Just when it seems like the kids are making progress, something pulls them back down again. It was a frustrating day at PT today. Over the last few months Jarek had been making progress with his posture and muscle strength. He seemed to be almost to the top of the hill in one area, and ready to tackle the next. Today, Suzanne (his PT) came out a little early with a concerned and somewhat baffled look on her face. My heart fluttered as I had a feeling bad news was going to follow. She said that Jarek is losing ground. He isn't progressing and seems to be going backwards now from what she has been seeing from him the past few weeks. I asked what we could do, and she seemed very frustrated as well and didn't really have an answer. She said that this could be happening due to a couple of factors. #1, Jarek could be growing. That would be a good thing. What happens when he grows is all the muscles and things they have been working on get thrown out of whack. So we will measure him on our wall where we have been tracking his growth. If it isn't that he is growing, she thought it might be because he is overly tired. (which could be the case today since he went to bed very late and had to get up at 6:20 this morning to go with me to get the van's oil changed). And if it isn't that, she really doesn't know what it is, or what to do. So she gave me some more stretches and exercises to do with him, and we will see if he does any better next week.
I am worried. It is scary being a mother. It is so difficult to see someone you love struggle so much with something that comes so naturally to most other people. I know Jarek is a very special boy, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier on the heart of a mother having to watch his struggles. He was talking to me the other day and crying, telling me about how frustrated he gets in school sometimes because he can't keep up with the other kids physically. And how his feelings were hurt very bad by this one girl who insists on calling him "midget". It broke my heart to see him so upset. He knows that he has a hard time physically and thinks that is why the other kids won't play with him. He says they just run away and he can't keep up. It tears me up inside to not be able to fix everything for him. I know this is one of his trials, and I can only give him encouragement and a safe place where he knows he is loved, but that doesn't really make it any easier.
I guess one step forward is better than no steps forward. We will continue to work with him, and pray for him. I guess I can't have miracles every day. I am just thankful that his cardiology appointment gave us good news. We will keep working with him, and giving him all the support we can. I just thought I would share that with everyone. Thanks for listening.
2 comments:
I feel for you. It must be hard to watch. it was hard for me to see it when I was there. on the other hand, he will learn wonderful ways to cope and to love others. you just need to be there for him. the soft place he lands, the home full of love and support. as long as he knows how much you and Bret love him, for sure, 100%, and that he does not have to measure up to anything for you guys, and that you love him unconditionally, he will be fine. I saw a Dr Phil today and the mother was embarrassed to take her daughter in public at 7 because she had a skin condition. her daughter will be able to feel that, and it will cause her to have low self esteem. you both do a good job at building Jarek's self esteem. height and speed is not everything, and he needs to know that. I will continue to pray for him, as always.
I have to admit, that is almost a shock to me! It's so easy to forget that Jarek and Malik are behind physically since I'm not living with them AND around other children their age. As an uncle who also loves them unconditionally, it is SO easy to just focus on all the things they excel at!! How smart they are, how cute they are, how Turkey Boy and Beanie they are!!!
It breaks my heart to hear there can be someone (a child or adult) who can't see them the way I see them. I can't help but think that is how must our Heavenly Father must feel (only to a much greater extent) for each and every one of us as his children (whom He loves unconditionally and must only focus on the things we excel at). After all, it was He who gave us our weakness that we may be humble.
What breaks my heart almost just as much is to remember that I once was "that" kid. The kid on the playground who teased and made fun of others who were unable to "keep up" or were different in some other way. Of course, I also spent a good amount of time (as time went by) being the other kid as well... the kid that was teased for being poor, or lacking in so many things. Regardless of the fact that neither of those things (physical attributes or monetary wealth, or whatever ever the case may be) none of those things REALLY determine WHO we are, and even less so who we can become.
I know it's futile to wish I could go back and change the way I treated so many kids. It is just as futile to wish I could make everyone see Jarek and Malik the way I do. But after reading Tevia's Blog, I know there is something I CAN do... and do it I shall......
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