the right tools - was a fun and interesting speaker. At the end he was able to give us a huge discount on his tools and seminar, which usually sell for over $3,000. For merely $500 you could get the DVDs, website access, and attend the seminar with 100% money back guarantee for satisfaction. After his talk, seriously, I bet 25% of the people signed up. 8 of the 20 in my group did! And this talk came right after a great talk about how money DOES NOT bring happiness. A similar thing happened in the afternoon session with a Real Estate millionaire. I didn't buy anything. I even tried to avoid buying the high priced food at AWA, but my stomach got the best of me.
The best speaker? I thought it was Zig Ziggler. Honestly, I had heard of this guy, but had no idea who he was. I guess you could categorize him as a Christian motivational speaker. He was great. Giulianni was also good. Only a couple were a waste of time - one was by the founder of Kinkos. He's rich now that he sold it to FedEx. I think Jarek could have given a more motivating talk.
In the end, the seminar confirmed my belief that to be motivated we have to be honest, true, and have self-respect. We need to be loved and love others. Most speakers agreed that family was most important - a very interesting concept to sell in today's society. But I agree.
For Valentine's Day, I came home from work to discover my home decorated with large, red, heart-shaped balloons and a wonderful dinner prepared by the greatest chef this side of La Casita. I truly am motivated by that women. There is nothing in this world I would not do for her. The gospel of Jesus Christ truly is the truth - and hopefully all of these people that attended today will come to know not only Christ, but the true Christ that only we as members of his Church know.
Survivor is back!!!
Well, for any of you, which is probably none of you, Survivor starts up again on Thursday. So once again I will be glued to the tube from 7-8pm thursday nights. Please make a note not to call during that time as I will not answer a phone or a text. It is not that I don't love all of you, I just need to have that time to focus on the drama that is Survivor, wishing that it was me surviving and winning, no doubt.
Peace out!
Peace out!
Monday, February 14, 2005
bad day snowmobiling is better than a good day at work
This last Friday my bosses decided to invite the construction department at my work to have the day off and took them snowmobiling… I was also invited. We met up at Daniel’s Summit at 7:30 am and each got fitted with our own Polaris 700 RMK snowmobile. This was my first time ever riding a snowmobile but after the brief crash course in riding I figured I would be ready enough… especially since I have previous experience on four wheelers, motor bikes, etc…. For the most part my experience served me well. What I wasn’t ready for was the difference in turning capabilities between the sleds and four wheelers. You all know I’m not exactly a heavy set person, and for those of you who have ridden on sleds before know just how much you have to use your weight to lean and maneuver them. So needless to say, turning was quite a task for me at the start. Another problem that presented itself was the amount of powder on the mountains; there was at least 18”. I quickly learned that if you try to go up a hill but don’t have enough momentum the sled will sink in the powder and you have to dig it out and lift the tail end around to face down the hill in order to get going again. It really is quite a process even if you have someone there to help you, and even more so if you’re out on your own…. Here’s how it actually went down.
Early in the day we made our way up to the top of the summit where we rode around in some bowls. I was still learning to read the land which was difficult due to the overcast sky and fresh powder over the ground. I tried to stay in a group with some of the more experienced riders but veered off course ever so slightly while going up a particularly irregular climb. I hit a deep cut in the snow and my sled ended up with the tail end stuck deep in the snow. One of the experienced riders came shortly and started to help me after seeing that my attempts were only resulting in getting the sled buried deeper since I was trying to continue up the hill. He helped me turn it around and noted that the best thing to do is get it facing down and get momentum behind you before trying to turn and go up again.
This information was very useful to me later on as I went off on my own and found myself stuck in a situation where I had to dig my sled out by myself and get it facing down only to face a thicket of aspen trees. It was quite an experience to maneuver through the trees, but I made it. Then we spent the next couple of hours just riding around above the timber line. Around 1pm a storm started to roll in so we decided to head back to the lodge for lunch. It was a fun little “race” back and we hit about 70mph a couple of times. WOW!
