Turkeys and Leftovers

Well, it has been a while since I have had time to sit down and write something. The last few weeks have been so busy. Work has been crazy and then I took a week off for Thanksgiving. That week was fantastic. It started Friday after work on November 17th when we went up to Show Low for Brandt's farewell. We stayed at Quentin's place which was very nice. Warm with very tall kitchen cabinets. Honestly I don't think Jacob Wall could even reach the cabinets. Saturday morning we went to the Snowflake temple to see Brandt get his endowments. That was great. Sunday was his farewell. Brandt gave a fantastic talk - one of the best I have heard in a long time. It was good to see him as a man.

Saturday night I actually went to Wal-Mart for my brother to see if I could get him a Wii. I wasn't able to get him a Wii, but I was able to get him 3 controllers for my effort. It was weird waiting in a long line of nerds in a Wal-Mart in a small town, but it was a good memory. Since Jake did not get his Wii up in Utah either he left Utah early and came down with Cari and Kathy to AZ. It was fun seeing them when we got back to Phoenix. My parents and Tommy arrived on Tuesday and Jake Webb and Milli arrived on Thursday.

That week, besides being a great relief being away from work, was one of the most fun weeks in years. I loved being with everyone; just talking, playing some basketball, hiking camelback, etc. The weather was perfect. It was nice to be around family that you know cares for you and have fun.

Sunday we blessed Enok in church. Tevia's parents, Brandt, and Jim and Tammy's family came down as well. It was great blessing him with family support. Afterwards everyone had to leave. In fact, Jacob, Cari, and Kathy left right after the sacrament and had our kids and others in tears as we had to say goodbye. It was so touching to see our kids so emotional about saying goodbye to family. The only part that would have been better is when mom and pops and Tommy had their flight canceled they stayed at the airport for hours. They should have just come back to enjoy each other's company just a little longer.

After our wonderful week it was back to work. American Express, my new client, was in this week and we had training all week. I hardly got to even see my family. Monday night I got back late from a dinner. Wednesday night we went to a Phoenix Suns game (very fun - with great seats on the lower level!). It was great to see some old friends from some of the overseas offices and meet some new people. It made me want to work in one of the other offices so bad. So, though a very busy week with little time at home, it was a good one.

I did have something odd happen today at work. I was invited to a meeting in the afternoon for all directors. Upon entering the meeting we were asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement that we would not discuss anything that took place in the meeting. Having signed it, I can not comment at this time (as this blog is actually public), but I will let you know in a couple of weeks. It was the first time I have been asked to sign something like that, so it was a little odd.

This weekend I am looking forward to some rest (though I played ball at 5:30 AM this morning and will again tomorrow) and time with the fam. Great to see everyone and come back soon. The hummingbirds miss you.

blessings

sorry Tom, I won't brag about you, but I have to say that we are just blessed so generously in this family. truly.

Summer 2007

Ok, sorry to post again so soon. I know we kicked around ideas for next year, but I am going to throw out a different thing again. I was thinking that we bag San Diego until 2008. Jake and Cari probably wouldn't be able to go anyhow. We are now mostly planning on heading out to NY in the summer since my kids haven't been out there for awhile, and if we wait till Christmas to go out, that will be almost two years since they will have been out there. Far too long to not get to see their grandparents at their house. :)

So, if this is the plan, do we want to do a trip within a trip? You know like the beach (dare we try cape cod again?) Or maybe Jersey again. (since last time it wasn't all that great for me...) I don't know if we want to go all the way down to Virginia though. Those are a few ideas. I know we want to take our two older boys to NYC. We feel like they are old enough now to go down to the city and have that experience. Bret still has his two weeks of Paternal leave so we would have a solid two weeks to hang out. (If mom wants to house us for that long). Now that I know how much work it is to have people over for that amount of time I am shocked that she still likes us to come out. I will be extra better at pitching in!!

And we are for sure planning on coming there for Christmas since the last time we were there for Christmas was in 2003!! I can't believe it was that long ago, but it was. How sad. Malik was only like a year and a half old, well, almost two.

But back to the summer. If there is anyone that really wants to still do San Diego this year, speak up. We can't do all three (SD, NY summer, NY Christmas) but we can swing two of them.

About the timing, I was thinking end of June first part of July that way we could spend the 4th together. The end of July won't work for us though cuz it is my mom's 50th B-day and we are going to Mexico with them at the end of July. August could possibly work, but it would be really hard, especially if we are coming right off a trip from Mexico, but I know we had talked about Jarek maybe being baptized out there. Anyhow, we can figure all that out if we decide that we are going to go there in the summer.

k. let me know what all ya'll think.

tevs

Words of advice from one who learns the hard way.

Tidbits of advice:

#1 - Do not move into a large house upon getting married... you most likely will be overwhelmed with all the space after living in a small box of a room during your single years and won't have enough stuff to fill it up anyway.

#2 - Do not move into a house that has previously been (and is currently) decorated by someone else... especially if that person has VERY tacky taste!

#3 - Do not move into a house upon getting married where you will be the "care takers" of two old dogs that should have died years ago but for some reason beyond be keep hanging on to life, two cats that are in just as poor if not worse condition, and a horse that no one can ride because it was never broken... Who the heck is stupid/rich enough to pay to care for a large living lawn decoration?... i.e. a horse. Yes... I asked Mary (the owner) about this one... Lucky (the horse) was purchased as a lawn decoration.

#4 - Water leaking in your house from random walls is bad... especially if you find the source to be from the back yard... really not good... but since everything is frozen solid now... no more leaks! YAY!!!... at least till it thaws.

#5 - Do not have animals that live outside that must be cared for if you live in an area where temperatures get in the negatives which make even the simplest tasks such as watering your animals a royal pain.

#6 - Do not have animals.

#7 - Do not attempt to work full time, take care of a farm with animals, go to school full time, and be a newlywed... something WILL get neglected.

#8 - Do not have animals.

#9 - Eat. Your body WILL start doing weird things if you don't... (I'm still working on this... I promise I'll get better... someday).

#10 - No matter what... it COULD be worse... so be thankful it's not! Dispite the number of things that fill my life with chaos I have to admit, I'm so thankful to have a foundation to fall back on: My family, my in-laws, my extended family (including all of you), my friends, my beutiful wife and child to be, and probably most importantly my testimony.

Thanksgiving, My Version

Hi! I guess since I am the one with the most time on my hands these days I am the first one that is going to get to post. I am not going to make this long since I know Bret wants to post about Thanksgiving as well.

First off, I have to say that after this week I am very very tempted to buy the wii. I know, don't everyone faint all at once at this revelation. Even though I didn't play it one time, I think that it is a far better system to have than the game cube or the DS's. I was really impressed with the amount of movement involved with so many of the games. Am I going to get it for Christmas? Probably not. Maybe for my birthday!!! :)

Second. I was so amazed at how much I enjoyed having my house overrun with guests. In general I stress out a whole lot at the prospect of "hosting" a houseful. This gathering gave me a small glimpse into how mom might feel when we all come out and overrun her house. I learned a few things. #1: It is good to prepare a month or so in advance so as not to feel overwhelmed when the time is upon you. This is a little insight into the scriptural verse that says "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear. " I have a deeper understanding of that verse now! #2: Having family around gives everyone an opportunity to love each other and learn from each other in ways you can't get by email or phone calls alone. I have a deeper appreciation for each of you and continue to count myself lucky to be a part of this family. Do we all have things we need to work on? Certainly, but ultimately, we love each other and overlook or accept any strange quirks each of us may have. #3: It is awfully quiet and lonely when everyone leaves. I never realized how quiet it is around here without so many people occupying the space in our home. I miss all of you!!!
#4: My kids are continually learning the value of having close relationships with their family. Thank you so much for giving so much love and time to my kids. All three of them have benefited from your love and example. I am grateful to all of you for making them feel so loved. It makes me happy to know that they are sad when you all leave. I know they love you all so much and it helps them to look even more forward to the time we see you all again.

All in all I had a fantastic week. My only regret is that I didn't do a better job on the pictures. No, I am not fishing for compliments. I feel I didn't choose a good time and I didn't prepare very well. Next year, and this is a Bret's very good idea, we should really take pictures at the beginning of our time together that way it will be done and out of the way early and we can spend the last hours together without having to stress about how pretty we look on the last day!!!!

Thank you all for sharing your Thanksgiving in our home. I love you all and can't wait to see all of you again. Thank you for all your help and for not complaining about stuff!!

we have Wii

Tom showed great constraiint waiting untiil today to go piick iit up. he iis a good boy, never shops on sunday. he already has pulled a muscle boxiing and piitchiing. iit iis better than I thought, because this niintendo actually giives the kiids exerciise.

Happy Feet

Word to the wise... unless you're and animal rights activist or a member of PETA... don't waste your money and time on this political movie!!!

Where to begin?...

I don't even know where to begin...

I know it's been a while since I logged on, read, or wrote anything on this blog. Marriage has a way of filling up any and all "spare" time. I'm not sure I'm doing this right... in fact, I'll be willing to bet I'm not... but I'm still learning. This whole marriage thing is newer to me than I thought it would be.

It seems I have SO many "things" that "have" to be done in life... everyday. I have lists for work, house repairs, cleaning, school, bills, etc... even the lists go on and on and on! I feel bad because Millie mentioned the other day that I never just relax and spend time with her... which for the most part is kind of true. The thing is, we do spend time together, pretty much every second we get... but the seconds are few and far between. With our two work and school schedules, we're already not much more than ships that pass in the night. It makes me sad. So I try to include her in all the other pressing matters that fill my life just to spend SOME time with her. For example, raking leaves in our yard, going shopping, and cleaning the house. Unfortunately these are not some of her favorite things like brown paper packages tied up with strings.

