coming home

how overwhelming it can be! it will take me some time to even read all the blogs and emails. I had a great trip. I got to see everyone, and all was well... well, except for Michael's dog, who needs surgery on her hips. ( that's a whole story I am sure Tevia and Jacob Webb don't want to hear)
Mom looked fine, and besides being a bit wobbly, she was fun and cute to be around. we even got her to play charades. It was relaxing to be in the slow-motion mode of elderly. I even got 8 hours of sleep a few nights. All wanted to hear how everyone was, and mom and Kathy told how cute Jarek and Malik are. Kathy's house was beautiful. Fred does great work around the house. My flights were short and easy, and I got to read a lot and watch a lot of old movies with mom. I am glad to be home, even though it means back into the faster mode and less sleep.

tennis

Tom wins first tennis match against Beacon. he is playing first doubles now. he played well.

N64

This reminded me of my brother (Jake). It made me laugh.

Google Pages

After being on a waitlist, I finally got the OK from Google to use their GooglePages beta. It is a basic program to create websites. I hope to use it to be the eventual lead-in to our blog. For now, it is basic - but check it out.

http://bret.wall.googlepages.com/home

ERROR 404!

(No Sleep + Stress) X (More Work) / ( 1/[Murphy's Law]) = Lots of Problems!

Thankfully, take that whole equation and %(Mod)it by (one) good wife and
you only have one problem; trying not to take it out on her. If you can master that, she will handle the rest!

Thank you Cari for your unselfish and steady hand through a rought time for me. You all should know that she > you. Though I won't try to prove it here, rest assured its true.

Truthfully, thanks for those of you who helped encourage me and were just there to talk, or busy being an example of hard working, problem solving people. Kathy and Tommy, you two are incredible! If half of what mom says about you two is true, you will be great leaders and do so much good for those around you. And Tom remember there are only 10 kinds of people in this world! 8r3 U 3l1t3 2?

Pride & Prejudice & Love

Well, I finally got around to watching the new version of Pride and Prejudice last night (with Keira Knightly). Let me preface this with the fact that I love this book. It is one of my favorites and I savored most of the book. It is always difficult watching movies based on books you really enjoy because they can so often ruin it. A case in point is Tevia rereading the Lord of the Rings and realizing how different the movies are. Now she tends not to like the movies. I understand they are different mediums and can tolerate differences (though they totally messed up Faramir!).

I was excited to see the movie as I love Keira Knightly (since Star Wars Episode I). It has also received great reviews, but that often matters little. I had planned on watching only the first half as I was quite tired, but that plan failed. I watched all two hours and loved almost every minute of it. I was blown away with some of the performances. Keira Knightly, who I love mostly because she looks like Natalie Portman (Tevia?), looked and acted eerily like Winona Ryder in Little Women. That isn't a bad thing, just odd. Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfayden) was fantastic - I can't imagine a better performance of his character. It seemed to follow the story quite well (from my memory) and brought out all of the emotions that, to me, make the book a classic.

As I sat and cried large tears (I am a baby in some movies), I thought of a couple of things. First off: so many of these books (movies) are the same. Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, you fill in the blank. They are all about women so concerned about getting married. This doesn't mean they are bad or even boring, but really, they are all basically the same story. Second: true love is rare these days. Let me expound.

I am a true believer in true love. To me, true love is different than being in love. We can fall in love many times. I think National Geographic had a wonderful article last month about "love" and how it is really like a mental sickness. We fall in and out of love (or we CAN) throughout our lives, even with the same people (i.e. I may love my wife, then not, then be in love again).

But true love is something more. True love, from a big picture, has more to do with our spirits. It is a connection beyond the physical and transcends the physical. It is a part of our being. I think deep down we all want to feel this true love. We all want this feeling a part of someone. But for true love to develop, it takes patience and time. I don't think you fall into true love. It develops as you get to know someone. Similar to Mr. Darcy and Lizzy, at first you may not even like that person. But as you grow and they grow, you realize that you are a better match together. The sum is worth more than the individual pieces. So why don't people experience this nowadays? I think it is due to an increased physicallity of relationships. Since most of the world can now go out and have sex at any point with any person, that fulfills a physical desire and may even lead to love. But it limits us from seeking what we truly desire. It is like being in a candy store surrounded by millions of candies for the taking. But there is one candy in there that is so much better, so wonderful that we would gladly give up the rest of the candy. But if we stop and eat the candy around us, it eventually fulfills us enough to think we really don't want/need any more. So we give up - or perhaps a better word is we "settle."

