Wednesday, March 15, 2006
cedar point
ok, we finally decided we are going to Cedar Point again, instead of Virginia Beach, Kathy's last summer request. we are going to go to Cleveland on August 12th or 13th, go to Cedar Point on August 14th, stay overnight, then go home on the 15th. We welcome anyone who wants to come. I am going to get in some trouble here with wives, but hey, it's worth a try to mention it. If Bret or Jacob wanted to get away for a quick weekend, you could fly to Cleveland on Sat or Sunday and have fun with us and go back on Tuesday. Flights to Cleveland are cheap and you could see grandma. I only say this knowing that Tevia won't want to go to an amusement park this summer, and Cari doesn't like them all that much, but, of course, she can come too, and we would love to have anyone come with us. And, Tevia gets to come out sometimes by herself... kind of. well, don't anyone get mad at me. you are all welcome and we will get a nice suite by the beach. if none of you come, the kids will bring friends. I will get a place for 6. oh, I just remembered I already suggested to Bret that he get away and go to UT with us in a few weeks after that. oops. I guess you can't do everything. sorry. we just love being with you all. this includes you Jacob Webb. so that is our timing. we go to UT the last weekend of August, Saturday the 26th to Sept 2nd, to get rid of Kathy....hee hee. And, Dad and I are going to Cape Cod to get away on Aug 3,4, and 5th. wow, I have a lot of fun places to go this year. how would I ever have time to work? :) Glad dad pays my way.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The sound of a heartbeat
So, today I went to my second doctors appointment, all by myself. Bret is off in Ohio and I left the boys with a friend. I really should have taken the kids with me had I remembered it was only listening to the heartbeat of the baby.
As I was laying up on the table, anxious to hear the heartbeat of a new life, I was very overwhelmed with emotion. It is so amazing to hear that tiny sound, especially when you can't even feel its presence yet. I was reassured and elated to know that indeed there is a baby in there. What a joy and what a blessing to hear the signs of life. I am so excited to add this baby to our family. I missed having Bret with me though. :( Hopefully he can make it to the ultrasound.
As I was laying up on the table, anxious to hear the heartbeat of a new life, I was very overwhelmed with emotion. It is so amazing to hear that tiny sound, especially when you can't even feel its presence yet. I was reassured and elated to know that indeed there is a baby in there. What a joy and what a blessing to hear the signs of life. I am so excited to add this baby to our family. I missed having Bret with me though. :( Hopefully he can make it to the ultrasound.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
It isn't good to be alone...
...it isn't good. So if you want someone to love you really should join hands and be together..." Or so the song goes. That is a great album, by the way. I can still remember all of those songs years after the fact. And much better than "Saturday's Warrior." I'm referring to "My Turn on Earth" for those of you not born in the Generation X or Baby Boomer period.
This weekend I am alone. Tevia is up in Show Low with the boys - snowed in! So I probably won't even get to see them until I get back from Dayton, OH (how fun!) this Wed. I am glad they got to see snow - and it was great to see rain after we all fasted last week. But it sucks being alone. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was used to it, or if I didn't like my wife and kids. But for me, it is just no fun. I actually find I am less productive - which seems odd since I have way more time. But I end up wasting my time on the computer or playing Nintendo. It's almost like I need some sort of interface so I don't feel lonely. Even something as simple as cleaning the bathroom seems horribly lonely and sad, so I avoid it. I have gone on ad nauseum in my blog about how important family is and why we need family, etc., but once again this time by myself strengthens my conviction that I need Tevia and my boys. Without them I am a lazy, no good guy just looking for trouble. So once again, I am so grateful for my wife and kids. I certainly pray for them a lot. I can't wait to see them later this week. In the meantime it does help on Sundays. I went out home teaching today and will be going to my Priesthood meeting tonight. If they were home, there is a chance I might be tempted to skip or even forget. But it sure is hard to forget when I am sitting here in silence watching the clock.
It is almost March Madness. I sent out a link for our tournament pool - so good luck. This is a fun part of the year.
This weekend I am alone. Tevia is up in Show Low with the boys - snowed in! So I probably won't even get to see them until I get back from Dayton, OH (how fun!) this Wed. I am glad they got to see snow - and it was great to see rain after we all fasted last week. But it sucks being alone. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was used to it, or if I didn't like my wife and kids. But for me, it is just no fun. I actually find I am less productive - which seems odd since I have way more time. But I end up wasting my time on the computer or playing Nintendo. It's almost like I need some sort of interface so I don't feel lonely. Even something as simple as cleaning the bathroom seems horribly lonely and sad, so I avoid it. I have gone on ad nauseum in my blog about how important family is and why we need family, etc., but once again this time by myself strengthens my conviction that I need Tevia and my boys. Without them I am a lazy, no good guy just looking for trouble. So once again, I am so grateful for my wife and kids. I certainly pray for them a lot. I can't wait to see them later this week. In the meantime it does help on Sundays. I went out home teaching today and will be going to my Priesthood meeting tonight. If they were home, there is a chance I might be tempted to skip or even forget. But it sure is hard to forget when I am sitting here in silence watching the clock.
It is almost March Madness. I sent out a link for our tournament pool - so good luck. This is a fun part of the year.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
How to buy a car in 2 hours
For the past few years we have discussed purchasing a minivan. I'm not too opposed to minivans, but Tevia was eager to avoid the inevitable for as long as possible. We had decided a few months ago that this Spring was the time to purchase a van; and the prospect of another child made the decision even more urgent.
So we have been studying the different minivans available, both used and new. After a few weeks of studying and having received our money from both the government and Prudential, we decided to get a babysitter today (Risa) and go looking. We had decided to start with the new vans and see what the bottomline cost would be - and if too much we would go down to a used. We have never purchased a new car before, so this was a little exciting, but we have been to dealers before and we dreaded that part.
We narrowed it down to three vans: Honda Odyssey, Chrysler Town and Country, and the Kia Sedona. The Honda obviously has a great name and reputation, but it is the most expensive. The Chrysler has a history of a great drive (along with repair issues). The Kia was redesigned in 2006 with many safety features and looking to really compete with the Hondas and Toyotas at substanitally less cost.
I think Tevia went into the day thinking we would purchase a Honda. I went in after looking at dozens of reviews and comparisons thinking we would get a Kia. In the end I was right. We actually went to the Kia dealer first and really liked the Sedona. I liked the new styling (better than the last model); but I was really impressed with the safety features. Knowing my wife and kids (most prized posessions) would be in this vehicle most of the time, the airbags in the front and side (even in the back) along with the fantastic crash test results really had put it in the lead in my mind. Honda also has these, but with a substantially higher price. I also liked the long warranty (5 year/60K basic warranty including roadside assistance and 10 year/100K limited warranty on the drivetrain, etc.). We test drove it and Tevia liked it. The only thing we didn't like was the back seat was a little low to the ground - but this is now typcial with the vans that you can fold the back seat into the floor.
So we went in with Sal our salesperson and went over the numbers. In the end I believe we spent a little more than we had anticipated, but with the warranty I believe the additional money would be similar to repairs we might have on a used van - so we went with it. We were only there for a little over 2 hours and drove away with our new silver Kia Sedona LX. Risa and the kids loved it, too. Jarek is now able to buckle himself all on his own due to the extra room and Malik can even unbuckle himself now. This will be a huge help to Tevia as she taxis the boys and baby around). The tinted windows and A/C divided into 3 areas will also keep them cool in the hot Phoenix sun. It was the base model, but we are a simple family - no need for wood grain, Bose speakers, or navigation systems here.
So we are excited to have our first new car. The experience wasn't even all that bad. The strange thing was looking around and seeing all of the people around us also purchasing cars and wondering how in the world they could afford it. My guess is they probably couldn't, but were doing it anyway.
Now we just need to name the car. Slave 1 is taken by the house - so we'll have to figure something else out. Maybe the X-wing? :-)
So we have been studying the different minivans available, both used and new. After a few weeks of studying and having received our money from both the government and Prudential, we decided to get a babysitter today (Risa) and go looking. We had decided to start with the new vans and see what the bottomline cost would be - and if too much we would go down to a used. We have never purchased a new car before, so this was a little exciting, but we have been to dealers before and we dreaded that part.
We narrowed it down to three vans: Honda Odyssey, Chrysler Town and Country, and the Kia Sedona. The Honda obviously has a great name and reputation, but it is the most expensive. The Chrysler has a history of a great drive (along with repair issues). The Kia was redesigned in 2006 with many safety features and looking to really compete with the Hondas and Toyotas at substanitally less cost.
I think Tevia went into the day thinking we would purchase a Honda. I went in after looking at dozens of reviews and comparisons thinking we would get a Kia. In the end I was right. We actually went to the Kia dealer first and really liked the Sedona. I liked the new styling (better than the last model); but I was really impressed with the safety features. Knowing my wife and kids (most prized posessions) would be in this vehicle most of the time, the airbags in the front and side (even in the back) along with the fantastic crash test results really had put it in the lead in my mind. Honda also has these, but with a substantially higher price. I also liked the long warranty (5 year/60K basic warranty including roadside assistance and 10 year/100K limited warranty on the drivetrain, etc.). We test drove it and Tevia liked it. The only thing we didn't like was the back seat was a little low to the ground - but this is now typcial with the vans that you can fold the back seat into the floor.
So we went in with Sal our salesperson and went over the numbers. In the end I believe we spent a little more than we had anticipated, but with the warranty I believe the additional money would be similar to repairs we might have on a used van - so we went with it. We were only there for a little over 2 hours and drove away with our new silver Kia Sedona LX. Risa and the kids loved it, too. Jarek is now able to buckle himself all on his own due to the extra room and Malik can even unbuckle himself now. This will be a huge help to Tevia as she taxis the boys and baby around). The tinted windows and A/C divided into 3 areas will also keep them cool in the hot Phoenix sun. It was the base model, but we are a simple family - no need for wood grain, Bose speakers, or navigation systems here.
So we are excited to have our first new car. The experience wasn't even all that bad. The strange thing was looking around and seeing all of the people around us also purchasing cars and wondering how in the world they could afford it. My guess is they probably couldn't, but were doing it anyway.
Now we just need to name the car. Slave 1 is taken by the house - so we'll have to figure something else out. Maybe the X-wing? :-)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
thanksgiving
We are excited to say we are going to AZ for thanksgiving! we are sorry we messed up Jake and Cari' s plans. Jacob, don't feel pressured to go too. dad said he told you I'd be mad if you didn't go to AZ. You know me better than that. do what you guys want to do. if you don't go, Kathy can go down with Jacob Webb or we can fly her down. we want to see that little baby, warm up, play tennis, and be with our dear Bret for once on a Thanksgiving! The details: we arrive the Tuesday before, and leave on the Sunday after. we don't even care if we get turkey! or, I can cook and give Tevs a break. or better yet, I can hold the baby and give Tevs a break!!!! love being with you all!
fake snow day
Well, it's real snow, but the kids and I figured all the schools would close cause by the time they left for seminary Arlington, Spackenkill, and everything but Wappingers had closed, due to a storm supposed to start at 10am and dump a fluffy 8" on us. but no, Wapp decided to hold out and see if it would really come at 10, so they opted for an early dismisal. well, I let the kids stay home after they came back from seminary, knowing they would only have 3 classes and one of them was gym. Traci cut too, and she is here. then I went to walmart and loaded up on canned goods and stuff for food storage cause I was running low. by the time I left walmart at 9:30, it was coming down fast and strong. wapp is going to be in trouble. they are dismissing the high schools at 10, and then they have to use the same busses to do the jr high, then the grade schools won't even get out till noon. it is 11 now, and we have 2". the roads are awful, I got behind a bus on new hackensack, and it was slipping around and going so slow, and the kids getting off were slipping also. I have to say- my care did great! I got 4 new tires last week cause of the last time I had to drive in the snow and was all over the road. dad said they were ok, but the guys at Toyota said the tires was the reason why I was slipping, and they were right! I had no trouble at all as long as I was careful. sometimes spending the money, no, always spending the money for safety is worth it.
chocolate chip cookie and hot chocolate day, cleaning out book shelves, and fun fun fun! wish you were here Tevia!
chocolate chip cookie and hot chocolate day, cleaning out book shelves, and fun fun fun! wish you were here Tevia!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
The Unimaginable
The unimaginable.
