shoes, towels, and computers

shoes, towels, and computers and nintendos everywhere I look, must be my kids are all in town!
what fun I am having watching you all. thanks for coming. I love being together. it was a blessing to have 4 children, especially wonderful ones like you! this includes Jacob Webb and of course, Cari.
I hope you guys are having a nice time.

2nd Hottest Day...the Saga Continues

The car doctor called me this morning and said the car needed a new fan. He said the fan wasn't working and it would cost me a good $500 to fix it. Being skeptical of all doctors, car or human, I told him I'd think about it. I went online to see the cost of the fan for the Stratus and saw that you can actually just replace the fan motor for around $60. So I called the car doctor back and asked if we really needed to replace the whole fan (really two fans) or if we could just replace the motor. "Well, we could do that," was his reply. I noted how this seemed a much better option to me, as it was about 400 dollars cheaper. "But you don't know if the other motor will go out," he replied. "I don't know when anything on my car will break, otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?" The conversation from this point need not be detailed except that my last words were, "don't touch my car, I'll pick it up after work." In my mind I added, "how stupid do you think I am?"

After discussion with friends, I am thinking that it might just be the thermostat. A good friend at work said what I needed was somebody who just works on cars at their home. They are cheap, honest, and good. So I called our home teacher who happens to have a brother-in-law who works on cars at home. They take their cars to him. Since I figure you can't really screw up a car that overheats, I took it to his house and look for a diagnosis tomorrow. I am hoping the words "thermostat" and "cheap" are somewhere in the diagnosis.

I have heard that Dodge has now offered their employee discount to me. I'm thinking a nice Dodge Grand Caravan with Sto and Go seating would look awful nice in Slave I's cargo hold.

Surprise!

Bret, did you know that Brent Butler lived in Mesa? Of course not, since you likely do not even know who Brent Butler is. Well he is one of my very many cousins that you guys have basically never met. Any way his mom is Verla Butler who is my mom's sister. Verla unfortunately was killed in a car accident in SLC yesterday. Verla and Dale were close to us when we were kids and we used to visit their farm in Idaho quite often.

Hottest Day of the Year

I'm not sure if today was the hottest day of the year, but if it wasn't, it sure seemed like it. I think it was around 116 degrees. I understand that many humans don't like the heat. It's no fun to run around in. But our cars should understand that we need them the most on days like this. On the way home from work yesterday, the car got hot again (see posting about July 4 weekend). I hoped it was just a fluke and tried again today.

Of course, after sitting in the hot sun for 8 hours, the Stratus decided she didn't want to work any more. She got hot. I stopped. It happened to be the one day that I actually forgot my cell phone, due to it not being the right place this morning since I used it for a conference call I took from home at 6 AM. So I couldn't call anybody. So I decided to put the heat on (hey, it's not like it could make it any HOTTER than 116 degrees, right?), rolled down the windows, and made for the auto shop.

Of course, it cooled off on the way there and by the time I got to the auto shop she was nice and cool. I stated as nicely as I could to the auto shop guy that cars suck, it's dang hot, and go shoot my car. Then I started the nice walk home in 116 degree heat in my nice black pants and business clothes. Hey, it was only a mile or so. When I got home, I realized I didn't have the garage door opener, so I took the Wookie - who was much more willing to drive in the heat - to get it. When I got back I realized that my Jeep keys don't have a key to enter the garage door! I had locked this on the way out, something I NEVER do, but thought it a good idea since the kids were skateboarding in our driveway.

So I went around back, sweating nicely in my clothes to get the spare key to the back door. FORTUNATELY I had left the gate unlocked. However, upon arriving at the back I could not find the key! Tevia had moved it from the non-secret hiding place. I imagined that she must have given it to the Bennions or something as I began to dread the fact that I was locked out.

Eventually I found the key in another place and was able to enter Slave I and feel the nice air conditioning. I guess we all need days like this to appreciate how wonderful we usually have it. I hope the car doctor finds out what's wrong with the Stratus. Maybe she's just moody - she is getting old!

