St. Louis Trip

So I thought I'd tell everyone about how my trip to St. Louis went and then this'll count as my journal entry for it and I can stop feeling guilty that I haven't written in my journal about it yet. :)

So Nicole and I arrived in St. Louis Thursday night after an uneventful flight. We got the grand tour of my parents' new kitchen, planned our activities for the next day, and then everyone but Nicole and I went to bed. Dang time difference. So I set up the Wii (I took our's with me to show it off to the family) and played Paper Mario until I was tired enough to sleep.
Friday morning we were off to the zoo with my parents, Nicole, my sister Wendy and her four kids. We met my sister Karen and her husband David and their four kids at the zoo a little later that day, which was when I learned that I was the last to find out that she's pregnant again. Apparently what happened is my mom told Nicole and just assumed that Nicole would tell me. Well, Nicole thought mom would tell me and didn't think to mention it. Needless to say, she's due in October. And then while we were on the subject, I also learned I was the last to know that my brother Michael's girlfriend Sarah is also pregnant and due in August. Same train of miscommunication for that information. So yeah, basically, everyone in my family with functioning reproductive systems is having babies except for me. Meh.

Ok, it's really not that bad and this post is supposed to be about my trip to St. Louis and not my lack of fruit in the womb, so I'll stop whining now. I really am happy for all my siblings to be having babies and what-not. So the zoo actually was pretty fun. It wasn't too warm and it was cloudy, so for St. Louis, it was a pretty nice day. After the zoo it was back to my parents' house for lunch and then some clothes shopping with Nicole and my mom. Found some cute shirts at a second hand store that I like. After that we introduced the family to the Wii. My parents had already seen it at my oldest brother's house but the kids loved it. I think my brother-in-law David loved it the most though. We spent the rest of the night relaxing and playing with the kids.

Saturday morning we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese, half of which was the first time for them. Let's just say I went there to compete for the best aunt in the universe award and I think I won. :) It was really fun for the kids and for us to see them having so much fun. We got some cute pictures and made some really good memories. After that, all of us non-grandparents and non-grandkids went to see Pirates (which was the first time I saw it). Some of us loved it and some of us didn't. I think everyone knows how I feel about it already. If you don't, here's a clue: I cried. A lot. And they were not happy tears. Moving on, my sisters and David and I went to dinner at Chipotle! They finally got a Chipotle in St. Louis, which might actually tip the scales enough for Jacob to consider going there with me sometime before my parents move or die. Then Wendy and Nicole and I went shopping at the cooler mall (i.e. the one with the store where I have a gift card) and I found 3 adorable dresses at the Macy's dress sale. Since I couldn't pick, I just got all 3. :) I very much had the intention to take 2 of the 3 back after I had some more time to think about it and after Jacob had seen pictures of me in them, but well, those intentions took a permenant vacation.

Sunday we just lazed around (my parents have afternoon church) and Nicole got to show off her plumbing skills. My mom dropped some random peice of jewelry down the sink and Nicole got it out. In the process, she discovered that my parents' sink had a leak. I think that was the part that most impressed my dad considering he hadn't even noticed it. Since my mom is now in the nursery, I got to just hang out in there with my youngest nephew, Jesse. I think the other nursery leaders (who didn't know me before I left home) were a little confused because I wasn't his mom and yet I was there...it was more fun than Sunday School though, I'm quite sure. :) Sunday night we sang around the piano for about four hours, which might not sound like fun to some people. But of all my memories from my younger years, singing around the piano on Sunday nights is one of my favorites. That was a lot of fun. Then we just sat around and talked until about 2 am (which is very, very late for my parents).

Monday Nicole was busy fixing the sink where she discovered the leak and my dad was helping her, so I played DDR and just relaxed and packed. We left Monday afternoon and after another uneventful flight, I was safely back in Jacob's arms. Overall, it was a very good trip. I missed Jacob, obviously, but it was fun. I am very happy to say that despite precedent and Jacob's predictions, we watched no movies at home. The only one we saw was Pirates and that was a planned activity and at the theater. Though after I found out that the last time my parents were at the movies was the see Return of the King, I'm really wishing I would have made them come with us.

Cinderella

Yesterday I was doing laundry and cleaning the house and in the middle of making lunch for the kids when Malik looked up at me and asked "mom, are you Cinderella?" I asked him why he would think that and he said, "because you do all the work." It made me laugh. He is so cute.

My Birthday and the Gila Monster

Friday was my 33rd birthday. What a wonderful day it was. I didn't take off of work, but I did leave a little early. The night before I had opened my gifts from my parents. They gave me a wonderful adidas shirt, a great button up shirt and tie and a Paul Cardall CD, who happens to be a friend I grew up with in Utah. They were generous and personal. I am actually listening to the CD right now and it is beautiful. Thank you mom and dad.

We were fortunate enough to have Jacob Webb and Mille and their daughter down so Friday night we ordered some Taco Bell and had a fun evening. Tevia got me some adidas Indiana Pacers shoes. They are awesome. Jarek got me some coupons which were hidden all over the house for giving me a massage and helping me with stretches. I am so lucky to have such a great family. We played RAGE with Jacob and Millie and Risa and I was able to pull off a win on my birthday. It was fun. We topped off the night with some Dairy Queen cake and Simpsons.

Saturday we got up early as it was Tevia's grandmother's 70th birthday. She was having a party up in Globe, AZ so we got up and on the way stopped at Boyce Thompson Arboretum. It was beautiful as we saw many birds and plants. The coolest part of that trip was hearing Jarek say, "hey, I see a gila monster." Most of us were incredulous as we had never seen a gila monster, but sure enough there was a gila monster! We went down to get a closer look. It was so cool. Tevia took some pics and I'll try to post it on here later. Gila monsters, though poisonous, are extremely slow, so we weren't too worried. It was a lot of fun.

The birthday for Tevia's grandmother was nice as we saw a lot of family we haven't seen in a long time. It was a great birthday weekend.

unprepared for test

I administered an 8th grade social studies 2 hour statewide test yesterday at WJ High. there was a fairly good-looking boy, who just sat and stared most of the time. when one of us 4 teachers walked by, (yes, 4 to a class of 28, how ridiculous), he would kind of pretend to write something. I took a look at the test. soooo easy! I could answer every question, and I haven't read a s studies book in years. there were pictures of lots of people standing in line in 1929 or so, and the question was, "what are these people standing in line for?" now, I have seen that pic hundreds of times. it was a soup line in the depression, and, they are studying the depression. duh. who wouldn't know that.
back to my topic. the poor kid looked pretty sad. I think it hit him that he was now suffering the consequences of not preparing for the test, even in the smallest way by paying attention in class.
later, I administered a math test. same reaction to another cute, athletic type guy. he looked lost, not bored. he looked sad, not rebellious. all his friends were busily writing away. he didn't know any of the answers.
I quickly paralled this to our life. we are continuously being tested. we are here to prepare. the next world is just a continuation of what we have learned. if we don't prepare now, we are going to look and feel so stupid when we pass on to that world, if we pass.
the boy's look of confusion and bewilderment was sad to me. he had the same chance to prepare as the others. he had the same teachers, the same books, albeit, maybe different trials at home. we all have different trials here, but we all have the same opportunity. the Lord makes sure of that. he had to face the consequences, and for the moment, they were sad for him,... but I would bet not much later he was over it.
we will all have to face our consequences. what will we say when some angel at the next gate says, why didn't we read our scriptures? etc.
this could be a great talk. I want all of you to know the answers. I want all of you to pass!

Disappearing Bees

Colony Collapse Disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This has been pretty big news in AZ and now I saw this in Wikipedia today. Interesting article. I also found it odd that beekeepers make more money renting their bees for pollination than for honey. Makes sense, but never thought of it.

My quick two cents

About Pirates, I liked it... for the most part. I can see how some people would fall asleep, and there were some parts that were entirely too cheesy (the wedding)... ALTHOUGH... it would probably be a wedding I wouldn't mind being at... better than any other bore-fest I've had to attend (don't worry Millie, I'm not talking about our wedding).

I too have heard several people say how they had a hard time following the plot and understanding the accents... not sure how that's possible... they are all speaking English after all... meh.

Anyway... I agree overall, it was a good movie. But... the end scene after the credits was not worth staying for. bleh.

birthday ideas and hints,

Not that I expect anything, but., there are a few things I want. new scripture case, but a really cool one. money for a hanging flower basket, $15. will do, a new toaster, or a small toaster oven that fits well on the counter, or money to buy one, $33. target, 29. kmart. Gift certificate for Borders or Barnes and Noble.

Tevia, did I tell you that the one necklace you made me, (brown), is too tight. if you could bring some (or buy some here) additional links to add to it?

Bret, hope you are having a good birthday week!

Jarek's just keeps growing up.

So, yesterday Jarek decided to fast for the first time. Neither Bret nor I put the idea in his head and I told him he really didn't have to if he didn't want to, but he was determined. We told him the when we fast, we fast with a purpose, not just to go without food. So he fasted for my sister Risa. He wants her to get married. While we were in sacrament meeting, I passed a water bottle to Malik and then Jarek accidentally took a sip. He realized what he had done and got very upset and worried that his fast wouldn't count since he took a drink. He got very teary-eyed and my heart was so sad for him. I explained that sometimes we forget and make a mistake like that (I told him that sometimes Bret forgets and will accidentally take a drink after he brushes his teeth) and we just apologize to the Lord and then start from that point on with a new resolve not to forget again. He was comforted after that and did a good job fasting.