There are some things in life you never plan on having to go through, and quite frankly could never prepare yourself for. We all know life is an endless round of starts and ends and usually, if you search it out, where one door closes you can find another has opened. Is it possible to find an equilibrium in life between these ups and downs, are we even meant to?
There are few, if any, joys in life greater than the birth of a newborn baby. They come to earth so small, so innocent, so perfect. Each one is a precious gift from God. I have yet to experience this joy in my life personally so I am writing about something I know only second hand. From welcoming in younger siblings, cousins, and nephews to the most recent, the birth of Hayden Emilio Knudsen. Hayden is the first born child to my dear friend and former mission companion Tyson Knudsen and his dear wife Jenny.
I can't think of any other young lady who has been more excited or more ready to be a mommy.
It is futile to ask the question "Why," but on Monday morning, February 27th, at about 7 am, less than 72 hours after giving birth and meeting her baby for the first time in this life, Jenny passed away. Every possible thing was done to save her, but sometimes even all the advances of modern science can't compete with the will of God and a tiny blood clot.
One door closes, one door opens. A new birth, a passing on.
I simply sit here wondering how to comfort my friend.
After spending the day with him and his new little baby I realized all I can do is be there! How grateful I am that I was able to! It seems as though I have been in need of learning this important lesson lately... the lesson of gratitude. I really do have so much to be grateful for. I have a great job that pays well and comes with a number of benefits and perks. One of the greatest perks is the flexibility my supervisor gives me. Just the fact that I have been able to up and leave (or not go in at all) with very little (and sometimes no) notice. I also have family and friends who are always there to comfort me when I hurt for friends of mine they've never even met.
The thing that is truly unimaginable is how someone can doubt the existence of God, that He is our father, and that He knows and loves each of us personally. I am so grateful for all the people He has put in my life. For those that lift me up, and those that are there for me to lift up. It's no wonder one of the first things God asks of his children is to "morn with those that morn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort," because it is in those times that we are able to grow and become more like Him.
There are some things in life you never plan on having to go through, and quite frankly could never prepare yourself for. We all know life is an endless round of starts and ends and usually, if you search it out, where one door closes you can find another has opened. Is it possible to find an equilibrium in life between these ups and downs, are we even meant to?
There are few, if any, joys in life greater than the birth of a newborn baby. They come to earth so small, so innocent, so perfect. Each one is a precious gift from God. I have yet to experience this joy in my life personally so I am writing about something I know only second hand. From welcoming in younger siblings, cousins, and nephews to the most recent, the birth of Hayden Emilio Knudsen. Hayden is the first born child to my dear friend and former mission companion Tyson Knudsen and his dear wife Jenny.
I can't think of any other young lady who has been more excited or more ready to be a mommy.
It is futile to ask the question "Why," but on Monday morning, February 27th, at about 7 am, less than 72 hours after giving birth and meeting her baby for the first time in this life, Jenny passed away. Every possible thing was done to save her, but sometimes even all the advances of modern science can't compete with the will of God and a tiny blood clot.
One door closes, one door opens. A new birth, a passing on.
I simply sit here wondering how to comfort my friend.
After spending the day with him and his new little baby I realized all I can do is be there! How grateful I am that I was able to! It seems as though I have been in need of learning this important lesson lately... the lesson of gratitude. I really do have so much to be grateful for. I have a great job that pays well and comes with a number of benefits and perks. One of the greatest perks is the flexibility my supervisor gives me. Just the fact that I have been able to up and leave (or not go in at all) with very little (and sometimes no) notice. I also have family and friends who are always there to comfort me when I hurt for friends of mine they've never even met.
The thing that is truly unimaginable is how someone can doubt the existence of God, that He is our father, and that He knows and loves each of us personally. I am so grateful for all the people He has put in my life. For those that lift me up, and those that are there for me to lift up. It's no wonder one of the first things God asks of his children is to "morn with those that morn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort," because it is in those times that we are able to grow and become more like Him.
Happy Birthday to Tevia!!
Hope you have a special day, with no throwing up, sick kids, and a nice lunch with your friends. and a buena fiesta! well, not many people get to party on Tuesdays. I will call you today. we all send our love! We are always so glad Bret married you and brought you in to our family. You add a lot to it, and we love to be with you. You are a great mother, and your boys show it by their behavior. You are also beautiful, and the extra weight of a child within will not take away from your beauty and radiance. As for the getting older part, it is actually wonderful! I think I am more at peace and happier every year, and I am really old! "The more sand that has escaped the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should be able to see through it." Jean Paul
I still find I have so many things I love to do, want to do, and want to accomplish, but I think they say knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness. With you, all thins are possible! have a wonderful year of life! love, mom
I still find I have so many things I love to do, want to do, and want to accomplish, but I think they say knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness. With you, all thins are possible! have a wonderful year of life! love, mom
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The Good with the Bad
Last week was a tough week. I already posted about it, but with the bad week at work along with Malik in the hospital, Tevia's father in the hospital, my brother coughing up blood, and some other things, it is hard to imagine a more stressful week. Fortunately I am blessed with a calm demeanor and I know that I am blessed and so do not blame God for any of these things and thank Him for things not being worse. I have often heard that if you have something really good happen, then something bad will probably happen soon (i.e. get called to a mission and all of the sudden the girl you have liked for years has the hots for you) and vice versa. I'm not sure that I have seen a pattern of this, but certainly this week was a vast improvement.
This week a couple of things happened. First we did our taxes. I did them on turbotax.com as a friend of ours had noted you can do it online and then decide at the end if you want to pay for the services. This seems like a genius marketing strategy as most people will do the work and see the tax refund (hopefully!) and easilly agree to pay the $20 to file online with no paperwork, etc. I have been very curious over the past few years to try this out as we do our taxes on our own and who knows what hidden loopholes we are missing. Well, apparently a few. After going through the very easy-to-use program online we only had one area of concern or question. We had sold a few of our stock options last year and this ended up being a little more complicated than expected (and I had expected some complications). But after researching for a while we determined the way it needs to be done for the IRS (which of course is completely illogical, but...). In the end the neat little box they have in the corner of the screen which constantly changes showing the amount of your tax return with each number you input showed substantially more than we had expected. Dramatically more! It was so surprising that I almost didn't believe it or dare use the program. But in the end we paid the $20 and sent it off to the IRS without having to sign anything or send anything in. Theoretically we get the refund in around 10 business days. It was a fantastic surprise. Then we did our state taxes the same way and had a very similar experience. Last year for taxes we got back $28. This year it was in the hundreds. So, needless to say I am a big turbotax fan and we are happilly awaiting some good money.
This week was also my review. This is the time I learn of my performance and what my bonus and salary increase will be. Last year Prudential provided me with a bonus that was VERY generous (they wanted me to stick around) so I had expectations that my bonus would be less this year. Surprise again! Though not substantially more, it was more - thanks to a great performance year. So we will be getting quite a bit more cash this Spring than expected. It is amazing how blessed we have been. I have been thanking God all week. Now the hard part is deciding what to do with the money - a big portion going for a minivan to fit the Wall clan (we will have 5 of us this Fall). I finished the reviews of my employees - feeling guilty every time I went over their bonuses and raises knowing what mine was. But I am only given so much, so I have little control over what I get compared to what I give. My employees are fantastic. I enjoy being with each and every one of them, which makes my job much easier. Risa, who is not on my team, has been doing well also. My team really likes her - and she has suggested to me that she wishes she was on my team as it is the best! :-)
So, though I certainly would not want to go through a week like two weeks ago again, to be followed by a week like this was a blessing. Certainly money isn't everything, and I don't want to sound like that is the greatest thing in the world. It is not. Money is not my goal in life. But having extra money is nice - and it will be spent or used wisely. My votes are for the minivan (Chrysler Town and Country), a patio set for our deck (found one at Target I LOVE), and a mountain bike for me. The rest, if any, can go to my beautiful wife for her heart's desire and savings. These two weeks reminded me of a quote I have on my desk (which since I am not at work, I'm not sure of the person who said it) that goes something like: for people who feel, life is a tragedy; for people who think, life is a comedy. I like the quote, but I would add "for people who know God's Truth, life is a blessing."
This week a couple of things happened. First we did our taxes. I did them on turbotax.com as a friend of ours had noted you can do it online and then decide at the end if you want to pay for the services. This seems like a genius marketing strategy as most people will do the work and see the tax refund (hopefully!) and easilly agree to pay the $20 to file online with no paperwork, etc. I have been very curious over the past few years to try this out as we do our taxes on our own and who knows what hidden loopholes we are missing. Well, apparently a few. After going through the very easy-to-use program online we only had one area of concern or question. We had sold a few of our stock options last year and this ended up being a little more complicated than expected (and I had expected some complications). But after researching for a while we determined the way it needs to be done for the IRS (which of course is completely illogical, but...). In the end the neat little box they have in the corner of the screen which constantly changes showing the amount of your tax return with each number you input showed substantially more than we had expected. Dramatically more! It was so surprising that I almost didn't believe it or dare use the program. But in the end we paid the $20 and sent it off to the IRS without having to sign anything or send anything in. Theoretically we get the refund in around 10 business days. It was a fantastic surprise. Then we did our state taxes the same way and had a very similar experience. Last year for taxes we got back $28. This year it was in the hundreds. So, needless to say I am a big turbotax fan and we are happilly awaiting some good money.
This week was also my review. This is the time I learn of my performance and what my bonus and salary increase will be. Last year Prudential provided me with a bonus that was VERY generous (they wanted me to stick around) so I had expectations that my bonus would be less this year. Surprise again! Though not substantially more, it was more - thanks to a great performance year. So we will be getting quite a bit more cash this Spring than expected. It is amazing how blessed we have been. I have been thanking God all week. Now the hard part is deciding what to do with the money - a big portion going for a minivan to fit the Wall clan (we will have 5 of us this Fall). I finished the reviews of my employees - feeling guilty every time I went over their bonuses and raises knowing what mine was. But I am only given so much, so I have little control over what I get compared to what I give. My employees are fantastic. I enjoy being with each and every one of them, which makes my job much easier. Risa, who is not on my team, has been doing well also. My team really likes her - and she has suggested to me that she wishes she was on my team as it is the best! :-)
So, though I certainly would not want to go through a week like two weeks ago again, to be followed by a week like this was a blessing. Certainly money isn't everything, and I don't want to sound like that is the greatest thing in the world. It is not. Money is not my goal in life. But having extra money is nice - and it will be spent or used wisely. My votes are for the minivan (Chrysler Town and Country), a patio set for our deck (found one at Target I LOVE), and a mountain bike for me. The rest, if any, can go to my beautiful wife for her heart's desire and savings. These two weeks reminded me of a quote I have on my desk (which since I am not at work, I'm not sure of the person who said it) that goes something like: for people who feel, life is a tragedy; for people who think, life is a comedy. I like the quote, but I would add "for people who know God's Truth, life is a blessing."