MIA

So I guess I gave Tevs a bit of a scare... I was MIA this weekend in California. I had the best trip!!! We started off on Wednesday night and went to St. George and spent the night with the Hoth's (my old roommates I went with) cousin. He is the course pro at Coral Canyon Golf Course there. So, Thursday morning we got up and got to play a round of 18 for free!! We did have to pay for the cart though... but 17 bucks for for a championship course!! it was great!!! The carts were equipped with GPS that told you exactly how far from the pin you were, and gave you tips on hitting, and a map that showed you exactly where you are on each hole... it was SO nice!!! Then we went on to Buena Park California where Brian, (my other old roommate lives) and stayed with his family. Then we got up early on Friday and went to Disneyland where Brian's brother (Scott, who works as one of the characters at Disneyland) got us into the park for free... that included the park hopper pass to both California Adventure and Disneyland plus a fast pass which allows you to go through lines faster.... not that we really needed them... it was a great day to be at D-land, we didn't wait more than about 10 min for any ride!! And any line that we would have had to wait longer in, we either used our fast pass, or went on as single riders, after all, it was just the four of us guys so we didn't care if we were together or not. Anyway, I have tons of pix, you'll probably see them when I come out to NY. Anyway, Saturday, we went and play a round of 9 holes at an executive course, then finished the day at Huntington Beach... not my favorite California beach, but there were some decent waves for boarding at least. Anyway, Sunday morning, we got up and went to a Las Vegas singles ward where the Hoth's uncle is bishop. We were back in Provo by 9pm.
That sums up my weekend... I'm looking even more forward to THIS weekend!! Bret, I'm still bringing my clubs, right? What day are we planning on playing? Saturday morning, early?

A Walk in the Dark

I just got back from a long walk through a different part of our neighborhood, one I haven't been to before. It is up on Banff street, whatever Banff is. It was a refreshing evening and I thought a nice walk would help get rid of this terribly yummy coconut cake that my will can not avoid.

This part of our area is full of ranches; not the homes, but horse ranches. The whole street is literally almost all horse ranches. In the dark, with hardly any street lights, it felt like I was in a different world. The air was cooler due to the lawns with moisture. The smell was of manure, hay, and fresh cut grass. The sounds were of horses naying and dogs barking. The homes were larger and looked inviting; something very different from most homes in Phoenix. It was like a new world. And who new it was just two or three streets up from where I live?

As I walked in the dark and felt nervous for one of the only times due to the quiet obscurity, I thought of what a neat lesson this is. Sometimes we are so sheltered in our little worlds, we don't even notice the little difference right next to us; forget in other cities and countries. Many of these homes had front porches with people sitting on them. I can't remember the last time I have seen something like that. It is like I turned back in time to the 60's or something. Nobody sits on front porches in AZ. It is a backyard society, with walls all around so nobody can see you. It brought a nice feeling - even though I don't really like horses. I wonder if Tevia has ever walked up there. She would love it.

Speaking of Tevia, I am alone. She is in NY with my two boys. I already miss them. I miss Malik's "six minutes" and "you mean Starfox?" comments. I miss Jarek's imagination and genius mind. I miss Tevia's big smile and her love for me. I can't wait to see them again.

Church alone is very different than with a family. I was able to really pay attention in sacrament and felt the spirit very strongly. Strong enough that I actually did some home teaching today. 1 family down, three to go. My companion is still MIA. He has been missing for four months now. Nobody knows where he went.

movies anyone?

Hi all. If there is a movie that you have been wanting to see on DVD, let me know and I will put it on my netflix queue. I will be getting my movies in new york while we are out there. Just let me know and I will add it on! Can't wait to see everyone.

terror

Why is it that whenever you guys come to town they raise the terror alert level? the city is now filled with more police and armed men checking subways. the level in the city has been changed to orange.

Busy Much?

It has been a busy week. It seems like I type that a lot lately. Maybe life just continues to get busier, so maybe a better sentence would be, "I am getting old." I was sad that Jake and Cari couldn't come down this week. It would have been a nice reprieve. I am getting sad as Tevia and the boys are leaving Saturday. Tonight I played football and soccer with the boys and realized how old they really are getting. We played tackle and it was a lot of fun.

