So- the story goes that someone in our ward took their 2 yr old daughter into the bathroom this past Sunday during sacrament and spanked her for acting up. Someone else was in the bathroom, and told this young mother that that was illegal, and that she could get reported and arrested for that. The young mother took her things and her daughter and left church, quite upset. The person who said the remark, (and I don't know who it is), called and apologized, but ruined that young mother's entire day. She spent hours looking it up on line to see if she could be reported and to see what was legal.
Jacob, are you going to spank adorable little Hazel? I can't picture that at all in my mind. :)
I know for sure Monica Woodin spanks her little trouble makers, and so does their grandma!
I wouldn't spank any of your kids as grandma, but I don't think it is illegal.
I guess it depends on the kind of spanking.
12 comments:
I believe in spanking. I think kids today are little brats because they don't get spanked for certain behavior. I don't think spanking is necessary for many occasions, but I will and do spank my kids when the need arises.
I don't know if my mom would spank my kids. My kids don't warrant being spanked hardly ever but I am sure she would if the need arose.
I don't feel like I am damaged at all by the many spankings I got as a child. I deserved most of them.
No, spanking is not illegal.
I'm torn on the subject of spanking. I think there is always a better way of disciplining. I have, however, only been a mom for 22 1/2 months now. so... we'll see...
I know that when I have seen a mother hit or spank her kid in public, it sure looks horrible. But I don't think it is illegal.
I am pretty sure it is not illegal. And to clarify Tevia's remarks, though we both think spanking is okay, I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've spanked our kids (combined). In the reading I have done, some experts say that spanking is okay if used properly. If used as an everyday discipline it is not very effective. If used in extreme situations (e.g. when a little child runs in the street) it can be very effective to let them know that the situations are either dangerous or unacceptable. I would say that is when we have used our spankings. But every child is different. Sometimes spanking may be completely useless on a child - and for others they may see it as abuse.
It is funny as this was brought up on a show I was watching a few weeks ago. Most parents who were 'pro' spanking would start out, "well I was spanked many times, and I deserved it!" So it would seem it is more likely to spank if you were spanked as a child.
My thoughts would be to use it sparingly. I think we as a society have shied away from any physical contact in recent years and I think it has had a negative overall impact that I don't think people would have guessed. If I am no longer afraid the teenagers or adults are going to beat me up if I am rude or do something wrong (as a child), then what is to stop me from doing it? We certainly don't want our children growing up in fear of their parents, but part of respecting your elders in the past had to do with the fact that you knew they could beat the tar out of you if they wanted to. =)
You'd better believe I'd spank Hazel or any other children we have if the deserved it! If Jacob would have the guts to do it is another story. :-) Also, I agree with Bret and Tevia, that's it's really why the child is getting spanked that is probably the issue. I'm not about to smack Hazel's butt every time she tries to eat a Blu-ray because that happens all the time and it's not a big deal. (Apparently she likes the taste of Ironman - go figure.) If she tries to stick a fork in an electrical socket, she'd probably get a swat. I think it's more about associating the fear (and possibly pain) of being spanked with the really bad things more than smacking the kid because he/she is being obnoxious.
Pure obnoxious-ness is a time-out time punishment in my opinion. Hazel's been having time-out since she was 4 weeks old but we haven't had occasion to spank her yet. :-)
Also, the MOST important thing to me is that if the parent needs to spank the child, it CANNOT be done in anger. The line is too thin there. If the parent doesn't have control, then hand the kid off the the other parent or take a breather and deal with the actual punishment later.
I'm sure I did get spanked as a child, so maybe that has colored my opinion of the subject. I don't remember being spanked more than a couple of times, but I'm sure it happened. As we got older, my parents tried more "imaginative" punishments, like writing essays about lying or (only once that I can remember, people) getting slapped straight across the face. But with any luck, our kids will be perfect and will never really need discipline, right? :-)
One thing I do feel really strongly about is that I don't want grandmas or anyone else spanking my kids. If the kids need to be spanked, that's up to us and Jacob and I should be making that decision. It's not like I'm going to hate anyone that does it and I understand that sometimes the situation merits "drastic" measure, but I think that if at all possible, strong discipline like that needs to come from the parents. The child is the parents' responsibility and more parents need to take that responsibility.
Spanking is okay. They try to tell us in some of our classes (all of my classes deal with these kind of situations with children) that it is not the right way to discipline but I think like you all said, that it is necessary at times. Kids need to have some harsh punishments otherwise they do not learn anything and they become the parents.... like my nanny kids.
I know I'll spank my kids when they need it. A little stung behind is better than a lot of other things like getting hit by a car.
Good to know all this. I will spank Bret's kids, but not Jacob's. :)
Just kidding. I wouldn't spank any of them, but, likely, they are all too good to ever need it. They have such great parents!
I've been thinking about this more, and have to agree with Cari. Spanking should not be done out of anger. I think some parents get so frustrated and impatient that spanking happens. Spanking should not be done to take out any anger, that is not the kids fault. A controlled situation where it's called for and you are aware of what you're doing is fine. But an uncalled for punishment just because you're so pissed off is not ok.
Ellery knows darn good and well what spankins are! However, I don't think she knows what they're really for. She gets hard spankins from me ALL the time (Millie thinks they're too hard) but they're done when I'm hugging her and we're playing and she's (we are) happy. Hard to explain. Guess it's kinda like Jarek and Malik getting wedgies from me.
I've only REALLY spanked Ellery as a punishment a few times, despite what Millie may think and they probably weren't really warranted since it was for her playing and talking to herself when she was supposed to be napping. Those spankins are usually done in anger and I know they're not good or right... it's something I need to repent of. Millie is good at reminding me to "be nice." Our kids are (will be) lucky to have her as a mommy!
If we're in public and Ellery needs to be set in line (which really isn't THAT often) she usually gets popped in the mouth, not hard, but she knows that means she's in trouble.
Having bounds for children is VERY important. Nothing makes me feel the end is near more than when I see the way children are being raised these days... why, in MY day... yadda yadda yadda. I guess every generation thinks the world and society are going down the crapper, probably because it's true.
Anyway, back to topic, I'm fine if grandparents punish my children, but I honestly can't ever see them (even my parents) punishing my kids... grandparents are soft in the autumn years, and I can't help but think they like to make grandchildren as spoiled and rotten as possible to get back at their children! :)
Don't spare the rod!
Why does everyone think the line has to be drawn at spanking? I'm much more of a paddle fan myself. Wooden spoons also seem rather effective. I could go so far as a Wii Remote, but that could cause emotional damage if my kids are in love with video games.
I must be good at discipline, becasue I rarely have to babysit anymore. Ignoring babies when they cry seems like a perfect punishment to me. My best friend's wife seems to disagree and even Cari seems to think I punish Hazel too much this way. Ironically, Hazel makes it perfectly clear she likes me more when in the room. I think people love those that give them boundries. Yeah, God does that too.
Yeah, I think boundaries really are the key here!
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