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Happy Birthday to Malik!
HI sweetie, we will call you later. we hope you like our present. we love you and miss you! grandma wall, grandpa wall, and Tom and Kathy
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Patriarchal blessing
Kathy gets her blessing this sunday from Bishop Edmonds. any advice, ideas, etc, from older brothers and sisters is welcome as she prepares, and prayers are also accepted.
ps- Tom passed his Eagle board of review last night, so we will be planning an eagle court! thanks to two great older brothers who led and still lead him along. I thank you!
ps- Tom passed his Eagle board of review last night, so we will be planning an eagle court! thanks to two great older brothers who led and still lead him along. I thank you!
answers to prayers
I was supposed to go to the temple today, but Kathy has been feeling 'weird' for 2 1/2 days now, hot, cold, tired, tingly, shakey, and no other symptoms. because these symptoms are so close to blood sugar problems, I have been worried, probably more than I need to, but Tevia will understand the worrying of a mother when their kids are sick. so this morning I prayed that I will know what Kathy has, and when I called Kris Pretyman to tell her I couldn't go to the temple, she said it is the same exact thing that is going around the second ward, and Nicole Brown had it all week, and they took her to the doc, and it is simply an inflenza. yeah! there are 2 that hit the schools this week, one is stomach related, the other is this one. I guess it is funny that I am so glad Kathy has the flu! so I will babysit for her at her job today so she doesn't spread it to the little kids at daycare. I am thankful for the peace of mind the Lord gave me today!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Jumping the hurdles
I just got back from a small campus career fair. I talked to two people and left resumes with both of them. And I am so, so incredibly relieved that it is over with.
I found out about the career fair yesterday from my friend Andrew who is always insisting that I need to get a job. I was supposed to go earlier in the day, but I chose to sleep in instead. That's how much I didn't want to go. But I promised my friend I would go, so after class, off I went. I did make him come with me for moral support. I talked to a couple of software development and testing firms, both pretty small, that are here in Utah County.
I know this sounds pretty boring and like a commentary on what did Carolyn do today between the hours of 2:00 pm and 3:00 pm, but....that fact that I did this is a big milestone for me. I'm not really all that excited about getting a "real" job after I graduate. Ok, so it's something that I've been avoiding all of my life. I don't know if it's laziness or fear or conditioning or all that and more, but I've just never, ever wanted to get to this point. I don't really know what I was planning on doing instead (perhaps I should have married an independantly wealthy man...), but I somehow thought I could get away with not going through the looking and hiring process. Obviously, I kinda have to now, but I've been dragging my feet about it big time. Jacob and I have had lots of talks in the last couple of months about how I need to start looking and get my resume out there, but until today, I honestly have done anything about it but talk. Finally, I have two good job leads and at least two copies of my resume in someone's hands. ::pats herself on the back::
In summary, I guess I'm just glad to be over this first hurdle, grateful for my husband encouraging me to start this process, and grateful for my friends for continuing to bug me about doing something to find a job. And I just wanted to share that with the whole group. :-)
I found out about the career fair yesterday from my friend Andrew who is always insisting that I need to get a job. I was supposed to go earlier in the day, but I chose to sleep in instead. That's how much I didn't want to go. But I promised my friend I would go, so after class, off I went. I did make him come with me for moral support. I talked to a couple of software development and testing firms, both pretty small, that are here in Utah County.
I know this sounds pretty boring and like a commentary on what did Carolyn do today between the hours of 2:00 pm and 3:00 pm, but....that fact that I did this is a big milestone for me. I'm not really all that excited about getting a "real" job after I graduate. Ok, so it's something that I've been avoiding all of my life. I don't know if it's laziness or fear or conditioning or all that and more, but I've just never, ever wanted to get to this point. I don't really know what I was planning on doing instead (perhaps I should have married an independantly wealthy man...), but I somehow thought I could get away with not going through the looking and hiring process. Obviously, I kinda have to now, but I've been dragging my feet about it big time. Jacob and I have had lots of talks in the last couple of months about how I need to start looking and get my resume out there, but until today, I honestly have done anything about it but talk. Finally, I have two good job leads and at least two copies of my resume in someone's hands. ::pats herself on the back::
In summary, I guess I'm just glad to be over this first hurdle, grateful for my husband encouraging me to start this process, and grateful for my friends for continuing to bug me about doing something to find a job. And I just wanted to share that with the whole group. :-)
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
New Week
Well, a new week, a new start. So far so good! We got both kids off to school as they were both healthy enough to go today. Malik still has a cough and Jarek has a small lingering one every now and then. It was hard for them to wake up since they stayed up till 9:00 last night. My bad really. We were trying to do taxes and forgot about the kids for a bit.
I got 30 min of cardio and some stretching in. And Bret made it to work safely. So far, so good!
Here is hoping for a great week to all. I feel ready to finally clean my house and get a good productive week in. I hope that my kids feel the same and decide to stay healthy for an entire week!!!!! :)
P.S. Thank you all so much for the prayers and nice notes while we were having a tough week. It really means a lot to us to know that we have so many people that love and care about us. You are all the best!
I got 30 min of cardio and some stretching in. And Bret made it to work safely. So far, so good!
Here is hoping for a great week to all. I feel ready to finally clean my house and get a good productive week in. I hope that my kids feel the same and decide to stay healthy for an entire week!!!!! :)
P.S. Thank you all so much for the prayers and nice notes while we were having a tough week. It really means a lot to us to know that we have so many people that love and care about us. You are all the best!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Stress at work...
I decided Bret and Dad might find the negative emails I get every week entertaining. I try not to let them get me down. In reality, I am the best CS142 TA to date and have more job security then Bill Gates. Further my job is temporary and not super important. But I do try, and I feel I have really made a difference. For you pleasure, here is last weeks best email...
Jacob -
I received the following from a student. I assume you'll want to attend
to it.
"I do not want to complain too much but I am very disappointed in the
TAs this semester. Also, please don't share my name with any of the TAs
regarding this email because I don't want them to hate me and not help
me for the rest of the semester. First of all, I am a quick learner I
think, but these concepts are brand new to me. I have never programmed
but I think that I am picking it up rather fast and, honestly, I quite
enjoy it. I especially enjoy your teaching style. But because of my
newness I still need a little help in the actual application of what I
learn. Jave is a very precise language, as you know, so I sometimes have
syntactical questions. I always try to solve problems on my own before I
go to the TAs, but sometimes I need there help before I can move on.
Today, Thursday, I was in the lab all morning working on Lab 3.
Everytime I would press the button on my screen for TA help, it would
take them 5, 10, and even 15 minutes sometimes to come and help me. Now,
they were not extremely busy helping other students. They just seemed to
be typing away on their own computers doing who knows what. Sometimes,
after waiting for so long, I would speak up and ask them to come help me
and then they would. Well, towards the end of my time in the lab, there
were about 5 TAs in there chatting away making it hard to concentrate. I
must say that I am not well pleased with the head TA Jacob because he
was the loudest and rudest of them all. Not only was he constantly
talking from the moment he entered, but he was referring to us students
as "kids" right in front of us and he was also gossiping about every
weakness and shortcoming of a TA who was fired recently. Well, all of
this made it very difficult to concentrate on my work and it was also
distracting the other TAs from helping me. Well, I could go on about
other things like the weak help session by David on Tuesday, but I won't
waste any more of your time. Natalie and Robbie have been very helpful
to me but they all tend to get distracted by whatever they are working
on and forget to check if anyone needs help. Have a great night and I
will see you at class tomorrow. Thanks for your help and time."
So, work is work! Im just so grateful I get to come home to a loving
wife who really could care less what happened at work and always
reasurers me everything will be alright.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Poor little Malik
Malik is on his way to the hospital with pneumonia. please pray for him. and for Tevs. Tev, I am sure he will be fine. I am glad you took him in. they will treat him and he will be good as new.
here's a cup of tea for Tevia
A Cup of Tea:
Nellie made a cup of tea,
Made and poured it out for me
And above the steaming brew
Smiled and asked, “One lump or two?”
Saucily she tossed her head;
“Make it sweet for me,” I said.
Two sweet lumps of sugar fell
Into that small china well,
But I knew the while I drained
every drop the cup contained,
more than sugar in the tea
made the beverage sweet for me.
This to her I tried to say
in that golden yesterday –
Life is like a cup of tea
Which time poureth endlessly
Brewed by trial’s constant heat
Needing love to make it sweet.
Then I caught her looking up,
And I held my dainty cup
out to her and bravely said,
“Here is all that lies ahead,
Here is all my life to be –
Will you make it sweet for me?”
Author unknown
( I would have ended it with a statement and not a question –
I will make it sweet for thee. )
Kite Runner
Like when I read the Good Earth the first time, I did not know the history of the countries in this book. I was surprised at how little I know about Afghanistan. I did not remember why Russia took it over, why the Taliban took it over, and when and why any of it happened. It was eye-opening to me. having known a few people from there, it made more sense to me why they acted like they do. it was a deep book, not exactly a fun read, but I, for some reason, couldn't put it down. Dad stopped reading it after the second chapter. I found it upsetting and yet, I was convinced I had to know more and read on. Parts of it were too predicatable, and parts were a bit boring. I skim read a lot, so I skip parts like that. I read it in a week, and I have to rate it for our book club, even though I can't make it this month. Out of 10, I would give it a 6.5. People like me should read it, for the experience, and for the more depth of the people and the country. It's theme, forgiveness, can be therapuetic (sp) to one who may have past secrets. Not that I do. :)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Not a good week
I have been fortunate in my working career to not have many "bad" weeks. And by bad weeks I mean weeks where you wish you could just disappear - kinda like those Southwest Airlines commercials - "wanna get away?" This has been one of those weeks. It started on Monday. We currently have a client - Unisys - which recently went to RFP (Request For Proposal), which for those of you in non-business backgrounds means they are looking at other possible vendors for services. In essence it means that our contract with Unisys ended and they are looking at other companies, but including Prudential, to continue their services. So there is a chance we could retain their business and there is a chance we could lose it to a competitor. When a client is in RPF mode, everything is scrutinized and escalated. Fortunately for me, our team has been a favorite for Unisys and has had little complaints. Until this week.
It started with a simple report that we passed to Unisys reconciling some data. Upon reconciliation, Unisys questioned why 3 people were not on the report. I immediately looked at our report we provide each month, and sure enough these three people were missing. Our International Assignment Managers (IAMs) had forgotten to put them on the report. In essence this means our reports had been inaccurate for the past 7 months. Of course, the client noticed this too. A disturbing note was sent to me with the word "disappointed" appearing many times in many forms. This note made its way up to senior management, and suddenly the crown jewel of the Unisys account was weakened. I received many calls reminding me of the "importance" of this and how this does not make Prudential look good - especially right on the eve of a decision coming. I didn't need these reminders - but I accepted them and apologized to many people with my tail between my legs.