It is so amazing seeing him grow up. We just switched the rooms around and let him have his own room for the summer. Malik and Enok are in the bigger room and Jarek is in Enok's old room. Jarek loves it and Malik hates it. Malik has been so sad that he has nobody to talk to and he is so lonely. Jarek loves not having Malik in the same room to pester him. I can understand how they both feel. So last night, after Malik was particularly sad, Jarek went into his room and gave him a big hug and a kiss and told him that he loved him. Malik was still sad, but I think it meant a lot to him. Jarek is a very good big brother to Malik.

And I have to say that Malik is a very good big brother to Enok. He really takes good care of him.I have the most wonderful children ever!

Pirates and Food Wars

So we finally got to go see Pirates III (Tevia and I). It was a great date as she got the babysitter and we headed up to see the movie. I was excited to see it, but had read some of the mixed reviews (including ones right on this blog!). I had loved the first one, enjoyed the second one even more, and so had high hopes for the third, but was cautious seeing how some people hated it and I heard of more than one person falling asleep in the movie.

In the end: I loved it! I am not sure if all of us are seeing the same movie. First of all, a few people including Tommy and Risa, had mentioned it was a hard plot to follow. I didn't find this to be true. It seemed to flow very well for me. I think that perhaps some people literally just don't understand what is being said due to the accents. I was captivated from the first scene and loved so many of the performances. Johnny Depp was fantastic as usual, but in this film he had some competition. Geoffrey Rush was amazing as Captain Barbosa - even better than in the first film. I loved, once again, Tia Dalma as her persona steals each scene she is in. Even Davey Jones is amazing and performs well in his dramatic scenes. Hey, I even enjoyed the monkey Jack after hating him in the previous two. I see today that it retained its #1 ranking this weekend which I think will be a surprise to most people. But I thought the film was entertaining and, for a sequel, different. Each film brings new things in this series and this film adds an air of mystery and "Alias-ness" to it. Keira Knightley, after not being impressed with her in the second film, returns in this film with flair and some hotness. She looked mighty fine and tan in this movie which adds a nice dessert for the fine meal that At World's End was. I liked the ending as it was not predictable and made sense. I also enjoyed the setup for a possible fourth film which I am sure will happen. If you stayed til the end, which I doubt most of you did, I also enjoyed the final scene with Will and Keira's kid. Orlando Bloom will never be a great actor, but he certainly does well in fantasy roles where he has to look brave and confident. Legolas and Will Turner were great roles for him.

Last week, or perhaps the week before, Jarek was in a play at his school. The play was called Food Wars and was a spoof on Star Wars that takes place in a food shop. They had tryouts for the parts and Jarek tried out for Dark Chocolate - the equivalent of our fallen Jedi. He did not get the part, but was then asked to be Fruit Juicedrinker (Luke Skywalker). I was so proud of him and saw how he practiced his lines so hard. As I attended the performance the morning before I went to Dayton, Ohio, it was so fun to see him perform. Tevia did a great job on his costume. He was the only one who had all of his lines memorized (with a substantial part) and, besides Darth Chocolate, was really the only kid who understood how to use his voice as a tool to show emotion, humor and emphasis. He got the most laughs from the audience. Later that day apparently he was asked to give his autograph to a few people, which when he told us said that people had given him their autograph. He is a talented child and I'm so glad to have him in our family.

cape cod!

I am so excited about the upcoming trip! it will be great being together. I have some fun ideas for the kids.

"I drive a Dodge Stratus!!"... almost.

Over the past couple of weeks Millie and I have been actively searching for a new (used) car for our growing family. The need for one has become greater since Millie passed her NCLEX exam and has officially earned her LPN Certification!!! That means she'll be looking for, then starting a new job soon!

Our criteria for the new car was simple:
Midsize
Somewhat fuel efficient
Dependable
Affordable
Cute

According to Millie we got all but the last one. But to me, the 2004 Crystler Sebring (AKA Dodge Stratus) is perfect.

It is a Midsize four cylinder, that, for being a domestic car, doesn't get THAT bad of gas mileage. After running countless Carfax reports on countless other vehicles this one made me most at ease... and the fact that it was a certified pre-owned and still under a warranty made the "affordable" part of the deal all the more sweeter. As for the "cute" part... well... I like how they look. Maybe not AS much as some of the other cars we looked at... but considering the cost difference, I think we'll both survive... and Millie seems to agree. :)

pirates

who's all going to pirates? tom went at 11 pm thursday night all the way to danbury with Boomer and his friends, got home at 3am, and went to school. he said it was long and kind of had lots of plots so hard to follow that late at night. dad is taking kathy to the 4:30 showing today. they have asked me, but I fell asleep in the last one. I don't like all the fighting and ugly creatures. I will stay home and make desserts for YW Medallion night tomorrow night. tom is at westpoint today. he had to leave here at 4:30am to get there in time to serve with the scouts at the concession stand for the graduation. VP Cheney is speaking, and security is tight. they had to be there before 7am, even though the speech started at 9. there was a lockdown after 7am. they even called to get all the scout's s security numbers.

Change is good....

It's been a while since I've MADE time to blog. I am now sitting in my new office and approaching two weeks in my new position. It didn't bring much in the way of a pay raise (I'll be getting $4,000 more annually) which I think translates as a loss in pay thanks to Uncle Sam... but to me, that's not the important thing... this is: I will no longer be the "go to" guy (or more accurately the office... uh... B****).

It was getting so stressful carrying the weight of the administration tasks of this rapidly growing company without being recognized for what I was really accomplishing. Now as I gradually pass my duties off to other employees (yes, plural), I realize no one in this company really knew what it was I did. And how could they? They were blinded by human nature and egocentric attitudes. Just about EVERYONE in the company flashes around a "Director of such and such" title or in some cases can't see past the rear of whosoever butt they happen to be kissing.

BUT, is it THEIR fault I was in the position I was? No. I too was just as caught up in my self pity for being overlooked for promotions or pay raises as they are in kissing rear and thinking so highly of themselves.

I think the point of this goes back to what Bret (I think it was Bret) blogged about a while back... mental attitude and personal confidence. I think I set a limitation on myself as "office manager" and was too caught up in focusing on my importance to the company in that role that I was preventing the powers-that-be (including myself) from allowing me to grow and advance. My mental attitude was piss-poor at best on some days, grumbling about my overworked and underpaid lifestyle, and my confidence was all but shot from living in fear of the possibility that, IF I did get a new job and title in the company I would move from being constantly relied upon by all for answers and solutions, to having to ASK for help.

Change is good.

fight in the street

Dad, Ann Rawlings, and I were driving home from a trek meeting in Newburgh and were in the village of Wappingers on 9d. It was about 9:15 and dark. she notices some people crouching over in a side street as we drove by. as she tried to look closer, she observed one of the guys was punching something on the ground in the middle of the street. it took her a moment to realize it was a person. she calmly told us that she thought she saw someone punching someone in the street. dad turned around as quickly as he could. he turned on his brites as we approached the side street. dad and Ann saw someone running away. Ann saw one large man, dad thinks he saw 2 men. it all happened so fast. I was busy looking in my purse for my cell, and I called 911. the guy in the street slowly got up to his knees. dad got out of the car. the guy's face was all bloody. he then tried to stand. he was wobbly. the police came quickly, ( I thought so, dad thinks they took a while). the corner of the street was a bar. the owner came out and the hurt guy went in, along with dad. Ann and I stayed in the car and locked the doors. they knew the guy that had gotten hurt, and he was drunk. they think he knew at least one of the men that beat him up. then he passed out. an ambulnce came. the cops came out and took Ann's statement, phone number, and license number. they told her they would call her for a more formal statement. she really didn't see all that much. it was kind of strange to see it happening in the middle of the street. the guy was lucky that no cars had come up right then, as he was laying down and totally dark. dad said the guy's face was pretty bad. sad world.

I hate the Spurs

What a great game last night! I haven't been so nervous about a game in a long time. It was fantastic. I almost turned the game off. Glad I didn't. But what a way for the league to ruin a great game and run by suspending two of the Suns for a ridiculous rule after a completely cheap foul. I understand rules are rules, but the NBA needs to understand that such a black & white rule will lead to unfairness. Now the dirty team that committed the terrible foul will only have one role player out. Two of the Suns players, who did nothing but stand up in concern for their team leader, are out and are key players. Which team got the better deal? I still have hope the Suns can beat the Spurs in 7, but if they lose it will be a direct effect from this terrible call.

And go Jazz! They've been a fun team to watch. Sloan is a genius.

bluebirds

thanks to a wonderful previous mothers day gift, I get to enjoy bluebirds every year. we have 3 eggs today, 3 yesterday. it is weird that they lay one egg at a time like that. we usually get 4 or 5. I will check and see if there is one more tomorrow. the nest has bluebird eggs in it, but it is not the usual bluebird nest. it is really messy. they usually build very neat, round nests. strange.
I was hoping for a hummingbird feeder this mothers day. hint to tom.