Lunch was great, the boss paid. I had homemade chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl and home cut fries. I got so stuffed. Everyone did, and with the storm most everyone decided to go home after lunch. Wayne, (the president of the company), Jeff (VP of construction), Dave (head of the Superintendents) and myself stayed. We went up some trails and then out in the mountains with a couple other guys who had GPS devises. Jeff got stuck in a snow covered stream and lost his boot. We ended up getting his boot and the sled out and he decided he had enough so the four of us started to head back. The guys with the GPS offered to guide us back to the trail head but we refused since it was only about 25 yards away. Well… in the snow everything looks the same and we managed to loose the trail. We spent the next 2 hours riding around the mountains trying to find our way back. Finally Wayne reminded me of my phone. I happened to have Verizon (the best coverage there is) and I was able to place a call to the lodge. We gave them our general vicinity and they sent a couple of guys out to find us… and obviously, they did! Good thing too, because by the time they did, it was about 6pm, white out conditions, and dark and cold. The funny thing is, when they found us, we were about 20 yards from the trail. HA! the thing is, it was 20 yards through a THICK grove of trees on a very steep embankment… we knew it was the way we needed to go but didn’t think it was possible to pass that way, the guides who found us however, showed just how easy it was to navigate down.
Anyway, the trip was great. And as Jeff kept saying… “a bad day of snowmobiling is better that a good day at work!”
Early in the day we made our way up to the top of the summit where we rode around in some bowls. I was still learning to read the land which was difficult due to the overcast sky and fresh powder over the ground. I tried to stay in a group with some of the more experienced riders but veered off course ever so slightly while going up a particularly irregular climb. I hit a deep cut in the snow and my sled ended up with the tail end stuck deep in the snow. One of the experienced riders came shortly and started to help me after seeing that my attempts were only resulting in getting the sled buried deeper since I was trying to continue up the hill. He helped me turn it around and noted that the best thing to do is get it facing down and get momentum behind you before trying to turn and go up again.
This information was very useful to me later on as I went off on my own and found myself stuck in a situation where I had to dig my sled out by myself and get it facing down only to face a thicket of aspen trees. It was quite an experience to maneuver through the trees, but I made it. Then we spent the next couple of hours just riding around above the timber line. Around 1pm a storm started to roll in so we decided to head back to the lodge for lunch. It was a fun little “race” back and we hit about 70mph a couple of times. WOW!
Lunch was great, the boss paid. I had homemade chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl and home cut fries. I got so stuffed. Everyone did, and with the storm most everyone decided to go home after lunch. Wayne, (the president of the company), Jeff (VP of construction), Dave (head of the Superintendents) and myself stayed. We went up some trails and then out in the mountains with a couple other guys who had GPS devises. Jeff got stuck in a snow covered stream and lost his boot. We ended up getting his boot and the sled out and he decided he had enough so the four of us started to head back. The guys with the GPS offered to guide us back to the trail head but we refused since it was only about 25 yards away. Well… in the snow everything looks the same and we managed to loose the trail. We spent the next 2 hours riding around the mountains trying to find our way back. Finally Wayne reminded me of my phone. I happened to have Verizon (the best coverage there is) and I was able to place a call to the lodge. We gave them our general vicinity and they sent a couple of guys out to find us… and obviously, they did! Good thing too, because by the time they did, it was about 6pm, white out conditions, and dark and cold. The funny thing is, when they found us, we were about 20 yards from the trail. HA! the thing is, it was 20 yards through a THICK grove of trees on a very steep embankment… we knew it was the way we needed to go but didn’t think it was possible to pass that way, the guides who found us however, showed just how easy it was to navigate down.
Anyway, the trip was great. And as Jeff kept saying… “a bad day of snowmobiling is better that a good day at work!”