Obviously, this was not my fault - as I am not the one putting the report together - but I took/take full accountability as it is my team and they should have gotten it right. Any other time it would have been seen as a "simple mistake." At this time it is seen as "a possible deal breaker." So Monday was bad. I came home upset, sad, and disappointed. Luckilly, this is the first time really anything like this has happened on my team - which for 6 years is a pretty good run. Luck had been on my side. It had finally left.
Then came today. On my way home from work I get a call from the Unisys client contact. I knew it could not possibly be bad news. She goes on to tell me that she had asked one of my employees for a document that should have been completed only to hear that it had never been done. The employee had unfortunately not been completing a certain step in the process for the past year. Unisys asked us to do an audit of all files with a report out next week. I have a nagging feeling that this will not turn out well. This has built up to be the ideal situation to place myself and my team as the perfect scapegoat should we lose the client. The ironic thing being that when we entered the RFP the client had noted that they wished everything ran as well as on Bret's team.
Who knows what will happen. In the end, even these two issues really aren't big enough to have us lose the account, but others in the company will have an easy target to pin blame. It isn't that I am afraid to lose my job or anything, that certainly is not even a remote possibility. But it is hard to suck it up and take blame. I could easilly blame this on the employee and wipe my hands clean, but that would not be fair. I should have known more; been more involved. I trusted that things were being done and they were not. It was just a harsh lesson to learn at a harsh time. The hardest thing is knowing that for the first time senior management "may" see a weakness in me. I have been so blessed to have a charmed career. Things always run smooth on my team. I haven't even had a write-off in 6 years - something that is common on a monthly basis on other teams. It was just a bad time to have a weakness exposed.
So others may find out that I am not perfect. I already know I am not, but it is humbling to be exposed. Best case scenario is we will retain Unisys as a client and in a year from now nobody will even remember this happened. Worst case scenario is we will lose Unisys and the international team will be the scapegoat. This has been a great example of how we all make mistakes. My employees made a mistake and the timing may be critical. It is a lot like life. We can go through life and be good, and then for a short period of time let down our guard. It is a risk to take, because things might happen and it could become a perfect storm. We could find ourselves before God saying, "but it only happened once!" or "it's not fair." We never know our time, or the time God will return. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, God also judges our desires. In the business world, they aren't quite so merciful.
It started with a simple report that we passed to Unisys reconciling some data. Upon reconciliation, Unisys questioned why 3 people were not on the report. I immediately looked at our report we provide each month, and sure enough these three people were missing. Our International Assignment Managers (IAMs) had forgotten to put them on the report. In essence this means our reports had been inaccurate for the past 7 months. Of course, the client noticed this too. A disturbing note was sent to me with the word "disappointed" appearing many times in many forms. This note made its way up to senior management, and suddenly the crown jewel of the Unisys account was weakened. I received many calls reminding me of the "importance" of this and how this does not make Prudential look good - especially right on the eve of a decision coming. I didn't need these reminders - but I accepted them and apologized to many people with my tail between my legs.
Obviously, this was not my fault - as I am not the one putting the report together - but I took/take full accountability as it is my team and they should have gotten it right. Any other time it would have been seen as a "simple mistake." At this time it is seen as "a possible deal breaker." So Monday was bad. I came home upset, sad, and disappointed. Luckilly, this is the first time really anything like this has happened on my team - which for 6 years is a pretty good run. Luck had been on my side. It had finally left.
Then came today. On my way home from work I get a call from the Unisys client contact. I knew it could not possibly be bad news. She goes on to tell me that she had asked one of my employees for a document that should have been completed only to hear that it had never been done. The employee had unfortunately not been completing a certain step in the process for the past year. Unisys asked us to do an audit of all files with a report out next week. I have a nagging feeling that this will not turn out well. This has built up to be the ideal situation to place myself and my team as the perfect scapegoat should we lose the client. The ironic thing being that when we entered the RFP the client had noted that they wished everything ran as well as on Bret's team.
Who knows what will happen. In the end, even these two issues really aren't big enough to have us lose the account, but others in the company will have an easy target to pin blame. It isn't that I am afraid to lose my job or anything, that certainly is not even a remote possibility. But it is hard to suck it up and take blame. I could easilly blame this on the employee and wipe my hands clean, but that would not be fair. I should have known more; been more involved. I trusted that things were being done and they were not. It was just a harsh lesson to learn at a harsh time. The hardest thing is knowing that for the first time senior management "may" see a weakness in me. I have been so blessed to have a charmed career. Things always run smooth on my team. I haven't even had a write-off in 6 years - something that is common on a monthly basis on other teams. It was just a bad time to have a weakness exposed.
So others may find out that I am not perfect. I already know I am not, but it is humbling to be exposed. Best case scenario is we will retain Unisys as a client and in a year from now nobody will even remember this happened. Worst case scenario is we will lose Unisys and the international team will be the scapegoat. This has been a great example of how we all make mistakes. My employees made a mistake and the timing may be critical. It is a lot like life. We can go through life and be good, and then for a short period of time let down our guard. It is a risk to take, because things might happen and it could become a perfect storm. We could find ourselves before God saying, "but it only happened once!" or "it's not fair." We never know our time, or the time God will return. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, God also judges our desires. In the business world, they aren't quite so merciful.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Window to the soul
I know. I didn't need to be told it again. It is something I've heard on numerous occasions... my eyes are very expressive.... maybe too expressive. It makes for hiding my emotions/feelings a difficult (near impossible) task. So, how does one go about fixing that... or is it even something that should be "fixed". Maybe there are times when it would be best for me, as well as those around me, if I could hide my eyes, or more importantly, what they show. After all, I think most people enjoy the games of the unknown much more than up front honesty. If someone knows what you're actually thinking or feeling, it scares them. Why is it that people find comfort in uncertainty? Or is it that they are so accustom to lies that they take truth for deceit and so any sign of something good (by process of playing the "opposite game") must be bad.
So what's this all about? What else? I can't help but think that my inability to obtain and sustain a stable relationship is becuase girls like the games... I don't. And although I've tried to fake playing "hard to get" my eyes give me away. Curse these windows to my soul!! The sad thing is, I can't help but think that even though there have been those that like what they've seen in my eyes, they run simply because the uncertainty is not there. I don't understand people... I think I'll just get myself a cat.
So what's this all about? What else? I can't help but think that my inability to obtain and sustain a stable relationship is becuase girls like the games... I don't. And although I've tried to fake playing "hard to get" my eyes give me away. Curse these windows to my soul!! The sad thing is, I can't help but think that even though there have been those that like what they've seen in my eyes, they run simply because the uncertainty is not there. I don't understand people... I think I'll just get myself a cat.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
bret and yoda
Kudos to Bret for having the courage to go over to the dog owner's house. that takes a lot of courage, like Yoda going to visit that evilest guy in the universe type of courage. too bad they didn't answer the door. getting all pumped up emotionally to do something like that is hard, and builds all this adrenaline inside. try again. no offense to you Tev, the broom thing took courage too! love to you all, mom
Friday, February 03, 2006
Home
So, remember the roommate drama I was having a while back?...well... there hasn't been any problems since... in fact, we've all been quiet nice to each other and more than civil. Home has been a good place to come home to... HOWEVER... I forgot that in my frustration I put my contract up for sale... not thinking our more than worthless management would ever sell it... well... they did.
Monday morning I got a call from managment saying they have a kid who wants to buy my contract, and can I be moved out by tomorrow.
Uh... yeah. I guess.
I have no place to live at the moment. Good thing I don't own much, and now even less as I have thrown out even more with this move. My big leather couch will be going to Jacob and Cari as soon as I get my bosses truck (probably this Saturday now). I left my TV and electronics with a friend down the hall from my old place, and as for everything else, well... I'm sleeping on the basement floor of a lady I work with.
I think it's time I own.
I'm VERY greatful to be working in the company I do work in... I have experienced (and more importantly honest and trustworthy) lenders and real estate agents at my disposal. I'm not going to buy a new condo or townhome from my company as they are both too expensive and too far away from Provo/Orem.
I met with our prefered lender this morning and he checked my credit report and ran some numbers. He says it looks like I could get about $95K at 5.18% with $0 down at about $550 - $700/ month payments depending on the HOA and other variables. I'm looking to hopefully get something in the $85 - $90K range... condo or townhome. Something with at least two bedroom so I can rent and have help with the payments. From a tax point of view, not to mention equity and investments, I think this is what I need to do.... not to mention, it looks really good to the ladies if they know I own my own place. The location is right between University Mall and UVSC, so I will always be able to resell and/or rent.
Life moves fast.
Ever so faster in this new year. One month already gone!!
It high time I grow up... I guess.
Monday morning I got a call from managment saying they have a kid who wants to buy my contract, and can I be moved out by tomorrow.
Uh... yeah. I guess.
I have no place to live at the moment. Good thing I don't own much, and now even less as I have thrown out even more with this move. My big leather couch will be going to Jacob and Cari as soon as I get my bosses truck (probably this Saturday now). I left my TV and electronics with a friend down the hall from my old place, and as for everything else, well... I'm sleeping on the basement floor of a lady I work with.
I think it's time I own.
I'm VERY greatful to be working in the company I do work in... I have experienced (and more importantly honest and trustworthy) lenders and real estate agents at my disposal. I'm not going to buy a new condo or townhome from my company as they are both too expensive and too far away from Provo/Orem.
I met with our prefered lender this morning and he checked my credit report and ran some numbers. He says it looks like I could get about $95K at 5.18% with $0 down at about $550 - $700/ month payments depending on the HOA and other variables. I'm looking to hopefully get something in the $85 - $90K range... condo or townhome. Something with at least two bedroom so I can rent and have help with the payments. From a tax point of view, not to mention equity and investments, I think this is what I need to do.... not to mention, it looks really good to the ladies if they know I own my own place. The location is right between University Mall and UVSC, so I will always be able to resell and/or rent.
Life moves fast.
Ever so faster in this new year. One month already gone!!
It high time I grow up... I guess.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
More Dog Drama
Just a quick post. Yesterday I was walking home from school with Malik and heard the neighbor dogs barking. I was so annoyed I started feeling quite grumpy about them before I even got home. Well, to my surprise and to my great annoyance, the stupid dogs were in my backyard again. They had created another huge hole under the fence and were running around, barking like mad. I went out with a broom and tried to get them to go back under, but that was a futile attempt as they run faster than me, and kept going around and around the pool and not towards the fence. Also, while they were in there, they annoyed the dog in the other yard and it broke a hole in the fence trying to stick its head through barking. So now we have a nice ugly hole in the fence there too. Well, I was at this point super mad. Swearing in my head mad and wishing I had a pellet gun to shoot these stupid dogs. (sorry to all you dog lovers) Well, I did a bad thing. First, I opened the gate to the front in the hopes that they would just leave and be someone elses problem and maybe get picked up by someone. This only half worked. Just the dumb male dog decided it was a good idea to leave. The girl dog wouldn't leave the fence. So I closed the gate and called animal control. By the time they got here (an hour and a half later) the girl dog had managed to dig her way back under the fence. The animal control guy said he would leave a note on the homeowners door.