Black vs White - Save $

I read a pretty cool article the other day that talked about how a website with a white background uses about 74 Watts to display while a site with a black background only uses about 59 Watts. A reduction of about 15 Watts. The article went on to say that if Google, which happens to be the most visited site in the world and has a white background, would change its background to black it could save 3,000 Megawatt-hours per year. Though the article was certainly from a "save the world" point of view, the idea is interesting. In my efforts to save you some money and reduce my effect on the world via this blog, I'm going back to black for a while. You can see that though Google hasn't responded, a new site called blackle.com has basically taken Google's search and put it in on a black page. Also, Firefox has now added some extensions to change white sites to black. I've always been a fan of the black background for many things (even my desktop at times which I change frequently).

trip to UT

Tevia, have a great time! Bret, you too! call us and play with us once you have the kids locked up somewhere and under control... :) mom

tennis season

Tom and his partner, Harry Yee, went undefeated this year! they beat Arlington last night after a gruelling long first set tie-breaker. then they found their nitch and creamed them, 6-1. Tom was in tip-top shape, and getting his first serves in with great speed. the newspaper was there taking pics. today, there is a big article about the rivalry of the two high-schools, and that ketcham won. but after taking tons of pics of tom and harry, there is a pic of an arlington guy. and although they do note that tom and harry won, they don't even mention that they went undefeated. he now gets to play in the tournament on friday.

The Brick Testament

The Brick Testament

Pretty funny stuff. Pretty accurate, too. What better way to teach your kids the Bible than making the stories out of LEGO? Read Esau's Birthright - it's pretty good.

The Mormons - PBS Special

I'm not sure if everyone was able to watch this PBS special, but we did and we also taped it (in case anyone would want it - but it is also available online @ http://www.pbs.org/mormons/view/).

I definitely liked the second night better than the first, but I would say that overall the series was positive for the Church. But as I watched it I knew that many members of the Church would not find it positive at all - and in fact many would feel quite uncomfortable and even angry. In fact, the program actually touched upon the reason why this would happen, though to a much larger extreme. I felt that this program was definitely marketed toward and was based upon the opinions of older generations. As I watched it I told Tevia I would be curious to see a program based more on GenX or GenY. Many of the things they mentioned might be true (or perhaps a better term would be "common") for things mentioned, but for the younger generations I don't think it is as big of a deal. A couple of examples would be excommunication and homosexuality. They had several examples of members who were shunned due to their excommunication or same-sex attraction. Though certainly this occurs today, I do think it is much more rare. I certainly don't shun any of the people I know in that situation. In fact, I would love them even more. Anybody who would shun someone in that situation does not listen to the current prophet who has made it quite clear on numerous occasions of the error to act in such a way. Indeed, it wouldn't be Christ-like either. And yes, we are Christians.

I also think that many members do suffer from paranoia or fear of history. Perhaps the Church has helped support this, but there is nothing wrong with questioning. There is nothing wrong with learning that a prophet of God is not perfect. They certainly were not in the Bible! The key to the Church is a testimony that is given by the Holy Ghost; not in evidence from Mayan culture or Brigham's thoughts on blacks. In fact, the program aired one of the great talks of Pres. Hinckley over the past few years where he emphatically states the one thing our religion hinges upon. Either the Book of Mormon is true and hence this religion is exactly what it asserts or it is false and the entire religion is a farce. It is so simple. As missionaries we pound this into our investigators and hopefully we have taken the time ourselves to find out the veracity of the book and the prophet Joseph. But if I know it is true (which I do!) knowing that Joseph Smith liked to dig for gold will not shake my testimony. In fact, nothing should. Of course, our testimonies will grow and shrink over our lifetime. But Mormons should not fear history or lack of scientific evidence, etc. On the program the one man put it perfect when he said it is merely a question of time. All religions are built upon unbelievable and miraculous happenings. The Exodus is respected (by many) because it happened thousands of years ago. Mormonism is so "new" and close that it is more difficult to believe due solely to that fact. Had Joseph lived in 1000 AD I don't think most critics or even members would think twice.

I do feel the program spent a little too much time on polygamy and the Mountain Meadow Massacre. Not sure why they needed an entire hour for those two topics. Some of the people on the show made me laugh. Sarah Gordon made me chuckle every time she came on with her crazy hair and way of speaking; though she also seemed very positive toward the Church. Most impressive to me was Terryl Givens (wrote "By the Hand of Mormon" - great read by the way - thanks to Jake for that) who throughout the whole show I thought was Mormon until I figured out who he was. Marlin Jensen did fantastic and actually got the most airtime, which I thought was generous of Helen Whitney who produced the show. I did think that unfortunately Elder Packer came off a little on the rough side (though he only had 20 seconds or so of time) with his response to his quote on gays and scholars.

Most impressive I thought was the ending. It was ended on a very positive note AND a very unique thought. The guy they quote (and I have forgotten who it was) mentioned that all religions were created to defy the inevitable death. He then states that no religion defies and flat out denies death more than the Mormons. I would agree. We truly are unique in our belief of a plan of salvation and an infinite existence. More so than any religion I know of I would also agree we have overcome the fear of death and actually embraced it as almost a reward. It was a great point I had never thought of before.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. As mentioned, I don't think many others will feel as positive about it (though the Church itself did in their press release here).

I thought it was a great tool to talk about the Church with others. For some good blogs, check out this site in the Washington Post.

Everyone's got something

It is kind of interesting talking to women who have children. I am discovering more and more that almost everyone I come in contact with that has children, have children that has "issues". Now this can range from speech problems, developmental problems, sensory problems, physical problem, psychological problems, behavioral problems, the list goes on and on. Everyone has a therapist of one kind or another. Growing up, I didn't really know many people or kids that had any of these problems, but now it seems to be a normal occurrence that one or many of the children in families have these issues.

Some people are chalking it up to poor environmental conditions, pesticides, bad air quality etc... Some people say it is because more and more women are having children at an older age and therefore have a higher chance of having children with these problems.
Still others say that we are letting too many people survive with these problems and/or diseases and this is making our gene pool quite weak. (We are forcing people to spend more time in the "shallow end of the gene pool" to quote The Lion King)
Another contributing factor to some of these issues (mostly the behavioral one) is because parents aren't being parents. They are having everyone else raise their children.

I think it is a combination of all these factors. Is there much we can do about it? I don't know, I am not a scientist and I haven't done any research into this. All I know is what I am seeing. So many women I know have at least one child who has one or multiple problems. It seems like a sad, scary trend for children. Should we still be bringing these children into our families. Absolutely. I wouldn't trade the experiences and things I have learned having Jarek and Malik for anything in the world. It is nice to see and understand the big picture. I can be stressed and worried for a time, but I know that the struggles here on earth are but a short time. My kids are wonderful, and they will have wonderful lives and in the end it doesn't matter what physical limitations they have, because we know their spiritual potential!

Enok's new trick

Okay, so Enok has reached a new milestone. This morning I walked into his room and he was standing up in his crib! I was shocked, then started laughing. So I had to move the crib mattress down as that is the general rule when they start standing up. "They" also recommend to take down any mobiles, but I left his up because he loves it and the mattress is really pretty low. He can't yet reach the mobile with the mattress down on the lowest setting.

It is fun seeing him hit all the "normal" milestones. Time to start moving things off of shelves that he will be able to reach at standing height now.

Fett Clan Miis

Enok
Bret
Tevs
Malik
Jarek

The best Mii ever!!!

Here is my Mii. Jacob's looks more like him than mine does like mine.
We made one for ELLERY too.

My Mii!!!!

That was a pretty cool link Bret! Thanks, it made for a good date night, cause when you got a lil stink butt like CJ it's hard to get out for a "real" date! :)

Here I am!!

A Nice Surprise

We have all been talking about the degradation of our society but I had a very nice thing happen to me and the kids yesterday. I had to stop by the grocery store right after PT to grab a few items for dinner. On the way out to the car an old man stopped me and shoved $15 bucks into my hand and said that he wanted me to take my kids to get ice cream. He said he had three little grandkids and didn't get to see them very often and seeing my kids made him miss his. So he insisted that I take them to get ice cream, his treat. I know there are good people in this world, it is just nice to see it first hand. This experience gave me the opportunity to talk to Jarek and Malik about how it made them feel about the kindness of this man to our family. It made me think of that movie, "Pay it Forward", and I in turn had a greater desire to do something kind for someone I didn't know. I just wanted to share that with all of you.

BTW, I made an AWESOME dinner last night. I made this Thai-style tilapia served with a seven grain rice mix and a strawberry spinach salad! Soooooooooo yummy. The kids just had grilled cheese and tomato soup, but Jarek at least tried the fish.

Create your Wii

For those of us who don't have a Wii or time to create a Mii on the Wii. We should then post all of our own Miis!

Mii Editor: Create and Edit Mii Characters for your Nintendo Wii™

Guns and Statistics

This article is a great example of how not to trust statistics, and a good addition to our gun talk.

The Numbers Guy - WSJ.com

Current Events - My 2 Cents

Life seems to be slowing down a little here at the Wall homestead (in Phoenix, that is). But time still has been slim around the compy. So I thought I'd start things this week with my view on a few things happening in the world.