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Performance Appraisals
This week was performance appraisal week at Prudential. This means that I had to sit down with my 11 employees and provide them with a performance rating for 2004 as well as provide them with their salary increase and bonus amount. I am very fortunate that I have a very talented team. Giving reviews to talented/high performing people makes it quite easy. It is always easy to tell people they are doing a great job. What gets more difficult is telling people they are doing an "okay" job, or even worse, a poor job. I have been spared the opportunity this year of letting someone know they are doing a poor job, but did have a few that were doing okay. At Prudential we have a rating system of 1-5. 5 means you are greatly exceeding expectations. 4 means consistently exceeds expectations. 3 - meets expectations, etc. Very few, if any get 1s or 5s. The majority (80-85%) get 3s.
Very few people like to hear negative or critical feedback. When I have an employee who is a 3 performer, that means they are doing their job. But most people like to think they are great employees. Rarely have I come across an employee who thinks they are average - at least at my company. People rationalize their greatness by remembering days they worked overtime, or a great email they received from somebody at some point telling them they did a great job. I am a manager that believes in rewarding performance (as is my company). Therefore there has to be a good reason somebody is better than a 3. I have to have a lot of backup and proof that this person exceeds expectations, and isn't just doing a good/great job in their role. At the same time, I am the type of manager that puts my trust in my employees. I empower them, and expect them to meet my expectations. When I give critical feedback, I do it in a subtle manner, trying not to hurt people's egos and let them know I still trust them (if I do). But to an average employee, this can often lead to delusions of grandeur. So reviews can be difficult if we sit down and I am certain they are a 3 and they are certain they are a 4.
What I try to do to avoid these types of situations is sit down with my employees on a quarterly basis and have a frank discussion. I ask questions like, "what rating do you think you are?" If they say something I disagree with, we discuss it and I tell them what I think the gap is between the two. This has helped me with difficulties with big surprises in performance ratings. But even if they agree they are not a 4, they just don't like to hear the negative aspects. I believe mostly my generation and the generation below me are just not used to receiving good, critical feedback. We have always been told we are the best. So usually critical feedback is a blow to our fragile egos, and we get defensive. The truth is, in most cases the feedback I am providing is not to point out flaws, but to help them reach their goal - or at least see what lacks for them to achieve - of a higher rating. We spend tons of time going through how much time they worked that one weekend or how it will be impossible to be that proactive with such a high caseload, never realizing that by rationalizing or denying such feedback, they are holding themselves back from achieving the next level. They won't even try because they see no need. They are already there.
The truth is, I guess this is necessary, as we can't have all high performers. There will always be those that stand out - and usually they are always the same people.
My review went well. I went in with a particular rating and bonus amount in mind, and was pleasantly surprised. I believe I have grown over the past two years and actually like to hear critical feedback, since I am starting to realize that I am not perfect. Even if I am the best manager in the department (ok, so I haven't grown a TON!), I can still become even better. There is no reason to leave the mark at a low level - we must continually grow. So at the beginning of this year, I am humbled. In most years I would have left my review with pride and confidence, saying I deserved this. This year I felt that I am so lucky to be in this situation, and that the Lord is too kind. I am so grateful for my job and the opportunity I have to use my skills in a way that I enjoy - and that are recognized. That is a blessing that not all people experience. I am also grateful that the Lord listens to our prayers.
I have a long way to go, but I feel that now that I am 30 and have settled into this "adult" life, that I am maturing and that I am getting more humble. So many people are ruined by the thoughts that they "deserve" what they receive. None of us "deserve" anything. Even if I lived perfectly for the rest of my life, I would never merit the blessings I have received up to this point in my life - and the gap would increase as God would most certainly provide even more for living such a life. Be grateful for what you have! It can all be taken in an instant. Cling to the things that are eternal: family, testimony.
Very few people like to hear negative or critical feedback. When I have an employee who is a 3 performer, that means they are doing their job. But most people like to think they are great employees. Rarely have I come across an employee who thinks they are average - at least at my company. People rationalize their greatness by remembering days they worked overtime, or a great email they received from somebody at some point telling them they did a great job. I am a manager that believes in rewarding performance (as is my company). Therefore there has to be a good reason somebody is better than a 3. I have to have a lot of backup and proof that this person exceeds expectations, and isn't just doing a good/great job in their role. At the same time, I am the type of manager that puts my trust in my employees. I empower them, and expect them to meet my expectations. When I give critical feedback, I do it in a subtle manner, trying not to hurt people's egos and let them know I still trust them (if I do). But to an average employee, this can often lead to delusions of grandeur. So reviews can be difficult if we sit down and I am certain they are a 3 and they are certain they are a 4.