But seriously, it's like I know what to do... I just can't catch up, get control and DO it. For the most part, I think all of you by now know of our situation... but none of you know all of it... and that's why I'm writing this blog.

I wanted to share some good news and some, well, life news.

First the good news! Millie FINALLY got in to see a doctor the other day (Tuesday Nov. 14) and I went with her. We actually got to hear the baby's heart! Yes, for those of you who didn't already know, or didn't figure it out, Millie is expecting. We found out a lot at the appointment. 1) She is 18 weeks along. 2) Her due date is April 19th... exactly one month before MY birthday! 3) In just TWO weeks we will go in to find out the baby's gender! YAY!!! Millie and I are so excited... it has been more than a roller coaster of emotions with all that has been going on these past few months, and now, you should be able to imagine to some degree why that is. But this is not all. There is one more aspect of all this that has consumed my (and now is affecting Millie's) life.

Obviously there were things that happened prior to the wedding that has expedited getting Millie and I in our current situation. Just before we found out Millie was pregnant I had gone in to see my bishop. It was my first week in a new ward with a new bishop. He was unavailable to meet with me and that week and the following two weeks I was out of town. Just prior to getting an appointment to actually meet with him I discovered that Millie was pregnant. So, my first meeting with my new bishop was to tell him I was getting married and that my girlfriend/fiancée was pregnant. He ended the conversation at that and said I have to meet with the stake. A stake level disciplinary counsel was set and just two weeks (maybe three... everything these past few months is a blur) prior to the wedding I was excommunicated.

Millie and I still have the goal to be sealed. Hearing our baby's heartbeat on Tuesday made me so excited and proud... yet at the same time a feeling of urgency (not that there wasn't one before, but it hit me again) came over me. I need to, and am working on, getting back to the church and the temple, not only for myself, but for my family as well. I had a dream the other night that Millie died and I was SO devastated, for several obvious reasons, but the most heart wrenching of all was that I would not have her after this life... our marriage had ended.

I've never doubted my testimony or the veracity of the church nor the leaders that are called to direct it. I know Christ is still my savior and the only way back to eternal life with my family.

I can't help but think that much of my stress and lack of control in my life right now is due in part to the absolute loss of guidance and direction from the Holy Ghost. I find I must constantly be praying and asking for help and inspiration now, whereas before in my life (although I failed to notice it at times) inspiration would just come on it's own. I'd like to say I didn't see myself as one who took the gospel for granted... but then, if that were true, I don't think I would be in the situation I am now in. I can say this though, I see a blessing in this. I am no longer afforded the destructive luxury of coasting through life (and now marriage) as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I must now actively, and constantly, be pushing forward with noticeable effort to have the spirit in my life each day, and seek the guidance I need to be the head of my family. I will miss out on many opportunities in the near future to bless my wife and child with the priesthood, but hope each one serves as a painful yet loving and everlasting reminder of the importance to ALWAYS live worthy of it now, and when it is restored to me.

I don't know how to wrap this up... I've written a number of different conclusions, none of which fit. So I will leave it at this. Life is busy, but we're moving forward. I love you all and I'm excited to see you all for Thanksgiving! I know I personally have so much to be thankful for this holiday season!!!

What I've Learned in the Past Week

Wow, the last week or two have passed so quickly. I'm sure this week will as well. It is mostly due to work as I have been so busy I spend every spare second working on my billing project/issue. But hopefully that will let up here in the next month. A few things besides work have happened lately - and this is what I've learned.

This week was election week. I voted at the new church up the street. Arizona had 19 propositions on the election ballot. From the propositions that passed, this is my perception of Arizonans:

- they hate Mexicans. Yes, they do. All three propositions related to immigration (not directly - just slaps in the face) passed. One was changing our state constitution to make English the official language. Another was to prohibit illegals from taking any state-funded classes. I didn't vote for either of them. It amazes me as I speak with people how hateful and upset people are about the whole immigration issue. I would bet it hardly affects 90% of the people, but you would think that the Mexicans cause all problems in Arizona.
- they love gays. This is perhaps a bit of a stretch to make this perception, but there was a proposition to add a phrase to our constitution that marriage is between one man and one woman. It failed by a landslide. I voted for it. I saw one of the political signs for the proposition today. It had been changed with graffiti. Instead of "protect" marriage it was changed to "embrace" marriage. The part between one man and one woman had "wo" crossed out of the woman and the two wedding rings in the corner had arrows added to them to symbolize two "men" symbols together. Creative. Who knew there were gay, political gangs out there.
- they love animals. PETA put a proposition to change our constitution to make it unlawful to tie up pigs and cows in areas where they can not turn around or sit down. It passed by a landslide. I think that is crazy. Why would you put something like that in your constitution? I voted against it.
- they hate smokers. There were two propositions on about smoking (actually three, but the third was retarded - though it passed). One was sponsored by the American Lung Association and Cancer Society and banned all smoking in public places. It passed by a large margin. The other was sponsored by RJ Reynolds to confuse voters. It failed. I voted for the one that passed.
- they love bureaucracy. They passed at least two propositions that created large, bureaucratic committees to control money for education. I voted against both of these.
- they really wanted to raise the minimum wage. One proposition was to raise the minimum wage from $5.15 to around $6.80. Something like a 35% increase. It passed with no problem. I voted against it - not because I am against raising the minimum wage - but 35% in one shot? Our fast food joints are going to struggle come 2007. AZ would not, however, raise the salaries of their legislators.

It was fun to go through this season's elections. It was obvious, on a national level, that people hate Bush. Poor guy. He even annoys me - though I never really liked him (voted for him mostly because I can't stand Kerry). I noticed most ads here didn't even tell you what party the candidate was from. But now the Democrats have control of the House and Senate. And probably the white house come two years. It will be an interesting presidential race. I'd vote for Rudy and Mitt, but I'm not sure they can beat Hillary or the black senator whose name currently escapes me. All I can say is please don't let Hillary win!!!

Enok Smiles

Enok is funny and makes us laugh.

wicked

we finally had our chance to go see the play on Broadway. I have to admit, just walking down Times Square and seeing all the people and the light is much of the thrill. maybe if they just had this play in a high school auditorium, it would not have the same affect on me. there were several people in the cast who were 'famous'. the lead role of the wicked witch was played by someone from SNL, so those of you who watch that might know her. we didn't. Ana Gasteyer. she was okay. the one who stole the show was the girl who played Glinda! wow! she was funny and a better singer and just sparkled, dress, wand, and personality! the story doesn't follow the book exactly, but I liked it better. it was easier to understand all the politics, and the ending was different. the funny blond who plays in Scrooged with Bill Murray and is that funny fairy ghost was Madame Morrible,. she was okay. the guy who played Oz had a lot of flair and pizzaz. we ate at Olive Garden on Times Square, and I just marvel at the homeless going through the garbage, standing next to the lady with a full length fur coat. the theater itself was not the most glamorous, and people came dressed much more casually than I expected. we had upper mezzanine seats, but in the middle and we could see fine. (we brought binoculars also). it was worth seeing. it made me want to read the book again. I am astounded that years after the origional OZ, someone could write a story with an entirely new perspective and it could catch on like this. the play starts with the question, "our we born wicked, or is it forced upon us?" the play is acceptable for 8 and above. there are no sexual scenes at all, one kissing scene. It was really fun! I wanted more flying. the monkeys flew only once. if you guys decided to come this summer, try and fit it in. we'll babysit!

Missing School

I have to admit I am a little jealous of mom that she gets to be up at a school as much as she does. Today I went to take some papers into Mrs. Miles that I had graded and I planned it so I could be in there when Jarek was there for project. Oh how I miss being in the classroom helping out. I did feel good though as Mrs. Miles said "this is Mrs. Wall. Who knows her"? and more than half the class raised their hands and said "ooo,ooo, I know her!!!" And they waved and some came up and hugged me. And Malik was so cute too. He went right over to Jarek and hugged him and told him he was the best brother.

I know it is a silly thing to feel happy about, but it made me feel so good that so many of the kids knew me and were glad about it. :)

I miss being able to be up there, but I am glad that the teachers want me to help out still. It is nice to feel needed and appreciated!

special ed

Well, I had the opportunity yesterday to assist in a self-contained classroom. what a great experience. it looks like I will have to tell more later. we are on our way to Wicked! fun!

Trip to Provo 2006

It has been a few years since I went up to Utah. But with Jacob Webb getting married we figured we would take the trip and visit the old BYU valley. This was one of the reasons we purchased our minivan - for something like this. I hate driving, as does Tevia, so we need something that makes driving less awful. The Sedona did the trick. We loaded up on Wednesday afternoon with the whole family plus Risa. The van was loaded with Nintendo GBAs, DS', and a DVD player with two screens. We decided to drive half way (about) on Wednesday and stay at a hotel in Page, AZ. The drive up was great. We stopped in Flagstaff and then ran into some heavy rain. We arrived in Page about 4 hours later, ate some dinner (Taco Bell) and headed to our hotel. Everyone did well, even Enok.

The hotel was nice - a Best Western (at Lake Powell) - and was cheap, something like $63 for all of us to cram into. We all slept pretty good except Tevia who had to sleep in the same bed as Risa and Enok. She doesn't do well sleeping with kids and Enok kept her up part of the night making his taun-taun noises. I slept with the other two boys and slept like a rock.

