The Train

I was determined to leave the office early on Friday. Tevia had witnessed that working abroad actually means “working” and hadn’t seen my home earlier than 7 or 8 pm most nights. I wanted Friday to be different and so urged my coworker to leave around 6 in order to catch the train and get back to the hotel by 6:30 or so. This would give me more hours to spend at dinner with Tevia as we began the beloved weekend.

We arrived at the train station as usual and waited on the platform. From time to time high speed trains would go by so quickly that you often wondered if anybody accidentally got hurt. The word from locals was that this happened from time to time, but not accidentally. It was a good spot to end one’s suffering. Our train quickly approached and we boarded. This train was a “double-decker” meaning it had two levels. We opted for the top level so we could have a better view of the Seine as we headed to Paris. After a minute or so we were greeted with an announcement in French. My understanding of French is minimal, but add an intercom to the language and it is basically inept. I heard a few words like “Paris” and “stop”. After the announcement a large amount of people exited the train. But we noticed a few people stayed on, and so we decided we would stick with the train as they probably just announced some delay (very common). After another few minutes the other people sitting by us exited, leaving us alone on the upper level. As we contemplated getting off the train started, closed its doors and headed down the track.

As it passed the first stop I got excited, thinking maybe it was going directly to Paris and wasn’t going to stop at any of the other stops, and thus getting us to the hotel even sooner. But after another few minutes the train began to slow down; and then it stopped. It hadn’t stopped at the next station, but rather in the middle of the track. There was no announcement. My mind began to race in trying to figure out what was going on when all of the sudden the trained turned off its engine and the lights went out. This is when your imagination can run wild.

I casually headed downstairs to verify the assumption: that we are alone. Confirmed. I then tried to go through the doors to the next car, but found that on this train you cannot move from car to car as the doors are locked. Many scenarios went through my mind. I wasn’t scared. My coworker was a little more concerned, but he basically stayed where he was and continued to state “I knew we shouldn’t have gotten on this train”. Here is a list that went through my head:
We can get out via an emergency exit but need to be careful as high speed trains also use these rails. Fortunately to our East was a wall and no track. This was a feasible plan to exit on that side and walk to the next station.
Is there a way I can communicate to the conductor? Many trains have buttons to talk to him/her. This one did not. There was an emergency stop handle with a large sign (in French) stating that to pull this in a non-emergency was a crime and you will be punished. Was this an emergency? Will pulling the lever cause damage to the train?
Maybe we should just wait this out. The train has to move at some point.
Tevia is waiting for me. The ONE DAY I get to leave early and THIS happens!

After another minute or so I decided to call our office. I spoke to one of my coworkers who was shocked at our situation and she urged me to pull the emergency lever. I protested, but she persuaded me that this WAS an emergency and that I should just pull it and let her know what happens. I hung up and decided it was a good idea considering the conductor may not stay long on the train (maybe he has already left?). So I pulled the red lever. Not much happened. A small noise sounded and a red light illuminated. But that’s it. And so I waited.

After what seemed like minutes a voice came through the speaker. He spoke French (and only French I confirmed with my basic French) and didn’t seem too happy. But I really couldn’t make out what he was saying and after trying to communicate with him the speaker went off and I stood there wondering what was going to happen. Would he now come and rescue us? Was he saying to chill out and hold on as the train will get moving in a few minutes? Did he yell at me and suggest I would be prosecuted for pulling the emergency lever?? My coworker noted that the conductor might be scared. For all he knew we were a bunch of killers luring in the French conductor. Or even worse, he knew we were alone and was coming to take out some stupid American tourists. I figured he’d seen a few too many horror films and told him this was the best story he was getting from this trip and to sit back and enjoy. We did sit back for quite some time.

Another long stretch and then we heard a key in the lock. Somebody was coming in. The conductor arrived spouting French and gesturing us to follow him. He led us out of the car onto the ground (on the safe side of the train) and pointed north. I figured, as did my colleague, that he wanted us to walk back to the station (probably a mile or so up ahead). But as we began walking he yelled at us and pointed to the next train car. He wanted us to go up into it. This seemed odd, but we did as he instructed – or at least what we think he instructed. He then led us deeper into the train and locked/unlocked dozens of doors as we headed down the long string of cars. I’m not sure why we had to exit the car we were in, but we didn’t have to do that on any other car. Eventually we got to the front/back of the train. I assumed he would then have us leave the train and walk, but I was once again incorrect. He got on the phone and I heard him call the last station and mention that he was going back there and to stop any trains on that track. I’m sure he added some commentary like “I have these idiot Americans that I have to take back to Soutreville so please stop all trains during rush hour to accommodate them.” The train began to move and we quickly arrived at the stop and were invited to get off the train. As we exited the train he blew the horn, which was quite loud and startling. I’m guessing he did this as a goodbye present – but we didn’t look back to give him any satisfaction that he scared us or anything. We acted like it was entirely normal as an American to be stranded on a train and then be driven back to the last station during rush hour.

During this time I actually called the office again and assured them we were safe and being saved. They informed us that the trains had stopped due to a bomb scare at one of the stops and thus all trains on that route were being shut down. It must have just happened when we got on as it wasn’t on the monitors when we got on back at the office; but it was at this point. This meant we had to take the long way home via train. I couldn’t believe my luck. On the one day I left early I not only get stranded on a train but then have to take a completely different train home which takes twice as long. Meaning that I actually wouldn’t get home until even later than usual. As I stewed on this thought and waited for the next train, another train from the same line arrived. This was the line that was closed. But when it arrived it opened its doors. It was like it was teasing me. “Get on board, silly American, let’s see if you will fall for this one again”. My companion insisted on not getting on the train, but as I saw other people get on I decided to go for it. And to our joy it was the right choice. We made it quickly and without incident back to our stop and were still back to the hotel before 7 pm. And I got to leave Paris with a great story.