So people end up marrying the wrong people, or give up on even finding true love. Relationships don't last - and even marriage can't bring that sense to find true love since the relationship has already "settled" prior to marriage. So millions, perhaps most people miss out on the great secret of life: true love. This is akin to the love of Christ; an unselfish love that makes you want to be better. It is like the love of a child, but more complete. And most people don't even know they have given up. Most of them don't even believe it exists. And so we have a world full of selfish, sad people. And they cry at movies like this but they don't really "feel" it. That is why, in my opinion, so many of these old stories bring such emotion to us. In the old days they had time to look and develop true love. And we can sense it while we read the words and see the images. But it has become a fantasy world that perhaps never existed.

I am here to say it exists - and it is one of the main reasons we are here on Earth. And I feel bad for the rest of the world (well, most of it) because I have found my true love. It wasn't an immediate thing. I didn't even fall in love at first sight (maybe lust, but hey, can you blame me?). But eventually as I got to know her I realized that I couldn't live without her. And I have been blessed enough to have been granted my wish for the past 10 years. I am no Mr. Darcy and Tevia is no Lizzy; we are Bret and Tevia. And our story is as strong and heartwarming as any book; just a little less dramatic.

cleveland

I will be in Cleveland from tomorrow AM to next Wed. yes, I get a break! not that I need one. I am sorry everyone is so stressed and I have life so easy. I have to remember that I did not always have life this easy. and it won't be easy to take mom shopping, do her spring cleaning, and stuff, but I will enjoy every minute of being around her. it won't be lying on a beach, but a break from routine is always nice. I also will get 8 hours of sleep for the first time in a long time. that I am really looking forward to. Mom, Milan, Mike and I are driving up to see Kathy on Saturday and returning on Monday. that I will also love. I haven't seen my sister's house in a long time, and I love being with her.

My New Challenge

I don't really like exercise. Most of us know that. I get into something for a while and then I get bored of it. I think my problem is that I have never had any really good motivation. Problem solved.

Our stake is having a large-ish Easter activity on April 15th. One of the festivities of the day includes a 5k run. Guess who's running in it.... :-) That's right: me. But here's where my motivation problem gets solved. Jacob and I have made a deal. If I can run the 5k in under 30 minutes, I get a new computer. I know that doesn't really do it for everyone, but it does it for me!!! So I started running as of yesterday, all the while chanting in my head, "1 gig of RAM, Dual core CPU, flat screen monitor, 80 gig hard-drive..."

Ok, so I'm a nerd. I think we were all aware of that.

Honestly, I don't know if I'll make it in under 30 minutes. I think I'll be a little sad if I don't, but I'm really excited to try.

Hitting a Wall

There are times in life where you feel like you hit a wall. In basketball they talk about rookies in their first season hitting the wall and not being able to finish the season strong. After travelling last week and having a client in, this week feels like that. It isn't that I am not enjoying my job, but I just feel tired, worn out. I had a 5:30 AM conference call this morning with Asia which may be contributing to it, but I need some time off. I am looking forward to this Thursday as I am going on a field trip with Jarek and his class. Then I'll have Friday and then the weekend.

It makes me happy that I don't feel like this very often. I feel bad for the majority of people who really don't enjoy their jobs. Certainly things go crazy from time to time and the past year has been the busiest of my career. But even with that, I love being with the people at my work and doing the work I do. I enjoy managing people and making people better at what they do. For that I am lucky. But once in a while we need to take a break. I'll take a small one here this week and I look very much forward to our trip to Mexico in 6 weeks!

Lucas in Love - Fun with Google Video

One of my new favorite sites gets clips from Google Video. I remember when this one came out a few years ago, but never saw it. I now see that it was a good little film.

Paradoxes and Deep Thinking

OK, if you have not seen the movie "Primer" stop reading this and go rent the movie (or Netflix it). We watched it last night on a suggestion of a friend (by the way, the movie is rated PG-13, though when you play the DVD it says it is rated R. Netflix put on the cover that it truly is rated PG-13 and the R rating on the disc is wrong. Strange. In fact, I am surprised it was rated PG-13, seems a PG rating would have been fine).