NBA Playoffs: these started off great this weekend. San Antonio lost, the Suns won, Dallas lost. The only thing that could have made it better was to have the Pacers make the playoffs (dang you Dunleavy!) and the Jazz win (mostly for pops). I am looking forward to this year's playoffs. There are a few good teams out there and I believe the Suns have a legitimate chance. Good to see the Brazilian score 26 and 6th man of the year.

Alec Baldwin's voicemail: I'm not sure why this is news, especially since this just doesn't seem that remarkable to me. Was it a harsh voicemail? Sure. Should he have said those things to his daughter? Of course not. But do almost all parents say things like that at some point in their lives? YES! Even my wonderful parents have said stupid, mean, if not absurd things to me when I was young. And I probably, though not always, deserved it. Give this guy a break and stay out of his life. I'm not a big Baldwin fan, though I do find him hilarious in 30 Rock!

Virginia Tech Shootings: When I first heard of this during the week I of course thought back on Columbine. I remember watching with awe as the images and story unfolded. It was horrific and sad and terrible and so many things. As I watched this week I admit I wasn't as surprised or horrified. I'm not sure if I have been desensitized or if we just see so much of this stuff now, but it just didn't seem as big of a deal as I think it should be. Maybe because it was a college and not a high school. I'm not sure. But the thing I did grasp from this, especially after watching the shooter's videos, is that this is not the end of this sort of thing. Our country has changed and we have become a violent, ungrateful, and mean society. We will continue to breed people like Cho by making fun of them and truly taking for granted what we have. He looked up to the Columbine boys and more will look up to him as well. As a country we have learned to pull ethnicities together (to an extent) but continue to distance other groups. The rich become richer and, as I believe the shooter points out correctly, they are losing their morals and humility. We think we deserve everything including instant gratification and no morals.

I am an optimist, but in this area I think we will see more take place. We are a breeding ground for people like Cho. And if we don't provide them our support and they perhaps aren't getting it from home then some will go crazy and go off. It is frightening as a parent to know that things like this can happen. But I don't think we can avoid it. In my opinion, and I know that MANY will disagree with me, I do think we need stronger gun laws. I am not opposed to guns, but if we can limit availability of hand guns and automatic weapons I think we can avoid the large number of casualties. It ain't so easy to shoot from the hip and reload quickly with a deer rifle or shotgun. But anybody who has played GoldenEye or any worse video game can aim, fire and quickly reload a handgun. If Cho had a rifle or shotgun there is no way he could have killed so many people so quickly. I'm not sure why gun enthusiasts are so supportive of hand guns. A good rifle will work for hunting and self protection if that is what you want it for. I was saddened by all of the families affected by this tragedy, including Cho's family. Our world is changing and we need to be more aware. We learned from 9/11 the need to sacrifice a few for the good of the many. The same will need to take place in situations like this. We need more heroes. We need more kindness. I am the first to look introspectively and see that, outside of work, I am not an openly friendly person. I mind my own business in most cases. I need to smile more and wave and introduce myself. I shouldn't be afraid or think they want nothing to do with me. We need to build communities again. We need to create bonds. Only then can we reduce the risk of more tragedies like this.

Abandoned @ Work

Anyone want a job? Some of you may know that many things have changed at my work. I know have a title of "Director of Client Services," have US domestic clients as well as my international clients, have a new boss, etc. And over the past two weeks I have had several people quit/leave my team. Yesterday my associate manager (assistant to the manager?) quit to go home to be an at home dad. A noble cause certainly, but I am down more than 5 people. Yes, I have a team of 25 now, but that is still a good 20% rate of turnover in the past couple of months.

So am I the worst boss in the world? Is that what has brought this on? I don't think so. In fact, most of my employees that leave stay in touch with me for years after moving on. Many have gone on to promotions as well. On a positive note it is always nice to start with new players. You have the ability to mold them and they bring excitement to the team. The hardest will be replacing my team lead/manager. He has been my right-hand guy for nearly 2 years. I have plenty of worthy people to take his place, but there is always so much political stuff to work out. If you hire so-and-so then what's-her-face complains to HR that it wasn't fair. I hate that stuff. I honestly don't know who to choose. I have about 3 or 4 employees in mind. We'll see what happens. I will make sure I have some fellow managers in the interviews so there is no complaint of bias. Just recently I received a call from Pru internal investigations investigating a complaint of bias/prejudice for the promotion of someone last year. Fortunately I didn't make the decision and was just asked to provide my information and data (which is highly confidential). But the correct choice was made - and yet still so many people have to be subjected to scrutiny just to MAKE SURE. I know that some people are biased and make choices based on things that perhaps they should not, but at some point people have to stop being sore losers.

So if you know anyone in AZ who is looking for a job, let me know.

BSG - Thoughts

OK, I know not everyone watches Battlestar and I know that of those who do, not everyone has finished the season. The link below was something I read which sheds some light on where the series might be going. And interestingly enough, it seems back on the old Mormon theology track. Now, I have not seen the original series, except for a few memories from childhood. After reading this I really want to Netflix them and check them out. The biggest thing that stood out from this fan observation is the pic which has the words "You are now what we once were." This is referring to the beings of light. This would be such an awesome direction to bring the show! Could Starbuck be a being of light?

For those who haven't seen the season, stop reading at this point. My thoughts on the end of this season are mixed. There were a few fantastic episodes that I loved. One poignant scene that stands out is when Roslin is on the stand and Apollo starts going down the path that she may be taking that one substance again. I love the part, which she does with such emotion, as she whispers to him "Don't do this." You can feel the pain in her and her disappointment in him.

I also enjoyed the use of Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower" song as part of the finale. That was pretty cool. It will be very interesting indeed to see where next season, which appears to be the last, will end up. If it follows the path of the link's speculation, I will be very happy. I am hoping the first few episodes, which at this point we have to wait until 2008, will be as awesome as the first few of this season. The Adama Maneuver was so amazing and stunning that the episode itself made this season great. Check out the link.

http://proggrrl.livejournal.com/7830.html

Oh the injustice of it all...

I was witness to a very sad, disturbing thing today. I was in the project potential class today helping grade papers. Now understand that these students are the "gifted" students in the school. Today, Jarek's age group (there is the older and younger age groups and they are split yet again into math and reading throughout the day) for reading were given an assignment to work with a partner (who was assigned to them) and create a dialog together. They had about 30 minutes to work on this. The teacher then went around the room and asked each pair to read their dialog to the class. When it was Jarek's turn, he promptly read his sentence he had written which was "Ian, what is your favorite movie?" to which Ian replied "My favorite movie is, I like to drink milk." Some of the kids snickered, and Mrs. Miles asked them if they had more dialog. When they said "no" she started to yell and ask why they were wasting time and how could they be so bad and waste all that time and only have two sentences. I sat back and tried not to get too emotional. But wait, it gets worse. (As Jarek was leaving I asked him why they only got two sentences and he said because he was trying to discuss with the other boy that his answer wasn't correct because he was just making it up. You all know how Jarek strives to get things correct no matter what.)

Between classes, Mrs. Miles informed me that this kid, Ian, was a trouble child. He had already gotten in trouble by her at morning recess because he brought a digi-pet to school and the kids aren't allowed to have those at school. She told him to put it away and not take it out again. So later that morning, he has another class with her and as he is waiting in the hall he is playing with his digi-pet. She comes unglued. Here is what happened next:

She brings him into the classroom with a great display of noise and promptly, and a bit forcefully sat him down right in front of me. She then said "Mrs. Wall, can you tell him how you felt about the fact that he wasted 30 minutes of time in the last class and was only able to come up with one sentence." This was done totally in front of his peers and quite loudly as well. I felt very uncomfortable and put on the spot. The look in this kids eyes broke my heart. I tried to be fair and tactful. I said, it was a little disappointing that he only did one sentence, and maybe next time he could try a little harder. Mrs. Miles then took the next ten minutes to berate, belittle and humiliate this child in front of me and in front of his peers. I was so embarrassed and sick in my heart for this boy. He just looked at Mrs. Miles with a glazed look on his face and you could tell that he was somewhere far away escaping the embarrassment. She then made him call his dad in front of the class and explain why he was in trouble. I left there so upset and on the verge of tears. I have always known she has a short temper, and singles kids out that are more problematic, but this was way too much to involve a parent volunteer. I am mustering up the courage to confront her with how it made me feel and that I think she handled the situation very poorly.

I don't care how "bad" or obnoxious or ADD or whatever a kid is, there is no reason in this world to humiliate a child, especially in front of his or her peers. I guess although Mrs. Miles has shown a bit of favoritism toward my child, and has been of huge value to our family in getting Jarek very good teachers, I have to say that I am somewhat relieved that she is retiring. She is a good person, just sometimes not very effective in how she motivates, encourages or understands the kids in her class. Nobody is perfect. I know this. I was just shocked and embarrassed at how this situation unfolded. It has given me a new resolve to be an even better parent and to help my children understand even more how valuable and precious they are. I feel very deeply sorry for all the children who don't have parents that give them the support, stability and confidence they need to truly succeed in school and life. Oh the injustice of it all.......