So I've realized it is darn difficult to find Brazilian music online - legal Brazilian music. So I feel like I am almost forced to turn to other options to get Brazilian music. I don't understand why Americans just don't listen to music in Portuguese. Come on people! Now Spanish (and by Spanish I mean Spanish language) music is quite easy to find. Alejandro Sanz, Juanes, Shakira...they are quite popular. That stuff is good, too! I must admit - I LOVE Shakira's new song with Alejandro (La Tortura) - though the video is kind of freaky. It is in my head constantly. I hope she comes here in concert - she is somebody I would actually pay to see. I haven't been to a concert since seeing Live in Utah with Tevia 8 years ago.

post camp

I could write for hours about camp. It rained all the time, the girls from Long Island were hard to deal with, my nurse was unreliable, every minute someone was calling, "Sister Wall", since they didn't know Ann Rawlings and there were no other stake leaders. we were always wet with sweat and or rain, I never sat down for more than five minutes, I missed a lot of lunches and dinners and had carrots and granola bars, and I slept 6 hours a night. all in all, I loved it. it was the hardest thing I have done in years, physically and emotionally and spiritually. what a challenge. I survived and am better for it. we had several miracles, big and small. I fell in love with so many of the young women. I felt the Lord's hand during the week. I felt I had been prepared by already having learned to delegate and then let things go. things fell through, fell apart, etc, but it was ok, and I never got upset or mad. on Thursday morning, the morning of the hikes, we awoke at 6 am to have to shower and get the girls up for scripture reading at 6:30. OH how I was tempted to stay in bed, (well, that is not the word for the uncomfortable broken dirty cot I slept in). it was raining again, and I thought, heck, why not just all stay in our tents and sleep in? what's the use getting up to be rained on again. but Ann and I read some scriptures, skipped a shower, (no reason to), and woke up the sleepy girls. by hike time, the sun was out and they had 3 solid hours to hike. yeah!!! I grew in many ways this week. I also worked harder than I have in over 10 years, physically. wow. I am proud that I could do it. I ended up with no ticks on me, not even a single mosquito bite, a few blisters from continually sweeping bat poop up, and I lost a few pounds. not bad.....

Do Not Enter

This morning I woke up a little earlier so that I could hitch a ride with Rose to work. The plan was to have Tevia and the boys pick me up at 4 PM to make the trip up to Lakeside for the weekend. This plan tends to work the best as it reduces the amount of pre-trip stress. Tevia showed up and I got in the car on this 112 degree day to head up North.

About 2 miles down the road we noticed that the temperature gauge was nearly at the red line. This was odd since last week we had the pleasure of taking the Stratus in due to the same reason. The nice car doctors diagnosed a faulty water pump and gladly accepted our hundreds of dollars to surgically repair the car. It was fixed on Monday and all week both Tevia and I had driven the car without the slightest hint of problem. It appeared the doctors had gotten it right.

So it was frustrating as we were at the very beginning of a 4 hour trek to the North on one of the hottest days of the year to see the symptom return. As it got hotter and hotter (according to the gauge), we decided that it wasn't the best idea to start a trip like this. So we stopped and took a look. The coolant was boiling and overflowing out of the "escape hatch" - or overflow tube. This was the clincher, so we decided to just pack up and go home. Tevia and Jarek were distraught at the idea of not being able to go up to Lakeside. They were both in tears. So as I drove West toward Slave I (the name of our homestead) I noticed the temperature went back down to normal. After a few miles in rugged rush hour traffic, not once did it even try to go above the midline. At this I thought, well, maybe it was just a fluke. Perhaps there was too much coolant and somehow this caused it to not perform well and not it was able to release the excess and we'll be fine. I thought we could at least turn around and drive for a few miles to see how the car reacted. As we neared the exact same spot we had turned around before, the car started getting hot again. It was crazy - like a sign. Like a blatant "Do Not Go" sign from our car.

Once again we turned back home and drove back. Not once in the 30 minute drive home did the car ever get hot again. It stayed steady and cool. Needless to say I am taking it back tomorrow to have them investigate, as I invested quite a bit in their prognosis and surgery. My thoughts are that the fan is not working - so I hope they have proof that the water pump was truly the issue last week. But the strange thing was how it only got hot as we headed to Lakeside. It truly seemed like some kind of sign that we should not go. Perhaps it was. As an optimist, I think perhaps had we gone something bad would have happened - or if we stay something wonderful will happen. Tevia, like most sane humans, just goes on about how cars are the scourge of the human race and money pits - both very true statements. The Wookie (our Jeep) could have been used, but this would have costed us a small fortune with the current gas prices. So it looks like we will stay in Fire City for the long weekend. Thank goodness we have a pool.