I remember hearing about the film a few years ago as it won some awards at the Sundance film festival. It is a movie about some guys that happen to stumble upon a way to travel back in time. Certainly this is not a new plot, but the movie is original in the story and delves into what would a person do with this power - and who would you trust with this knowledge. The neat part of the movie - or frustrating for some - is the style of the movie makes you think and you often get lost on what is happening due to the many paradoxes and issues time travel creates. Indeed, at the end I wasn't quite sure what really had happened at some points and had to turn to my trusty friend Wikipedia to figure it out. Even with that (which provides amazing detail) it is still confusing as you have to be able to think about different positions and events in time (for example, taking the time machine back in time and what effects that would have).

But I LOVED the movie. It really made me think and was fun. I think the main reason I loved it was because I really didn't know what it was about, so I may have ruined it for you all. But rent it anyway. Mom, you probably wouldn't like it - but to us nerds (Jake, Cari, Tom, Pops) it is provides some deep insight and thinking.

cedar point

ok, we finally decided we are going to Cedar Point again, instead of Virginia Beach, Kathy's last summer request. we are going to go to Cleveland on August 12th or 13th, go to Cedar Point on August 14th, stay overnight, then go home on the 15th. We welcome anyone who wants to come. I am going to get in some trouble here with wives, but hey, it's worth a try to mention it. If Bret or Jacob wanted to get away for a quick weekend, you could fly to Cleveland on Sat or Sunday and have fun with us and go back on Tuesday. Flights to Cleveland are cheap and you could see grandma. I only say this knowing that Tevia won't want to go to an amusement park this summer, and Cari doesn't like them all that much, but, of course, she can come too, and we would love to have anyone come with us. And, Tevia gets to come out sometimes by herself... kind of. well, don't anyone get mad at me. you are all welcome and we will get a nice suite by the beach. if none of you come, the kids will bring friends. I will get a place for 6. oh, I just remembered I already suggested to Bret that he get away and go to UT with us in a few weeks after that. oops. I guess you can't do everything. sorry. we just love being with you all. this includes you Jacob Webb. so that is our timing. we go to UT the last weekend of August, Saturday the 26th to Sept 2nd, to get rid of Kathy....hee hee. And, Dad and I are going to Cape Cod to get away on Aug 3,4, and 5th. wow, I have a lot of fun places to go this year. how would I ever have time to work? :) Glad dad pays my way.

The sound of a heartbeat

So, today I went to my second doctors appointment, all by myself. Bret is off in Ohio and I left the boys with a friend. I really should have taken the kids with me had I remembered it was only listening to the heartbeat of the baby.

As I was laying up on the table, anxious to hear the heartbeat of a new life, I was very overwhelmed with emotion. It is so amazing to hear that tiny sound, especially when you can't even feel its presence yet. I was reassured and elated to know that indeed there is a baby in there. What a joy and what a blessing to hear the signs of life. I am so excited to add this baby to our family. I missed having Bret with me though. :( Hopefully he can make it to the ultrasound.

It isn't good to be alone...

...it isn't good. So if you want someone to love you really should join hands and be together..." Or so the song goes. That is a great album, by the way. I can still remember all of those songs years after the fact. And much better than "Saturday's Warrior." I'm referring to "My Turn on Earth" for those of you not born in the Generation X or Baby Boomer period.

This weekend I am alone. Tevia is up in Show Low with the boys - snowed in! So I probably won't even get to see them until I get back from Dayton, OH (how fun!) this Wed. I am glad they got to see snow - and it was great to see rain after we all fasted last week. But it sucks being alone. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was used to it, or if I didn't like my wife and kids. But for me, it is just no fun. I actually find I am less productive - which seems odd since I have way more time. But I end up wasting my time on the computer or playing Nintendo. It's almost like I need some sort of interface so I don't feel lonely. Even something as simple as cleaning the bathroom seems horribly lonely and sad, so I avoid it. I have gone on ad nauseum in my blog about how important family is and why we need family, etc., but once again this time by myself strengthens my conviction that I need Tevia and my boys. Without them I am a lazy, no good guy just looking for trouble. So once again, I am so grateful for my wife and kids. I certainly pray for them a lot. I can't wait to see them later this week. In the meantime it does help on Sundays. I went out home teaching today and will be going to my Priesthood meeting tonight. If they were home, there is a chance I might be tempted to skip or even forget. But it sure is hard to forget when I am sitting here in silence watching the clock.

It is almost March Madness. I sent out a link for our tournament pool - so good luck. This is a fun part of the year.

How to buy a car in 2 hours

For the past few years we have discussed purchasing a minivan. I'm not too opposed to minivans, but Tevia was eager to avoid the inevitable for as long as possible. We had decided a few months ago that this Spring was the time to purchase a van; and the prospect of another child made the decision even more urgent.