Longing for foreign lands

The last few months I have really been itching to have more international opportunities, especially in my career. I've talked about it with Tevia and it still is an important goal in our lives. So I have been preparing to make some sort of move by networking and pleading my case at work. I am hoping to have a talk with my boss (he says in the next week or two) soon to discuss my desires. I am going to be open and honest and say that international opportunities are important to my personal and family goals. Ideally these options would come from Prudential as I love my job and company. I have several ideas that would fulfill my desires on different levels. Obviously a long-term expatriate assignment would be ideal and a short-term one almost as good. But I am willing to settle for occasional visits for short periods of time to the other offices. In each situation I can provide value propositions for Prudential that I could bring as well as show that it would help in my career progression and make me even more valuable than I already am to Prudential.

Another option would be to go and work locally at one of our foreign offices. This isn't ideal as I would have to move myself (and family), but in speaking with my good friends/colleagues in China we could make it work. There will be several options in our Hong Kong office over the next year that the VP there would love for me to take. They would sponsor my work permit and help our family find housing, etc. The tax rate in HK is only 15% so we could have some substantial savings on taxes to help address the slightly higher cost of living. This option is something I am working both sides of, so I will be discussing with my new boss, but have also already won approval from the Hong Kong office. How cool would that be? The biggest downside to being a local hire in another country is getting back to the USA. Many people end up being "trapped" overseas as they may not have a lot of opportunities back in the USA. I definitely don't plan to keep my family overseas forever and would like to minimize that risk.

We'll see what happens, but I am fairly sure that this is a direction I want my career to go. I went to Thunderbird for a reason. Though Prudential might want me to further my career locally and go up the management ladder, I would gladly put that off a few years and focus on my international experience and stay at the same level. Money is not my goal in life. I want experiences and growth opportunities for both me and my family. I think global travel will bring that. My life in Brazil was certainly made more special due to the spiritual nature of the work, but the fact is that just being in Brazil had a dramatic impact on my perspective of life and even the gospel. I want my family to have that same opportunity to gain those perspectives. It brings a sense of gratitude and humility that can rarely be gained if you never leave the USA; in fact, many people who leave still don't get it even living abroad.

The hardest part would if any of this happens, especially the longer term solutions, is being away from family. But to be honest, it isn't like we see our family that often as it is living here in Phoenix. We would just have to make each opportunity even more memorable. And maybe we could get mom and pops to leave the comfort of the States.

Romney Article - Interesting

Interesting that people would rather have a woman or african-american more than a Mormon as president. I wouldn't have expected this strong perception (not that I think a Mormon should be MORE than a woman or black person).

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/09/opinion/09woodward.html?_r=3&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

Ellery update.

We got Ellery's PKU test results back yesterday... the doctors are worried (and now so are we) because they said the results were "not normal." We have to take her back in. Please keep her in your prayers for us!

Thanks.

Desert Trip~~ Tevia's Version

This was a fantastic trip! I am so glad that we were able to go. I find it hard to believe that Bret and I have been married for almost 11 years and this is the first time we have actually gone.

Bret did a great job of summing up the events of the trip, so I will just relay my own feelings.

I was so impressed with Jarek and Malik. I really was amazed at the stamina they showed in hiking and climbing on the rocks. This brought me a lot of joy seeing them out in nature and enjoying it so much. I especially loved watching Malik playing in the fire. I know this doesn't sound like a rational thing to say, but as I LOVE playing in the fire, it warmed my heart to see that one of my kids enjoys it so much as well. Jarek was a bit more cautious regarding the fire.

I want to relate this funny thing that Jarek said. On the first night we were there, Jarek was scampering to the rocks with Luke and Gabe. Both the younger boys wanted to just take off and climb the rocks. Jarek, being the responsible kid that he is quickly admonished them with "Don't you think we need to be supervised". What a kid! He is growing up so fast I can hardly stand it. It is so hard letting go of all the control!

I had forgotten how much I enjoy camping. I loved looking up at the stars and actually seeing more than ten of them. I loved the campfire. I loved the closeness of being together as a family out in the elements. I loved hiking and enjoying some of the beauties of the earth that the Lord has given us to enjoy. I loved not having to worry about giving my kids a bath! I loved driving in the Jeep! ( I really want one!!! ) I loved smelling like smoke when I went to bed at night. I loved the smell of the tent. And I even loved the dirt. I realize I don't let my kids get dirty enough.

This trip was well worth whatever money we put into it. I really hope that we continue to do things together as a family to build these memories that we and our children will keep forever. Time together is well worth any price. I especially think it is so cool that our kids got to sleep in the same tent their grandpa and dad slept in when they were kids. That is amazing to me. Not many kids these days has that legacy.

Thank you Wall family for continuing this amazing family tradition. I hope that we get to go on the desert trip many more times in our lives.

Desert Trip 2007 - Bret's Story

What a great trip! Years ago we used to go down to Arches as a family. If you were to read my journals from back then, you would find that it was the time of year I most looked forward to. I remember going to grandma and grandpa Wall's home and sleeping in the basement. We would wake up around 4 AM for the drive down. I could hardly sleep I was so excited. Once or twice we even went down in the bus, which I loved. The only other memories that would compare for me about the Wall side of the family were the 4th of July's at the park.

Some 20 years later we returned to the hallowed place of my childhood. I must admit I didn't think it would meet my expectations. How could it? I'm now 20 years older, have kids, don't like camping as much, etc. But it did meet expectations. Here is the story.

Wednesday I left work early to pick up our SUV we had rented. We called on the way to make sure we were going to the right place (we weren't! Good thing we called) and to make sure they had our vehicle. They said they did. Tevia dropped me off and I went to the counter to be told they did NOT have a 7 passenger SUV, but could give me a Suzuki XL7, or something like that. I patiently explained to the guy that we needed the bigger SUV and that is why we called just 30 minutes earlier. I admit that they were very nice, though they did not have anything for me. He called a bunch of people to see if they had anything else like a Jeep Commander, etc. Nada. As he continued trying to resolve my issue I said a few prayers and threw out my good vibes. How could I not get something? I had been so positive something cool would come out of this. I didn't want to bring our van. Right then a guy brought in some keys and the guy behind the counter said, "hey, we got ya a Commander!" Had I had cash I would have given the guy a tip. But I didn't. I ended up getting a reduced rate since it was smaller and for my troubles. In the end I am SOOO glad we got an SUV.

We headed out up through Northeast AZ and ended up in Blanding, UT late at night where we stayed at a motel. After a few hours sleep we had some great waffles at the breakfast and drove up to the campsite. I had obviously been to the site before, but it was 20 years ago and I didn't drive back then. Pops had sent me some good instructions and shown me on Google Maps the exact site. It worked out great as we got on the dirt road and found the turnoff to the site fairly easily. The road was pretty bad. In fact, as we got closer the road I thought I remembered taking as a kid seemed to be gone and now the road went into the wash. I got out of the Jeep to see if it was passable and when I came out of the wash I saw another icon of my childhood: the big green army tent. The Jeep did great in the big ruts and made it look like I drive this stuff all the time. In fact, I really liked the Commander. My only qualm would be the size. With the third seat up there is absolutely NO storage room. With it down there is a LITTLE storage room. But I was so glad we had it.

We pitched our tent. Nobody was in camp at the time so we ate lunch and then did some rock climbing with the kids. Climbing the rocks was by far the most fun activity of my childhood. I wasn't sure how well my boys would do with this given their physical limitations, but they did awesome. I had Enok strapped on my back in the baby backpack. Malik climbed through a small crack that the rest of us couldn't fit through and this showed me they were excited and weren't afraid to really explore. I loved it. When we got down my pops and brothers showed up with my grandfather. I hadn't seen my grandpa in years - and though he is certainly much older than the last time I saw him, he didn't look all that different. In fact, I think he was wearing the same clothes. :-) He seems to always wear the same clothes: tan or green pants and long sleeve shirts. Later my cousins showed up (Martin and Daniel Woodland). I loved the Woodlands as a kid and they certainly were my favorite cousins to spend time with. Later that night my mom and Kathy and Cari showed up. We caravaned them in as their Accord wouldn't make it to the camp.

At night my siblings and I and our wives sat around the campfire and talked until late. It seems that usually it ends up being my and Jake and Kathy and Tommy (and Tevia and Cari) alone at the end of the night whenever we are together. I love my siblings and had fun talking and laughing with them. They are great people - and now all are adults. I am glad we are so close.

The next day we went into Arches and saw Delicate Arch, Balancing Rock and eventually made our way back to the Devil's Garden. This used to be one of my favorite hikes as a kid and we hiked in to see Landscape Arch and Wall Arch. Memories flooded my mind as I walked and smelled the smells. The weather was wonderful. We did great considering we had two kids with muscle conditions, a grandma with a bad back, a sister with a bad back, and a brother who is always looking for ways to kill himself. I was able to have some good talks with my mom and Tommy.