It seems they must have found the other dog because both bloody dogs are barking it up again this morning. I am telling you, I really can't stand these dogs. The other dogs behind us never bark. I want Bret to go talk to the neighbors, because I am afraid if I do, I will probably get shot by them for hating their dogs so much. You would think they would care if their neighbors have turned in their dogs, and we aren't the only ones either. They have gotten out before according to another neighbor. If they keep getting warnings I believe they get fined at some point. We shall see.
It seems they must have found the other dog because both bloody dogs are barking it up again this morning. I am telling you, I really can't stand these dogs. The other dogs behind us never bark. I want Bret to go talk to the neighbors, because I am afraid if I do, I will probably get shot by them for hating their dogs so much. You would think they would care if their neighbors have turned in their dogs, and we aren't the only ones either. They have gotten out before according to another neighbor. If they keep getting warnings I believe they get fined at some point. We shall see.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Kentucky - and power vs. authority
So I added a new location to my list of places I have visited: Lexington, Kentucky. To be honest, I probably can't even point out where Kentucky is. I group it with other states like Louisianna and West Virginia as states that don't really seem a part of the USA - in my mind, of course! It was one of my whirlwind trips where I fly out, arrive at night, go to bed, awake early, visit the client, and fly home. So I really didn't "see" Kentucky except for the scenes from my car to the airport. I was visiting a new client - Lexmark. Who knew Lexmark came from Lexington, KY? Maybe dad did, since they were sold off by IBM back in the day. The meetings went well, the flights were fine, and Kentucky seemed to have normal people there - if not quite nice. I tried to keep to myself that I hate the Kentucky Wildcats, which was probably a wise decision.
Today on the way home from work I stopped at one of my home teaching family's and gave a blessing to the mother. This brought up a "pet peeve" of mine. During the blessing the husband stated "by the power of..." I bring this up because in my mission I remember my mission president explaining the difference between power and authority, and that we were to perform blessings by authority of the priesthood, not power. In fact, as I look here at an old priesthood manual in the section on blessings (by the way - why don't they provide these anymore? How does one figure out how to do some of these blessings these days? They used to be in the back of the manuals, but with the new "prophets" manuals, this is no longer. I had to dig up an old preisthood manual just to confirm the wording on this. Seems a little strange) it states that the priesthood holder "states that the ordinance is performed by the AUTHORITY of the Melchizedek Priesthood." Not POWER! The reason it came to my mind is because the last 10 blessings or so I have witnessed (including sick, babies, confirmations) have all said "power." Even the bishop a few weeks ago when he confirmed a new member. I know it probably isn't a huge deal, but it seems we should be much more careful with the language of our ordinances and blessings. My mission president seemed to - and I never forgot it. Maybe others did not. Have you guys noticed this as well? I mean, we make sure the baptism prayer is perfect, as well as the sacrament prayers, so why not be as exact with the other ones? Sure, a blessing is not as important as a baptism or partaking of the sacrament, but still...
Today on the way home from work I stopped at one of my home teaching family's and gave a blessing to the mother. This brought up a "pet peeve" of mine. During the blessing the husband stated "by the power of..." I bring this up because in my mission I remember my mission president explaining the difference between power and authority, and that we were to perform blessings by authority of the priesthood, not power. In fact, as I look here at an old priesthood manual in the section on blessings (by the way - why don't they provide these anymore? How does one figure out how to do some of these blessings these days? They used to be in the back of the manuals, but with the new "prophets" manuals, this is no longer. I had to dig up an old preisthood manual just to confirm the wording on this. Seems a little strange) it states that the priesthood holder "states that the ordinance is performed by the AUTHORITY of the Melchizedek Priesthood." Not POWER! The reason it came to my mind is because the last 10 blessings or so I have witnessed (including sick, babies, confirmations) have all said "power." Even the bishop a few weeks ago when he confirmed a new member. I know it probably isn't a huge deal, but it seems we should be much more careful with the language of our ordinances and blessings. My mission president seemed to - and I never forgot it. Maybe others did not. Have you guys noticed this as well? I mean, we make sure the baptism prayer is perfect, as well as the sacrament prayers, so why not be as exact with the other ones? Sure, a blessing is not as important as a baptism or partaking of the sacrament, but still...
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
In need of advice
Ok, question for the family:
I have a friend that I love that I am worried about. It's a long complicated story, but I'll try to not take forever telling it. She's one of my former roommates that I lived with for two years and honestly, she's the one that I'm closest to out of the bunch. She's been dating this guy on and off (mostly on I think) for the past five months. Normally this would be fine, great even. However, here's the problem: this guy dated one of our other roommates for over eight months, had some "difficulties", and then didn't want to marry her until she didn't want to marry him anymore. This other roommate has since moved away and has no idea that this guy is dating one of her best friends. Oh the drama! :-) I started getting worried when last Sunday, we invited her over for dinner and then she didn't show. I called her and she said she was on the phone with her boyfriend and could she call me back. Half an hour later, she calls and asks if he can come too. Sure, that's fine. 45 minutes later, no show. She finally calls and says that she can't make it because she has to go do something with her boyfriend.
The advice I need is should I do or say anything to my friend about this guy? On the one hand, it's not really my business and it's her life. But on the other hand, she's my good friend and she doesn't know all of history surrounding him. Mostly, I'm worried because she keeps coming to my mind. I don't have lots of prompting-type experiences that I was aware were the Holy Ghost telling me to get a move on, but with the frequency with which she keeps popping in my head, I'm starting to wonder.
Anyway, I just want to know what people think. Should I try to talk to her and express my concern or should I just it go? I just don't want her to get hurt like our other roommate who still crys over this guy.
I have a friend that I love that I am worried about. It's a long complicated story, but I'll try to not take forever telling it. She's one of my former roommates that I lived with for two years and honestly, she's the one that I'm closest to out of the bunch. She's been dating this guy on and off (mostly on I think) for the past five months. Normally this would be fine, great even. However, here's the problem: this guy dated one of our other roommates for over eight months, had some "difficulties", and then didn't want to marry her until she didn't want to marry him anymore. This other roommate has since moved away and has no idea that this guy is dating one of her best friends. Oh the drama! :-) I started getting worried when last Sunday, we invited her over for dinner and then she didn't show. I called her and she said she was on the phone with her boyfriend and could she call me back. Half an hour later, she calls and asks if he can come too. Sure, that's fine. 45 minutes later, no show. She finally calls and says that she can't make it because she has to go do something with her boyfriend.
The advice I need is should I do or say anything to my friend about this guy? On the one hand, it's not really my business and it's her life. But on the other hand, she's my good friend and she doesn't know all of history surrounding him. Mostly, I'm worried because she keeps coming to my mind. I don't have lots of prompting-type experiences that I was aware were the Holy Ghost telling me to get a move on, but with the frequency with which she keeps popping in my head, I'm starting to wonder.
Anyway, I just want to know what people think. Should I try to talk to her and express my concern or should I just it go? I just don't want her to get hurt like our other roommate who still crys over this guy.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
What Heaven would be like
You don't have to all read this, it is long and some may find it boring. I thought I'd Blog it for Bret to keep in his journal.
The first question my journal asked was, write down the things you love. I had so many! Next, it said, write what your idea of heaven was.
Karen’s Heaven:
I would never have to get up to an alarm clock, but would wake early to sunshine and the gentle sounds of birds chirping. Our bodies would feel wonderful, no aches or pains! I would have my favorite breakfast everyday, granola and yogurt and fruit. Then, I would get to go for a long walk, sometimes with friends or family, sometimes alone. I could choose to walk where ever I wanted each morning, from along rivers to up canyons to city streets paved with gold and jewels.
For scripture study, I would get to read all the unknown books, and it would be so fun and interesting to have it all become so clear.
For lunch, I could go out with someone everyday, sometimes grandkids, my mother, my kids, my friends; sometimes people I felt I could help, sometimes people who could be of a help to me. I could have whatever I wanted, because there were no calories up there. I could have donuts with Jarek one day, and ice cream sundaes at Friendly’s with Kathy the next, then a healthy salad with my sister the next.
During the afternoon, we wouldn’t have to do chores, like cut the lawn or clean much. My house would be small and simple, yet it could grow and stretch to the right size if I had family or friends come to visit or for a get-together or party. I guess we would all have some kind of job to do. I hope I would get to visit people that needed the Gospel and share it with them. Maybe in heaven that would be all done. I just hope I get a job with people.
In the evening, there would be special firesides once a week like at BYU, sometimes and Apostle, maybe sometimes Joseph Smith or Brigham Young. On other evenings, we could visit friends or family on the front porches and have nice long talks, and even walks too if we wanted.
There would be no pain, no hate, no evil. People would love each other, and there would be no stealing or lying or anger.
The days would go by with all the good we have here, but none of the bad. No flat tires, no strep throat, no money problems, no broken bones, no hurricanes or tornados, except there would have to be some rain for Tevia.
It sounds wonderful to me.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Thankful
Well, I am just so thankful that Malik is fine. And I am thankful for nurses who stay up all hours of the night tending to sick and injured people. I am thankful for thoughtful people who give their love and concern and prayers and best wishes on behalf of Malik. I am thankful for the time when I will get a full nights sleep without having to hear beeps and cries. I am thankful that mine and my kids trials are ours, and that we don't have someone elses. I am thankful for Bret who picks up the slack and cares for Jarek and makes sure he gets to school while I am gone. I am thankful for Jarek and his great faith, he is such a good example. I am thankful for Malik who toook his medicine this morning without even crying or spitting it out one time. I am thankful for modern medicine, for without it, I don't know how long Malik would even be with us. I am thankful to God for giving me things in my life that strengthen my faith, and keeps my mind in rememberance that all we have is not ours, but His, and we are just the caretakers of what has been entrusted to us. I am thankful for life.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Malik on my mind
As I have Malik on my mind - I looked him up in Wikipedia and found some great stuff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malik
It is always hard seeing a child sick. But I do have a lot faith. I never really worry that things are going to get terrible; like he'll die or something. It is also great having another son with even greater faith. As I drove Jarek home from the hospital where Malik still is, he asked me why Malik couldn't come home with us. "I thought I had enough faith" he said. What a blessing to have children.
And is there anything greater than a mother? Tevia went to the hospital with Malik last night as he was having difficulties breathing. Tevia spent most of the night at his side. I was able to take her place for a few hours to help her get some rest, but she makes it through with little sleep on the love of a child and poor tasting hospital food. We are so blessed to have her in our home.
Malik will be back tomorrow morning. He is doing well and is happy. But Jarek and I are lonely here at home. We can't wait for mom and Malik to come home and complete our family.
FYI - Jarek is in Wikipedia also!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malik
It is always hard seeing a child sick. But I do have a lot faith. I never really worry that things are going to get terrible; like he'll die or something. It is also great having another son with even greater faith. As I drove Jarek home from the hospital where Malik still is, he asked me why Malik couldn't come home with us. "I thought I had enough faith" he said. What a blessing to have children.
And is there anything greater than a mother? Tevia went to the hospital with Malik last night as he was having difficulties breathing. Tevia spent most of the night at his side. I was able to take her place for a few hours to help her get some rest, but she makes it through with little sleep on the love of a child and poor tasting hospital food. We are so blessed to have her in our home.