We headed out in the morning. The drive was beautiful through Southern Utah. Who knew it was so beautiful in the fall? We stopped in Beaver and then arrived in Provo about 6 hours after leaving Page. Not bad. Enok started to fuss a little the last 30 minutes or so, but beyond that all of the boys were great.

It was fun to see Jake's (Wall) condo. It was nice and toasty for us upon arrival, though it actually wasn't all that cold the whole time we were there. We hung out with Jacob Wall, Cari, and even Kathy came over to see the baby. Tevia and I and the boys then went to Millie's parents' house for dinner with the Webbs and Ropers (Millie's family). The dinner was great and the family seemed very nice. That evening we talked some more and went to bed late.

Friday was the day of the wedding. We got our hair did and dressed up and went to an art gallery up in Alpine for the wedding. It was a little hard to find since the directions on the invitation didn't state that the road, though called the Alpine highway, isn't marked as the Alpine highway. But we found it. Pictures were taken and the wedding went great except Enok made Tevia miss the actual wedding part. I can vouch it took place though. The couple looked great, though both seemed stressed - though better than the night before. We then ate lunch at the place and my chicken courdon bleu was fantastic. The couple then immediately left for their honeymoon and abandoned us to Happy Valley.

Enok wasn't too happy Friday, so Tevia was a little stressed with him not pooing (hehe) and being crabby. The boys spent a lot of time playing Nintendo, especially Lego Star Wars (the original trilogy) and ChibiRobo. Jacob Wall also spent quite a bit of time playing "quick" games on his computer - usuall with Tommy. I'm not sure if he enjoyed it, though, because it seemed that he was yelling at Tommy the whole time they played. :-)

We made sure to get a few culinary delights from our old college town. Tevia got a pumpkin shake from Sconecutters and a hoagie from Hoagie Yogi. I made sure we stopped by the Bamboo Hut, which is under new ownership (though friends with the original owners). It wasn't as good as the old place, but pretty darn good. I gorged on sticky rice, oyster noodles, teriyaki chicken, and more. Fantastic.

We also went up to the campus and looked around. It was beautiful. The landscaping is amazing and we took some pix. It was fun to be there, though it made me feel very old. I personally enjoyed spending time with my brother and sister and Cari. It was great to get to know them some more and laugh and talk. I look forward to Thanksgiving to give it another round.

The trip back was uneventful except we did not break it up into two trips. We made it home, but the last hour was torture as we ran into traffic and then I thought I would take a "short cut" around the traffic. I must say I lost my cool as we seemed to drive all the way to New Mexico and then had to drive back. But...we made it safe. It was a great trip and I can see us doing it again some time next year.

teaching, again, and Halloween

Hi, I did a real substitute teaching job today at Van Wyck for a health teacher. I get so lucky. It was fun! I had 4 periods of health, and 2 were free periods. I read my book and ate my apple in the teacher's lounge. how easy is that? It was fun being the teacher in charge, but I do need to be more mean and strict. Some of the boys get quite rowdy and take advantage of subs. tomorrow I teach health at Wappingers Jr high all day! that will be my first all day as a teacher in charge. I will have 5 classes to teach, 2 free periods, a lunch, and I don't know what they will give me the other period. we shall see.
I am ordering pizza in line with our Halloween tradition, even though Dad and Tom don't want me to. life is sure different for us these days. I will rent a movie, and that is about it for us on Halloween night. happy halloween to all!

Bret and Enok relax

Saturday we worked hard in the yard and Enok was tired from all the work!! He and Bret took a much needed rest together. He is a pretty cuddly little guy!! 

Best Episode Ever...?

Wow, tonight's Battlestar was awesome. I can't believe how great this show is. What a poignant moment when they are cheering Adama, Tigh is in anguish, and Kara is completely heartbroken. There is no better show on TV!

interesting note about teachers

I found that as I 'got' to eat in the teachers' lounge, and talk to the teachers as people and not just as a parent, that I felt more imortant. silly? as I walked the halls among the students, I felt empowered. weird? is it just what comes with the title, 'teacher'? I am not a real teacher, but I still felt very important and it sure gave me more self-confidence. Maybe any real job I took or take will give me that. It feels good to be more than just a homemaker, but don't get me wrong, any of you. that, to me, was my most important job in life, and still is. but telling people my age, when they ask me what I do, that I just stay home, gives a strange impression. telling them I am a substitute teacher gets more respect. it shouldn't..... Tev, Cari, and Kathy, being home is harder work than any job, but the most valuable career on the planet, given to us by the Lord himself.
but, now that my kids are all gone except one, I feel the need to do more. I think I will really like this.

A Perfect Night

As I sat in the booth at Freddy's and looked out the window I could see the reflection of my family. Enok was asleep in his seat next to Tevia, who was smiling and laughing at Malik. Malik was walking in circles in the aisle laughing and singing. Jarek sat next to me eating his sundae with marshmallow and sprinkles. I looked at myself with my goatee and thought how ridiculous it seemed that I was an adult; that I had a wife and children. And not only that I was in this position, but that it all worked and was wonderful.

The night had started with an awesome potatoe soup. I did the dishes and then Jarek gave us the lesson for Family Home Evening about Daniel and the lion's den. We sang Follow the Prophet for Malik. Then we gathered into Sihaya (our Kia Sedona) and drove up to Freddy's. And as we ate some of the best custard I have ever tasted we smiled, laughed, and enjoyed being together. There was no place I would rather have been.

Unfortunately the night had to end. We packed back into Sihaya and enjoyed the cool weather as we drove back home listening to Les Miserables. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family.

A Peculiar People

Yet another sign that we are becoming more and more peculiar. Soon I will be a minority by: being married, having more than one child, and having no tattoos. This is really too bad as so many people are missing out on one of the great reasons we are here. Marriage is, and should be, a wonderful thing.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20061015/ts_alt_afp/afplifestyleussociety_061015170214

I bet 100 bucks I can make any of you laugh!

Okay so just watch this clip and try not to laugh. Let the giggle loop build up a bit! This is a flavor of the embarassment to come at thanksgiving. ~Jacob

substitute teacher

I did it! starting monday, I am an official sub teacher and sub teacher's aid. I am on both lists, and will be trying out elementary schools and high schools. I am nervous, but excited. It will open a new world for me. I am also taking Jacob's advice. I have time now for hobbies. I am going to sew a jumper, start my poems, and do more genealogy. yeah for me! thanks for the advice Jacob. 52 is good!

keeping score

2 things I realized today: one, money is a lousy way to keep score in this game of life.
two- it is taking me a long time to become the person I thought I was when I was younger. ..

Busy Body

Okay, why am I such a busy body? It is so hard not to want to have my fingers in all the pies all the time. Bret keeps telling me to keep my nose in my own business, but it is oh so hard. I always worry and fret about what everyone else is doing, thinking, or might be considering even when it has nothing to do with me. This is a hard, nasty habit to kick. Bear with me. Breaking life long habits is VERY hard.
:)
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Suicide Bombers and Parenting

After nearly 6 months of waiting we finally got to watch the season premiere of Battlestar Galactica (BSG). It was two hours of what I have grown to love about the show: drama, action, emotion, and twists. Many episodes focus on contemporary issues and how they might play out in the future (or alternate universe shall we say). For example they tackled abortion last season looking at it from a different perspective - if the extinction of man is on the line, should abortion be legal?

This week they tackled something I don't think most shows would dare approach: suicide bombings. In the episode as they are fighting for their survival and hopeful escape from the Cylon rule, some of the human rebels turn to suicide bombings. Of course there was argument on the human side on whether this was right or not. But even as they argued over moral implications, the effectiveness of them was never in question. They are effective and difficult to defend against. Hence the situation in the Iraq. It was able to put a more "human" view on something that most of us view as abhorent and crazy. But these people were not crazy, just willing to do whatever in order to fight for something they truly believed in. It was a perspective I had never thought of before and I give the writers kudos for being willing to talk about it. It made me think about my own thoughts as I, too, have strong feelings for my religion and values. Colonel Tigh (BSG) makes a point that there is no difference between sending some men on missions YOU know they will die on and sending men on missions YOU BOTH know they will die in. In fact, might one not be more ethical? Another great show. Thank you writers for bringing back more Boomer. Though she is a Cylon, I love her character. And I trust her. And poor Starbuck.

I am reading, as I think I have mentioned, The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. I highly recommend the book and have thoroughly enjoyed it so far. Last night I read a section that I loved. In talking about the future "flat world" (a world brought together through free trade and globalization) he talks about how Americans must prepare for a future in order to remain in the situation we are in (i.e. hegemon, high standards of living, etc.). He points out that US citizens are no longer the hungry, driven people that brought us to where we are. We have become a soft, proud people who think we DESERVE everything. The world will not be so generous. We have a billion people alone in China working their butts off just to get a small piece of the pie. Anyway, the part I read talked about the job of parents, which he believes they have done a poor job of. He believes we are raising children with a false sense of entitlement that go to prissy private schools - not to learn more, but just because by going there we merely feel we are entitled to more. He talks about how "delayed gratification" is looked at as a worse punishment than spankings. His view is we need to suck it up and teach our children the value of hard work and not reward them for everything instantly. He mentions that at Caltech (one of the world's best engineering and science universities) the majority of the students are from public schools as private school students don't want the hard work of an engineering/science degree.