That night even more Walls showed up as the Noalls came in (and Brian Christensen and Wendy had come earlier, too) and we sat around the fire talking and laughing. It was wonderful to see family and learn about others. Once again at the end of the night it was the perfunctory Wall clan. This night wasn't as cold as the night before. The boys and I along with the other Walls (pops, moms, Kathy, Tommy, Jake/Cari) slept in the army tent. Tevia stayed in our tent with Enok, which worked out well as she was able to give him more attention without waking up others in the big tent. That was left to others. The first night Tommy woke everyone up as he was humming/mumbling something. We eventually all laughed before he was woken up. The second night Jake gave us a memorable moment as he yelled out in a serious tone: "everyone get out of the tent! Bugs are falling everywhere!" I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. A few minutes later Kathy asked if we should look to see if there really were bugs. Good times.

Saturday we woke up, packed, had a great breakfast and headed out. Our family stopped at "hole in the rock" on the way back which was fun. The short trip was full of memories and fun. In Brazil, and in the Portuguese language, there is a term that does not have an English equivalent. It is the word/term "saudades." I would say that this trip brought me many saudades. Saudades means like a feeling of reminiscence and good memories and sadness of times gone by and wishing that you could relive those wonderful moments/times. That's how this trip was for me. 40 years after my father first camped in this spot I was there again with my own kids reliving what I had been through just 20 years ago.

Though the trip cost some money and travel, these experiences are priceless. I don't think there could be better investments than moments like these. We need to do these things more, especially as we all grow older. Life is fragile and unexpected. Things can change at any moment. The only things we can take with us from this world are our beliefs and memories. This memory will be a great one. Now if only I could use Dumbledore's gadget to hold on to it longer. Until that comes to pass, this blog will have to do.

desert trip

sure was fun! I guess I would have had fun being together anywhere, ... but I did especially enjoy the old familiar place. I don't think I would want to stay longer than 2 or 3 days; everything gets so dirty! I was glad the weather co-operated. It is cold here, even snow possible. brr. Tevia, I need a few of those cure words from Malik to put in my journal. I can't remember any of them. Again, I was amazed at the strength improvement of your boys! wow is all I can say! Enok is adorable! Bret and Jacob, I was glad you had good memories of the trip. Cari, what did you think? Tom liked climbing around on the rocks. I don't know if we can get him to blog about it. I fell in love with Savannah. what a cutie! I think grandpa had a good time. I hope I wasn't too much a burden for Cari. sorry I couldn't help more. I tried not to be jealous when you all got to hike. it was a pretty place to just sit and ponder. hope it was worth the drive, money, and time to go for all of you. it was for me!

conference

ok, to get everyone to blog this weekend, I think everyone should have to blog their favorite conference talk. gotta love conference weekend. !

The Secret

This is actually - in a way - in response to Bret's blog about the book The Secret. No, I haven't read it, and until I read your post I had never heard of it... I tend to be out of the loop since we don't really have TV now and even if we did, we would NOT be watching Opra (I know I know, hers wasn't the only show to talk about it).

Anyway... It's interesting that I was just thinking about this concept lately - the power of the mind. I too believe that each of us has the power to bring about "self fulfilled prophesies." I've seen it all to often in my own life (as well as in the lives of others) not to. Unfortunately, unlike Bret, I think my self-fulfilled prophecies tend to be negative. It's been a persistent life-long struggle with me (and I think even within our family). However, there is good news:

Despite the fact that I (and most of us Webb’s and Borrego’s) am so good at projecting negativity upon me by the power of thought, life is not all bad. I've been blessed with an amazing family that, although they may not truly know me, who I am, or what I face each day (good or bad), I know they still love and care about me. I know they are there (and even here) for me. Of all the things I've doubted or struggled with in life since leaving home, the love our family has for each other has never been questioned (I think for this reason I was so shocked to hear from Tevs that my family seems to think otherwise simply based on the fact that I live in Utah and don't visit all that often)... but this blog is not about that.

The point is, I can look back and clearly recall a number of occasions where I have ruined relationships, lost opportunities, and performed poorly simply as a result of negative thinking (causing my own self fulfilled prophesy). I can also recount occasions where positive thought has brought about positive results. It makes sense then - as I've heard said before - that if you are unhappy with the situation you are in, perhaps you should think about changing your attitude rather than trying to change the situation.

easter

are we doing any Eastery bunny type things on the desert trip? we can play hide the eggs at least. let me know what a grandma should or should not do or bring. :)

Finetune - The Secret

A few weeks ago I posted about the amazing site pandora.com. I still use this site a lot to learn new music, but I found another site that lets me listen to music I already know - without having to illegally download it or store it on my computer. At finetune.com you can create playlists - and the concept is to create mixtapes - like you did (well, I did) when you were young. You can then listen to these or share them. It is free and the only real limitation is that you can only have three songs by one artist in each playlist and you have to have a certain amount of songs - but you can press the "I'm lazy" button to fill in the rest if you don't want to take the time. I have posted a recent playlist I created of music I used to have on tapes that I was never able to really buy CDs for or download. Pretty cool. Catch it while you can as these sites probably won't be around much longer as the RIAA is trying to sue these sites. You know - like Napster.

Have you heard of the book "The Secret?" It is a top seller and has gotten a lot of airtime lately. I haven't read it personally, but from what I've seen it should have been written by me! Actually, it really is just rehashing a lot of thoughts of previous authors. But the concept is that you can get anything you want in life by "thinking" it to happen. Kinda like the power of positive thinking. I am such a big proponent of this way of thinking. I truly believe - and live the concept - that we can make our lives what we want them to be. People make themselves miserable or happy. It is what we imagine for ourselves that happens. There is even, in my mind, religious support to this as we are often told that we will receive what we pray for (yes, there are limitations). I love this subject as I believe we all create self-fulfilling prophecies for ourselves. If we believe our marriage will suck and be hard - it will! If I believe I am going to be successful and get the next promotion - I will! The secret is you really have to believe - or we might say have faith. One excellent book that I love to read that dwells on this subject is Dune by Frank Herbert. In it the prophet Muad'Dib starts to wonder whether or not he really is a prophet or if he is just making his prophecies come true. By imagining something and then setting things in motion for that to happen. This truly is a big concept as you can imagine the power of God to be akin to what he imagines happens. Are there divine laws of nature that truly are manipulated by our thoughts or desires? If you study faith and priesthood it would seem that this may be the case. So if you happen to read the book, let me know if it is good. I will be working on a career changing thought over the next few months. I still need to convince myself that it is what I want - but when I do I'll let you know if it worked. It worked with Tevia (i.e. she married me - you think that would have happened without some voodoo????).

From the pulpit, compliment, and my two cents on Christmas

Our sacrament meeting had a few extra minutes today when the scheduled talks were finished, and so our bishop stood up to fill the time with some counsel for the ward. He mentioned increasing our fast offerings and the ward goals that he encouraged us to fast for on Fast Sunday in two weeks. One he mentioned was that our Primary and youth programs were getting smaller. So he said that we need more kids in the ward and we should fast and pray to know what we can do to bring more kids to the ward. So I leaned over to Jacob and asked him, "Did you hear that? The bishop just asked us to have babies. If they need more kids in the Primary, we'd better get started." Considering our constant baby discussion, we thought it was pretty funny.

And Jacob is forcing me to share the following: My company is trying to hire two more analysts (people who would do what I do) and they have been having a hard time finding someone they like. So two of my bosses said to me this last week on separate occasions that one of the things that is making hiring this year so hard is that I am/was so perfect for the job and that none of current applicants quite measure up. So, big compliment from my local powers that be.

And finally, here's my two cents on Christmas this year: it make more money sense to do Christmas somewhere in the West that's within driving distance of Phoenix, Provo or both. Two plane tickets instead of nine is a pretty big difference. As for Provo, Phoenix or somewhere in between, I'm up for whatever. And I've never actually cooked a turkey, so I'm not recommending that I be put in charge of Christmas dinner. In fact, I highly discourage it. I like the condo in Park City idea, but I don't know how difficult it would be to make that idea come to fruition. I love Phoenix in the winter but I don't know how my time off is going to shake out this year. I think as long as I don't take very long for Thanksgiving, I'll be good to take at least a week for Christmas. Anyway, the world doesn't revolve around me (obviously) so what I'm trying to say is that I'm/we're completely flexible though I think doing it somewhere out west is a better plan. Well, that's all, folks.

Zoo

I took the boys to the zoo this week since it was their spring break. We went with a mom and her two daughters. One of the daughters is in Malik's special needs class. Her name is Montie. We had decided to meet up at the zoo at 9:00 in the morning on Wednesday. Right off the bat I was super impressed. I believe this is the first time EVER that we have invited someone to go to the zoo with us that showed up before us. And we were on time. Every other person I have met up with has been late...

We saw the sting rays first of all. My kids have been before, but her girls had not. (her other daughter is 14) We had very good timing and got there right when they were feeding the sting rays, so everyone got a piece of fish to feed them. Jarek dropped his in, but Malik got the sting ray to eat his. It was really cool because their mouths just kind of opened up funny and slurped up the fish. Malik loved it. Montie was a little nervous to do it, so she gave her fish to Malik who happily fed another sting ray. The boys leaned over touching them and encouraged Montie to do the same. After many attempts (she would reach her hand in then pull it away just as the sting rays would come close) she finally touched one and everybody cheered her on for overcoming her fear. It was neat to watch, and her mom was so proud of her.