Malik will be back tomorrow morning. He is doing well and is happy. But Jarek and I are lonely here at home. We can't wait for mom and Malik to come home and complete our family.
FYI - Jarek is in Wikipedia also!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Sunday dinner at the Wall's
We had another Sunday dinner at Jacob and Cari's yesterday. I made a pot roast, Cari provided her WONDERFULL jello cake dessert, and we had a couple other sides brought by friends of both me and Jacob and Cari. The food was great and the company was great.
Jacob... you've fooled another. My friend Molly seems to think you're quite intelligent. Don't worry... I didn't tell her the truth... so she still thinks you are! HA! Just kidding. I just wanted to say (and I've thought this on several occasions) Molly pointed out how impressed she was that we carried on an actually gospel conversation. Dispite the fact that it was a Sunday, I told her that's something the Wall family just does, regardless what day it is. I really do appreciate having friends (family) that are well read, opinionated, and willing to discuss gospel topics... so, thank you... all of you....
Oh and Jacob... it's ORGANIC, O-R-G-A-N-I-C... don't forget it, ok? :)
Jacob... you've fooled another. My friend Molly seems to think you're quite intelligent. Don't worry... I didn't tell her the truth... so she still thinks you are! HA! Just kidding. I just wanted to say (and I've thought this on several occasions) Molly pointed out how impressed she was that we carried on an actually gospel conversation. Dispite the fact that it was a Sunday, I told her that's something the Wall family just does, regardless what day it is. I really do appreciate having friends (family) that are well read, opinionated, and willing to discuss gospel topics... so, thank you... all of you....
Oh and Jacob... it's ORGANIC, O-R-G-A-N-I-C... don't forget it, ok? :)
SNOW DAY!!!, and more on listening
I really watched this week to see how people listen. not very well, I may say. we did a 'pretend' visit teaching meeting with a new person we were paired off with in a Relief Society thing. before we were paired off, we were supposed to write on a card what we would like our visiting teacher to do, especially if it were our real life ones. I simply wrote, 'listen more', so I have someone to really talk to and not have to listen to their sad life stories. (this can't work in my real life situation, because I have someone who needs me.) well, I met this cool lady from Westpoint, we had 15 minutes to chat, and she was sweet and fun and nice, but she basically asked me about 2 or 3 things, like how many kids I had, etc, and then she told me all about her. it must be hard to really want to listen to what other people are saying, cause most of the time, why would we or they really care? they gave another example of a lady who's visiting teachers asked if they could come over cause it was the end of the month and they still had to fit her in! the young mother said you could come if you can help me clean, my house is a wreck and I have guests coming tomorrow and a sick child. they came, sat, gave a lesson, and left..... how rude is that? oh well. it was fun. I watched how seldom even dad really listens to me. right now, he just simply can't take anything else in. his brain is fried. so pour your little heart out to the Lord, and in your journal, cause that may be all we get sometimes. everyone needs someone to listen to them.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Haxxor skillz
Maybe it is the post vacation era, but I have been feeling kinda depressed as of late. My classes are more interesting than usual, and I am doing well in a rough job; yet, I feel I have little purpose in life. Which, to be honest, isn't true since work and school really are my purpose. But, that dosen't stop me from feeling lost. Usually, I have some event or time in the future to look forward to and hope for. Its my dreams and hopes that push me and allow me to enjoy day to day life. I don't have one fixed event on the horizon that isn't a meeting or test. Four inches of snow fell last night turning Provo all white and reminding me how much the pretty white stuff had cost me a month earlier. Its the first time I've ever been annoyed to see snow.
I've learned how poorly I write in my English 316 class. This paragraph displys evident proof of that. This is not a surprise to me, but my teacher was not at all reserved when she told me she didn't think an A was in my future and suggested I retake English 315. Whether she knew it or not, this was the best advice she could give me as I am always trying my best to prove people wrong. Discouraging remarks have always pushed me harder than compliments.
This is also true in my advanced volleyball class where the possibility to be thrown out of the class has me really excited. The constant negative feedback has pushed me to really put forth some effort. I won a game 15-0 yesterday. I served 15 striaght points with 3 aces. The rest of my game sucks, but no one can handle my very short curving serve.
The title you ask? The computer Science department had a major problem this semester with one of their large databases. After all options but wiping the database had been exusted, Dr. Burton suggested they pay me a visit. I assured them their grim assesment of no regular fixes was correct, but asked them if I might atempt a more unusual fix. After deciding it was worth a shot they returned, and asked me to give it a try. End of the story, I hacked the database from outside and hex edited(hard coded) a solution. So, I guess some of my earlier skills in that area are still usful.
Why is this important? Everyone constantly tells me how talented I am at so very many things. Yet being talented at everything does a whole lot of nothing. Only if you are exceptional at just a few things do rewards come. Example, I am a great programmer in more languages than most of my friends even know. Yet, they are exceptional in just Java and C++ the two languages the CS department is currently using to test us.
Anyways, Im not really complaining, just trying to get some words out so I can feel better. The real purpose of this blog is to ask everyone to email me their resume. Mine is due on Tuesday and I am really trying to show my teacher I am not illiterate. I did get an A- in 315 for goodness sake. Only, Cari constantly reminds me it was only becasue I flirted with the teacher every class.
So to sum up this entry, BYU won their basketball game tongiht, Cari liked the dinner I made and the CS department called me a genius; lets get ready for tomorrow.
I've learned how poorly I write in my English 316 class. This paragraph displys evident proof of that. This is not a surprise to me, but my teacher was not at all reserved when she told me she didn't think an A was in my future and suggested I retake English 315. Whether she knew it or not, this was the best advice she could give me as I am always trying my best to prove people wrong. Discouraging remarks have always pushed me harder than compliments.
This is also true in my advanced volleyball class where the possibility to be thrown out of the class has me really excited. The constant negative feedback has pushed me to really put forth some effort. I won a game 15-0 yesterday. I served 15 striaght points with 3 aces. The rest of my game sucks, but no one can handle my very short curving serve.
The title you ask? The computer Science department had a major problem this semester with one of their large databases. After all options but wiping the database had been exusted, Dr. Burton suggested they pay me a visit. I assured them their grim assesment of no regular fixes was correct, but asked them if I might atempt a more unusual fix. After deciding it was worth a shot they returned, and asked me to give it a try. End of the story, I hacked the database from outside and hex edited(hard coded) a solution. So, I guess some of my earlier skills in that area are still usful.
Why is this important? Everyone constantly tells me how talented I am at so very many things. Yet being talented at everything does a whole lot of nothing. Only if you are exceptional at just a few things do rewards come. Example, I am a great programmer in more languages than most of my friends even know. Yet, they are exceptional in just Java and C++ the two languages the CS department is currently using to test us.
Anyways, Im not really complaining, just trying to get some words out so I can feel better. The real purpose of this blog is to ask everyone to email me their resume. Mine is due on Tuesday and I am really trying to show my teacher I am not illiterate. I did get an A- in 315 for goodness sake. Only, Cari constantly reminds me it was only becasue I flirted with the teacher every class.
So to sum up this entry, BYU won their basketball game tongiht, Cari liked the dinner I made and the CS department called me a genius; lets get ready for tomorrow.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
deep question
Yes to Jacob Webb, people have kept me busy and I haven't had time to blog lately, but I loved all the people who were here and kept me busy having fun.
I am doing a 40 day soul- searching- journal -type thing. the question for yesterday was: sit quietly and think back and try to remember someone who you know really listens to you when you speak, and cares about you and even understands you.
wow! that was fun to do. to really try and figure out, does anyone out there understand me?
I loved the question. I guess I love deep stuff. I think Bret does in some ways. I know my parents don't now and I don't think they ever did. I couldn't think of a single teacher that I went to for that special care that some people have. none of the priests understood me. my first husband certainly didn't. I think at a high school level, my best friend did, Alexa, so I am glad the name may get used someday in the family. My brothers don't. but, alas, my sister does!!!!! yeah! my poor Donald tries to, and does sometimes. I am very complicated. Olivia and I were close, but she did not get what I was about. so, I am glad for my sister who loves me unconditionally. and, for Bret, who I think gets me pretty much. and I know for sure that I always have the Lord who knows me and loves me anyways... (that reminds me, would anyone mind if Kathy my sis joined the Blog? she may not want to, but I was wondering. )
then the book says, today, I will try and understand someone else.... cool. so I did. Kathy had a terrible day at school. I tried to be unjudgmental and just understand how she was feeling. it was fun. then dad had a bad day at work. it worries me, but I do understand how he must feel not knowing what everyone in the dept thinks he should know.
and just for everyone's enjoyment, hoy es el compleanos de Ben Franklin. I love my little spanish word of the day. I love to learn. I am happy even though everyone else had a bad day, I have a cold and something even worse, (womanly stuff), and yet, it feels good to be able to make a good dinner for Don and the kids and cheer them on in this crazy trip of life. I made Don white macaroni and cheese, homemade, like he liked in the restaurant we went to. He liked it, Tom didn't.
ps - from the boomer saga.... Kathy went on a date yesterday with Charlie, a cutie and runner up for Mr. Ketcham. he took her to a movie, Burger King, and to play air hockey at fun central. when she got home, she said, " I kept thinking of Boomer the whole time and how comfortable I feel when I am with him."
I am doing a 40 day soul- searching- journal -type thing. the question for yesterday was: sit quietly and think back and try to remember someone who you know really listens to you when you speak, and cares about you and even understands you.
wow! that was fun to do. to really try and figure out, does anyone out there understand me?
I loved the question. I guess I love deep stuff. I think Bret does in some ways. I know my parents don't now and I don't think they ever did. I couldn't think of a single teacher that I went to for that special care that some people have. none of the priests understood me. my first husband certainly didn't. I think at a high school level, my best friend did, Alexa, so I am glad the name may get used someday in the family. My brothers don't. but, alas, my sister does!!!!! yeah! my poor Donald tries to, and does sometimes. I am very complicated. Olivia and I were close, but she did not get what I was about. so, I am glad for my sister who loves me unconditionally. and, for Bret, who I think gets me pretty much. and I know for sure that I always have the Lord who knows me and loves me anyways... (that reminds me, would anyone mind if Kathy my sis joined the Blog? she may not want to, but I was wondering. )
then the book says, today, I will try and understand someone else.... cool. so I did. Kathy had a terrible day at school. I tried to be unjudgmental and just understand how she was feeling. it was fun. then dad had a bad day at work. it worries me, but I do understand how he must feel not knowing what everyone in the dept thinks he should know.
and just for everyone's enjoyment, hoy es el compleanos de Ben Franklin. I love my little spanish word of the day. I love to learn. I am happy even though everyone else had a bad day, I have a cold and something even worse, (womanly stuff), and yet, it feels good to be able to make a good dinner for Don and the kids and cheer them on in this crazy trip of life. I made Don white macaroni and cheese, homemade, like he liked in the restaurant we went to. He liked it, Tom didn't.
ps - from the boomer saga.... Kathy went on a date yesterday with Charlie, a cutie and runner up for Mr. Ketcham. he took her to a movie, Burger King, and to play air hockey at fun central. when she got home, she said, " I kept thinking of Boomer the whole time and how comfortable I feel when I am with him."
Where are the Cheetos?!
So, there's been quite the quiet spell here on "All That is Wall."