It was great to read this section on something I so adamately agree. I could talk on this subject for hours, but I'll just finish by saying I believe we need to go back to how the US' values were 50 years ago. At that time we focused less on "wants" and more on "needs." Parents didn't have to worry about paying for school and purchasing homes for their kids - or paying for retirement because they could move in with their kids. Sure, giving kids an education and a home is great - but is it helping them? And sure getting enough money to live independently from your kids is a great goal - but should that even be a desire? Why wouldn't we want to be with them? Are we so proud we think we are a burden on them? Or so proud we don't want them to help? I know there are other factors in here to consider, but when we talk about the disintegration of family values, it seems you can see a direct correlation with increase in income. Money has become more important than family - and other things. Soon, according to Mr. Friedman (and other inspired men) this will be our downfall.

My favorites

From time to time I figure it is a good idea to throw in some of my favorites. We play this game as a family quite a bit, but we often limit it to a few basic categories. I will try to open up some of these categories and give insight into what Darth Wall really likes.

Favorite Quick Lunch:
If from home I still love ham and cheese on Grandma Sycamore's white bread. I have eaten it a million times and still my mouth waters whenever I unwrap it. If I go out, right now my favorite is the "double-double burger animal and protein style" from In-N-Out. Fantastic!

Favorite TV Show:
Most know this, but it is definitely Battlestar Galactica. The season premiere starts tomorrow and as Tevia and I have been watching some of last season's episodes I am reminded that this is probably the smartest TV show I have ever watched. Love it.

Favorite Pen:
The Sarasa Zebra 0.7 tip. Greatest pen ever - comes in many colors.

Favorite Magazine:
National Geographic. Who knew I would love this magazine? It has recently overtaken my other favorite: Sole Collector, which is a sneakerhead magazine that recently has strayed from its basketball, urban roots to focus more on running shoes (not too into running).

Favorite Cartoon:
Currently Teen Titans. This Cartoon Network show about Robin and his friends (yes, Batman's sidekick Robin) is fun, funny, and cool. Simpson's would be the top of this list but I don't really consider it a cartoon!

Bigger is NOT always better

So I have never really bought into the illusion that bigger is always better. In fact, quite a few things are far better off smaller. I won't bore you all with a list of these things. I will get right down to the matter at hand. I have said this every time I have had a baby, but I will say it again. Bigger boobs are NOT better. I just can't understand why women want larger breasts. They are so annoying. Granted, I know they get bigger for a reason after pregnancy, and that is why many women breast feed, but it's not so great for me. None of my pre pregnancy shirts fit me because I am so top heavy. I am not nearly as big as some women are on a regular basis, but man oh man, being this much bigger really does make my back hurt. I am just not used to packing around the extra weight on top.

Having larger breasts is not really an asset to a Mormon woman either because you really can't wear anything that would "show off" all the cleavage.

So I have to say that having a baby really reminds me to be grateful for the body that I regularly have. Now all I need to do is work on getting my BIG OLE BUTT back down to normal size so I can fit into my jeans!!! Again, bigger is not better in this case either!!!

Me - in the past

I received a neat gift this week in the mail. My mother had found some old books and stuff in NY and asked if I wanted to save them. I had said yes to a few things but was surprised when a package arrived with some old writings and journals. Most of them were from my freshman year at BYU as part of my journal and as part of some writings for an English class.

It was fun to read through them as I know Kathy is currently in that situation. But the thing that was the most fun was an answer to a question I have been pondering for some time. The question was: have I thought the way I think for many years? Or just recently? It is a difficult question to answer as our minds don't seem to recall changes in philosophies. To me, it seems that all my life I have been an optimist, a thinker, and had similar opinions. But this certainly can't be true. There were definitely days as a teenager that I was pessimistic and times that life didn't seem all that great. They may have been limited, but I think they were there.

So reading these writings answered at least a part of this question. And the answer is: yes, it appears my attitudes, beliefs, and philosophies were quite similar to me now - even 15 years ago. My mother noted she read some of these, which I'm sure were fun for her. It was even more fun for me. As I read about my love for basketball, NY, dark-skinned girls and deep ponderings about God and life, it didn't seem all that different than what I feel now. Certainly I am a LITTLE more mature and experienced, but I was actually amazed at how close to the person I am now I was then.

I'm not sure if this is good or bad. I guess if it were relative to a spiritual level this would be bad, but this is not. It leads me to wonder how much people really change. If I have similar thoughts and feelings 15 years later and I have gone through so much since then (mission, marriage, fatherhood, education, etc.), what does it take to change someone's thoughts and opinions? Am I different in the fact that I am content with who I am and stay the course? Or does everyone basically stay the same from the time they finish high school? Will I change in the next 15 years?

Here are some quick thoughts from Freshman year:

"Dreams are obtainable; fantasies, in most cases, are not."
"My most profound insight is...anything is possible, if you believe."
"I have always been optimisitic. It isn't a sense of pride, just true self-confidence."
"There is a fine line between pride and self confidence. One is good, the other bad."
"All my life I have had one fear. I am afraid to get old. I'm 18!"
"I just want to be happy. It doesn't matter to me if I am rich. I want to be married. It's funny, I really do not want so much from life. I have lived on both sides of the spectrum, rich and poor. I have been content in both positions. As long as you know you are loved."

And a poem:

A Day in the City

We were in the shadow of the skyscraper
Watchin' some boys playin' ball.
I shoved the old man aside so I could be closer.
Look at that black girl
Have I eveer wanted someone so bad?

What a move!
Damn I wish I could play like that.
I stare at her.
She catches my glance and turns slightly.

Foul! the old man yells.
A couple business guys in suits look at him.
I roll my eyes.
The game overwhelms me
and the crowd becomes part of the game.

Along with the beautiful black girl
clinging to hte chain-link fence.

It's overwhelming so I leave.

COMMENT: Yes, you did see a swear word in there. It is funny as I have been reading and writing my mission journal and other journals from high school. Sometimes there are things in there that as a reader in the future you feel like censoring. But I will not. I know that this may lead to incorrect assumptions or perceptions, but I feel that I should not edit my past writings. Not that they are full of awful things - some swear words here and there and some dealings with women - but still it is strange reading something like a swear word since I really don't use language like that nor have I for years. Oh, and my mission journal does not have any swear words - at least not yet in my reading. I will be posting that probably starting in 2007 as a weekly post on another blog. Each week will consist of a month of my mission, so the entire series will take 24 weeks (6 months).

The resolve

OK, so a day has past. I've had some time to think about it, pray about it, and even talk a little with HR (had to talk to them about another issue today, so why not bring this up?). Certainly the feelings beneath yesterday's posting will take time to see where we go. But I have resolved a few things.

First - I am convinced the comments came from people that I am not worried about. They are the typical complainers and, though I like these people, they must be upset because they disagree with decisions that have come to pass in the past. So they can through accusations my way. It's okay. The people I trust and respect the most, and who support me the most, I am convinced will never think this way. I can deal with some people with hurt egos and delusions.

Second - I will be true to myself. I can play the political games to a point. But there are some things that I don't think I will bend on. If that doesn't work well for me here at my current employer, that is okay. I have enough faith in myself to do things my way. It has worked so far. This isn't to say I can't take some feedback and mentoring to polish my game, but when I come to big obstacles I will play it like I see it and do not fear the consequences. I love my job - and there is no reason to sacrifice love for a job for money. So hopefully things will continue in my favor here. I have faith in Prudential and I will do all I can to continue to help them be successful. But in the end it's just a job. There are other things I can do. It may be uncomfortable; it may be hard.

Last - Unfortunately I will be more careful around Mormons at work. Not that I can be much more careful, but therefore it won't be too hard. The irony is that I feel much closer to people in the department who are not Mormon - and I will support them through thick and thin. We all will have people we favor - and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It is natural. I am confident I do not confuse religious affiliation with respect of talent. But I certainly ain't gonna reach out to my BYU alumni and have them apply for jobs here. That is too bad, but something I can live with. I know someone who is a minority and they once told me that they never hired minorities - purely to avoid similar issues. It is a price some of us can pay. I don't think it wrong, but I do find it sad.

Welcome to Corporate America

Today I had my first one-on-one with my new boss. I think it went well as I was given a lot of feedback: something I didn't receive much of prior to my new boss. But as I sat listening and taking note - and even agreeing with what he said - it brought some sadness to me as I realized that I have officially entered corporate America. And for the first time I will really have to think whether or not it is for me.

The first feedback was something that has come up before. It was mentioned once again by at least two people, it appears, on our company employee opinion survey this summer. Apparently there are a few people who believe I am discriminatory in the way I treat people; specifically based upon their religious affiliation; more specifically for being Mormon. There is a perception that I hire too many Mormons, promote Mormons, and favor, in general Mormons. Now I certainly know this is not a department-wide issue, but the fact that it continually comes up shows that there are some people that buy into this. And I can understand that people will have their opinions. The sad part is that I have tried so hard over the past few years to avoid Mormons, that it is ironic that it is an issue.

Fact: I have only hired one Mormon ever while at Prudential. He is no longer at Prudential (only stayed 6 months) and I even went to HR with a fellow manager when he was hired to avoid any "perceptions." This was two years ago

Fact: I have never promoted a Mormon.