Either way I get Monday off - so it is good for me!

New York City

Bret and I were discussing the trip to NYC and were just wondering what everyone else was planning or expecting to do while down in the city. First, we were really wanting to take the train, as Bret and I both would much rather do that than drive down as it is easier, and cool to go to grand central station. We figured that Jake Webb would want to do that as he hasn't yet. We couldn't remember if Jake Wall had taken Cari on the train or not yet so didn't know if she wanted to do that too. While down there did any of you have any idea what you wanted to do? We figured we would go to times square, empire state building, ground zero, battery park, fao Swartz, eat pizza, get peanuts and that was what we pretty much wanted to do. We didn't know if you all had anything else you wanted to do.

Jake Webb, was there anything else you wanted to do while we are in New York? We were thinking of going to the Mansions, and maybe either Minnewaska (a really cool place) or Mohaunk(sp?). Bret mostly just wants to hang out, go golfing, play tennis and basketball and eat at the cullinary.

I know Cari and Jacob are going to be there the last week, so if there are things you want to do with all of us, let us know. If you want to do things alone, too bad! J/K!!! :) We thought it would be fun if we went to Mohaunk and hiked and had lunch there at the hotel. Bret is checking on that to see what the cost would be and if they charge for hiking.

Anyhow, any input would be great so we can start budgeting out for the things we are planning on doing. I think that we will probably still be going up to New Englad for either a day or overnight as well. Hope you all are doing well. We are getting so excited to see everyone.

For Cari, and Mom and Kathy if you are interested. One of the things I want to do is go to that day spa again. Anyone interested?

Also, to Mom, are Kathy and Tommy going to be going to the City with us when we go down there? Just wondering.

Got to go get my kids to PT. Take care.

camp

as I head out to girls camp this morning, say a prayer that the ticks are few and far between, the storms are not as severe as they are predicting, the spiders don't bite, and the bats don't scare all the girls. the bat poop falls out of the ceiling as we walk, and that is gross. the mice ate big holes out of the mattresses in the nurses cabin, where I am sleeping. this should be fun!
Kathy and Fred and Sarah, Eric, and their baby Trevor come in tomorrow night for the night, so Kathy and I will run home for dinner and get a cool shower and a break.
Bret, Jarek Young lives in Phoenix now. do you want me to work on getting a phone number?
and so does Bryant Hettinger and his wife, Kristi. she is a chef at a fancy resort there, so it may be fun to have them for dinner one night.
I leave this message to all my children this week, as I already miss Tom, ( he left this morning at 4 am for scout camp), : "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth"
3 John 1:3-4?
love you all! mom

Chicken Pox??????

Well, my kids were exposed to the chicken pox by kids who have come down with them. They were exposed on the most contagious days, two days in a row! The crazy thing is, the girls who have the chicken pox were both vaccinated! My kids were also vaccinated too, but apparently this doesn't make that big of a difference. According to my friend though, this strain is very mild for the kids who have had the vaccination. This is a heads up just in case my kids break out with it. There is a chance they could by the time we leave for New York, as there is a two week gestation perioed from the time of exposure. I just hope and pray that they don't get it. Is everyone else immune or inoculated?

yucky day

I lost my keys, which I have never done before, ( and I think Kathy did actually), I spent weeks getting daddy to measure my front room windows for blinds, and spent $60. and none of them fit and I bought them too small and they were specially cut so I can't return them. I am so sick of working on girls camp items and problems that I don't even want to go next week, I can only drink 8 oz of fluid every hour all day and nothing after midnight cause I get my fun colonoscoly tomorrow. I got yelled at yesterday by dad and Kathy. Tom is always on the computer and has a bad back again so can't do yardwork or play sports, so I am going to my blog buddies for a bit of sympathy. yep, that feels better already. when you write it all down, it doesn't look so bad. dad just called and he's not mad at me. it isn't 114 degrees here. the kids are both gone for a 3 hour chem test, they found that little scout in UT, camp will be over soon, and you will all be here! ah, the spiral of life.