I can only imagine that it is because Jacob has been making his rounds visiting family and leaving a mess of destroyed computers he has "fixed" in his wake... well... IF anyone happens to get their computer up and running it will be good to hear how the new year is going... after all, we've now started into the second half of the first month of the year already!
As for me... well... I'm just excited to be starting BYU intramural soccer again. It's co-ed and Jacob will be on our team. I'm also still hoping to get on a basketball team, but in the mean time, I'm doig well filling my exersice quota with racquetball on Wednesdays and elders quarum basketball on Thursdays.
I've moved to full time days now (instead of working part time days/nights for full time) since I'm not taking classes this semester becuase tuition is ridiculous!!! I'll have in state tuition by summer session!!! FINALLY! I am also taking two night institute classes. Tuesday nights: Doctorines of the gospel (for 24-31 year olds) and Thursday nights: Preperation for a celestial marriage (no, there are no prospects, but it's been a few years since I've taken the class, and the instructor comes HIGHLY reccomended... it's a good class, I think everyone should have to take it at some point).
Anyway... hope all are doing well as well.
I can only imagine that it is because Jacob has been making his rounds visiting family and leaving a mess of destroyed computers he has "fixed" in his wake... well... IF anyone happens to get their computer up and running it will be good to hear how the new year is going... after all, we've now started into the second half of the first month of the year already!
As for me... well... I'm just excited to be starting BYU intramural soccer again. It's co-ed and Jacob will be on our team. I'm also still hoping to get on a basketball team, but in the mean time, I'm doig well filling my exersice quota with racquetball on Wednesdays and elders quarum basketball on Thursdays.
I've moved to full time days now (instead of working part time days/nights for full time) since I'm not taking classes this semester becuase tuition is ridiculous!!! I'll have in state tuition by summer session!!! FINALLY! I am also taking two night institute classes. Tuesday nights: Doctorines of the gospel (for 24-31 year olds) and Thursday nights: Preperation for a celestial marriage (no, there are no prospects, but it's been a few years since I've taken the class, and the instructor comes HIGHLY reccomended... it's a good class, I think everyone should have to take it at some point).
Anyway... hope all are doing well as well.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Roommates
I simply need to vent. I don't expect anyone to read this, but I kind of have no where else to turn.
My roommates are complete... well... you fill in the blank.
In all my life, throughout all my various roommates, companions, and even family members I've never had trouble getting along with any of them with the exception of these two, and of course, my mom.... but this isn't about her for once.
I'm sure I could do something to better the situation... but there's only so much I can do. One roommate is a pathalogical liar (even about the smallest most insignificant things too) and he stinks to high heaven. The other is a lazy blob that thinks the world owes him everything and does nothing for himself... thank to his mom and dad, he never does, and he expects the same treatment from me.
I've done everything I can to accomidate these two guys. From the day I moved in. I've cooked them meals. I clean after them. I even agreed to share a room with one of them so there wouldn't be conflicts with sleeping schedules. For the most part, I don't mind that. I like to think of myself as an accomidating person.... but when I go on doing things like that without a single thanks. In fact, they really do think it's all owed to them!!! To compound my frustration, they've now conspired against me to get me kicked out of my apartment. You would think I'd be happy to leave... right?... WRONG. Do you understand the time and effort I've put into this dump to make it par living conditions for myself?? From upgrades to fixtures, to deep cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom. Additionally, I have more possessions here than both of them combined. They're both from Heber, UT and have most of their belongings still at their parents house.
Given all this, I went to the apartment management after receiving a notice to move and asked what was going on... they gave me a run around that they had to move me because of apartment consolidating, yadda yadda yadda... bullcrap! Today I found out the truth that my roommates tried to get me kicked out becuase I mentioned bringing a friend to come live here too and they didn't want to have to share rooms.... needless to say, no more Mr. Nice Jacob. I'm making them move into the same room together and I plan on making their life complete hell. What ungrateful jerks!! Never have they shown a hint of gratitude, apprectiation, or respect for me or all I do for them.... they honestly believe the world owes them everything.
Am I way off base here? I can't remember the last time I felt SO upset, betrayed and ready to literally punch someone...
My roommates are complete... well... you fill in the blank.
In all my life, throughout all my various roommates, companions, and even family members I've never had trouble getting along with any of them with the exception of these two, and of course, my mom.... but this isn't about her for once.
I'm sure I could do something to better the situation... but there's only so much I can do. One roommate is a pathalogical liar (even about the smallest most insignificant things too) and he stinks to high heaven. The other is a lazy blob that thinks the world owes him everything and does nothing for himself... thank to his mom and dad, he never does, and he expects the same treatment from me.
I've done everything I can to accomidate these two guys. From the day I moved in. I've cooked them meals. I clean after them. I even agreed to share a room with one of them so there wouldn't be conflicts with sleeping schedules. For the most part, I don't mind that. I like to think of myself as an accomidating person.... but when I go on doing things like that without a single thanks. In fact, they really do think it's all owed to them!!! To compound my frustration, they've now conspired against me to get me kicked out of my apartment. You would think I'd be happy to leave... right?... WRONG. Do you understand the time and effort I've put into this dump to make it par living conditions for myself?? From upgrades to fixtures, to deep cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom. Additionally, I have more possessions here than both of them combined. They're both from Heber, UT and have most of their belongings still at their parents house.
Given all this, I went to the apartment management after receiving a notice to move and asked what was going on... they gave me a run around that they had to move me because of apartment consolidating, yadda yadda yadda... bullcrap! Today I found out the truth that my roommates tried to get me kicked out becuase I mentioned bringing a friend to come live here too and they didn't want to have to share rooms.... needless to say, no more Mr. Nice Jacob. I'm making them move into the same room together and I plan on making their life complete hell. What ungrateful jerks!! Never have they shown a hint of gratitude, apprectiation, or respect for me or all I do for them.... they honestly believe the world owes them everything.
Am I way off base here? I can't remember the last time I felt SO upset, betrayed and ready to literally punch someone...
Sunday, January 08, 2006
The Right to Act in God's Name
As those of you who have read this blog know, when I am alone I go for walks. This evening I walked past a new church that is situated in a very unique, and intriguing, area full of palm trees in various twists and turns. The church is called Pure Heart (www.pureheart.org). Since the buildings intrigued me, I thought I would look it up online to see if it gave a history of the architecture. It did not. But while on their site I thought I would see what this church is about. Reading their page made me realize why many other "religions" will never understand the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Our "churches" are based upon completely different paradigms.
The Pure Heart church is a non-denominational congregation. Which in essense means they are not a church, but a "group" of people. Yet they baptize people, and preach, and most probably collect money. If you read the history of their "leaders," many of them were ordained, but it does not say by whom. It would seem they are elected by the "board" which makes all decisions, including what the pastor preaches. The church seems nice enough. They certainly want to be followers of Christ. They have programs for women, men, and young adults (okay, has every religion now copied this Mormon trait?). They also apparently have a sort of race you go through with different laps. The first lap is acceptance of Christ and baptism.
I do not wish to speak ill of this church, but rather use it as evidence that there are profound differences between most churches. I remember reading an article while on my mission of a religious professor who stated there really can only be two religions which are true: Catholicism and Mormonism (forgive the lazy Mormon references). This is because only these churches have been given authority from God (this is an exaggeration, but let's talk about major religions). The Catholics got it from Peter, who received it from Christ. We received it from Peter, James, and John (to Joseph and Oliver). Any other Christian religion was just formed by people who thought they understood the scriptures better. This is a paradigm that is hard to shift once you believe it. It is no wonder that most members I know who have left the church do not go to another church, but rather avoid churches. They can not rid themselves of this belief. Therefore, if Mormonism is not correct - then no church is correct. It seems logical to me, but to the rest of the world we seem awfully cocky and condescending.
The Pure Heart church is a non-denominational congregation. Which in essense means they are not a church, but a "group" of people. Yet they baptize people, and preach, and most probably collect money. If you read the history of their "leaders," many of them were ordained, but it does not say by whom. It would seem they are elected by the "board" which makes all decisions, including what the pastor preaches. The church seems nice enough. They certainly want to be followers of Christ. They have programs for women, men, and young adults (okay, has every religion now copied this Mormon trait?). They also apparently have a sort of race you go through with different laps. The first lap is acceptance of Christ and baptism.
I do not wish to speak ill of this church, but rather use it as evidence that there are profound differences between most churches. I remember reading an article while on my mission of a religious professor who stated there really can only be two religions which are true: Catholicism and Mormonism (forgive the lazy Mormon references). This is because only these churches have been given authority from God (this is an exaggeration, but let's talk about major religions). The Catholics got it from Peter, who received it from Christ. We received it from Peter, James, and John (to Joseph and Oliver). Any other Christian religion was just formed by people who thought they understood the scriptures better. This is a paradigm that is hard to shift once you believe it. It is no wonder that most members I know who have left the church do not go to another church, but rather avoid churches. They can not rid themselves of this belief. Therefore, if Mormonism is not correct - then no church is correct. It seems logical to me, but to the rest of the world we seem awfully cocky and condescending.
Friday, January 06, 2006
friday, Jan 6th
Wow! you guys have been busy blogging. Last I checked there weren't any new ones. Jacob, that was a nice tribute to your brother and a sad but sweet blog. Tev, I write all my books and movies in my journal each year, but I it was great to see yours as a blog. I also thought we'd do favorites this year for our 'family' as a blog, but we were waiting for you to come and get all the favorite movies and books of this year. we did Cari's favorites. we had a wonderful time with Jacob and Cari. They are fun and easy going. I enjoy Cari's sense of calm and her incredible patience. Jacob is lucky to have her. she is smart and sweet and doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Daisy loves her so much. they both played and played with Daisy. she will miss them but luckily she has the boys coming to keep her busy. they will like her now. she is obedient and calmer. Jacob did me lots of great favors, like getting all the wires out of my room and out from behind my computer. thank you Jacob!!!!! we played so many games, mostly Puerto Rico. I never won, but I came in second once and 3rd twice. I did win the first time I played, but only cause I made a mistake no one caught. the snow is melting, but there should be some left for the boys. Kathy has been in bed for 2 days straight. we are both on amoxicillin. I have sprayed Lysol everywhere. wer are good to go! awaiting the arrival of our favorite little boys!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Tiny shoes
Over Christmas I had the opportunity to see and hold something I haven’t for almost 20 years.
Tevia came to me and said, “I think you might be ready to see something.” She pulled out a FedEx envelope from the closet of the guest room we were in and unwrapped a small plastic baggie containing a little pair of old blue sneakers. It took me a few moments to realize what exactly I had just been handed… it was the pair of shoes our little brother Andrew was killed in. They were worn out blue canvas shoes with once white plastic toes, faded and stained from the grass and dirt of a small child’s adventures. Stuffed inside the shoes was a pair of small dark-blue socks and a wallet size photo of the shoes’ last owner; one of only three or four pictures ever taken of him.
I was busy packing so I took that opportunity to compose my thoughts before removing and holding the shoes. So many thoughts were going through my mind, most of which were questions of “why.” Why did my aunt Donna take them from him in his final moments? Why had my mother let Andrew (and all us kids) run free with absolutely no supervision as such a young age? Why did I blame myself for his death for most of my life? Why was I being shown these items now after so many years? What would my mom say if she ever found out Tevia was now in possession of these shoes and how she acquired them? How many more adventures would these shoes have seen had the events of that fateful day, some twenty years ago, been different?