So where does this perception come from you may ask? Well, we may never know because these comments in general come up in statements from surveys that prevent anyone from knowing who stated them. But, there may be circumstantial evidence. There are two Mormons on my team (though one will be leaving next week). Both were moved to my team as decisions by the management team - not me. I do carpool with a Mormon who was promoted by another Director last year in a very controversial decision. Many feel I made that decision or swayed the opinion of the other manager (who has since left the company). And now my sister-in-law works there. All of the Mormons, including my sister-in-law, are perceived, in general, as high performers by the management team (well, the Mormons I know of).

The odd thing is what some of the comments seem to insinuate. At least one comment apparently listed the Mormons I favor and happened to list two people on my team who aren't even Mormon. Try to take that perception away! Should I announce that in fact neither of them are LDS? Another, or perhaps the same, comment states that I socialize outside of work with these Mormons. The fact is I have gone out of my way NOT to associate with any of them outside of work, even though one of them is a great friend from my mission. The fact is that I have not had any of these Mormons over to my house ever (outside of team events), though I did recently go to the BYU vs UofA football game with my friend from my mission.

My boss did a great job of not accusing me, but just let me know that this perception is out there - and perception is reality to some people. His feedback is so that I can avoid this perception and hence not limit my opportunities for progression in the company. So how can you change/avoid this perception. He gave me the only feedback I think you can: avoid Mormons like the plague. Funny thing is that I have basically done this. So now should I go even more extreme? Should I stop carpooling with the guy I carpool with? I already stopped interviewing Mormons. I have someone on my team who is probably a good candidate for the next manager position we have, so should I vote against him just because he is Mormon? Should I sacrifice his career progression for mine? Should I make sure I do not work on any projects with others of my creed?

As continuing feedback he mentioned that he would suggest I take this one step further. That would mean don't even socialize with anybody that works below you as this will lead to "perceptions." So I shouldn't go out to a game with the guys on the team, nor should I go hiking with the people that like to hike every few weeks. I see the logic in this - and understand it. And the question that then comes to mind is: how much am I willing to sacrifice/change in order to be promoted? If I didn't care about being promoted I could continue on as I am; they certainly can't fire me for baseless perceptions. But I do want to progress in my career.

I think this is the point that many people reach and have to make that all important decision of how much they can endure the corporate politics game. I have a rebellious streak in me so I feel like "Hey, I'll do whatever the frack I want and if y'all aren't smart enough to promote me; your loss!" But at the same time I love what I do and feel I can make a difference at a higher level.

I will pray about this and see what evolves. Certainly regarding the Mormon thing I feel like there is not much I can do. I will have to try and distance myself even further. But can I distance myself from my whole team and not do things with them? I know that many think it is taboo to "hang out" with people beneath them. But I love my team - all of them. I like to be with all of them. Am I willing to give up that aspect just to make myself more "politically" attractive? I'm not sure.

How well can I play the game? How much do I really need to change to succeed in a corporate environment? I'm sure that depends on the company. So as I received some of my first "prepare yourself for the future" feedback, I find myself questioning my goals. Let's see what happens.

spending money

It is interesting to me that most of us in the next few months will have a little extra spending money, once I start working. Tom is working. Bret and Tevia got to buy all those nice patio thigns and go toMexico. Jacob and Cari got a great dishwasher. If I work more than 6 times a month, I will have some spendign money. only Kathy will be poor and not working. :(
I don't think we have ever had this many people with jobs before. is it a sign of a bad economy? probably just the timing of our ages and where we are in life at this stage. I better say that I just mean jobs outside the home, because we all know that Tevia works the hardest of all of us right now. :)

where oh where is Jacob Webb?

Hey, how come you never blog anymore? I miss your comments. and when are you going to announce the big news and date? how exciting for you!

Early to Rise - Stick It - Work

Now that Tevia had the baby, I have little excuse not to get into shape. I guess that isn't correct, since I am in shape. I have little excuse not to lose a little weight. So what is the best way to lose weight? Well, in my mind it is to do something you love. I love basketball. It was two years ago I stopped playing basketball in the mornings and that was when my weight came on. Not too much, but enough to bother me. I mean, come on, the media forces us all to think we should be waifs, even men. I am a sucker too.

So this week I started playing basketball. Thing is, here in North Phoenix the church by me plays at 5:30 - 1/2 hour earlier than the guys in Scottsdale. That means for me to get there I have to wake up at 5:19. I played Monday and Friday mornings, in addition to Wednesday night in Scottsdale and then I played this morning at 5:30 AM at the local high school with some other guys. So 3 days this week I woke up at 5:19 AM. That is early. It has been fun though. I still don't have a six pack, but I figured it might take more than one week. Too bad. One thing for sure, it makes it a lot easier to fall asleep at night. But it makes it much harder to read scriptures in the morning.

Last night we watched the movie "Stick It." It is basically "Bring It On" but with gymanstics. I loved it. It was a fun movie and had a good moral. It also was a good commentary on the state of gymnastics today. I used to love and follow gymnastics a lot, but I haven't been interested in years. The sport is struggling and they need some changes. Is the movie worth the price of a ticket - probably not. But it is a great Netflix choice.

Work has been very interesting. For years I have thought our company (my division) has struggled with abulia, which often means the "inability to make decisions" (it is also a neurological disorder, but I like the other meaning better). When a business is unable to make decisions, this leads to little change. Change is good - and necessary, especially if you want to progress. With our new leader, decisions are now being made, quickly. That is good, but takes adjusting to when you are used to no decisions. This week I learned that they are going to take my compensation team (4 employees) and move them to another department. The rationale is to put them in a department whose expertise and core competency has to do with finance. Our department and my team is not focused on that, so we can hopefully gain some efficiencies by moving them. I am on board with this, but it will be hard as I love those guys and 3 of them have been here for years, including David Kennedy who actually served in my mission years ago. This will also free me up so I can take on more responsibilities. The one thing my new boss is good at is fairness. He needs his Directors to do more, but in order to do that understands he has to take other things off of us. And he has done this. In this example I lose 4 headcount and that responsibility and now will have additional headcount to do other things (one of which is to solve a problem he wants resolved before year-end which is coming to my plate next week).

But I am happy with all of this. I am finally being stretched again and being able to focus on certain things. Over the past few years I have been the guy who does everyting. That is good, but it also gets taxing. Jimmie appears to want to harness my talents for certain things in order to improve as a company. I believe I can, so it has been fun.

As I go through these changes, I have come to prove with myself a belief that many people have (including myself up to this point) which is: employees don't always need money or promotions to motivate them. The past year or so Tevia and I have discussed possibly making a change if a promotion or other things (like international travel) didn't happen. Now I am once again excited about things as I have been given a vision - some leadership - which I have craved. This makes work more exciting and I can think longer term. It has been fun.

Enok

Enok - first week

First Week of Enok

Okay, so it has been a week now that Enok has graced our lives. I have to say that I find it so amazing how you can fall in love so fast a fourth time. The capacity of the heart is amazing. I feel like we have been so blessed with this little guy. He is so sweet and funny already at a week old. I don't know if it is because this is my third, but I have really felt far less stressed than with the first two munchkins. This could be due to a number of factors. We haven't had to worry about going to the cardiologist since it seems his ticker is ticking fine. He eats like a little piggy and has packed on the pounds. He already has a double chin and his arms are rolly polly. His legs will catch up soon I am sure.

Feeding time has always been so stressful in the past, but this time, since he actually can suck, and does it quite well at that, has made feeding so much easier. He has super wet diapers and poos a whole lot, which is always a sign that the kid is actually getting food.

The only slight worry has been the jaundice, but that has been not so bad. His blood test yesterday came back lower still. We still have to do the blanket for two days and get retested on Wednesday, but I am sure it will come back fine. He is a trooper.

All in all the first week of Enok has been swell. I have only cried twice really. Once when I felt like I was starting to get mastitis and yesterday when I was just feeling overly tired. But I am a lucky girl and Bret came to the rescue and brought us all dinner. What a guy. :)

I love having a new baby in our family. It is such a joy and such a blessing to have him here at last. He was and is a most welcome blessing we have been waiting for!!! Welcome to family little Enok.

The Runaround

Enok is doing well as he is about 5 days old now. He is in the other room sleeping on his "billi-blanket." In the first few days of his life, I have noticed some things about him. He is strong. This may be due to the fact that our other boys have had muscle issues (and perhaps Enok will as well), but he has the ability to lift his head and push with his legs, etc. It is amazing to me that something so young is already so strong. He likes to eat. He does something that neither of our other boys did - and that is craning his neck to look for something to eat. He is constantly craning his neck with his mouth wide open looking for a snack. He is expressive. Enok makes a lot of faces and already smiles quite a bit though he is so young. He has been fun to have in the house and we are glad that he is part of our family.

Yesterday we had to go to the Scottsdale hospital (about 30 minutes away) to get Enok tested for the billi-ruben (sp?). Tevia and I took Enok and left the other boys with grandma. Upon arrival I dropped them off and parked as far away as possible - though not by my choice - more so that parking there is awful and was limited in my choices. So I walked through the whole hospital over to the outpatient lab where Tevia and Enok were waiting. Upon arrival they Tevia informed me that I had to take the perscription to "Admitting" before they could do anything. So I gladly took the paper and headed back through the whole hospital to admitting. Once I got there we had to enter all of Enok's data into the computer, which took some time. Finally they asked for my insurance card and upon looking at it said that they don't take that insurance at this hospital (Aetna) for lab work unless the baby was born there (which it originally was planned to be). At this point I was getting a little frustrated and tried to explain that this is where our pediatrician told us to go, yada, yada, yada. He made some calls and in the end confirmed that Aetna would not be accepted but that we could pay $160 out of pocket if we would like. I did not like.

