Maybe it is the post vacation era, but I have been feeling kinda depressed as of late. My classes are more interesting than usual, and I am doing well in a rough job; yet, I feel I have little purpose in life. Which, to be honest, isn't true since work and school really are my purpose. But, that dosen't stop me from feeling lost. Usually, I have some event or time in the future to look forward to and hope for. Its my dreams and hopes that push me and allow me to enjoy day to day life. I don't have one fixed event on the horizon that isn't a meeting or test. Four inches of snow fell last night turning Provo all white and reminding me how much the pretty white stuff had cost me a month earlier. Its the first time I've ever been annoyed to see snow.
I've learned how poorly I write in my English 316 class. This paragraph displys evident proof of that. This is not a surprise to me, but my teacher was not at all reserved when she told me she didn't think an A was in my future and suggested I retake English 315. Whether she knew it or not, this was the best advice she could give me as I am always trying my best to prove people wrong. Discouraging remarks have always pushed me harder than compliments.
This is also true in my advanced volleyball class where the possibility to be thrown out of the class has me really excited. The constant negative feedback has pushed me to really put forth some effort. I won a game 15-0 yesterday. I served 15 striaght points with 3 aces. The rest of my game sucks, but no one can handle my very short curving serve.
The title you ask? The computer Science department had a major problem this semester with one of their large databases. After all options but wiping the database had been exusted, Dr. Burton suggested they pay me a visit. I assured them their grim assesment of no regular fixes was correct, but asked them if I might atempt a more unusual fix. After deciding it was worth a shot they returned, and asked me to give it a try. End of the story, I hacked the database from outside and hex edited(hard coded) a solution. So, I guess some of my earlier skills in that area are still usful.
Why is this important? Everyone constantly tells me how talented I am at so very many things. Yet being talented at everything does a whole lot of nothing. Only if you are exceptional at just a few things do rewards come. Example, I am a great programmer in more languages than most of my friends even know. Yet, they are exceptional in just Java and C++ the two languages the CS department is currently using to test us.
Anyways, Im not really complaining, just trying to get some words out so I can feel better. The real purpose of this blog is to ask everyone to email me their resume. Mine is due on Tuesday and I am really trying to show my teacher I am not illiterate. I did get an A- in 315 for goodness sake. Only, Cari constantly reminds me it was only becasue I flirted with the teacher every class.
So to sum up this entry, BYU won their basketball game tongiht, Cari liked the dinner I made and the CS department called me a genius; lets get ready for tomorrow.
3 comments:
Hey bro. I don't have a resume here at work, so I'll try to dust mine off and send it this weekend.
Winter can have that effect on you. Don't worry. You are doing great. I loved having you and Cari here this last weekend. We didn't do much but chill and talk, but that is what I like. I love talking about things. You are highly intelligent. I disagree about your evaluation of people with skills in one area. It may seem people with one skill succeed - but the ratio is small. There are so few roles for people with just one skill. I am all for well-rounded people. They bring so much more to the table and the company. They can come up with new ideas and be "high performers" and not just good employees. There is a difference.
Just focus on school and get it over with. Enjoy it, though. After school life has much more of a dull pace to it. You are restricted much more by vacation time, deadlines, and spending time with family (this is not a bad thing, but you do have to put time aside for it or you will fail at your family!). In school you have all flexibility to enjoy long weekends, fun dates, and exciting trips (if you have $).
So sit with your wife tonight and make up some popcorn while you watch BSG.
I live my life like you in the sense I am always looking forward to something. Right now I look forward to my 10 year anniversary and our trip to Mexico. I am so excited. Plus I get to go with this hottie I know - my little Starbuck.
good answer, Bret. Jake, I told dad to send you his resume. I don't know if he will. for English, you will need to spend a lot of time this semester in the writing help room. I am sure your college has one, and yes, take the time to go there and have them look over your papers before you turn them in. and beg Cari to help you too. You can do it. don't believe the lables on you. you can write, and there are so many people that can check your grammar. even Miya told me to have you send stuff to me to have her look at. she teaches English at Marist. you WILL show that teacher and get an A!
lots of people feel an after the holidays down time. I actually used to like it, but I don't get it anymore. dad is in a funk, totally. Bret is right. you are sooooooo at a good time in your life. I would love to be back in college. and you have Cari. you are sooooo lucky. she is the best. so I will give you 2 formulas for happiness, from my 51 years of wisdom. the first one is easy - make Cari happy, and you will be happy.
second- this is for people who don't have a wonderful spouse or any at all, and do not have someone to fall back on for support and love. live life by priorities: it goes like this, God, you. period. make the relationship really count. do not miss a single day of reading the scriptures, they are your life-line, and don't read them for memorizing or knowledge, read them for inspiration and the spirit. secondly, pray always. keep the tempation of 'life is too hard' far away. pray for help to be cheerful and a big help to others. then serve. do all your callings as best as you can. serve your family, and look for acts of charity. now I know all that stuff sounds easy, or else it sounds stupid and it won't work, but it will, I promise you. Don't pick up a single book unless you read your scriptures, even one verse. don't leave the bedroom till you prayed. then, remember where you are in life, and do that the best you can. Tev has to be a mother 24-7, that gets tiring and it is hard, but she is good at it. you are a student, and it seems hard, and never ending, but it will end, and you won't get to do it again. so do it with a smile, and do it well. force yourself to smile as you go to class. challenge yourself to little tests and do when you do your homework, treat yourself. as for something to look forward to, hey bud, you just had a 3 week vacation, and then a 4 day vacation. whatever. look forward to little things, like the first picnic of the year with Cari, or a simple party with friends. these little things keep us having fun in our humdrum life of routine. maybe WOW isn't fulfilling your fun role. I sure laughed my head off during the Office this week. make sure you laugh once a week.
so, that is more than you wanted, but I hope even one little part of it helps. I have to make sure I stay happy, and I have tons of little ways I do it. most of all, my relationship with Heavenly Father really keeps me focused on what is important, what my potential is, and what I am preparing for. you have great potential in this life and the next. prepare for it now. mom
Okay mom, so you can inspire even when it was meant for someone else. If I have half the wisdom and faith you have when I am your age, I will be doing good. All that stuff you said to Jacob, I needed to hear today too. It has been a not so great day. I cried and got mad and was terribly grumpy today. Our car wouldn't start and I was supposed to meet bret at the church, then we were all supposed to go to a birthday party. I called my dad and tried to talk to him to figure out the problem, and was just upset and crying about the stupid car. Then Bret had to come home, we missed the party and I was still grumpy. So bret told me to rest, and then we painted the cupboards and I felt better. The car needed a new battery, and AAA towed it for us. We are out 150 bucks, but cars are a continual money pit. One of these days it won't bother me to pour money down the car drain. HA HA HA!!!
Anyhow, thanks for you words, even though they were meant to lift Jacob, they gave me a lift that I needed. I was also feeling the downtime blues and haven't had the desire to clean or do anything since I got back from NY. But today was a better start to cleaning since I actually got the carpet vacuumed in one room.
Next week we get a big hole knocked in our wall in the big family room to fix the bathroom shower. It never ends. Well, I guess the temporal nuttiness of life ends when we draw our last breath on this earth, which I hope I have a lot more left!! I know we have to take the bad in order to appreciate the good.
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