As I finally took the shoes out of the bag to hold them my mind was flooded with memories that I had been too busy, or rather unwilling, to recall for years. Many of the memories I have to doubt because I’m unsure what injecting my own thoughts about how things were as a child then letting them collects dust on the shelves of my mind for years has done to their credibility. Regardless….
Some of my memories include Andrew sleeping in a wicker bassinette that stood about four feet off the ground and he was able to (and did) climb out of it at about 16 months old. We used to move his bottom lip when he was sleeping and “talk” for him, although, he never needed us to talk for him as he learned to both talk and walk at an exceptionally young age. We used to push the middle of his forehead skin down towards his nose and say “transformers, more than meets the eye!” I’m not exactly sure why we did that, I think he looked like the Decepticon symbol when we did it… or something like that.
So little ever was, and even less now remains, of Andrew T. Webb. Had he been granted the chance to live out his life, 2005 would have been the year of his homecoming from his mission. He would have most likely been the best built, and tallest of his siblings… and who knows… I might even have TWO younger brothers married before me!
I’m thankful Donna had the sense to save those shoes and keep them from an unfit mother. I’m glad Tevia showed them to me, which gave me something more than fuzzy memories to remind me of the 9th member of our family.
Tevia came to me and said, “I think you might be ready to see something.” She pulled out a FedEx envelope from the closet of the guest room we were in and unwrapped a small plastic baggie containing a little pair of old blue sneakers. It took me a few moments to realize what exactly I had just been handed… it was the pair of shoes our little brother Andrew was killed in. They were worn out blue canvas shoes with once white plastic toes, faded and stained from the grass and dirt of a small child’s adventures. Stuffed inside the shoes was a pair of small dark-blue socks and a wallet size photo of the shoes’ last owner; one of only three or four pictures ever taken of him.
I was busy packing so I took that opportunity to compose my thoughts before removing and holding the shoes. So many thoughts were going through my mind, most of which were questions of “why.” Why did my aunt Donna take them from him in his final moments? Why had my mother let Andrew (and all us kids) run free with absolutely no supervision as such a young age? Why did I blame myself for his death for most of my life? Why was I being shown these items now after so many years? What would my mom say if she ever found out Tevia was now in possession of these shoes and how she acquired them? How many more adventures would these shoes have seen had the events of that fateful day, some twenty years ago, been different?
As I finally took the shoes out of the bag to hold them my mind was flooded with memories that I had been too busy, or rather unwilling, to recall for years. Many of the memories I have to doubt because I’m unsure what injecting my own thoughts about how things were as a child then letting them collects dust on the shelves of my mind for years has done to their credibility. Regardless….
Some of my memories include Andrew sleeping in a wicker bassinette that stood about four feet off the ground and he was able to (and did) climb out of it at about 16 months old. We used to move his bottom lip when he was sleeping and “talk” for him, although, he never needed us to talk for him as he learned to both talk and walk at an exceptionally young age. We used to push the middle of his forehead skin down towards his nose and say “transformers, more than meets the eye!” I’m not exactly sure why we did that, I think he looked like the Decepticon symbol when we did it… or something like that.
So little ever was, and even less now remains, of Andrew T. Webb. Had he been granted the chance to live out his life, 2005 would have been the year of his homecoming from his mission. He would have most likely been the best built, and tallest of his siblings… and who knows… I might even have TWO younger brothers married before me!
I’m thankful Donna had the sense to save those shoes and keep them from an unfit mother. I’m glad Tevia showed them to me, which gave me something more than fuzzy memories to remind me of the 9th member of our family.
The Skeleton Key
Okay, so Bret and I watched this movie last night. It took place in New Orleans and there is a lot of magic, vodoo, etc... that is associated with that area due to the diverse population there. I have read a lot of books and seen movies that broached a lot of these subjects and have never been disturbed by them, knowing that I was far removed and didn't believe in most of it. Anyhow, while I was watching the movie I didn't feel scared or disturbed or anything like that. It was just another movie. I would probably give it a 2 out of 5 stars. Anyhow, last night I tossed and turned, as did Bret, who eventually ended up in the guest room because he couldn't sleep and didn't want to disturb me. Well, I had horrible nightmares about being possesed and not being able to get rid of the evil spirits. I was very scared and woke up to get reassurance from Bret, but he was gone. That made me even more nervous. But I calmed myself down and looked for him. That is when I found him the guest room. He reluctantly came back to bed and had a hard time sleeping again. I couldn't fall back asleep because I kept revisiting my bad dreams.
It is amazing to me how much influence movies, books and other media can have on our subconscience. (sp) Even though I wasn't scared during the movie, something in my mind was terrified of things in that movie. It had me singing primary songs in my head and praying all night. Which, oddly enough, we had to tell Jarek to do the same thing that night since his brain had gotten overloaded with Pikmin. He couldn't get the music out of his head.
I don't know what was going on last night, but nobody here slept all that well. Even malik woke up around 11 and thought it was time to get up for the day. Crazy!!!
It is amazing to me how much influence movies, books and other media can have on our subconscience. (sp) Even though I wasn't scared during the movie, something in my mind was terrified of things in that movie. It had me singing primary songs in my head and praying all night. Which, oddly enough, we had to tell Jarek to do the same thing that night since his brain had gotten overloaded with Pikmin. He couldn't get the music out of his head.
I don't know what was going on last night, but nobody here slept all that well. Even malik woke up around 11 and thought it was time to get up for the day. Crazy!!!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Books 2005
Here’s a list of books I read in 2005
Title, Author, Year, Times Read, Rating, Category
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Rowling, J.K. 2005 3 1
The Giver Lowry, Lois 2005 2 1
A Long Way from Chicago (audio) Peck, Richard 2005 1 2 Young Adult Fiction
Star Wars: Dark Rendezvous (Clone Wars) Stewart, Sean 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Slave Ship Jeter, K.W. 2005 1 3 Sci-Fi
Heretics of Dune Herbert, Frank 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
The Golden Compass (audio) Pullman, Phillip 2005 1 1 Young Adult Fiction
Year of Wonders Brooks, Geraldine 2005 1 1 Fiction
The Subtle Knife (audio) Pullman, Phillip 2005 1 1 Young Adult Fiction
The Count of Monte Cristo Dumas, Alexandre 2005 1 1 Fiction
The Amber Spyglass (audio) Pullman, Phillip 2005 1 2 Young Adult Fiction
Star Wars: Labyrinth of Evil Luceno, James 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Shadow of the Giant Card, Orson Scott 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Star Wars: Jedi Trial (audio) Sherman, David and Cragg, Dan 2005 1 3 Sci-Fi
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Stover, Matthew 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince Rowling, J.K. 2005 1 1 Fantasy
The Five People You Meet in Heaven Albom, Mitch 2005 1 1 Fiction
Freakonomics Levitt, Steven D. and Dubner, Stephen J. 2005 1 1 Non-Fiction
Wicked Maguire, Gregory 2005 1 2 Fiction
Sabriel Nix, Garth 2005 1 1 Young Adult Fiction
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Rowling, J.K. 2005 2 1 Fantasy
The Old Man and the Sea Hemingway, Ernest 2005 1 2 Fiction
The Handmaid's Tale Atwood, Margaret 2005 1 2 Fiction
Title, Author, Year, Times Read, Rating, Category
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Rowling, J.K. 2005 3 1
The Giver Lowry, Lois 2005 2 1
A Long Way from Chicago (audio) Peck, Richard 2005 1 2 Young Adult Fiction
Star Wars: Dark Rendezvous (Clone Wars) Stewart, Sean 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Slave Ship Jeter, K.W. 2005 1 3 Sci-Fi
Heretics of Dune Herbert, Frank 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
The Golden Compass (audio) Pullman, Phillip 2005 1 1 Young Adult Fiction
Year of Wonders Brooks, Geraldine 2005 1 1 Fiction
The Subtle Knife (audio) Pullman, Phillip 2005 1 1 Young Adult Fiction
The Count of Monte Cristo Dumas, Alexandre 2005 1 1 Fiction
The Amber Spyglass (audio) Pullman, Phillip 2005 1 2 Young Adult Fiction
Star Wars: Labyrinth of Evil Luceno, James 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Shadow of the Giant Card, Orson Scott 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Star Wars: Jedi Trial (audio) Sherman, David and Cragg, Dan 2005 1 3 Sci-Fi
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Stover, Matthew 2005 1 1 Sci-Fi
Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince Rowling, J.K. 2005 1 1 Fantasy
The Five People You Meet in Heaven Albom, Mitch 2005 1 1 Fiction
Freakonomics Levitt, Steven D. and Dubner, Stephen J. 2005 1 1 Non-Fiction
Wicked Maguire, Gregory 2005 1 2 Fiction
Sabriel Nix, Garth 2005 1 1 Young Adult Fiction
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Rowling, J.K. 2005 2 1 Fantasy
The Old Man and the Sea Hemingway, Ernest 2005 1 2 Fiction
The Handmaid's Tale Atwood, Margaret 2005 1 2 Fiction
Movies 2005
Here’s a list of the movies I watched this year, with the format and rating (1 being the best).
TITLE Year Format Rating
Spiderman 2 2005 DVD 1
The Village 2005 DVD 1
House of Flying Daggers 2005 Theater 1
Shall We Dance? 2005 DVD 1
Finding Neverland 2005 Plane 2
After the Sunset 2005 Plane 2
Without a Paddle 2005 DVD 2
Goldmember 2005 TV 2
I, Robot 2005 DVD 1
Alien vs. Predator 2005 DVD 1
The Forgotten 2005 DVD 2
The Incredibles 2005 DVD 1
Star Wars: Clone Wars (Season 1) 2005 DVD 1
King Arthur 2005 DVD 3
Elektra 2005 DVD 2
Spanglish 2005 DVD 1
Ocean's 12 2005 DVD 3
Behind the Sun (Brazilian) 2005 DVD 2
Meet the Fockers 2005 DVD 2
To Live 2005 DVD 1
Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 2005 Theater 1
In Good Company 2005 DVD 2
The Count of Monte Cristo 2005 DVD 2
Hotel Rwanda 2005 DVD 1
Terra Estrangeira 2005 DVD 2
The Pacifier 2005 Plane 2
The Work and the Glory 2005 DVD 1
Shaolin Soccer 2005 DVD 2
War of the Worlds 2005 Theater 2
The Aviator 2005 DVD 1
Harsh Realm (the TV Series) 2005 DVD 1
Pay it Forward 2005 TV 2
The Cave 2005 Theater 2
Scream 3 2005 TV 3
Bride and Prejudice 2005 DVD 2
Saints and Soldiers 2005 DVD 2
Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries 2005 DVD 1
Sahara 2005 DVD 2
The Transporter 2 2005 Theater1
The Transporter 2005 TV 2
Monster-in-Law 2005 DVD 2
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 2005 DVD 2
GI Joe: The Movie 2005 DVD 2
Coach Carter 2005 DVD 1
The Matrix: Reloaded 2005 TV 2
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 2005 Theater 2
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 2005 DVD 2
Mr. And Mrs. Smith 2005 DVD 1
Resident Evil 2005 TV 2
The Fantastic Four 2005 DVD 2
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe 2005 Theater 1
The Island 2005 DVD 2
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