Too Hot!!!

I have just decided that it is too hot in Arizona. Now you might think that I would have already come to this conclusion years ago, but I am making it official right now on this here blog. It got up to 114 today. Almost a record, which was 115 in like 1968. Global warming anyone?

The boys and I went to a friends house (Suzette Haynie) after physical therapy to hang out and swim since we hadn't seen them in a year or so. We got in our suits and jumped in the pool, and after about 30 minutes we decided that it was just too hot even to swim. The sun was pounding on us and the sunblock on our children's faces was melting into their little eyes. So we all headed back into the sanctuary of the air conditioned house and listened to seven little kids playing together. It was nice catching up with my friend and another friend (Bridget) who popped in after hearing I would be there visiting. I am grateful for friendships that pick up right where they left off even after not having seen each other for a year.

So, back to too hot. This heat wave really couldn't come at a more inconvenient time! Our Stratus is currently being moody. Meaning that it is overheating. Well duh, you might say, it is hotter than fire and brimstone so why wouldn't the car get temperamental? We made it home from Suzette's without a hitting the H line, but I had to turn the air off, so the last five minutes to the house were very sweaty indeed! And as luck would have it, we hit every red light possible on the way home.

So being the frugal person I am , I decided to trouble shoot this problem myself. The cap on the coolant reservoir is basically non-functional, (cracked and falling off) so I whip out the handy dandy owner's manual and looked up the pertinent info. It seems that I will be able to replace the whole reservoir myself. I figure that if that is indeed the problem I will only be out the 15 bucks for the part, plus of course the ten pounds I will lose sweating to death changing it. I would hate to take it in and that be the problem and they charge me 40 bucks labor for them sweating, plus 30 bucks for the part! I hope it fixes the problem, otherwise I will have to take it in. Wish me luck on my car escapade tomorrow.

I miss you Bret. I hope no crazy people call me tonight because you know how my imagination gets going. I told Kathy and Paul that I would call them if I heard anything strange and they promised they would call 911 for me! LOL. Here's looking forward to your safe return on Friday!

too nice

I have just decided I am too nice to everyone. and it seems to be a fault when I thought it was a good thing, so I guess you got it from me. oops, so sorry.

The Fragile Ego

Today I experienced some feelings I haven't felt in a while. My team had a meeting with my manager, the VP of International Operations - which we do every few months. This gives them an opportunity to give feedback directly to the VP without having to filter it through me. It also gives them an opportunity to give feedback to the VP about the Directors (me). Later on in the day I had a meeting with my boss to go over the feedback.

As a background, I have a reputation around the office as being the boss that everyone wants to work for. I'm the guy that they are "grooming" to be a future leader of the company. I am used to hearing very positive feedback. I am not used to hearing any negative feedback. And I don't expect to. Why would I? I am a great worker and have years of experience behind me that help me deal with every situation perfectly, no?

Well, I got plenty of positive feedback, but then I was given some constructive feedback that my team had shared with my boss. The feedback ranged from being too nice, to not giving enough constructive feedback, to being too happy all of the time, and being more of a leader and less of a "friend." My boss did an excellent job of sharing this information with me and letting me know that this feedback was to make me a better manager. These weren't horrible things, certainly, but areas that I can improve in order to help my team as well as become a better person.

And the truth is I would agree with all of the feedback. I am too nice sometimes. I do have difficulty sharing negative feedback with my employees. I tend to focus on the positives, and this may limit my team from progressing since I am not helping them to improve. This is all very logical, but when I am hearing it, and maybe even agreeing with it, the voice inside my head starts getting quite defensive. Excuses come into mind as I think, "yeah, well what do they know." Or "sure, I could handle it like that, but my way is better." Once in a while a voice might pop up and say, "what loser on my team said that!" And all of these are emitting from a protected, fragile thought in my mind that realizes that I am not perfect. Certainly, logically, I know I am not perfect. But it sometimes hurts to hear other people notice that. Even as I smiled and appreciated the feedback, and agreed, and wrote down notes as my boss spoke, feelings I haven't felt in a long time whirled inside of me. Feelings of fear, despair, failure, and exclusion. Had I been alone tears may have even come to my eyes.

