Well, I finally got around to watching the new version of Pride and Prejudice last night (with Keira Knightly). Let me preface this with the fact that I love this book. It is one of my favorites and I savored most of the book. It is always difficult watching movies based on books you really enjoy because they can so often ruin it. A case in point is Tevia rereading the Lord of the Rings and realizing how different the movies are. Now she tends not to like the movies. I understand they are different mediums and can tolerate differences (though they totally messed up Faramir!).
I was excited to see the movie as I love Keira Knightly (since Star Wars Episode I). It has also received great reviews, but that often matters little. I had planned on watching only the first half as I was quite tired, but that plan failed. I watched all two hours and loved almost every minute of it. I was blown away with some of the performances. Keira Knightly, who I love mostly because she looks like Natalie Portman (Tevia?), looked and acted eerily like Winona Ryder in Little Women. That isn't a bad thing, just odd. Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfayden) was fantastic - I can't imagine a better performance of his character. It seemed to follow the story quite well (from my memory) and brought out all of the emotions that, to me, make the book a classic.
As I sat and cried large tears (I am a baby in some movies), I thought of a couple of things. First off: so many of these books (movies) are the same. Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, you fill in the blank. They are all about women so concerned about getting married. This doesn't mean they are bad or even boring, but really, they are all basically the same story. Second: true love is rare these days. Let me expound.
I am a true believer in true love. To me, true love is different than being in love. We can fall in love many times. I think National Geographic had a wonderful article last month about "love" and how it is really like a mental sickness. We fall in and out of love (or we CAN) throughout our lives, even with the same people (i.e. I may love my wife, then not, then be in love again).
But true love is something more. True love, from a big picture, has more to do with our spirits. It is a connection beyond the physical and transcends the physical. It is a part of our being. I think deep down we all want to feel this true love. We all want this feeling a part of someone. But for true love to develop, it takes patience and time. I don't think you fall into true love. It develops as you get to know someone. Similar to Mr. Darcy and Lizzy, at first you may not even like that person. But as you grow and they grow, you realize that you are a better match together. The sum is worth more than the individual pieces. So why don't people experience this nowadays? I think it is due to an increased physicallity of relationships. Since most of the world can now go out and have sex at any point with any person, that fulfills a physical desire and may even lead to love. But it limits us from seeking what we truly desire. It is like being in a candy store surrounded by millions of candies for the taking. But there is one candy in there that is so much better, so wonderful that we would gladly give up the rest of the candy. But if we stop and eat the candy around us, it eventually fulfills us enough to think we really don't want/need any more. So we give up - or perhaps a better word is we "settle."
So people end up marrying the wrong people, or give up on even finding true love. Relationships don't last - and even marriage can't bring that sense to find true love since the relationship has already "settled" prior to marriage. So millions, perhaps most people miss out on the great secret of life: true love. This is akin to the love of Christ; an unselfish love that makes you want to be better. It is like the love of a child, but more complete. And most people don't even know they have given up. Most of them don't even believe it exists. And so we have a world full of selfish, sad people. And they cry at movies like this but they don't really "feel" it. That is why, in my opinion, so many of these old stories bring such emotion to us. In the old days they had time to look and develop true love. And we can sense it while we read the words and see the images. But it has become a fantasy world that perhaps never existed.
I am here to say it exists - and it is one of the main reasons we are here on Earth. And I feel bad for the rest of the world (well, most of it) because I have found my true love. It wasn't an immediate thing. I didn't even fall in love at first sight (maybe lust, but hey, can you blame me?). But eventually as I got to know her I realized that I couldn't live without her. And I have been blessed enough to have been granted my wish for the past 10 years. I am no Mr. Darcy and Tevia is no Lizzy; we are Bret and Tevia. And our story is as strong and heartwarming as any book; just a little less dramatic.
6 comments:
Bret don't scare us so, Pride and Prejudice is a bad thing! True love does exist and I would know. Carolyn was the only thing in life able to alter my ego, rid me of mean judgement, and hold back my anger/tongue. But I feel like you have it all wrong. True love comes from service. If girls out here would recognize that, they wouldn't spend 4 years at BYU tring to find what you described. Instead, they would date those whom are worthy and compatible, then gain that love though sacrifice and service. These movies distort reality and I believe great men suffer in the courtship game. I had it easy. I mae a list of every girl I or any of my friends knew. I picked the best one and fell in love with her. If you don't believe me ask Cari. She has seen the notorious freshman noc lists! Too many of mine and Cari's friends finished shcool and went home to live with their parents. This in my opinon is the worst thing that a single girl can do. Regardless, they all have the same excuse. They all claim to have never felt any love. Why didn't they feel love? Becasue they turned down dates, worried to lead a person on they barely knew. Or they stopped dating a guy after one or two dates becasue they didn't feel "love". Mind you these girls also were of the opinion that they wouldn't kiss their suitor until they knew it was the right one... This also comes from movies such as these. Sometimes I feel the Church leaders don't help either. Nicole(Cari's Sister) had her stake president tell all the girls to delay getting married so they could serve missions. Many girls will be confused by this and spend valuable corting years in storage with some miracle furture of a million suitors when they get off the plane. Does this subject bother me... well maybe a little:-P Or maybe it is becasue my program and term paper for the semester are finnaly done and this is my first free night in two weeks! Either way, I proabably fit the position of early Mr. Darcy and will be happy to maintain my generalized and most likely unfair opinion on movies such as P&P. Salute~
Great thoughts, though I think you have confused a couple of things. I agree with some of what you say. I even agree love can come through service (this means men should serve women, too). But the girls you bring up are a minority (even among LDS girls). Few people wait to kiss until engagement - and few, if any, should. I think the girls you are talking about have a different scenario. I am talking about people in general, not just women. I think the issue is mainly that people don't know what love is. It is not infatuation. It is not lust. It is not feeling sorry for someone. It is a gift from God - and we need his direction and faith in him to obtain it.
That said, you still could learn a lot from P&P. You will love this movie one day. :-)
I just have to say, althought it is late, that I loved this movie. I have always liked the book, but they did such a fantastic job on the movie. It is always nice to see actors that can convince me that they are really feeling something. It is hard for me to generally believe actors, because I know that is all they are, actors who don't really feel what they are protraying per say. I loved watching the movie and remembering how amazing the feeling of falling in love was. The swooping feelings in your stomach, the tingles in your fingertips when you brush against the one you love, the agony of not being with that person all the time. I may not be the best romantic like Bret is, but I love when those feelings are stirred inside me. They make me feel closer to Bret and helps deepen the feelings that I have for him. I agree with Bret that true love is rare and that when you have it, you should hold on to it as hard as you can.
Girls are stupid gits... and they seem to be getting more stupid every day. (single girls... girls I have to deal with in the game of dating). I fear I have fallen victim of what Bret described. I will most likely end up settling.... Either that... or I'll end up with my cat named Mittens as I am currently planning on.
Seriously. I have to agree with Jacob on a number of his points. Movies/books like P&P seem to have ruined girls. They hope for fairy tale stories where everything has to be JUST as THEY plan it. That is also compounded by those same girls' parents (usually mother) probably because they (their mothers) didn't end up with the relationship they were planning on so they try to pick their daughters' relationships trying to find what they wish they could have had in their own ruined marriages... stupid people.
Some advice from Boba Fett on girls: You want to marry/date an independent woman. You only want to date/marry one woman, not a woman and her mom! Avoid plural marriage.
Paciencia amigo - no te preocupes.
My aim is to marry a girl whose parents are both dead. :)
Post a Comment