This past week or so I've been involved in quite a bit discussion about, and with, old friends (from high school and whatnot). I have a friend here in my ward who is from Cali. Her name is Jamie (yes Tevs, I've told you about her), and she is VERY attached and close to her friends from her high school. She's from a small town in Northern California called Lakeport. She and I have had a number of conversations about how she can't understand why I'm not really close to anyone I went to school with, and I can't understand why she can't live in the present. She's actually expressed that she wishes sometimes that she could call Provo "home" like me. Not that I want to live here... but that "home is where the rump rests." She says she wants to move on and live in the present but doesn't know how. Not that she wants to cut her ties with her old friends completely, but she wants to be able to more fully enjoy the new relationships she has the chance to make here and now. Also, she has a "boyfriend" that she's dated for the past 4 years up until this last summer. They "broke up" because he's not a member and other than that she sees him pretty much as the perfect guy. So now, although she wants to move on, she is basically completely under this guy's spell.
Also, Christina Metcalf, a girl I went to school with who now lives in Tucson, and I have recently got back in touch with each other and have talked on IM quite a bit. She and I were always good friends through school but never dated. We still wouldn't given the chance, but I consider us good friends. She was talking the other day about our old classmates, most of whom she still keeps close contact with. She said she's been disappointed with many of them because of who they've become, and pleasantly surprised at other for the same reason... However, she herself doesn't feel as though she's changed at all since high school. I can't help but think that's in part because it's somewhat true.
Just like Jamie, (although maybe not to the same degree) Christina has never moved on from high school or given themselves the chance to grow up and become who they need or want to. This said, I'm actually glad I have had the chance, (and took it) to get out of my home town and live... even if not to the fullest extent that I sometimes would like to due to the cost... but all in all like my new friends and the ever evolving new me. I still really love and care about just about everyone from my past... after all, they all contributed in one way or another to who I am now... but I think more than anything, my friends now are those that are helping me become who I want to become.
I don't think one must completely abandon past relationships to make new ones, but I think the person that can't let go (even just enough to make new relationships) is at such a disadvantage in life... What a big and exciting world we live in... filled with so many people to meet and things to do and see!!! I plan on filling my life with all the new I can while I can. However, due to recent events, I've also realized that I could (and probably should) find a little more room in my life for those from my past... just because I've been able to move on without looking back or thinking twice about a lot of things or people (mostly for my own sanity and protection) I've realized there are people from my past that are still good friends and who could benefit from me and me from them.
1 comment:
For some of us it is easy to look forward and move on. For others it is easier to look back and stay. Certainly our pasts are an important part of who we are, but in the end, to me, the only people who really will stay in your life from birth to death are your family members. I believe the key is to stay close to them, as they will always be there to support you. Friends come and go. Sometimes they even come back. They are important elements in our life and bring us joy and teach us. I love having friends and have had many close friends. But in the end, the people I most want to be with are my wife, my kids, my parents, and other family members (including Mr. Webb). I often find it amusing to talk with people who never leave their past. I guess that is what makes them happy. I remember a talk a few years ago that mentioned we must live more in the now. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live NOW. This seems to be a key to a satisfying life.
Post a Comment