So we have been studying the different minivans available, both used and new. After a few weeks of studying and having received our money from both the government and Prudential, we decided to get a babysitter today (Risa) and go looking. We had decided to start with the new vans and see what the bottomline cost would be - and if too much we would go down to a used. We have never purchased a new car before, so this was a little exciting, but we have been to dealers before and we dreaded that part.

We narrowed it down to three vans: Honda Odyssey, Chrysler Town and Country, and the Kia Sedona. The Honda obviously has a great name and reputation, but it is the most expensive. The Chrysler has a history of a great drive (along with repair issues). The Kia was redesigned in 2006 with many safety features and looking to really compete with the Hondas and Toyotas at substanitally less cost.

I think Tevia went into the day thinking we would purchase a Honda. I went in after looking at dozens of reviews and comparisons thinking we would get a Kia. In the end I was right. We actually went to the Kia dealer first and really liked the Sedona. I liked the new styling (better than the last model); but I was really impressed with the safety features. Knowing my wife and kids (most prized posessions) would be in this vehicle most of the time, the airbags in the front and side (even in the back) along with the fantastic crash test results really had put it in the lead in my mind. Honda also has these, but with a substantially higher price. I also liked the long warranty (5 year/60K basic warranty including roadside assistance and 10 year/100K limited warranty on the drivetrain, etc.). We test drove it and Tevia liked it. The only thing we didn't like was the back seat was a little low to the ground - but this is now typcial with the vans that you can fold the back seat into the floor.

So we went in with Sal our salesperson and went over the numbers. In the end I believe we spent a little more than we had anticipated, but with the warranty I believe the additional money would be similar to repairs we might have on a used van - so we went with it. We were only there for a little over 2 hours and drove away with our new silver Kia Sedona LX. Risa and the kids loved it, too. Jarek is now able to buckle himself all on his own due to the extra room and Malik can even unbuckle himself now. This will be a huge help to Tevia as she taxis the boys and baby around). The tinted windows and A/C divided into 3 areas will also keep them cool in the hot Phoenix sun. It was the base model, but we are a simple family - no need for wood grain, Bose speakers, or navigation systems here.

So we are excited to have our first new car. The experience wasn't even all that bad. The strange thing was looking around and seeing all of the people around us also purchasing cars and wondering how in the world they could afford it. My guess is they probably couldn't, but were doing it anyway.

Now we just need to name the car. Slave 1 is taken by the house - so we'll have to figure something else out. Maybe the X-wing? :-)

thanksgiving

We are excited to say we are going to AZ for thanksgiving! we are sorry we messed up Jake and Cari' s plans. Jacob, don't feel pressured to go too. dad said he told you I'd be mad if you didn't go to AZ. You know me better than that. do what you guys want to do. if you don't go, Kathy can go down with Jacob Webb or we can fly her down. we want to see that little baby, warm up, play tennis, and be with our dear Bret for once on a Thanksgiving! The details: we arrive the Tuesday before, and leave on the Sunday after. we don't even care if we get turkey! or, I can cook and give Tevs a break. or better yet, I can hold the baby and give Tevs a break!!!! love being with you all!

fake snow day

Well, it's real snow, but the kids and I figured all the schools would close cause by the time they left for seminary Arlington, Spackenkill, and everything but Wappingers had closed, due to a storm supposed to start at 10am and dump a fluffy 8" on us. but no, Wapp decided to hold out and see if it would really come at 10, so they opted for an early dismisal. well, I let the kids stay home after they came back from seminary, knowing they would only have 3 classes and one of them was gym. Traci cut too, and she is here. then I went to walmart and loaded up on canned goods and stuff for food storage cause I was running low. by the time I left walmart at 9:30, it was coming down fast and strong. wapp is going to be in trouble. they are dismissing the high schools at 10, and then they have to use the same busses to do the jr high, then the grade schools won't even get out till noon. it is 11 now, and we have 2". the roads are awful, I got behind a bus on new hackensack, and it was slipping around and going so slow, and the kids getting off were slipping also. I have to say- my care did great! I got 4 new tires last week cause of the last time I had to drive in the snow and was all over the road. dad said they were ok, but the guys at Toyota said the tires was the reason why I was slipping, and they were right! I had no trouble at all as long as I was careful. sometimes spending the money, no, always spending the money for safety is worth it.
chocolate chip cookie and hot chocolate day, cleaning out book shelves, and fun fun fun! wish you were here Tevia!