OK, so a day has past. I've had some time to think about it, pray about it, and even talk a little with HR (had to talk to them about another issue today, so why not bring this up?). Certainly the feelings beneath yesterday's posting will take time to see where we go. But I have resolved a few things.
First - I am convinced the comments came from people that I am not worried about. They are the typical complainers and, though I like these people, they must be upset because they disagree with decisions that have come to pass in the past. So they can through accusations my way. It's okay. The people I trust and respect the most, and who support me the most, I am convinced will never think this way. I can deal with some people with hurt egos and delusions.
Second - I will be true to myself. I can play the political games to a point. But there are some things that I don't think I will bend on. If that doesn't work well for me here at my current employer, that is okay. I have enough faith in myself to do things my way. It has worked so far. This isn't to say I can't take some feedback and mentoring to polish my game, but when I come to big obstacles I will play it like I see it and do not fear the consequences. I love my job - and there is no reason to sacrifice love for a job for money. So hopefully things will continue in my favor here. I have faith in Prudential and I will do all I can to continue to help them be successful. But in the end it's just a job. There are other things I can do. It may be uncomfortable; it may be hard.
Last - Unfortunately I will be more careful around Mormons at work. Not that I can be much more careful, but therefore it won't be too hard. The irony is that I feel much closer to people in the department who are not Mormon - and I will support them through thick and thin. We all will have people we favor - and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It is natural. I am confident I do not confuse religious affiliation with respect of talent. But I certainly ain't gonna reach out to my BYU alumni and have them apply for jobs here. That is too bad, but something I can live with. I know someone who is a minority and they once told me that they never hired minorities - purely to avoid similar issues. It is a price some of us can pay. I don't think it wrong, but I do find it sad.
1 comment:
wow, I thought no one had blogged all week. now there was a ton to read. very sad that jobs have to be like this. you are strong, and good, and righteous, and I know you can handle this. I hope conference helps you feel strong and wise. good solutions.
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