We decided to let the kids map out our course and they chose to ride the "train" around the park. We got off at the farm area. We took our time wandering around and the kids dug in the compost pile thinking it was great fun pulling out old banana peels and chunks of celery and bits and pieces of food that was mixed in the dirt. Montie got right in there with the boys and her mom was amazed.

When we got to this part by the raccoons, there was a "cave" that you could walk into to see inside the exhibit. the boys went into the cave. I was standing on the other side of the exhibit to wave to to the kids. There were little round glass windows that let you look from the cave into the raccoon exhibit and you could wave to the people inside the cave. Montie kept looking over to where they were and wanted to go, but seemed hesitant. Lori, Montie's mom, was telling me that Montie doesn't wander out of sight of her mom because she has separation fears. Well, Montie kept eyeballing the boys and decided to follow them. The boys urged her to come to the cave, and were careful to look out for her and to make sure she was near them. Lori started having a panic attack of sorts saying that she gets very anxious when Montie is out of her sight for any length of time. I told her to sit down and just breathe. She looked really nervous but I told her there were only two ways out and we could see both exits so they couldn't really escape. The kids were really only there for about 4 minutes, but it was a good for both Lori and Montie. I have been trying give my kids a little more "rope" if you will, to explore and move farther away from my grasp and sight. It is very hard, but it seemed to be a little easier having someone there who has anxiety worse then me when it comes to watching their children. Ultimately she was fine and said that it was good for her to let Montie explore. After that Montie tagged close by the boys and would wander off with them for a bit.

One of the really great things about this zoo trip was the fact that these guys moved at about the same pace as us. I never felt stressed or up-tight about having to keep up with other kids that zoomed on ahead. Since we were at a relaxed pace, we actually lasted a lot longer at the zoo than we normally do. We were there from 9:00 to 1:00. I was amazed, and felt so relaxed.

At the end I wanted to feed Enok before we drove home. We stopped at the big tree house and off the kids went. I was stuck with a baby stuck on me so couldn't shadow my kids like I normally do. Jarek wandered pretty far; I think he was testing how far he could go before I yelled for him to get closer. I never yelled for him, and I think he enjoyed not being under my thumb. Malik took off without a backward glance and made a friend right away. He was sad to leave his friend but promised to find him the next time we came to the zoo.

The boys were very worn out that afternoon and after our daily reading time I let them play some Nintendo. They wanted to go to bed early so we gave them a bath and put them to bed.

This zoo trip was so enjoyable for me. It really makes a difference going with people who move at the same pace. I didn't feel guilty for my kids being slow, or feel guilty for yelling at my kids to hurry it up. We were relaxed, happy and satisfied. I feel that hanging out with other people who have children with special needs really gives me an opportunity to share something in common. It is amazing to see the dedication and strength that other mothers have and the special, deep love that extends beyond their own child to others around them. It is amazing to have these boys in my life. They have opened up my heart and understanding to people and circumstances I may never have met/had before. God knows what he is doing, of that I am sure.

my class today

I am at the Junior High, I am subbing in the ISR class, (in school restriction). I have 2 boys today. one is here for having an IPOD and a lazer pointer in his backpack. he says it fell out. 2 days in here for that. silly. the other was suspended all last week for a fight. he is in here today to catch up on his work. he is nice. now I have a boy who just came in for 4th period because he isn't trusted in the lunch room. he is pretending he is the teacher and talking to the other boys. this is the easiest job. I love it!

Christmas

Anyone know what we are doing for Christmas? hee hee. I know it is early, but dad and I have 2 frequent flyer tickets that if we plan early enough, we can use. are we going out to UT or Phoenix, or are people coming here? or do we need to discuss it on our desert trip? I love making fun plans!

Can't Wait For This!

I haven't been tempted to go to a midnight showing since Ep III.

Take time to slow down

Life has been hectic, but we all need to remember to take time to slow down and consider what is important in life. In the end it is not money, career, toys, or fun. It is family. I am grateful we are close as a family and stay in touch - even when the blog is empty for a few days.

Jacob Webb and Millie have been here and that has been fun. Though much of our time has been spent watching basketball - we did go swimming yesterday. Yes, on March 17 we swam in our pool. It was nearly 100 degrees, so it seemed the right thing to do. The water was around 70, so not too bad. I think this is the earliest we have ever swam. Meanwhile I know mom and pops in NY were sitting in over a foot of snow. That is why I like AZ.

A few things from the last few days. Have you noticed how much my geni.com family tree has grown? Wow. Pretty cool. I've noticed Cari's family has caught on now. Cool! We watched Casino Royale last night with pretty high expectations. Tevia fell asleep and I must say it didn't meet my expectations. It didn't seem very Bond-like. I know this was supposed to be the first, etc., but I didn't need a whole movie with a thin plot to understand why Bond is a womanizer. And it was well over 2 hours! And the Bond girls weren't that hot. And this new Bond sometimes looked really buff and good - but other times he looked like an ugly old man. I think I recall Jake Wall saying he loved this, but I will pass and agree more with mom. Maybe we were expecting too much. I am pretty sure I will take last place in the March Madness tournament. I am terrible at picking. But it is always fun. Hasn't been as fun a tournament as last year, but still good. The overtime games yesterday (or was it Friday?) were great.

why is no one blogging!!!!!!???????

?????????????

special ed

I love my job! I worked in 7th grade at VanWYck Jr high yesterday, a self-contained sp ed class. the kids were just great! I love being able to actually help someone. a tall, thin Jamaican boy put his head down as soon as the math teacher started the new concept of scales, ratios, etc. I could tell he already felt overwhelmed by the long explanation. I went over to him and showed him how to set up the equation and do cross multiplying. he said that was easy, and he did a few more. he felt so good about himself. later, his class went down to help at a bake sale, and he didn't want to go. the teacher asked if I would stay with him and he could do homework. we talked the whole period! here are some of his responses: he says he is on the school Basketball team, yet, he didn't seem to know when they played or who. he loves b ball, and plans to make it to the pros. he watches college ball, so we discussed March madness, which term he never heard. he said his brother is on a college team, and when I asked the name of the college, he said he didn't know, but that is was somewhere in poughkeepsie. he told me of brothers and sisters gallore, so when I asked who he was living with now, he said his real mom was in Jamaica, and he lived with his pops, and his real dad was around in Brooklyn, and that his family was all mixed up, as he put it. he was so sweet and darling and we got to work together the next period also. I just wanted to bring him home to join the church and get him on a basketball team and help him do his homework and just give him what all you kids got. but alas, I can't change the world, and we need people like him. I told him not to get caught up in drugs, and to pass his classes. he said he would. I had another boy who limped and had a major physical facial problem, and he was so smart! then I had a boy who couldn't write, so he would scribble on his paper, and a one-on -one teacher took all his notes for him. when he had to do written class work, he used the computer. he was also so sweet. I just have a soft spot for these kids who have to work harder and over come many obstacles to just do regular school work.
another snow day today! there isn't a flake in the sky, at 8 am, but a noreaster is on its way, supposedly. :)
everything is closed.
Webbs, have fun in AZ! Hope to see you when we are in UT!

Imagini VisualDNA

Imagini VisualDNA

This was a fun little test. Try it out by clicking on the picture that matches the words on top. Mine was pretty accurate.

Essential

Okay so i havent been able to get on the computer for quite some time because well, recently my back and before that school was just nuts. so i never got the chance to blog about california. So tonight im gonna suck it up. i put a pillow beind my back and im gonna type as long as i can.

California was alot of words put into one. But the word that i think describes it the most is essential. A pretty strong word but in my opinion perfect for the job. On this trip me and jimmy delt with a lot of different things and saw eachother in a totally different light. This led to castrophe the first couple days. However, we were troopers and endured some hard things and ended up having a magnificent trip... but let me start you off from the beginning.

So i am so excited to go on my trip to cali for 2 big reasons! 1) i was going to see my boyfriend who i missed so much and 2) i was going to see california which all of you know, is a place that i have wanted to visit for like 10 years. The morning went amazing. My hair worked with me, my makeup looked good, the weather wasnt that cold, and jacob and me got to the airport on time. After giving him a goodbye hug, i even went and bought my favorite drink from star bucks, a vanilla cream which was great and a blueberry scone which i highly reccomend you guys to never get. Then, on the plane i got to sit next to a young couple with a 1 year old boy so i was in heaven. He was so cute and in the first couple minutes we became friends. Then i landed! i got my suitcase and went outside to walk across the street to the USO, a military place where military people can stay and relax while waiting to go somewhere. The weather was amazing and i had the biggest smile on my face. I was in LA! i felt so grown up and im not gonna lie, i felt pretty cool too. When i got to the USO i walked in and the people looked at me as if i was an alien from another universe. I guess its really intended strictly for military people and well it was obvious i clearly was not. But i told them that my bf had called earlier to ask if i could stay there while waiting for the bus and they immediately went from looking at me like an alien to a princess. They were SO nice. But still complication still took place. We quickly found out that Jimmy had gotten the times wrong for the busses going to Palm Springs and that the only way to get there was a greyhound bus that left at 630. It was a mess because 1) the man there told me i couldnt go on it alone and 2) even if i did go on it i still didnt have a ride to 29 palms because the military shuttle that went from there to 29 palms stopped running at 5. To make a long story short, eventually Jimmy was able to get hold of a travel lady with a husband in the military to help us out and she said that she would have her daughter and boyfriend drive down with Jimmy to pick me up. It was a long day and i was pretty mad at jimmy because i honestly thought i was homeless and thats not how you should feel when you go on a vacation alone by yourself. Anyways the bus was nuts but this angel, i dont even know her name, stayed with me the whole time and made me feel so safe. She was in her 30s i think and a mom of 6 kids, with 3 different dads. I felt so bad for her but she was actually surprisingly upbeat and sweet even though you could tell she was so lonely. Anyways i finally got to Palm Springs and met jimmy there who had pink roses, not that i cared though because i was too mad... i have a stubborn problem.