So I walked all the way down to where Tevia and Enok were patiently waiting only to inform them that we could not do the tests here (I guess more accurately I was not willing to pay for the tests here). We were told of a clinic/lab that would take Aetna just down the road, but it was closed. We then called the hospital where Enok was born and they said they could do it, but the lab was closed so we'd have to go to ER (which costs $100 now with insurance!). In the end we found a place 2 miles from our house that closed at noon so we had to speed all the way back to where we started from in the first place. In the end we got the test done and the results came back good (his levels had gone down).

All through this ordeal I could feel myself starting to get frustrated. I am guessing this is how others feel when they get so upset. But what I was so happy about was that each time that feeling came I could quickly say to myself, "why get upset? You can't change this and it is not the end of the world." Yes, it cost me some gas and time. But it worked out. I could have blamed Aetna (not nearly as good as United Health Care we have had the past 5 years) or Prudential for taking the United away as a choice. But in the end it was some time to spend with Tevia and Enok. Enok slept almost the entire time, so it sure didn't bother him. I am glad I don't get angy quickly. It is easy to see how many moments like this can come up and really ruin your mood for the day.

when what was lost is now found

It feels so good to find something that was missing! I found the Aquire tiles! I took everything out of Jacob and Tom's closet, and they were in that same little blue-green bag, way in the back. I had put Jacob's games up there, and he took most of them. He must not have seen the bag. there was also the old candy land game and pieces. fun!
so now, if we could only find Kathy's drivers license and my social security card!

Mommy and Enok come home

It is almost lunchtime on Thursday and Tevia and Enok are now at home. They are both doing great, though Enok has a high "billi" count, so they will probably test him again tomorrow at the pediatrician's office. Malik had jaundice so this is nothing new. We'll see if he needs to get any treatments like Malik did.

It is great to have them home and I decided to stay home today to be with the family. Tevia's mother is still here which is a wonderful help. I just dropped Malik off at school and as I was leaving he hugged me and said, "stay and play dad, you're my best friend!" I am a lucky man.

Yesterday morning I dropped Jarek off at school and went and spent some time with Tevia and Enok at the hospital. I then went in to meet with a client and then went back to the hospital. After that I drove down to south Phoenix where our company is having a big conference this week and I was asked to work at a booth representing the international offices. It was nice to see some old friends and colleagues.

It is amazing to me how much joy a new born baby can bring to the world. Obviously it does to the parents - that's not surprising. But when I showed up at work so many people came by to offer congratulations, hugs, and love to my wife (many of whom haven't even met her). It makes it so easy to see that families are just inherently part of God's plan.

Enok Andrew Wall

At 7:08 PM on Sept 12, 2006, the newest member to the Wall clan was born. He was quickly named Enok Andrew Wall by his mother as she sent "I told you so" glances to me as the child was 8 lbs. 12 oz. and just as big as she had predicted. He was also 20 1/4 inches long.

He looked healthy and had big lungs as he was a crier. Tevia did great during the labor and delivery. We originally were scheduled to go to the hospital at 7 AM to get induced, but were delayed a few hours. Around noon we were told we could come in. Around 2 they started the Pitocin and it wasn't until after 4 PM that her doctor finally arrived to break her water. The whole hospital seemed amazed she wasn't going to have an epidural - stating that only hispanics don't do that (duh, she's Mexican!).

Similar to Malik, getting to around 5 centimeters was pretty easy (or at least Tevia makes it look that way). At that point she took some Stadol (sp?) and, just like Malik, within an hour or so from that point she was ready to push. This point came quicker than expected so her doctor (Dr. Shannon) hadn't arrived yet. She had to hold in the pushing reflex a few times until her doctor arrived in shorts and then told her to push with all she had. It took three of these pushes to get the big Mr. Enok out and then it was over.

For me it seemed the easiest of the three. It didn't seem as long, as gross, nor as difficult - but most strange to me: I didn't cry. Oh, tears came to my eyes, but I didn't cry like with Malik. I'm not sure if this was because it isn't quite so amazing after two, or I just am more mature.

I'm home now as Tevia wanted to spend the night alone at the hospital. I'll get up early, take Jarek to school, go visit Tevia, then go to work to see a client that is in (Deloitte), then go back to see Tevia, then go to dinner with some clients... It'll be a busy day.

Welcome Enok the Ewok. We love you already. Many of you might know Malik's nickname is Beanie. I've already donned Enok with Eenie.

Knock Knock, who's there!!!

I'm sure either Bret or Tevs will want to write a bit about the new arrival... so I'll leave it to them, I just want to welcome the newest member to our family! Congrats, we're all very happy he's finally here!! :)

Sleeping In

So, we had a funny morning. Everyone in our house slept in. Not by choice though. I had reset Bret's alarm clock yesterday cuz I was super tired and needed a nap. I was very worried I would sleep past the time I had to pick the kids up from school so I set two alarms, just in case. Well of course I didn't think about it again and so this morning, no wake up call. For some reason I woke up suddenly and looked at the clock. It was 7:19 AM. Ahhhhh!!! Jarek is supposed to be at school by 7:30 and Bret leaves at that time too. I shot out of bed, dragged Jarek off of his bunk, dressed him, fed him breakfast, fixed his lunch, combed his hair and got out of the house in time to get him to school without being late. I think it is the fastest either of us has moved in a LONG time!!! Bret got ready in record time too. It was crazy.

I guess I wouldn't have slept in so late but I had my pillow over my head because I kept hearing Malik cough and it was driving me crazy so I had to block it out to get back to sleep after checking on him and taking a potty break at 4:45 this morning.

Anyhow, I just thought it was a funny interesting morning.

That's all folks.

cedar point

Check out cedarpoint.com for the new ride!

Christmas

Cari, it's funny that I woke up and decided I better blog about Christmas. Just to get some things out of my head onto paper. the more people we get in our little Wall family, the more presents people might think they have to get. I know Tevia wants to go no-gifts some years. Last year she certainly had some awesome ones to give out! I wanted to just say to all that no one in our family should feel obligated to buy anyone anything. some years are just better financially, some years we just can't think of what to buy. let's just say, if we want to and if we see something we know someone would love, then go ahead. for example: Bret and Tev have been buying gifts for Kathy for years, but she probably can't buy anyone anything this year. I just want to make sure no one is pressured. you may all think I am butting in, so whatever. take it as just an idea.
- next, Tevia and Bret, any ideas for the boys for a gift?
- next, kathy will be here, and we will be staying here, but it would be a special treat for a grandma to have the camera hooked up that day just to see the boys even for a few minutes that day....
I know that is a bad subject, but I still don't get why it would bother your computer so much when so many people use it.
-Christmas cards? If we take the family picture in November, I won't be able to use it for Christmas cards. I am trying do decide if I should just skip them this year, make up some kind of paper with photos on it, ( I don't know how, but I could learn), send them after the holidays, or just send out one of the 6 of us from Cedar Point. any creative ideas?

Christmas and my parents

Well, here's the update: we (that's Jacob Wall, me, and Nicole) will be remaining in Provo this Christmas season. Through some conversations the last few days with my parents and the very influential decision of our two good friends to get married round about then (go Jared and Amanda!), we've decided this is the place for us to be. It will be really interesting to be spending Christmas in Utah, since I've never done that before. All my life, I've had somewhere else to be. I guess we really live here now or something. Yikes.

What has most fascinated me about this decision making process is my parents and the role they ended up not playing in all this. Most of my 23 years (and yes, it's now midnight, so I get to tack on the extra year, lol) my focus in life has been to make my parents pleased with me. That focus changed a lot when I met and then later married Jacob because, let's face it, he's a little bit more exciting in a lot of areas. But even when it came to planning the wedding, most of the decisions I made were to make them happy, and looking back, I do wish I would have done some things differently.

But when it came to this decision, I worried and a stewed and I kept Jacob up half the night Sunday night talking his ear off about what I would say and then what they would probably say, etc, etc, when I called to tell them that we had decided to not go there this year. Then I actually talked to them about our decision. And not only did my parents do a pretty good job of not arguing with me or trying to change my mind, I didn't try to talk myself out of my decision through the course of the conversation. I knew that staying here was the best decision we could make for our most immediate family (meaning the two of us) and that was that.

I'm aware that like many of my posts, I'm rambling and probably not making much sense. Sorry about that. But for me, this was a good thing to have happen right now. Knowing that I can love my parents but not place their happiness has the highest priority in the list is a good place to have arrived at. AND I'm really pround of Nicole for doing the same thing.

With the Knutti insanity behind us, I would like to brag about my husband. He bought me the most wonderful birthday present I could have imagined (except the Wii and 1. it's not out yet and 2. it's more of a hockey stick present really) and that would be a dishwasher. I'm a spoiled girl. No, really, it's true; ask Nicole. :-) Living this past year without a dishwasher hasn't been hard, but it's been annoying and I've whined more than once about doing the dishes by hand. And I'm sure we would have been just fine going on without a functional dishwasher. But now that we have one again (and a stinking nice one to boot), I am so grateful for technology and for Jacob for thinking of buying one, and for running water and for electricity, and all the things that make it possible that I can put our dirty dishes into this big box, press a button, go do something else, and a little while later, poof: clean dishes.