What I try to do to avoid these types of situations is sit down with my employees on a quarterly basis and have a frank discussion. I ask questions like, "what rating do you think you are?" If they say something I disagree with, we discuss it and I tell them what I think the gap is between the two. This has helped me with difficulties with big surprises in performance ratings. But even if they agree they are not a 4, they just don't like to hear the negative aspects. I believe mostly my generation and the generation below me are just not used to receiving good, critical feedback. We have always been told we are the best. So usually critical feedback is a blow to our fragile egos, and we get defensive. The truth is, in most cases the feedback I am providing is not to point out flaws, but to help them reach their goal - or at least see what lacks for them to achieve - of a higher rating. We spend tons of time going through how much time they worked that one weekend or how it will be impossible to be that proactive with such a high caseload, never realizing that by rationalizing or denying such feedback, they are holding themselves back from achieving the next level. They won't even try because they see no need. They are already there.
The truth is, I guess this is necessary, as we can't have all high performers. There will always be those that stand out - and usually they are always the same people.
My review went well. I went in with a particular rating and bonus amount in mind, and was pleasantly surprised. I believe I have grown over the past two years and actually like to hear critical feedback, since I am starting to realize that I am not perfect. Even if I am the best manager in the department (ok, so I haven't grown a TON!), I can still become even better. There is no reason to leave the mark at a low level - we must continually grow. So at the beginning of this year, I am humbled. In most years I would have left my review with pride and confidence, saying I deserved this. This year I felt that I am so lucky to be in this situation, and that the Lord is too kind. I am so grateful for my job and the opportunity I have to use my skills in a way that I enjoy - and that are recognized. That is a blessing that not all people experience. I am also grateful that the Lord listens to our prayers.
I have a long way to go, but I feel that now that I am 30 and have settled into this "adult" life, that I am maturing and that I am getting more humble. So many people are ruined by the thoughts that they "deserve" what they receive. None of us "deserve" anything. Even if I lived perfectly for the rest of my life, I would never merit the blessings I have received up to this point in my life - and the gap would increase as God would most certainly provide even more for living such a life. Be grateful for what you have! It can all be taken in an instant. Cling to the things that are eternal: family, testimony.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
A bad day...
Now, i know you are all thinking, "There is no way his day can be as bad as mine." But, let me assure you, you are wrong for this was my day in its lovely details.
To start off, I have had trouble sleeping as of late and last night I had particulaly bad insamnia. I woke up a little late for work but still ate and took a shower becasue I have a such a nice boss. After scraping like an inch off the windshield i found myself at work thinking it could be an okay day. I also at this point was wrong. So, the day looks to be a normal day because I have only a few work orders, and so I get my tools and head to my first one. It just says noise from waterheater. Now, I get this exact work order at least two timea a day. I guess these students grew up in homes with the heater downstairs or something. Water heaters make noise if they're not like brand new. So, I knock on the door ready to give the normal speech since we only replace the heater if it is in really bad shape. But before the door opens I hear a really loud funny sound coming from inside. She opens the door and takes me right to the water heater which has sound around it. But there is a definate problem, the water heater is only a year old. I put my ear to it and didn't hear anything. Then my heart sank as I noticed the sound was louder as I got closer to the floor. I put my ear to the floor and could hear what souned like a water park below the apartment complex! I ran outside and after digging managed to turn the water off... well sort of, the sound didn't stop. I called Chris and told him to haul his butt over and then i called the head of Wymount and Maintanence and told them to get all the water to Wymount shut off asap. Eventually this happens and we are all in the apartment. Chris says,"Well, looks like you got a job in front of you..." and with that he walks out with the big shots and they leave me a BYU pickup and head off to go do all the paperwork. Chris told me to go get a team of 5 guys and lead the project and to have it completed by 6:00pm. So after getting two jackhammers and my other 4 guys we started the crazy project. To be continued...