The next two days kinda went like the 1st... crazy and completely unplanned but they were essential because it lef to us having a huge and serious talk. Both of us learned things about each other and ourselves that we didnt know. I wont go into detail but we were tried with many trials and came out on top and if it werent for this trip we would still be completely unaware of important things... things we both need to work on, things that scare us both, and things that we need help with. Also church on Sunday was absolutely amazing and essential for i wanna say just jimmy but it helped me in countless ways as well because i got to see jimmys eyes light up as he watched the other boys prepare the sacrement and a tear stroll down his cheek as we took it. You could tell he felt so at home. We went to a singles branch if you didnt hear about it. It had about 10-15 kids around our age...almost all of them marines and half of them converts just like jimmy but you could tell that they truely wanted to be there and truely loved the gospel and each other. They were all so kind too especially the adults. This one couple, the Redfords, came up to us and gave us big welcome hugs and offered to have us for lunch after church. It was amazing to see how nice people are and i was so grateful that jimmy was able to see the kindness that they offered us because it was such a testimony strengthener. After church we actually did go over to the Redfords and not only did we get lunch but a ride to the airport for me on tuesday morning at 4! Talk about being generous! Later we read scriptures too and both of our tesimonies increased 10-fold. Jimmy is now reading the book of mormon everyday and loves it. I will never forget that Sunday.

So the trip turned out to be amazing and essential to keeping us alive i think because we became alot closer and became more of a team. I have to work on certain traits as does he but we are and we are helping eachother and they are things we can both change. The trip was also fun! omgsh! being in love and in california is pretty awesome! just holding hands everywhere was so nice. Especially in Joshua Tree National Park which was gorgeous just to let you know. We went to Palm springs too one night and it was also incredible. It was so pretty and like 85 degrees at like 9 at night. It was so fun to walk around with Jimmy and i felt so good because we were with this other couple (the one that picked me up from the bus station) and the guy didnt pay for the girl for dinner or when we went for jamba juice and he didnt hold the door or anything particularly sweet and jimmy did all of that and would ask me constantly if i was cold, hott, or needed anything. He really is such a sweetheart.

So maybe this trip was not essential to my well being or okay even our relationship but it was definitely a building block and i am SOOO glad i went!

Anyways just a tad bit more info... jimmy got stationed to HAWAII!! thats right! thats where he is going to be living for the next 3 years as a marine except when he gets deployed. Were actually really happy. We'll find out more information on it later but im so excited. if we get married i could just be living in Hawaii for a year of two of my life! pretty cool!

Also Bret and Tev, this is more for you... last sunday i fasted and prayed about my decision about where i should live this summer which turned out to be new york after all and got a very strong confirmation during a testimony that this one guy bore about his friends. I felt so strong that i shouldnt run from my friends but go there and be a better example than i ever have before and really show them who i am and what this religion stands for. Also i have a very strong feeling that i should be with mom this summer. I know without doubt that this is what i should do. I am so grateful though for you guys being so open about me staying there and know that it would have been a blast! I am so lucky to even have these choices. I love you guys so much and am sorry that i wont be living there.

k well thats the end =)

Fridays are bliss

There is a reason TGIF is so well known. Though I don't use that terminology as it insinuates a word that I don't typically use, I do love Fridays. Fridays for me start at 5:15AM as I get up and dressed for basketball. I drive the few miles up to our stake center and play some ball for a good hour or so. This morning was great as I made up for a terrible night on Wednesday and hit just about every shot I took. Three pointers and reverse layups were going in and made me feel great.
I then go home, shower, eat some cereal and take Jarek to school. I take him to school most days (even though we only live a few hundred yards from school - that's another blog subject!) and drop him off with an "I love you" and wink. Then I drive to work.

Work is a good 30 minutes on a normal day. Today my calendar was fairly open at work. I only had a couple of meetings. One was for a project I am on to update our website/portal for our customers. I am excited about the project as it currently is teh suck. The other was to sign off on some requirements for our CRM project.

The rest of the day I spent dealing with my emails. I got an urgent call from one of our Sr VPs this morning asking me to review some RFP details as I now appear to be the Subject Matter Expert (SME) for international. At the end of the day it is good to feel that you are so needed. It is always nice to know deep down that nobody could possibly bring as much value to my company in my role as I do. They are lucky to have me. But today I enjoyed work. Those days, unfortunately, are not as often as they used to be. I did have a good talk with my old boss and my new boss today. But the highlight of the day was a gift (swag) I received from Citibank - one of our vendor partners. I got a cool laser pointer keychain. I loved it! I felt like I was on "The Office" as I annoyed people all day by shining a red light on them or around them. I'm easy to please. I usually hate swag.

Then I drove home after a good talk with some of my employees about how Americans are lame and don't understand how good they have things. Tevia wasn't home as she is out with the boys so I made a great sandwich with avocado, ham, cheese and lettuce on my favorite white bread and ate outside to watch my birds. The hummingbirds have found my new feeder - and it appears to be living up to its name as the best feeder out there. So I thought I'd fill you in on a day in the life of BW and let you know that life is wonderful.

March Madness 2007

The best time of the year is coming up. I have sent most of you an invite (Millie - I didn't have your email in my contacts). Sign up for fun. You can invite a few people - but I'd like to keep it close to family so we can trash talk more. Kathy - feel free to invite Jimmy. The group is:

Wall & Co. (Group ID# 59313)
Password: dukesucks


Good luck to all. Go BYU!

New rule for me

So, I have decided that I am giving myself a new rule. Here is what inspired my new rule. I have been having a lot of stress lately due mostly to the fact that I have been frustrated and felt very under qualified in how best to raise, discipline and show love to Malik. He is so very, very different from Jarek in so many ways that not many of the things I have heretofore used on Jarek works well on Malik. It is not that I don't love this child, I love him so much that sometimes my heart breaks on account of getting so grumpy at him on a regular basis. So, I got to a breaking point and figured the best way to help would be to solicit advice from one much smarter than me, namely, God, and to be better at doing the things I have been slacking off on, like reading my scriptures. I know that many people of this day and age would run quickly to the nearest shrink or bookstore for all the combined wisdom of the world, but I sought a higher and more qualified person for advice.

Okay, this may seem like a total no-brainer to many of you, but here is what I have concluded for now. I realized that I was not spending very much, if any, QUALITY time with Malik. I knew I was spending time with him because, heck, we live in the same house and he drives around in the car with me and we eat breakfast and dinner together, that is a lot of time together, right???
Wrong. I know he has really been shafted on quality time since Enok was born and I just thought we was doing hunky-dory since he hadn't "reverted" back to wetting his pants, or hitting Enok, or any of the things I thought were typical behavior for a child to have when a new baby arrived. Well, it seems that Malik really needs the one on one time with me. He gets frustrated because I spend time reading to Jarek out of the books he is reading (which Malik isn't that interested in) or helping Jarek with his homework, etc... And then I spend ample time with Enok feeding him and playing with him and trying to nurture him. So little Malik keeps getting left out and is therefore acting in ways that will get my attention, albeit he does things that get my bad attention.

Okay, so what is my new rule? I am not allowed to turn the computer on until I have spent an hour with Malik in the morning. Generally this time is spent after I put Enok down for his nap, so it is truly one on one time. We read, or we will play in the playroom or whatever he wants. I get too distracted at the computer and waste a lot of time on it. I know there is a lot of time I am going to have to account for that was wasted because of this technology. Anyhow, so far this has seemed to have made somewhat of a difference. I haven't yelled at him or felt annoyed or angry at him for two whole days. I was getting to the point where I couldn't even look at him without feeling frustrated, and I know he was feeling it, and Bret could see it so easily. I am not one that can hide my feelings very well.

Anyhow, this is a good step, and I know it seems stupid that it would take so long to figure this out. I know I am still going to have to adjust my parenting style with him, and I am going to have to involve prayer a lot lot more than I have up to this point. I always pray for my children, but now I am really focusing on how I can be the best parent for him as an individual. It is hard work to be a mother. You have so much love and concern for your offspring, and when they choose paths that don't seem like they will bring the most happiness, your heart aches and you just want to force them to do what you want them to do, but you know you can't do this, so you rely on the spirit and those around you for love and support and just pray, pray, pray. I know Malik is a good kid with a good heart, he is just a lot like me, stubborn and wants things his way, so we butt heads an awful lot. I am going to have to give ground on things that aren't going to affect his eternal salvation and focus only on the things that really matter. It is hard, but it will be worth it in the end if I have faith.

Lesson for the day