In summary, we're staying in Utah for Christmas, I got a dishwasher for my birthday and life is good. I mean, if Jacob's not yelling at the computer, that's gotta mean good things, right? :-P

Labor Day

It is always nice to have a day off of work. Even though I love my job, it still seems like such a relief to have a day to stay home, relax, work in the yard, etc. Last night the boys wanted me to sleep in their room, so I slept on Malik's bed as the two boys slept on the mattress on the floor (we had put it there the other night as Jarek had a cold). It was fun, though not too comfortable. Early in the morning Jarek woke up and climbed up in bed with me - he was excited to see me. It was a great way to start the day.

Tevia went grocery shopping as the boys and I played. They keep wanting me to play their New Super Mario Bros. game on the DS so they can watch. Since DS is "personal" device, it is tough for them to watch. So they both sit next to me with their heads on mine as we stare at this 3 inch screen. It is funny. We also have the game Brain Age - so we can start competing with all of you out there. Tevia seems to be the best around here so far. Her brain age is 22. It is a lot of fun. I especially like seeing the pictures. It is fun to see what games we are best at. I am really good at the math problems (20, 100) but Tevia rocks at the 1-A-2-B game and some of the others.

We are going to cook some dogs tonight and we can sit and see the new bamboo I planted today. It is cool. For most people Fall is here; but here it is still Summer - though it has rained the past few days. It has been nice.

Saturday I went down to Tucson to see the BYU game against Arizona. It was their first sold out game since 2000 when they played Ohio State. It was a see of nearly 60,000 fans in red hoping to beat the "mormons." It was fun to be there, but it was also extremely frustrating. It was perhaps the worst reffed game I have ever seen and BYU should have killed UofA. Oh well, it was fun to see a BYU game; I hadn't since graduating.

DeseretBook.com - The Enoch Letters

DeseretBook.com - Mormon Life

I found this on my RSS today. Maybe this is a sign that Enok is coming soon to our town?!

try a new name?

I dreamt about your new son, and he was named Jackson Bret Wall, and he went by Jack B. Wall. I like it. of course, there was also a giant horse in my backyard that we couldn't get rid of, but....

Need a First Class Ticket to the USA?

If you are ever stuck in a foreign country and don't have a way back to the USA, here is a sure-fire way to get back to the USA - and first class even. Just claim you murdered someone. You will be treated like royalty and brought back to the USA with cameras on you the whole way. Eventually they will do some DNA sample and find out that you aren't in fact the killer and let you go. Everyone will apologize and you will laugh and say, "ha, ha, I'm just kidding!"

With the DNA samples of Mr Karr not matching those of the infamous Jon-Benet Ramsey, it seems as though he will get a slap on the wrist and go on with life. My idea? Put him in jail anyway. Who cares if he really didn't kill her? If he claims he did, then he should be in jail. Obviously if he didn't kill her he is crazy. Why would anybody claim to kill a young girl and not have done it. He needs help and from what I hear our penal system is the perfect place to take men with issues and rehabilitate them to become normal citizens.

On a more personal note, Tevia still has not had the baby (a literal translation from Portuguese would be "given light"). She is uncomfortable and really wishes little Enok would come out (no, not Ewok). I am trying to be a good husband.

Today we had a potluck lunch with our team and we invited people from the cost tracking department to join us. It was fun. Tevia made some great chicken stuff which I loved. Work has been fun lately. I think my new boss has brought about some good changes and it is nice to go to work and think that I may learn something from my boss that day - and that they might actually do a better job at their job than I would. :-)

The degradation of society...

That's quite the title to this blog post. But this week I have been frustrated by a few things that I think society is condoning that I think will have detrimental impact on the future. So listen to my gripes:

1 - "stress leave" The USAToday had an article this week citing how mental disabilities are costing US companies Billions in productivity as more and more people are taking time off of work for things like depression or stress. As these items are currently considered part of the disabilities act, employers unfortunately have little power to deal with these issues as they are not even allowed to ask what the problem is. If an employee gets a signature from a doctor then they can leave work for an indefinite period of time. At Prudential I had never heard of this until about a year or two ago. Now it is all the rage. Fortunately I haven't had to deal with it personally on my team, but I am affected by others. One of our managers recently had two of her employees leave on "stress leave" and since we can not hire someone to take their place (as they have the right to come back) other teams have to absorb their work.

I want to note that I understand people really do suffer from depression and stress - and it is not easy to work and deal with it. But there has to be a standard as people can't just leave for any reason by saying they are stressed. It isn't fair to other workers and it makes it extremely difficult to mitigate risk. Most of the people I know who have taken these leaves seem like they have other issues they need to deal with (child care or retaliation to their managers/team). I don't want to seem unfeeling, but come on, suck it up. The rest of us do. I am not against giving a week or so off, but if you need a month or two to feel better, than you probably should consider another career.

2 - Everybody wins! We are killing our kids by convincing them that competition is not good and that nobody is better than anybody else. It is a lie! People are better than other people at things. For example, I could smoke anyone in our family in basketball (lol). But seriously, people have talents and people work hard to improve in areas. By perpetuating this lie we tell our children to stop trying at all. Why even try to get good grades, since it shouldn't matter? Why try to lose weight? Why should I stop playing video games all day? Life is not fair, but that is what makes life what it is: a time for us to prepare to return to our Father in Heaven. God does not want the world to be fair - or equal - or easy. We need competition to be better and improve. Wanting to be better than others makes me a better person. It doesn't mean I am conceited or hate others, but it does make me try hard and succeed. I know that most people use this lie as an excuse to say we can't harm our kids' precious little egos, but what is wrong with that? It is good to be humble. Self confidence does not come from never experiencing failure - it comes from succeeding. If you have never succeeded at anything in life, you will never be confident enough to be a leader (a good dad, a good bishop, a good citizen, a good MAN). We have taken this too far where we can't have contests in school and can't award trophies anymore. Let's wake up and make a contest out of everything. I can write better blogs than you all. That means you should all go home and cry. :-)

I sound kinda (sound of cat fight) tonight. But I haven't given up on the world. Pain is okay to feel. Jarek called me at work yesterday in tears as he was sad that he couldn't keep up with the kids at school. He felt left out and slow. It hurt him. It hurt me. But that's okay. I don't need to call the school and tell them to change for my son. He can handle it. He knows I love him and will love him no matter what. Will there be hard and sad times in life? Yes. But there are also wonderful times in life. Jarek may not be the fastest, but he may be the smartest, or kindest. We each have our talents. We are all different. Today he came home from school with a smile and loved his day. And I loved seeing him happy.

few pics from cleveland

I should have taken pics of my old houses... shoot...

Joy

Okay, I am posting again. Just wanted to share my happiness and joy with everyone. I was reading the new September Ensign yesterday and there was a really good article about living in the shadow of death and how she views things differently in her life now that she has only a little while to live. One of the things that struck me was the joy she felt in a beautiful sunrise in her flower garden and felt the Lords love and kindness towards her.

I have felt that the last few hours or so. Last night a nice big thunder storm rolled in with lightening and rain and the works. We all sat outside together as a family and watched it together. I felt so happy and grateful for the rain. Then, as an added blessing, this morning it has rained too. I woke up to a nice cloudy day and then around 8:00 the rain just came down sounding beautiful and refreshing. I couldn't help but think of that article because I was just telling Bret how much I would love an overcast cloudy day. The Lord is kind and generous. I am so thankful for the beautiful rain today and have said numerous prayers in my heart because of this rain. I know it seems like such a silly thing to get very happy and emotional about, but there it is. I am very happy.

Happy Birthday Tommy

Tommy, Happy Happy Birthday!!!!! I hope you have a really great day today!! Jarek had a lot of fun talking with you the other night. Thank you for taking the time to talk Nintendo with him!! Be happy and enjoy being 17 for a whole year!!!

Love,
Tevia

Tom turns 17, finally

dad and I swear Tom has been 16 forever! he seems so old and has been driving so long and we just could hardly believe he is only turning 17 tomorrow. no big plans, just lemon chicken for dinner and the new Nintendo for a combo birthday, Christmas gift. Tom, we sure love having you as the youngest member of this way cool fun family!

hear the sweet voice

Because of stressful situations this summer, I am having some trouble sleeping. I went through one of my medition books at 3 am one night, and found this nice idea. after doing some deep breathing and muscle relaxing, close your eyes and think of someone's voice that you just love to hear on the phone when they call. think deeper, no matter what time of day, when, or where, if that person calls, it just makes you smile- right away! it was a fun exercise, and can be done on a plane , in a traffic jam, at work, or anywhere to just ease your mind for awhile.
Me- why, I just have to share. Jarek came to mind my very first!!!! I would not have expected that, but that is who came first. I just love hearing his voice and talking to him. I wonder if it is that he never has been the bearer of stress or bad news when he calls.... :)
all of the rest of you made the list. I am glad that I have all of you. I love when Tevia takes the time to call. I love to talk to Cari. and I absolutely love it when Bret and Jacob call. Kathy, I hope all your first week away calls aren't tearful and are full of fun and exciting news.
a note- besides family, Olivia was the only one that made the first cut. I had to think too hard for others on the friend list. interesting.

Cedar Point - 2006

Last week I abandoned my wife and kids and flew to Cleveland, Ohio to spend a few days with my parents and siblings. This was actually the first time in years that I think we did something sans Tevia - as she feels such a part of the family (to me). I was a little worried about flying as a couple days before they had allegedly thwarted a terrorist plot to blow up some planes. Due to this there were new rules put into place so that you could no longer bring liquids on board the plane. Tevia and the boys drove me to the airport and I prayed Tevia would not give birth. The security wasn't so bad and I got on my flight with a good book (Star Wars: Dark Lord - The Rise of Darth Vader) and landed a few hours later in Cleveland.