To start off, I have had trouble sleeping as of late and last night I had particulaly bad insamnia. I woke up a little late for work but still ate and took a shower becasue I have a such a nice boss. After scraping like an inch off the windshield i found myself at work thinking it could be an okay day. I also at this point was wrong. So, the day looks to be a normal day because I have only a few work orders, and so I get my tools and head to my first one. It just says noise from waterheater. Now, I get this exact work order at least two timea a day. I guess these students grew up in homes with the heater downstairs or something. Water heaters make noise if they're not like brand new. So, I knock on the door ready to give the normal speech since we only replace the heater if it is in really bad shape. But before the door opens I hear a really loud funny sound coming from inside. She opens the door and takes me right to the water heater which has sound around it. But there is a definate problem, the water heater is only a year old. I put my ear to it and didn't hear anything. Then my heart sank as I noticed the sound was louder as I got closer to the floor. I put my ear to the floor and could hear what souned like a water park below the apartment complex! I ran outside and after digging managed to turn the water off... well sort of, the sound didn't stop. I called Chris and told him to haul his butt over and then i called the head of Wymount and Maintanence and told them to get all the water to Wymount shut off asap. Eventually this happens and we are all in the apartment. Chris says,"Well, looks like you got a job in front of you..." and with that he walks out with the big shots and they leave me a BYU pickup and head off to go do all the paperwork. Chris told me to go get a team of 5 guys and lead the project and to have it completed by 6:00pm. So after getting two jackhammers and my other 4 guys we started the crazy project. To be continued...
Monday, February 07, 2005
Life is Fragile
Yesterday afternoon I was awakened by the sound of my work cell vibrating on our counter. I wouldn't normally pick it up, but upon looking at it I realized it was an 801 area code so I thought I would pick it up (curious to think who in Utah would call my work number). It ended up being one of my good friends from the mission - Mike Blackham. I was excited to hear from him, but soon found out the news was not so good. He had called to inform me that one of our close mission friends - Cameron Court - had passed away this weekend in a snowmobile accident. Cameron had been a great friend on the mission. He was a great missionary - full of fun, love, and hard work. At one time on our mission he did a crank call to my mother (to set up a holiday call) where he told her he was calling her from a hospital about her son. My mother started crying - yes, it was a cruel joke - before we assured her that I was fine. Another time we were tracting and were invited into an old man's home. The man had a bunch of jars filled with what looked like mud. I asked him about them and he told me they were really old, pickled something. I told him that Cameron was a HUGE fan of that type of food, and it would be great if he could have some. The man's eyes lit up as he went to get a plate for us. I laughed inside as Cameron, trying not to be rude, tried so hard to eat the stuff. He tasted it and asked to leave, as he knew he was going to vomit. (By the way, I tried it also, and was able to keep it down - ah, I should have been on Fear Factor!). Another good memory of Cameron was a time when we would tract, we would say a random word right before making first contact, and our companion would have to use that word in the conversation. We got up and he said "vermes," which means worms. Trying not to laugh, we began the conversation. I asked the guy if he had lived here a while, and he noted that he had, as it was a nice place to live. I agreed, and said, "yeah, it's nice because the worms are great around here." Cameron busted up laughing and the guy kind of looked at me - probably thinking I just used a wrong word.
Those experiences make me laugh - and probably make everyone else think that we were not very serious missionaries. We were. He was one of our great zone leaders, and I will miss him. He loved to sing and often tried to convince me to sing with him. He wanted to be a country singer, so it really didn't fit my tastes. I feel bad for him for one main reason: he never got married or had kids. I'm sure he loved his life and had a lot of fun, but only one thing really brings a sense of happiness and godliness in this world: family. I feel bad that he wasn't able to experience what I have - the love of my life and kids that make me want to be better. He never was able to experience the hug of a child or difficulty of having a sick child. Will this keep him from heaven? Of course not. He will get that opportunity. But I am so grateful for what I have. I have been so blessed and would feel terrible to even think of complaining. So on a day of sadness - when a true friend has passed away - that grief brings me a sense of happiness in my life. I look forward to seeing him again some day. I miss you Cameron.