I found this to be such an interesting reaction. Words meant to help me, and surely meant in no way to demean or discourage me, were taken to a certain point to be hurtful and cutting. Who cares if the team told her they wouldn't want to work on any other team? Who cares if they said I was the reason they worked at Prudential? There was something about me they didn't like. How could that happen? I went back to my desk and finished the day waiting to blog about it. This was fascinating to me. I never realized how immune I had become to negative feedback. I never realized, conciously at least, how fragile my ego had become.

It became very evident that we, as humans, indeed need to be humbled from time to time in order to improve. The Book of Mormon, so evident of God's wheel of humility, points this out - and we read it and say, yeah, that is great. But how true it is! On a greater scale of importance, this is what I need in the Church also. Will I do my home teaching if all I get is a phone call once every three months asking if I did it? I don't think so. I need someone to slap me in the face and say "do your home teaching or you are going to hell" - or something equivalent to that. And I need to believe it. The prophets talk about how if we do not improve, we are just getting worse. We must progress or fall. There is no neutral ground.

And so, just weeks after my ego-tripping blog, I am put back into my place. I am not perfect. I am not the perfect manager. I can, and must, improve. I owe it to myself, my team, and my employer. How much more do I owe my family and friends; my God? What if we had monthly meetings with God on our progress here? Could we survive letting down our God? Is this why he leaves us alone to have faith? Letting him down would destroy our egos. And yet we do it every day.

Tomorrow I head back to work with a team that knows I am not perfect. I go back with goals to improve. I go back with my head a little lower, my strut a little smaller. I go back knowing I can improve. I go back knowing that my ego is fragile. I go back knowing I am human. I go back hoping God doesn't come visit me and give me some constructive feedback.

weekend warior

Ok, so this last weekend I went on a couple of dates. You remember the 29 year old (Angela)?... So were supposed to go out last Wednesday, but I called and cancled on her becuase I forgot about a city league soccer game I had on Wednesday... but I told her I'd give her a call sometime to go out next week, or something. Well, she ended up calling me on Thursday and asked if I would go with her to an art show in Salt Lake because she has a friend that was displaying art there. I said yes and we went out for sushi at Benihana's then to the show. It was a fun date. Afterwards I dropped her off without having any plans for a third but we left the door open for it.

Well... the next day (Saturday) I was golfing with my roommmates from last year and I got a text messege from her. She asked me if I wanted to come over that night to make and eat pizza and watch Star Wars (Episode IV). We had talked about watching the original trilogy before, but I was thinking we would start the day after a date... but, I said it sounded fun, and we set a time.

We made pizza, and watched the movie. It was a good "date" and I still think she's very cute and fun... However... I'm not sure if I really see it going anywhere. We've talked about her ex-husband. They seem to be good friends still and he is very involved in their son's life. She didn't really have a reason for why they got divorced other than "it just didn't work out"... she also threw out the "I was too young when I got married" excuse. I think she was 20, they were married for 7 years, and have been divorced for 2.

Anyway... I don't know what to do. I'm not sure there is anything I should do. I don't get the impression that she's really all that into me, or that she's getting emotionally attached... it seems more like we're becoming "good friends, no benefits" kind of a thing. So at this point, I don't think I need to really bring up questions about the future of our relationship with her... do I?

The Scarlet Pimpernel

I was supposed to write this blog over a week ago, but anyway...
So a week or so ago, Jacob took me to see the Scarlet Pimpernel at an outdoor theater in Orem. Despite what he might think about it, it was a very fun date. He said that if it was a good date, I should write a blog about it, so yes, fiancee of mine, it was a good date! It did rain and the people sitting right in front of us did put up a monstrous umbrella that blocked the stage, but it was still fun. :-) The play itself was really well done and I had never seen it before, so that added to the excitement. There was this stray cat the tried to join the performance during the first act, but honestly, that was funny. I did feel bad for the actors when the cat ruined some of the more dramatic moments, but what can you do? The story was good, but I don't want to say too much because I don't want to give anything away. Just if you ever get the chance to see the Scarlet Pimpernel, go for it.