It was great to see my family and we went immediately to my grandmother Bernice's home. Other family members like my uncle Mike and his wife Marsha (sp?). My grandmother's sister and her husband (Dorris and Sam) also came. They provided some good entertainment as we munched on some pizza and played cards. Jacob, Tommy, and I went to Michael's to spend the night. We tried to observe a meteorite shower, but except for one huge shooting star, we didn't see much. We stayed up late talking and went to bed.

Sunday we woke up and headed to church. This was the same ward I had lived in with my mother as a young boy when she was baptized. Afterwards we went to lunch with my grandpa Jack. Also there was his wife, Carol, and my cousin Jessie and her daughter. I had a good time talking with my grandpa as he told a few stories about my mother as a child that I hadn't heard before. After lunch we drove through Cleveland and looked at some of the homes my mother grew up in and the apartment she and I lived in (which was no longer there). It was really cool to see the homes and neighborhoods she lived in. They seemed like wonderful homes and neighborhoods; a great place to grow up as a child. I had always envisioned her living in the ghetto (not sure why), but certaily that was not the case. I enjoyed this part of the trip immensely. We even drove by her high school (Rhodes) which seemed way cooler than my high school, even today.

That night we met over at Michael's and talked. The boys and I stayed up late again talking with Michael. We woke up early and drove over to pick up the parents and Kathy. We then drove to Cedar Point. Since we were staying in the hotel at the park (the Breakers), we were able to enter the park early and take advantage of a few rides that open early. Due to this great advantage we were actually on the first roller coaster of the day on the Millenium Force. It was awesome. We then went on the MaXair (a swing-like rotating thingee) and then got on the Top Thrill Dragster (my favorite) all in less than an hour and a half. Having hit three of the main rides so early in the day opened our day up a lot and the rest of the day was very enjoyable. Mom couldn't ride any rides due to her back, but it was fine as we weren't all frenzied to be riding a ride at each moment. The park wasn't too packed and we were able to go on all of the rides I wanted to except the log ride which they had taken out to build a new ride for next year. Lunch was fantastic at Johnny Rockets. We also enjoyed a fun diving show and even the lazer show at the end of the evening.

The hotel room was exceptional as we got the corner suite. It gave a great view of the Lake and beach. It would be awesome to get that room in the future.

Tuesday we woke up and packed it up. We ate lunch at a Bob Evans which was not too bad. All these years I thought it was a chicken joint - and how wrong I was! Then the fam drove me to the airport and I flew back to PHX. The only thing on the way home was that after we took off about 40 minutes later they mentioned we were landing. I knew Phoenix was not that close so I was worried I had gotten on the wrong plane as I only had one boarding pass. But it was just a stop in St. Louis (I waved through the window to the Knudsons out there somewhere). They didn't even let us off the plane as the same plane then took off to PHX.

Getting back to work was crazy. Sometimes just taking a day or two off of work is worse than taking two weeks. Things at work are still odd. Not bad, just different. Thursday night I went to dinner with the CEO of our division/company. He is a nice guy and asked that I sit next to him. During our conversation I got the impression that Jimmie (my new boss) had to be convinced to come here as really he is used to managing much bigger departments (his last department had over 700 employees that he led). It was hinted that he probably will just be here a couple of years to take care of some things and then move on. Is he here solely to mentor me? Jimmie has already mentioned a couple of times he wants to play a mentor role in my progress (something I have never had). Maybe he is here to prepare me for a future leadership role. Maybe I see the positive in everything and am so cocky I delude myself. Either way, life is good.

Test of Picasa Web Albums

August 16, 2006

Aug 10, 2006 - 17 Photos

Jarek's Birthday - 2006

7 years ago my life changed dramatically. If I were to pick a few moments that really were life-altering, it certainly would be one of them. It was the day I became a father. It is right up there with the day I become a husband, and the day I went on my mission. It was a scary day, yet wonderful. It was so hard to believe I was a father. I felt so young, so irresponsible. Seeing Tevia go through the delivery felt so weird and foreign. It was one of those days/experiences where you think "is this really happening?"

But it was a wonderful day. Jarek Kaleb brought something to my life that I needed - and that we all need: responsibility and someone to look up to me. I believe we need these two things in order to progress in life. God knows this and, like marriage, he has suggested ways to get these things which mostly consist of the family unit. Starting August 10, 1999 I had one more soul, in addition to my wife and family, who had expectations of me; someone I could disappoint; someone I didn't want to fail. You see, we need people around us who love us to make us be better people. Left to our own most of us will be able to rationalize things and be tempted under the premise that nobody else will know - or care. But when we get married, and even more so when we have children, we do have people who will (should) know; and certainly people who do (should) care. Jarek made me want to be an even better person. Tevia had done the same, but after a few years of marriage we had gotten to know each other well and felt comfortable. I needed something new. Not that I was planning on going on a killing spree or anything, but a child was something to get me to make those extra steps we all need to take each year.

And besides all of this, Jarek brought me a new meaning of love. Not a love like I have for my wife, or my parents, or my friends. But a love of a father. I feel that this is more of a God-like love; the love God has for us. Because He created us. And I, in a way, created Jarek (with some help!). That bond of love was so strong, I feared when we had Malik that I wouldn't be able to love Malik quite the same (I was wrong). It is so strong that I can sympathize with parents who don't discipline their children and never want them to feel pain. Srong enough that I find myself praying for him more than for me. He helped me, like Tevia, become less selfish.

But beyond even that - as he grew and developed/showed his personality I came to love him as a friend. I like being with him. He makes me laugh; he makes me cry. He teaches me with his profound thinking and amazes me with his intelligence. He has perhaps the softest and biggest heart of any person I have ever met. Perhaps this is why his heart needed an extra flap. I am eternally grateful for having Jarek in my family. I am eternally humble thinking that I was his friend in the premortal existence, and that he would choose to spend his life on earth with me. I am grateful for these 7 years I have been able to know him. On those sad nights when I wondered whether he would have a full life with his heart condition and whether he would live long enough even to become a young man - I was still grateful for that time I had with him.

Thank you Jarek for choosing to be with us here on earth.

Jacob in NY

Well, we got in about 2am. he was the first one up, ( after me), which surprised me. he has already figured out what was wrong with our tv, helped dad fix the lawnmower, and played lots of games with Tom. tonight we are doing Settlers and Puerto Rico. Bret, should we bring a game to Cleveland and Cedar Point? which one do you want? we had steak with mushrooms, baked potatoes with brocolli and cheese sauce, corn on the cob, and grapes and cherries. but I can't make anything to impress him anymore, cause he cooks so often and so well. Cari, thank you for sharing him with us. have fun with Nicole.

Update

Hi, Just thought this would be the fastest way to update everyone on me for now. I just had a doctor's appointment today and here are the orders I received. It looks like things are fine. The contractions I have been having over the last week have not done too much in the way of progression. I have thinned a little, but no further dilation was detected, and she says I am still high and tight. (for those who don't know what that means, get a book) But, just to be on the safe side, since the contractions haven't totally ceased, I have to stay on moderate bedrest for the next two weeks. That means, I can still do things, but at a much slower, much easier pace. I can't lift anything heavy, I can go grocery shopping, but preferably with someone who can lift things for me, I should just be smart and not try and over do it basically. If I have more than five contractions in an hour, then I have to call in. She said that if I get three an hour to put myself back on bedrest for a few hours to let them subside. Two good news things. The baby is still in head down position, so that is good, and they said that if I make it to 36 weeks, then go into labor, they will just let it happen and not stop it. So if I can get through the next two weeks without having the kid then I am good to go.

This also means that Bret will be able to go to Cedar Point. I feel like I will not have this baby by then, although I threatened to have it and not tell him while he was gone just because I was being a brat. :) So looks like things are good for now.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and calls and emails in my behalf. I am so sad that we had to miss the funeral and seeing everyone. I will make sure and let this kid know how much trouble he has been so far!!! LOL. Guess I'll go do some laundry.

Esther Wall - In Memorium

My grandmother Esther Wall passed away last weekend. She left behind a legacy of 9 kids and dozens of grandchildren, and even a few great grandkids like Jarek and Malik. We were expecting to drive up to Idaho tomorrow to attend her funeral, but our soon-to-be-born son changed plans as he started trying to come out a few weeks early. So Tevia is on bedrest and we won't be able to go up.

Since I can't go to the funeral, I thought I'd list some memories of her. I'll be honest, I don't have too many. She wasn't super outgoing and didn't seem to draw a lot of attention to herself. I have many more memories of her spouse - Grandpa Wall. It would seem that similar to her small physical presence being overshadowed by her husband's tall presence, so was her personality. It is too bad I didn't get to know her better. Here are my memories, though few they may be.

- She was a short and stout woman with a unique laugh
- I recall one day I was rubbing my eyebrows and she said she couldn't stand seeing people rub their eyebrows against the grain (I found this odd, so it stuck in my memory)
- She was a great cook, especially her bread. Her fresh bread with butter is one of the greatest tasting memories I have
- She seemed to enjoy camping. My memories of her in Southern Utah on the "desert trip" seem to have her much happier in those circumstances.
- When I became an adult, she seemed to enjoy seeing me. She always commented on how good I looked and how little I changed in appearance (a compliment in my mind).
- The last few times I hugged her (years ago) she seemed to have tears in her eyes - not sad tears, but tears of joy or pride.

We will miss her.