Those experiences make me laugh - and probably make everyone else think that we were not very serious missionaries. We were. He was one of our great zone leaders, and I will miss him. He loved to sing and often tried to convince me to sing with him. He wanted to be a country singer, so it really didn't fit my tastes. I feel bad for him for one main reason: he never got married or had kids. I'm sure he loved his life and had a lot of fun, but only one thing really brings a sense of happiness and godliness in this world: family. I feel bad that he wasn't able to experience what I have - the love of my life and kids that make me want to be better. He never was able to experience the hug of a child or difficulty of having a sick child. Will this keep him from heaven? Of course not. He will get that opportunity. But I am so grateful for what I have. I have been so blessed and would feel terrible to even think of complaining. So on a day of sadness - when a true friend has passed away - that grief brings me a sense of happiness in my life. I look forward to seeing him again some day. I miss you Cameron.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
ghetto music
we, all 4 of us and a nonmember girl we brought from Beacon, went to a tri-stake dance last night in the Yorktown building, Yorktown, Newburg, and Westchester stakes. what a difference from our stake dances. the whole thing was what Kathy and Tom and all of our youth named ghetto music,. I brought dad so we could dance. they played hardly any slow songs, and the 2 that we danced to, we had never heard of, and weren't even sure if they were slow songs. ask Tom. many of our youth tried to request songs, and the DJ, who looked like he had been hired, would not budge from his 'list'. dad could have stayed home and got something done. but we all had fun. the Yorktown ward is not like it used to be.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Jobs
Thursday I had the opportunity to go to a BYU MBA alumni gathering near the temple here in Phoenix (Mesa). It was during lunch, so I packed up with a fellow employee (Thomas Whitaker - who happens to be a double-alumni with me - both BYU and Thunderbird) and we drove down. There were a few strange things I noticed. One is that most of the people were men - and by most I mean 95%. I guess this shouldn't have been too unexpected, as perhaps many of the BYU women were home with the hijos. The second thing was that people have the strangest jobs. Most of the people I have known in this life have normal jobs: engineers, managers, doctors, lawyers, etc. But as I get older and interview people for jobs, I realize that there are a TON of people out there that either have no idea what to do in their life or they are not fit to work a normal job.
I use the term "normal" loosely, as certainly this is from my perspective. At the luncheon there were guys who did odd jobs for the government, had companies that they couldn't even explain what they did, or just had jobs I've never heard of in industries I had no idea existed. As I thought about it, it made sense. We have billions of people, and they can't all possibly fit into the few jobs that are out there. So many times people have to make up jobs - or they make one up for themselves. I've even seen it done in large companies. You have someone you hired and realized they aren't really good at what they do. You like them, and don't want to fire them, so you "find" a job for them. Maybe they start auditing stuff, or track things, or organize something.
So when a real job comes up, it's no wonder there are millions of applicants. Of course, in my case it seems next to impossible to hire someone. I have two positions open - the perfect position! An entry level position for recent college grads to start out in the international department for a Fortune 500 company. But who do I get applying for this position? Airplane repairmen! Teachers! What are these college kids with no jobs doing???? If you know of anyone, let me know.
In the end, I am even more grateful for my job. What a great job it is. Do I make a million dollars? No. But that is probably a good thing. It is a very secure, fun, challenging, and interesting job. I manage fantastically talented people (probably much more talented than I), get to speak to people around the globe, and only work 37.5 hours per week. So how did I end up with such a great job and Mr. Fulano de Tal (John Doe in Brazil) is working as a salesperson for special water that will cure me of cancer? I'm not sure. My first inkling would be to say it is because of my wife. People meet her and they melt. She is nicknamed the 'moviestar' at work. How can a guy with her on his arm not have the confidence to do well? That confidence is going to show in every job interview, at every job, and during every task. If she thinks I am good enough to marry, then I must be pretty da#* good! The old saying that behind every great man is a great woman is so true.
So do you want a good job? Marry a smarty with a strong testimony, great mother tendencies, and a nice asset - er, figure.
I use the term "normal" loosely, as certainly this is from my perspective. At the luncheon there were guys who did odd jobs for the government, had companies that they couldn't even explain what they did, or just had jobs I've never heard of in industries I had no idea existed. As I thought about it, it made sense. We have billions of people, and they can't all possibly fit into the few jobs that are out there. So many times people have to make up jobs - or they make one up for themselves. I've even seen it done in large companies. You have someone you hired and realized they aren't really good at what they do. You like them, and don't want to fire them, so you "find" a job for them. Maybe they start auditing stuff, or track things, or organize something.
So when a real job comes up, it's no wonder there are millions of applicants. Of course, in my case it seems next to impossible to hire someone. I have two positions open - the perfect position! An entry level position for recent college grads to start out in the international department for a Fortune 500 company. But who do I get applying for this position? Airplane repairmen! Teachers! What are these college kids with no jobs doing???? If you know of anyone, let me know.
In the end, I am even more grateful for my job. What a great job it is. Do I make a million dollars? No. But that is probably a good thing. It is a very secure, fun, challenging, and interesting job. I manage fantastically talented people (probably much more talented than I), get to speak to people around the globe, and only work 37.5 hours per week. So how did I end up with such a great job and Mr. Fulano de Tal (John Doe in Brazil) is working as a salesperson for special water that will cure me of cancer? I'm not sure. My first inkling would be to say it is because of my wife. People meet her and they melt. She is nicknamed the 'moviestar' at work. How can a guy with her on his arm not have the confidence to do well? That confidence is going to show in every job interview, at every job, and during every task. If she thinks I am good enough to marry, then I must be pretty da#* good! The old saying that behind every great man is a great woman is so true.
So do you want a good job? Marry a smarty with a strong testimony, great mother tendencies, and a nice asset - er, figure.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Recipies...
Okay, so here are the requested recipies as of late:
+Tevia's bean bashing bubble chili/soup
(the one with like 8,000 cans required)
+Bonnie's Tacos
+Mom's world famous Lasanga
+Mom's heat attack cheeze wiz macoroni
+Chicken hmm... enchiladas... wow I spelled that closer than I expected
+or other appropriate, real reciepies!
note to bret: invite Carolyn, her email is carolynwall@gmail.com
+Tevia's bean bashing bubble chili/soup
(the one with like 8,000 cans required)
+Bonnie's Tacos
+Mom's world famous Lasanga
+Mom's heat attack cheeze wiz macoroni
+Chicken hmm... enchiladas... wow I spelled that closer than I expected
+or other appropriate, real reciepies!
note to bret: invite Carolyn, her email is carolynwall@gmail.com
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Vacation
Okay, let's talk vacation. Where and when? :) I think bret is getting more blogging than he bargained for. I love this way of communication. It is great. Anyhow, bret had mentioned something about virginia beach. Is that a real option? I am always up for the beach. But not for jellyfish!!!! LOL. So let's talk and bounce ideas around.
New Teeths
So last night I was up till 3am reading for my classes and I have to get up at 7am to get my new teeth put in. I have to admit I'm quiite pleased with the results... I'll evern try and post some pix... I can't figure this blogg thing though...
Anyway, that's big news for me, it only took about a year and about $2000.00
Anyway, that's big news for me, it only took about a year and about $2000.00
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Disney Land
Round trip tickets on Southwest airlines to LAX = $110.00
Entrance cost to Disney Land when your roommate's brother works there = $0.00
Getting out of Provo for President's Day weekend = PRICELESS!!!
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there're roommates, oh and Master Card (Visa)
Entrance cost to Disney Land when your roommate's brother works there = $0.00
Getting out of Provo for President's Day weekend = PRICELESS!!!
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there're roommates, oh and Master Card (Visa)
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